Grocery store pet peeves

mine is fat slow people blocking a whole isle so you have to go around them

girls constantly flirting with me while i'm shopping

that 15 year old working the register that keeps flashing me cleavage. bitch i don't want to go to jail

PLEASE REMOVE LAST ITEM. PLEASE WAIT FOR ASSISTANCE

The grocery jester.

Probably the deli meat manlet.

People at self checkout with more than 10 items when I only need to get a few things

Kids running around and yelling while their parents don't give a shit.

Mentally handicapped (literally) baggers who work agonizingly slow. Look, it's nice that this downy guy has a job, but could he do something different?

...

The worst part is when they try to start up a conversation with you and have zero volume control.

I fucking hate it when I accidentally go there on penis inspection day. They wont even let me leave till its done.

Dohoho yet another example of razor wit from user

>sho[ppng for food
>go to take a shit
>jester hid the turd scissors again

self-checkout.
I fucking hate self-checkout.

On the flip side I prefer to bag my own stuff.

The fact that Walmarts don't have McDonalds anymore so I can't get a delicious McChicken while I shop

i h8 when somebody shat on the floor and then staff cones it off with like 8 cones so theres no way to get past it and you have to turn back and go through another aisle and then back around the other end to get to your purchase

Why is self-checkout so glitchy? Anything, ANYTHING causes it to screw up. And then you have to wait for an attendant who doesnt bother investigating they just hit some button.

Black families hollering and blocking off the aisle till it's permeated with the old cocobutter stench

Because dipshit parents let their lard ass kids crawl on the scale and break the machines.

As someone who used to work at a Walmart (Neighborhood Market at least,) anyone who came through a self-check lane with a huge basket was usually trying to steal. At least it was mostly white trash who would try it.

People standing in my aisle while I'm trying to steal shit.

I hate when that happens.

They just fucking stand there doing nothing, usually with their kids who screech and scream. Sometimes they investigate like they're gonna do something about it, niggas need to stop making me nervous.

Don't you hate that?
Notice how the employees always end up in the next isle over when you move?
It's so coincidental, almost like we are following you.

>grab an egg carton
>open it and check if the eggs are intact
>didn't notice the jester bells...
>satisfied to see them all whole, close it again and want to put it in cart
>grocery store jester slaps the carton out of my hand, laughs annoyingly and fucks off while doing cartwheels
>everyone laughed at me AND I had to pay for those eggs

I don't understand what drove stores to adopt the jesters. By now I'm close to having PTSD from these encounters

They get annoying as fuck around Easter.
Last time I got eggs the motherfucker replaced half of them with the confetti ones when I wasn't looking.
I swear he must have done it while walking to my car.

it piss

Kids riding their Razor scooters through the aisles.
Kids having a shit fit and shrieking while their parents look on adoringly.
This one trashy bitch in my neighborhood who ties her old blind Beagle up outside the store for an hour while she shops, causing it to get scared and confused and howl at earsplitting volumes the whole time. I don't even like dogs, and I know that shit's incredibly cruel.

Mine is fatasses riding scooters. Fatfucks should have to park at the very back and walk all the way in and out

I'm glad that's not a common thing around here. Maybe an old person or once in a blue moon a clinically obese person uses one of these.

People who conversate with the cashier and it just backs up the line. Ok, who cares if Fluffy had to go to the vet. WHY ARE YOU SHARING THAT TYPE OF INFORMATION TO A CASHIER WHO DOESN'T EVEN KNOW YOU. REEEEEEEE

>try to enter store
>old fucks blocking the doorway with their conversation
>try to exit store
>old fucks blocking the doorway while checking their receipt

If a kid is having a shit fit, and parent is just chilling, it means the parent is doing the right thing and not giving the little tyrants what they want. They should be commended.

>I don't even like dogs, and I know that shit's incredibly cruel.
Muslim detected.

If you don't like dogs (and dogs don't like you) you are scum.
It's a fact.

when the shopper-docket doesn't have a maccas or kfc voucher on it.

I'm a different guy, non muslim, dogs are legitimately kind of annoying, they require constant attention and are very high maintenance pets

>actually arguing with "everyone I don't like is a muslim" guy
I once got screeched at by that guy for saying flyovers have stupid alcohol laws

Bigots aren't really known for their high caliber minds

I like dogs but I hate when people bring their little foo-foo surrogate children into the store with them. It's always some old lady with a Pomeranian or similar yappy rat bastard. Stores are too cowardly to stop this shit too.

I don't really give a shit who they are or whether they are a "bigot" in anyone's eyes, dogs are legitimately kinda shit pets and I want people to know that

Yeah, I'm talking real dogs man.
Those little mutant dogs were not meant to be.

>going this far out of your way to prove you're an edgy independent thinker who don't need no safe space
I get it, you're a kewl member of the anonymous hacker club. The fact that you had to type out that huge justification for why your opinions about dogs have nothing to do with an extremely specific religion and can therefore be taken seriously just proves my point. You do care. You just want to make it seem like you don't because that would undermine your kewl Veeky Forums street cred. You wouldn't want anyone to think you were from the reddit would you? That would be bad.

You're a bit of a fag, dogs are pretty shit, stop typing out full paragraphs for things that dont need them

I'm more of a cat person myself. I imagine that probably makes me a muslim feminazi jew reptoid but I'm not going to be pulled down to your level.

Liking cats makes you a regular person in fact I like cats, I have one (pic related) and I'm whiter than snow with no Jew blood, no feminazi ideology and also not muslim at all, liking cats is pretty normal, you just post like a fag is all man

Why do you want people to "know" that. Its an opinion you fucking spastic

Oh ho ho ho. I have the biggest peeve right here:

>That person who has a trolley full of shopping, lays it all out on the belt, asks how much everything is because they are on a budget and then dump half of their shopping because they can't afford it all.

This person. Right here. Is an absolute time wasting cunt. To both people who work at the store, and those who shop at the store.

He bogs the till down with useless crap that the staff has to put back when they could be helping other customers. He's wasted all that time loading stuff he never knew he could buy onto the till, delaying the customers. He comes in and does this shit every week.
So much stuff he affects down the line.

Fuck this guy who can't even basic math. Lazy dumb prick.

It's not an opinion, it's a fucking fact, dogs do require a lot of attention and can be insanely annoying, ever been woken up in the middle of the night by a bored/still hungry after eating its own food and the cats food border collie x kelpie? Or any dog for that matter? It's not fucking fun, had to look after that dog for a few months cause my brother had other shit to do that meant he couldn't look after the dog, fucking thing never shuts up, neither does pretty much every other dog I've ever met, I still haven't found a single one that stays quiet and isn't an overly demanding fuck

Stop shitting on dogs and go back to praying to Allah.

Dogs are almost people, so why wouldn't they require proper treatment?

I'll shit on any dog I want, in fact I'm gonna get a chihuahua and that'll be the designated shitting dog

Fuck allah, fuck muhammad, fuck your dog niggga

Do they really need my fucking attention even though I've already sorted out everything it needs in the middle of the night when I'm trying to sleep, do they really need attention when I'm trying to take a shit, do they really need that attention when I'm trying to eat my fucking dinner?

Think of it this way, your dog will literally die to protect you

No, they wouldn't, trust me, pretty much every dog apart from cop dogs are pansy pieces of shit and will run away from the nearest loud noise with their tail between their legs

Its like that because you do not discipline it and treat it with love. Ive 4 dogs in my family since I was born. I actually have 1 kelpie, 1 kelpie cross hunterway, 2 cats and a bird. Now the dogs sometimes do eat the cats food but they have learned how to open the door because we taught them to. The dogs aren't loud and annoying - they can be at times but the joy they bring is worth it. Nothing better than chasing down kangaroos with your dog.
Its little dogs that I fucking hate and people that hate dogs.

You sound like a very mean person

If you don't treat it properly, sure.

Fuck your cat, which doesn't give a fuck about you & keep around for fuck knows why.

Have fun cleaning up that cat litter that makes your whole house smell like cat ass.

Wasn't even my dog, it was a border collie x kelpie, was my brothers, he trained it and treated it with love, when we had to look after her she was treated with love too, fucker is louder than my loud ass sports car, it is annoying when you're actually doing shit, not doing shit etc, she generally got in the way of everything and was a massive nuisance, my house back then wasn't even small so she had tons of room to be a spaz in and she was walked and played with daily so it's not like she wasn't getting enough excersize. Also yeah, fuck little dogs, fuck them fuck them fuck them, I hate them so fucking much

Also why the fuck are you chasing a roo, shoot it you mongrel

Even dogs that are properly treated can be fucking wimps, brothers border collie x kelpie was scared of my cat and he's the friendliest little shit ever

My cat literally chooses me over food, will run up to me if I come in the house, shits outside and is the cleanest fucker ever, barely ever find his hair on anything

Go suck a dogs dick

Your example doesn't prove me wrong man. I think your brother might have handling his dog wrong, because that doesn't sound right
Or the dog is clever enough to know that a cat isn't a threat to your herd.

That's literally your opinion as I noted before you retard. Its your fault for being a sperg and not being able to handle dogs. Can't imaging you having children if you can't handle dogs bahahhaha

Nah, this dog was taken well of and handled really well and was just a fucking wimp like most other dogs I've met

It's not that I can't handle them it's just that I find it a pain in the fucking ass, they are high maintenance and they require a lot of attention and effort which you could be using on something else that won't die in 12 or so years and won't amount to anything apart from being a dog that blindly loves pretty much anything in front of them, work dogs are fine in that regard since they actually do something apart from sit around for the whole day and lick you and bark at you for more food in the afternoon when you come back

I bet the only reason why you're shilling so hard for dogs is cause you like their knot

>Only have 5 items
>Go to Express Lane
>Lane is full of huge orders because the cashier is too passive to say anything or the people in there are just straight up assholes and refuse to leave

Why has this thread derailed into cat vs dogs?

Look. Dogs are higher maintenance, but you can teach them to do shit a cat wouldnt want to do. They make great pets for active people since they will go pretty much anywhere you go and they like being kept busy.

Cats are lower maintenance but less dependent. That doesn't mean cats are incapable of showing affection to their owners. They actually have been proven to watch their owners behaviours and adapt their own to mutual benefit. Better pets for people that like to chill out more, or dont want to feel too guilty about leaving the house for a few hours.
(Dogs stress levels immediately go through the roof if they are left alone whereas cats usually would just go nap somewhere, learn what time you would be back and wait for you then next time)

Different floats for different boats.

I want to get back to shitting on Shop floor shitters.

Nice projecting spastic I hope your children die at 12 years of age

Its turned into 1 guy that cant handle dogs because they bark. 1 guy that cant get a job because when it gets too loud or work gets hard he quits

Of course Americans are scared of dogs because they are shit people and dogs don't like them

Fag

I can handle dogs, I just find them fucking annoying, go adopt a sheepdog and see how insane their appetite is, how loud their bark is, how much attention they require and how much they get in the way of shit, looking after one for a few months is one thing, owning them is a whole new thing, dunno how my brother puts up with the nightbarking

Times that by 10 for small dogs, dunno how those small yappy dogs get so fucking insanely annoying

Thanks for your opinion SENPAI!

Ok fag, also ABBA is extremely gay

Says the cat lover lmao

Yeah, says the man with a cat, what of it fag

CATS RULE DOGS DROOL
KISS MY ASS DOG LOVERSSSS!!!

I disagree. If you're in private, sure. If you're in public, you threat to strip them and pin them against the bathroom wall by their neck under the cold shower for 5 minutes that way they have no proof that you traumatized their asses for being embarrassing fucktards in public. They HAVE to learn that behavior rules change when you're in public.

most of those fatfucks have legitimate joint problems because they're fatfucks. they couldn't walk upright if the store was on fire because 30 years of supporting 400+ pounds wreaks havoc on your knees.

really, in this day and age, most people under 40 hate it when strangers get chatty. unless the chatty one is a cute girl with flexible morals.

Too bad, they can walk, I don't give a fuck about their joints, they did it to themselves, I have a completely fucked knee and I still walk without even a walking cane

I bet you have 3 cats and a befriend named Powder.

>Liking cats makes you a regular person

Liking cats makes you a child. Statistically, 86% of cats are adopted while the owner is 18-25. Dogs lead all other age ranges.

One male cat, called Felix

Dogs are more coveted by children, cats aren't, also 18 is legally an adult, dumb nigger

>bringing your dog into the store
>the store not kicking you out for it

>pet peeve thread

Reddit: cats
Veeky Forums: dogs

Enjoy your zombie parasites.

Other way around mate

Fuck em both.

>t. Nomadic ferret owner

Reddit: dogs + cats
Veeky Forums: koi

>Nomadic
Gypsy.

Do you rely have mobility scooters in stores, always though it was a joke?
But the wors is when they change the ails so you have to search every time everywhere. Haven't seen it in a few years but still.

birb eat sketti with tomatoe

where do you live jesus

I do this since I actually know some of the cashiers. But I limit the chattering to the actual time needed for checkout and payment so I don't clog the line.
Also, old people. Fuck old people.

what country you live in... never seen any jesters around here..

Hi, you must be new here.

that's a cute birb

...

>grocery day
>really tired after work
>might as well use the grocery store sauna to relax a little before shopping
>it's packed with boomers
>annoyed proceed to shop
>store is out of falcon munch and imitation crab legs
>guard flags me for penis inspection on check out
>didn't pass
>now banned from the store

At least I didn't get grocery jester forced labor as a penalty.

Mine has a no singles policy so I was rejected at the door, didn't even make it to penis inspection.

People who don't even try to put things back where they got it. Like putting steak with chicken in the chilled isle is no big deal, but putting raw chicken on a shelf next to bread? Die.

B-but you got dubs...

>girls constantly flirting with me while i'm shopping
>that 15 year old working the register that keeps flashing me cleavage. bitch i don't want to go to jail
Things that never happened: the post.

I always use self checkout, as I like to go to the register with the cutest person

Self-checkout means obligatory penis inspection in my town's Tesco, I rather chance it with the cashiers.

Could just be my area, but my grocery store will sometimes have snakes hiding in the aisles. Most are pythons so they're harmless but they like to hang around the pre-made meal lamps and it's startling to have one dangle down at you. At least the alligators are easy to spot.

I don't mind the grocery store in itself, but somehow it becomes unbearable if I have to shop *with* someone.

>at local food market
>browsing aisles of prepared meats and packaged dry goods
>hear laughter from cereal aisle
>poke head around the corner timidly
>grocery jester is putting his dick in a box
>looks up mischievously
>shhhhh he says
>trix are for kids
I tried reporting him to the manager but they said it kept obnoxious child incidents to a minimum...