Those 25+ yo friends that can't cook at all

Finger your gf

>friends
leave now

>gf
GET THE FUCK OUT

>Yeah they never taught me anything, but I never showed any interest or asked either
Same. Although part of it was that they would get super angry if I didn't immediately catch on to everything. I was a really good student when I was young, so my mother, especially, expected me to be able to do everything right the first time, and when I didn't she got mad. Meanwhile, my father just didn't like explaining stuff and expected me to read his mind, which was also frustrating. Over time, I developed an irrational fear of trying to do new things because I always associate it with being judged harshly.

I ended up learning most shit in life from trial and error, from driving a car to cooking, which I learned mostly on my own and then got extra tips from my gf.

It's pathetic if you can't cook for shit when you're 18.
I remember this girls birthday, her friend's boyfriend brought boiled rice from home and they could hardly put together a fucking powder sauce.

>confusing concern with ridicule
how's that mental retardation treating you?

I do the lettuce thing with most meals just for some veg and because I hate all dressings they are GROSS

>r9k is that-a-way man

>blaming others for not learning something
fuck off, i bet the white man planted drugs and made people do them too huh?

I can heat stuff in the oven and use a stove, good enough

I may not be able to make some pretty faggy meal but i can cook meat on a mid low setting so the outside doesnt get too burnt add some starchy product and fruit or vegatable bam u got a meal.

I can uh.. make all kinds of soups. That's pretty advanced right?

My gf and I definitely aren't perfect, but some of my friends..

>friend 1
>works for amazon
>rolling in money
>bought his first house paid it off on the spot
>saw him at the grocery store the other day
>had a basket
>barely had anything in it
>reese puff cereal
>milk
>2 cans of chunky soup
>juice

>friend 2
>always has mcDs on the way to work for breakfast
>lunch is a cliff bar
>dinner: a cucumber, some slices of cheese, and lunch meat
>she's a girl btw, not skelly

Most people eventually pair off, so really only about half the population has to learn to cook. Someone who doesn't want to or can't cook can always hook up with someone who does.

make your own dressing you fucking pleb

i have about 4-5 different ones i regularly make for salad

This isn't your crying spot / echo chamber user

>have friend over on monday night
>he works weekends
>crack open some cold ones with my boy
>cook turkey burgers and caprese salad
>he raves about dinner
>he asks what's in the caprese as i made it in advance
>tell him, its the same as every caprese in the world
>he says "i might try to make this at home but, what does the balsamic vinegar look like?"
>mfw

>implying homemade dressing is any better
No thanks freak, it is better than store bought but still nasty

t. the sperg from wizchan

Those 25+ yo friends that can't cook and are also picky eaters

Parents never taught me to cook. I just went out, got a couple of books and followed the directions. Isn't that hard.

>>frozen fish and french fries, plain lettuce on the side
Sans lettuce, this is a fairly satisfying meal if it's the frozen, pre-cooked breaded stuff. Spray down a pan in canola, throw a box of fish and half a bag of fries on there and cook together. Really comes out great.

>tfw a bit late but learning

LMAO, I grew up in foster homes and state shelters and I still taught myself how to cook halfway decent meals by looking it up on the internet - and I'm not talking about box dinners with canned vegetables. My strengths are southern comforts (fried or baked chicken, mashed potatoes, fresh cooked vegetables, fried okra, etc.) and tex-mex (burritos, enchiladas, tacos, nachos) but my weaknesses are beef in any form but ground (never really shell out for steaks) and fancy shit I don't bother with. If I can't make dinner in an hour (barring cooking time for the meat) then it's not worth making myself for a half-ass thing a chef can do much better when I eat out.
Potatoes aren't a mystery and neither are proper internal temperatures, people just get pampered by being lazy and spoiled on frozen sodium saturated garbage.

You don't own Veeky Forums you chubby, frustrated junior high schooler.

those kind of people can't be my friends under any circumstance

Tbh when I was in my teens-early 20s friend 1 diet is how I'd eat most of the time until I got a gf who actually cooked and started expecting me to cook sometimes, at which point I googled most shit.

I grew up as the oldest of three in a single-parent household, so I had the luxury of learning how to cook for myself and others early on. I actually cannot understand how a supposedly grown ass adult can't even cook basic foods.

Hope you're not eating iceberg lettuce, it's worthless nutrition-wise. Romaine has some nutrition, but barely. Start buying spinach, it goes well with a lot of savory foods and has a shitload of vitamins and minerals.

right there with you buddy

I can cook, but that hour spent in the kitchen would be better spent playing video games.

I spent 11 hours getting to and from work total.

I just order food a lot and exploit coupons like a mother fucker.

I kind of like this because whenever I cook for them they are blown away and my ability to cook at a basic level makes them like me more

Literally everyone I know.
>go to friend's house
>he's preparing breakfast
>he is making scrambled eggs
>there's a lake of oil in the frying pan
>fucking sunflower oil
>he can't flip the eggs for shit
>quarter of the eggs stuck to the pan
Forgot to add he added a teaspoon of salt

I'm blaming the dumb parents who didn't teach their kid life skills, dumbfuck.
good for you people.

>I'm blaming the dumb parents who didn't teach their kid life skills, dumbfuck.

That's certainly a bad thing. But just standing back and saying "waaah I can't cook b/c my parents never taught me" is not an excuse. It just means you have to learn now, as an adult, instead.

And these days there's no fucking excuse for not teaching yourself given how many resources are instantly available online. There has never been an easier time to learn how to cook than right now. You can whip out your phone/tablet/etc and get instruction from world-class chefs. You can read recipes (and translate them!) from anywhere in the world. You can see video of how things are done in realtime. You can use that same device to mail-order ingredients or supplies you don't have local access to. And so on.

You have no idea how many 40+ guys I know who don't know how to cook at all.

>"my wife used to cook"
You mean your second mom, dipshit.

>look at me guiz, am I doin the 4chin thing right??/?

Do people that don't know how to cook just don't try at all?
It's incredibly simple to cook basic meals

My parents never teached me how to cook. But if you're not stupid you can mimic and adapt most of their quick made dishes without any teaching.

For the more complicated recipes just pick up some coocking book and practice.

I have intense anxiety and don't want to leave my room when my roommates are home. I would like to try to learn to cook if I could afford to live alone. I end up only eating when I take a lunch break at work or when they are out of town.

f-friends... yyeah totally I hate them too...

my father knows how to make hamburgers

my mom makes spaghetti, lasagna, and meatloaf.

they were not talented in the kitchen, and though I've learned to appreciate cooking for fun as much as for sustenance, I always felt kinda bad that most of our meals were microwaved dinners and cheap-shit meal-in-a-box one-offs that tasted...well, not bad, but not particularly great.

I honestly don't think they thought of food as anything more than the stuff that gets you through one awful day and into another. I love cooking for them at Thanksgiving, though. It's such a goddamn joy.

>prior fwb didn't even know how to make a grilled cheese

cooking isn't really important you know?

>mother owned a rest and ride/bed and breakfast
>she didn't want to cook breakfast stuff all the time
>made me make large breakfasts for guests
>stopped being able to make ends meet
>started getting those betty crocker /sarah lee complete meals in a box
>had to live with the agony of boxed food through most of middle and highschool
>took culinary arts in highschool
>never get to practice anything because no real food at home
>10 years later mother dies from diabetes related complications
we're at the point where food education needs to be taught in schools. Since it's practical life skill and parents sure shit not doing it.

My mom basically only eats peanut butter toast, snacks, and yogurt at home. I learned in foods class and from just having an interest in cooking.

>31
>only eat frozen pizza, fast food, precooked food form the store
>can't even cook eggs
ehh

How about
>parents that cant cook at all

>be 21
>never learned how to cook and lack all motivation to learn
>frozen pizza all day
>slowly start learning, just don't really know where to begin
>friends gets into cooking, teaches me a bit
>suddenly I 'get it', now enjoy learning new stuff

>meet gf
>she's vegetarian
>alright, we'll see if this works for the both of us.
>its alright, gf doesnt mind me eating meat and vice versa
>discuss eating meat, she starts eating it on occassion whilst I eat a bit less
>a whole new world of dishes, fruits and veggies opens up to me
>now know how to eat healthy and am able to learn new stuff
>pretty confident all in all

And yet, everytime my parents come to visit, they criticise my cooking. 'user, there's barely any salt in this', 'lol user, don't you miss eating meat now that your gf forced you to eat less?', 'lol, what is this? eggplant and zuchini? wtf user, we don't eat that'. Worst of all, they're fat fucks who put salt on everything.

What sort of parents make fun of their kid for eating healthier. Maybe you should explain to them that they should eat more veggies too.

My dad worked as a bartender for like 6 years and he tried teaching me how to cook as I was growing up. The only useful stuff I learned from him was how to keep my utensils clean and keep everything in the kitchen organized.
When he tried teaching me how to actually cook food, all I learned was how to boil spaghetti and how to make a shitty overcooked steak.
>Okay son now we're going to pour Bud Light over the steak. It really enhances the flavor.
>No you don't want any pink in there, that means it's underdone.
He taught me how to make really nice Long Island Ice Teas and Kamikazes though.

when they die which is assume is soon don't forget to salt their grave and gratinate the headstones with some cheese and blow torch.

>your parents are Veeky Forums shitposters
do they also drink zero calorie monster?

Sounds like a lower class/intelligence thing, like the Veeky Forums posters that brag about eating junk.

>Forgot to add he added a teaspoon of salt
whats wrong with a lil bit of salt on some eggs

Jesus.

This shit is why I'm currently in the process of learning. I'm being supervised by my mother, but I'm hoping to cook something solo soon.

That's a lot of salt for some eggs, 1/4 tsp would suffice.

>having friends
what are you a fucking normie

Why have concern? This isn't the dark ages. We have frozen meals and restaurants. If someone can't cook, they don't starve, they just miss out on the ability to have delicious home cooking whenever they want.

>be only child of single mum
>ages
>1-12
Gmum(RIP) and aunts cook EVERYTHING. going out to eat is a rare luxury. Only male in the family to help in kitchen, EVER.

>13-18
chubbier and into fast food more, Culinary school for junior/senior yrs. (bready good)

\18-23 skinny fuck now and I've been thru 3 diff kitchen and can say this, HOT FOOD HOT, COLD FOOD COLD. that said, I LITERALLY just realized I've trained myself into a dam good cook without actually realizing it till now.. I went to college for mathematics.

I'd raise to bar to 21

why were you fucking that potato, user

this is autism

in my first year, had a roommate that ate only frozen pizzas (dr oetker) ones, chocolate and chips fried in oil.

Literally never saw him cooking anything else in the kitchen for an entire year.

Tbh eggplants and zucchini are gross. Nothing wrong with eating less meat though.

Both my parents are chefs. So you'd think I'd of learnt a lot as a kid. But really most of the cooking I know is from basic common sense/trial and error... And school.

Cooking is easy, you just need to follow a recipe and if it's a video recipe on Youtube it's even easier.
People that say that they can't cook are just lazy, don't like to cook or might be too tired from work to want to cook.

But spinach is icky.

Iceberg really isn't worthless, just not very good for the price. By weight, it's about half as nutritious as romaine and the per-calorie nutrients density is about the same.

People act like iceberg lettuce is poison, while they guzzle extracted oil, but it's really not.

jeffnovick.com/RD/Articles/Entries/2008/3/21_Iceberg_Lettuce__A_Lesson_In_Nutrient_Density.html

I often have a plain chunk of lettuce or cruciferous vegetable on the side with my bread and hummus. A salad with dressing and stuff can easily approach the calories of a bowl of grains/tubers and beans.

just do the greek thing olive oil and lemon and leafy salads are the pedestrian salads stuff like tabbouleh and those salads where it's essentially 80% 1cm cubes of vegetables and olives are where it's at.

I add walnuts if I want my salad to have as many calories as a bowl of starch and beans.

Dad loved to cook
He also loved getting drunk
He also beat me up whenever I tired to cook for touching his stuff
He is old now, has gout and will never get over his drinking
Now I cook wathever I want and ignore his texts and calls
Life finds a way

>People act like iceberg lettuce is poison

Nobody ever said it was poison user. Just that it's pretty low-tier as far as nutrition goes.

>tfw grew up cooking and cleaning with the family of 5
>4 of us cooked together all the time
>1 would do dishes

I'm not doing that shit again, huge waste of time. Microwave/fast food is the goat

Are you suggesting the only reason you eat salad is to save on calories? I'd much prefer a salad as a side or small meal than a bowl of beans, that's for sure.

Even granting that though, you dress a salad with just two tablespoons of olive oil, some lemon, and some seasoning, amounting to around 200 calories. Better yet use Greek yogurt or light mayonnaise. I eat huge mixing bowls full of salad dressed generously in the stuff, containing also fish or chicken, and they come in at around 500 calories.

Share recipes?

I like the crunch of whole walnut pieces. Tahini dressing is good too, but a bit much at the same time. Flavorless extracted oil needs to die.

It's good to have *some* fat with greens:

nutritionfacts.org/video/forego-fat-free-dressings/

I usually just prefer plain whole lettuce or a bowl of chopped Napa I can eat with my hands.

Had a roommate who has completely oblivious to how shit he was in a kitchen, and turning down his offers for some of the garbo he had made became increasingly difficult without letting him know the truth. He only made soups, which were bland, and he would consistently put eggs in, without stirring, making the whole mess a chunky hell where you would throw up a little in your mouth every 3rd spoonfull. "Eggs give nice consistency" he insisted.

I want to be a teacher so I can help kids with shit like this. I wouldn't make classes mandatory or anything, but I would put a HUUUUUUUUGE emphasis on things like extracurricular programs devoted to motivating people to get into weightlifting, coking food, driving (why the fuck aren't there Highschool car clubs yet?), anger management, and basic conflict resolution skills (designed to educate teenagers on matters of self-defense, de-escalation, and especially on keeping open and communicating with your loved ones).

I've seen enough dead-beat kids turn into dead-beat young adults. My friends are all potheads and slackers and the ones that aren't are highly adept at things like medicine and law, but are otherwise absolute losers at life.

You want to know the secret to success? Learn how to cook, read up on history, and hit the weights. Those three things will fix your math skills, writing skills, speaking ability, your marriage, your relationships, your business; anything. Just learn those three things and you're absolutely golden.

>hit the weights
why?

>put in communications class with all grills
>paired off for activity
>one writes instructions for making peanut butter and jelly sandwich
>other follows them EXACTLY
>they all use prior knowledge and think I'm special

>read up on history, and hit the weights
I almost thought you were a sane person. I'm sure this fits into some sort of fantasy political ideological you left out. Don't get me wrong I don't think having an interest in history or weight lifting is unhealthy I just think there's more to being a well rounded and functional person.

W-What did he mean by this?

Got interested in Asian cooking as a teen, and its sort of stuck with me since. I guess I started initally out of curiosity to try and learn new things.If your going to have a hobby cooking is about as benifical as it comes. Love cooking up stirfry or healthy noodles with a broth. Its pretty easy to do, and will save your health, and im sure impress people. Eastern food theory and Chinese Medicine is also interesting as hell.

I'm not entirely sure why you're so skeptical of my curriculum. I mean, I know everyone's different, but I feel like every male should get into weightlifting at least one point in their lives. At the very least, do some body calisthenics, cause it's better than nothing (we consider them memes on Veeky Forums).

As for political ideology, I'm just barely libertarian, but I consider myself a centrist. I support equal rights for gays, I support abortion, I support gun control, I support the legalization of marijuana (among other things), I support freedom of speech, but I also support less power for the federal government and more state rights. You have to understand; I didn't take an interest in history and lifting because I wanted to be somebody-- powerlifting and history made me who I am.

I mention slackers because I WAS a slacker. Those three things (cooking, lifting, history) made me into a better person, along with religion, but I purposely left that out to avoid a shit show. People think they gravitate towards hobbies that suit their lifestyle, but the truth is also the same vice versa-- if you live a life dedicated to physical and mental fitness, your attitude towards life changes for the better.

History is anthropology is psychology is understanding others. Fitness is understanding and accepting yourself. Cooking is understanding responsibility and ability. Those three life skills are more than enough to get you far in life.

Think of them as a young-adult "starter pack". No political BS.

Also, noodle and stirfry based dishes are a great place to start because your basically throwing whatever you want into a pot of ingrediants, and its pretty easy

It's not like you can learn how to cook via YouTube?
That's how I learned

any type of physical activity is fine, even cleaning the garage or going for walks

what matters is that it makes you a more active person, and teaches you discipline

>friend is actually a good cook
>go round to eat
>he printed menus

Oh shit, I meant "I support gun ownership". Gun control is, obviously, the opposite of libertarianism.

seconded,
furthermore weight lifting is not always a matter of discipline. A lot of weight lifting is motivated by internal insecurities and can be a way of running from them rather than facing them. Most people are not weight lifting because they want to be healthy they're lifting because they either want to look better or be stronger than the average guy. Cardio is discipline because it's not something you can flaunt or hide behind.