Worst Family Dinner

She's her daughter too, yeah.

Nothing.. & this was Christmas mind you.

Don't do crack.

fuck you faggot. take some responsibility for your family. your daughter obviously provoked the dog and thats why she got bit. If you cant handle it, maybe you should not have hosted thanksgiving at your house you tryhard yuppie. i know. why dont you cry about it on the internet some more, loser?

You sound upset. Also:
>A 2 year old provoked it

Back to >>>an/ with the other faggot losers.

You sound like an nice son.

You sound insufferable. Your the type of dad who's "little princess" can do no wrong right? Unless it affects you.

upset? no. teach your kids instead of blaming everyone else. and cool it on saying "nigger", theres no bigger sign of a tryhard loser that needs to go back to his trap threads on /b/

I know. I totally could have saved her a vet bill for putting it down. The thing died 3 months later.

A child is a reflection of their parents. Sounds like you need to train your shitty little kid better.

You definitely sound like the type of faggot who thinks his little angel is completely innocent.

>2 year old
>Dog apologist
You are a dumb.

Tip with rip

>2 year old
You are also dumb

>my kid can't do wrong

All I'm hearing bud.

Yo dog dude just stop replying you're getting baited hard this is painful to watch

I decided the same. They'll get no more (you)s from me.

...

This sounds like my dad. My sister end of screwing up my dad and now has two kids by some low life thug off the streets.

back to plebbit faggot

You sound like a fucking moron. Your daughter was likely irritating the dog (something you should have been careful about) and anyway, shit happens. Stop being a hysterical helicopter parent.

And do you think 2 year olds are somehow incapable of annoying dogs? And are incapable of being taught how to behave correctly? Your shitty parenting is just confirmed.

Who the fuck would do that!

>come to this thread for cool stories
>one good story and 30 replies baiting that guy

Pick of my three stories & rate

>Love
>Work
>penis inspection day

man, it sure smells like big dumb idiot in here

Thanksgiving when I was like 12 or 13. Stayed up all night playing Kingdom Under Fire: Heroes and apparently lost my voice because I went to sleep at 7 am and woke up in time for dinner without being able to speak. Shit was gay. Don't know what, how, or why I got sick. Wasn't a sore throat, but some kind of infection. Girlfriend had it last year, too.

I love holiday family feels. Even the sad ones.

I'm not that guy but old blind dogs are incredibly stupid and will snap at their own tail and try to bite it if it gets in their face.

Dogs in general aren't too bright really.

It wasn't permanent. Just for the day.
No sad feels to be found and I'm sorry if I upset you.

>mom's birthday
>mom is bipolar
>will not admit it
>will freak out of nowhere and it's almost like she throws these fits of rage and tantrums to garner attention
>go to a sushi place with her, my stepdad, and brother
>brother is like 15 at the time
>i'm 17
>brother gets bored
>throws some banter at me
>throw some back
>we laugh
>keep it low enough where people around us can't hear
>her new boyfriend thinks it's funny to make dick and poop jokes at the dinner table
>it's not funny
>we pretend to laugh because we like the guy to a degree but his humor is childish and has no depth
>we slowly stop laughing at it
>continue making banter with each other instead
>mom is acting weird "why can't you be nice to each other on my birthday"
>explain to her this is how boys shoot the shit and it's good way to bond
>didn't even realize it but this one girl who was sitting next to us was this girl from my 8th grade class whose ass I slapped really hard
>her family is there right next to us
>mom is now making poop and dick jokes
>me and brother have stopped after the first ten minutes and they've been going on for 20 minutes
>it's not fucking funny and we now have people a foot away from us
>ask her if she can please stop that I know the people next to us
>she gets so fucking offended she blows up at the table
>she blows up at boyfriend,me, and brother
>girl is looking at us
>she finally recognizes me(I lost something like 100lbs she was fit as fuck though)
>I'm fucking embarrassed literally just get up and leave
>mom yells "where the fuck do you think you're going"
>don't even reply
>stay outside
>brother comes join me
>mom and her boyfriend pays the bill
>she's going on about how we ruined her birthday
>rinse and repeat every birthday she has
>mom thinks because it's her birthday she can act like a diva bitch and if we say anything we're the bad guys
>no longer eat out with parents
>let them bring back food if they want
God they can never be civilized.

Nice typo, you must've meant you were 17, because you wouldn't want to get b&.

I feel ya' though, my sister is the same way. Going places with her is such a chore, trying to figure out what to say and do to prevent a total breakdown in the middle of public. Best of luck to you in getting some freedom soon.

>at the time
You're fucking retarded.

Who hurt you? No need to be so rude, Mr. Sourpuss.

Any dinner that my mother's exboyfriend was home for, whether it was a family gathering or just me, my sisters, our mom and him. One night he was using a fork that was bent and he said to my little sisters, and in front of our mom who said nothing about it, 'This must be user's mashed potato fork'. I've never even been fat.

Yeah my bad on the typo I'm turning 21 october 6th I've got another story I have a lot of people offer me to go drinking on my birthday recently and one of them was my mom saying her boyfriend should take me to "21 holes"
>mom says that "oh god do not say anything please for the love of god"
>boyfriend chimes in "21 HOLES HAHAH 21 HOLES HONEY"
>starts making 21 hole jokes about my mom with my mom as my mom makes them
>literally makes sex jokes for a good 15 minutes
>didn't even think this was possible for a 40 something year old man and 50 year old woman
>quickly change the subject and tell mom it's not 21 holes and to never say that term again
>tell her it's a pub crawl and it was in that same movie with the guy from Sean of the Dead to change the fucking subject
>have a quick discussion with her boyfriend about Hot Fuzz and Sean of The Dead
>relieved I was able to change the subject
>mom doesn't know these movies
>goes back to making gross 21 hole jokes
>go back to being internally grossed out and pissed off
>don't eat dinner with them again
that was like a week ago they're fucking niggers

Why the fuck was your mums ex coming to dinner

Every dinner i ever had until i was 18

boyfriends are retarded and so is their humor it's why they're so late in the game they have to go for literal moms god I fucking hate them

He's probably speaking in like past tense like it's now her exboyfriend you dig hombre

I should've said 'now exboyfriend'. They were still dating at the time

Lel, would've been real fuckin awkward having an ex around for dinner, that makes more sense

The dinners that we never even had because my parents were fighting.

Kill yourself edgelord retard

What the fuck is "21 Holes" even referring to

...

>go to 21 different bars
>take a shot from each
That's how she explained it and I told her that's not the right term god I hate sitting down with my family

Lmao old dykes are fucking useless. Your kid is more important than a dumb mutt.

Ah, righto, I've never even heard of 21 holes before now.

I hate sitting down with my family too, all they do is blab on about fucking politics, my big brother is the worst since part of his uni course is about chinese politics and shit, except for my uncle, he's cool, we talk about audio and tech shit

That is his mom.

I can have another child, she gave me life.

HATE YOU SO MUCH

K OP I have one.
Every year my mothers side of the family has a couple dinners (they're waspy) and these dinners usually take place at my grandmothers.
Enter my great uncle, Ken.
Every year since I was a teen, Ken has goaded me into some sort of argument that quickly became impossible for me to win.
I don't know why he doesn't like me- I was just a child when this started. Maybe I was a shitty child, I don't know.

Anyways- on one occasion he noticed I had a LiveStrong bracelet on (remember those?)
>what's that?
I explain the creator and foundation
>interesting user, interesting...
>and how do you feel about his doping? He's a cheater and liar, isn't he?
>so then you must support corrupt governments?
>clearly you have some low moral standards

One Christmas I bought him a gift card for our local alcohol store.
I write in the card that I wasn't sure what he may like- and I hoped he could make use of this.
>mmh.. Interesting user... You must have an extremely low sense of self worth.
>what a small person you must be

Last year, he was on deaths doorstep. At Christmas dinner, there he sat. A feeble, fumbling mess. He could hardly remember what a spoon was for. He sat across the table from me- milky eyed, looking right through me
>thankfuck.jpeg

Everything is going well, Ken mumbles and dinner is great. Until my wife says "yes my husband does all our shovelling!"
>Ken's eyes light up
>suddenly he is with us
>"you mean you're big stupid husband?"

Anyways.
He died this year. My only regret in life is that I wasn't there to see it for myself.

Also, fuck that dog guy- dog's bite man, get over it.

It's his stepmum/mother in law, not his actual mother

>mom is trying to be very political
>in past has voted Bush and Obama and Clinton
>for whatever fucking reason has a hard on for necons and neolibs
>asks me out of the blue who I'm voting for
>it's my mom why would I lie to her
>tell her I'm voting Trump
>proceeds to tell every one of her libshit friends about me wanting to vote Trump
>tells me he's not going to win
>tells me he's a big orange idiot etc
>try and show mom everything wrong with Clinton
>literally covers her fucking ears going "lalalalalala" like a fucking child
>get to have 20-30 minute long conversations about why I'm voting Trump and not Clinton doesn't help I live in California
>Trump wins
>mom proceeds to act like a sore loser shit talking him every chance she gets around me
>tells me I'm going to have to prepare for war etc
>end of the world is coming thanks to "drumpf"
>told her Clinton wanted to enlist us and would have enlisted me and brother
>she has said before she'd take us to Canada if that'd happen never asked her to get us out of the situation
>proceeds to fucking tell me before Trump wins that if Clinton wanted that it's for good reason
>call her a dumb cunt etc tell her she has no compassion for her children
God the longer I live with them the more I realize they're sub human. My mom was born in Cuba and left when Castro took over I would of thought she'd have learned that these are the same communist sympathizers she attempts to shit talk. It makes me so fucking angry.

ignoring the politics this is pretty embarrassing behavior for anyone, jesus

Baby boomers, man

Jesus man, I feel for you, your mother sounds like a complete spaz, thankfully my family has pretty homogeneous views (apart from my little sister) and there aren't many arguments, I always ignore conversations about politics, they're always boring as fuck plus I'm just not interested in it at all unless it relates to gun laws and car laws, they're fucking shit here in Australia man

siding with the shitty old dog belonging to the shitty in-law over your own daughter, typical Veeky Forums virgins

You're the man
Fuck these idiotic replies

Wow if you thought that was bad wait to you hear this
>Dad's birthday
>don't have a good relationship with the man
>he has severe assburgers and his wife is a La Raza cunt LARPing as a Native American every now and then
>They decide to go to El Torito which is this really shit Mexican chain restaurant
>Don't even mind think that everything is cool and that we're just having dinner
>After really shit service from you guessed it the people who can barely speak a lick of English my dad's wife decides to bring up I'm an "avid" supporter of Trump
>Say "yeah I voted for him"
>Grandfather who works with Hollywood kikes goes "how could you vote for that man if I had it my way I'd have him assassinated"
>look at him and ask him how he could say such a shitty thing
>they're going on about how he just bombed Syria and that Obama would never do anything like that how he should of been able to have another term
>Look at them and go "you know that he not only deported more than 2 million illegals during his term but was the president to drop the most drone strikes and inflate our debt because of proxy wars right?"
>Conversation goes back to "orange idiot,drumpf,muh clinton should have won, he does not respect women etc."
>Told them the man is great and he also busted over 1200 pedophile rings
>They tell me it's not true
>Brother who is pretty quite about politics (he's 17 now) says
>"I believe in Pizza Gate and what Trump is doing to stop (((them))) is cool"
>they're looking at us like we're ebin Nazis
>Finish dinner
>Will now get to hear this from the entirety of my father's side because they're all libshit cunts probably save for a few
>Other day dad told me I should go join the military and fuck off to support Trump's administration if I love the guy so much
>Tell the cunt there is absolutely nothing wrong with serving one's country and that he should be acting respectful towards the men and women who fight to allow him to have his shit opinions

Jesus man, I'd disown my family if I were you, they sound like the biggest bunch of fucking tards ever

You should question your brother's intelligence

Eh, I have plenty of stories. My mom is a psychopath, so countless Thanksgivings and Christmases (basically the only time we ever eat dinner together) have been ruined by her flipping her shit over minor stuff.

Last year I told her I changed jobs and she started beating my car with her fists. She broke a glass table on me one year (I knocked over a chair while we were screaming at each other).

All that aside, I was too young to remember it, but I was sitting at a dinner where my grandfather got drunk and admitted to raping my two female cousins that were under ten years old. That was probably the worst for everyone.

He's a smart kid was able to learn guitar in something like 2 years and formed his own band that played with some pretty well known garage rock bands from our SoCal scene he gets good grades and is the hippie garage punk version of a Chad Thundercock I love that kid so much. He's the only one in the family I think is intelligent to a degree where you can have a philosophical conversation and then just jump straight into banter. Everyone else in the family is kinda dumb though.

You should've beaten her car with your fists back

The thought constantly comes though my head or it's the thought of suicide when I'm dealing with them but at the end of the day I'd keep in contact with my mom, brother, and stepdad. They're all good people and my mom and stepdad are entitled to their own opinions unlike my dad though my mom actually tries to be a mom and I really love that about her.

Jesus fucking christ dude I'm so sorry how has your family not beaten the fuck out of that man and how have you not snapped to Hulk levels of anger with that woman? You're a saint.

Shiet, your brother sounds ok if not a bit weird but your mother and stepdad sound a bit mentally challenged.

Is your dad really that bad, like has he never even tried to be a dad at all or something?

Psychotic cousin had a meltdown throwing plates and shit

Not that bad to be honest since he's usually like that

Well, I know my dad has some history of abuse with her (although that's a muddy line, it depends on if you're in the 'never hit a woman' crowd or not, as she'll hit him and slap him and scream in his face, but if he tries to pin her so she doesn't hit him, she screams abuse). But because of that I've really learned to stop and find a center in myself when she goes off like that. She's done so much more than these outbursts at dinner.

As for my grandfather, I was separated permanently from him that day. I barely ever really knew him. He had a stroke that paralyzed him over half of his body, and took away the use of his cock, so at least there's some justice out there. He's dead now. I saw him once in the hospital and told him to go fuck himself before he died.

The guy tried suiciding twice while we were at school,tried killing my mom, tried killing my mom and himself, and tried to kill me, my brother, and my mom. He'd also physically abuse me and would try to pit me and my brother against each other. My brother terrorizes him now as much as possible because of this because my dad separated us from being able to live with each other. A while back my brother's apendix was about to burst while he was playing a show (the tough motherfucker finished it too) and when they got him to the hospital and put him on fentanyl to ease the pain he got pretty fucking out of it and the second my dad walked in he started screaming at him that he was a pig and to fuck off out of the hospital and to kill himself etc. There's a lot of bad blood between me and my dad though he kicked me out of the house after convincing me that I'd be able to live with them and not even half of a month living in there he tells me to get out. I was 18 and had to miss a year of school to be able to support myself full time luckily my girlfriend was around during the time and we pretty much acted as our own family. The fucking nigger got rid of our family doberman after I told him I'd be able to pick him up so he wouldn't have to do that (this was when I was kicked out). Last time I saw him he had the nerve to ask me if I visited my dog who he put in a doberman rescue and specifically told the owner to not let me get into contact with them or the dog. When I told him I obviously couldn't he told me "you must have not loved him as much as you tell us". I'm surprised I haven't gone postal yet to be quite honest senpai.

>Be me
>Be 14
>Dad is chief for a living
>Have barbecue for a summers evening
>Burns all the meat every single peace
>Forces us to eat it or he would probably beat up me and my mum
>Eat it with half a tub of salad cream and say it's good
>Be sick in the middle of the night

Ahh good childhood memories.

Wow auto correct is amazing.

Jesus man, that's terrible, beat the shit out of him for me the next time you see him

the thought of cheif burnsmeat forcing you to smoke the peacepipe until you got sick is hilarious

pic related, i wish

>me, 20, dating a black girl
>"come to dinner and meet my family user"
>no dad (big surprise there)
>mom fucking smoking at the dinner table
>dinner was homemade Mac and velveeta with some baked chicken quarters drowned in hot sauce
>not a vegetable as far as the eye can see
>oldest brother playing the roll of dad, talking tough and not wearing a damn shirt
>mother asks what my parents do for a living
>I say, truthfully, my mom is a college professor and my dad is a cop
>whoa the fuck! You a pig?
>we all got a narc up in here
>girl is like, naw it's cool his dads not a prick
>they start shouting at each other
>throwing shit
>mom telling her own son fuck you
>son calling his own mom a fuckin bitch
>I call uber
>excuse myself to go to the bathroom
>slip out the back door and hop in the uber
>never called her again

Fucking hell that killed me

Fuck you and your whore daughter

>Hatin' on some good ol' fashion home cookin' 'cause it ain't got avocado or kale or some other prissy-ass vegetable with it
>Not puttin' the brother in his place, thus allowin' the family to rest easy knowin' the daughter is going to be with a man who can protect her
>Not keepin' that cop shit quiet

You got a lotta learn son.

People only get attached to dogs because dogs sadly lack the awareness to realize their owner is a turbosperg virgin lord.

I like dogs too but let's at least be honest to ourselves. All these fags saying the dog dindu nuffin wouldn't say the same if it happened to them.

Not related to the food but probably when my father broke out the news that he was being prosecuted and going to be put under house arrest. He said he had failed us and broke down and started crying. It was hard to watch.

One time we all went out to a restaurant together but it was one of those chain places that doesn't have a theme it's just random shit you know. I think it was o charley's. anyway

>get to the restaurant
>weird uncle is sitting there on the bench outside with his shirt unbuttoned
>he doesn't have an undershirt on so everyone can see his hairy flabby chest
>aunt says 'hey can you button your shirt we're in public'
>he totally chimps out and starts swearing at everybody
>just sulks the entire time we're eating

Hope your daughter finds your gun and offs herself

Maybe you should take your daughter outside and put her to sleep (or put yourself to sleep for being a shit dad) for failing to meet human standards and being dominated by a creature literally lower than you in the food chain.

>You got a lotta learn son.
Only thing I learned is I prefer to enjoy the white privileged peaceful dinners of my own culture

Any dinner with my brother

I swear he's autistic, he really is
He always put's his feet up on the table and just says whatever comes to his mind

He's tried to kill himself twice now, little shit

I thought he was the coolest fella' alive until the last line. Hope he gets himself sorted.

Sometimes people do it for attention, not cause they are actually fucked in the head, I reckon the kid is probably just an attention whore

Maybe, I think he will eventually do it

Last time he hung himself and the rope snapped and someone found hiss passed out

Lol, what a retard, sounds like he needs a good ass kicking or to be put in a looney bin

Yep, I actually punched him when I found out

You and your family sound like enormous tools

My mom once made a casserole of rubbery, overcooked chicken breast, covered in a can of campbells cream of celery soup and topped with sliced hardboiled eggs. She then baked it again so that the eggs dried out and took on one of the most horrific textures and flavors I have ever experienced.