Fictional food thread?

>Sansa you had pie on your wedding night
>a cream pie Sansa
>the rape Sansa
>it was beautiful

Fictional you say? I beg to differ.

lotrscrapbook.bookloaf.net/other/recipes.html

>lotrscrapbook.bookloaf.net/other/recipes.html
Where does one obtain mallorn leaves?

So....

Exactly what did they put in the coffee in Twin Peaks?

Fish

Mcdonalds also uses this in their salad dressing.

Bruce bogtrotter's chocolate cake from matilda

...

Arya's recipe is fictional.

People did that sort of thing in the past and there's probably videos of people doing it now.

I would say "Please post", but....

I read the first two books and man does GRRM love spending paragraphs describing food.

There was a cannibal cult in Brazil around 2012 who made longpork pies and sold them as street food.

I mean... Look at the guy.

dailymail.co.uk/news/article-3125972/Face-face-cannibal-feasted-human-flesh-sold-meat-pies-interview-Brazilian-teacher-sick-Satanic-cult-wife-mistress-fed-remains-one-mother-toddler-daughter.html

Pretty much if you can imagine it, someone has done it and more than once. This is a harsh lesson the internet teaches us.

Fuck, cooking runescape food was always great because there was an actual process to it. Hell brewing booze actually took days because it had to ferment and had some great stat buffs.

Some spooky shit

I think lembas is supposed to taste unpleasent to evil creatures. This why gollum dislikes it.

>when they add the gelatine sheets to the meat pie

>Gollum thought it tasted like "dust and asheseses".
Gollum is hardly a reliable food reviewer. He hates all bread and vegetables, and prefers raw meat over cooked.

yeah, they are. i lived in england for 2 years for walk and i never saw a meat pie anywhere. not in a butcher.s not in tesco. not at a pie and mash restaurant. they don't exist

have ye popped in to greggs at all lad

no, nor sayers

sausage rolls are to notch. i love savory pastries

why not lad

Have some nostalgia

...

i'm kdiding. i ate so much of pork pie, meat pie, savoirs, pasties, etc. when i was there.

and your countrysdie is stunning

lake district, peak district snowdania. absolutly wonderful

...

ye but i was also kidding lad

Runescape foods are my jam

Hotpie talks about crushing sour cherry stones to top a pie with. I think GRRM likes to be accurate with those sorts of details but it sounds like a good way to crack your teeth.

Tell me you wouldn't eat all of this

... most of those are real, dingus

And of the fictional ones,
>harpy omelette
>minotaur tongue
>myconid
>giant scorpion
Could all be replicated with realworld animals

I was about to say the only truly impossible dish on that list is the sauteed worm, but turns out Ecuador is a monster infested hellhole to rival Australia

Shai-hulud!

sinner's sandwich

A magic Power Bar with bread that wasn't so chewy.

Gollum didn't like the sound of potatoes or cooking fish either so with Gollum it's probably just a case of bad taste buds

Yea but what did the Elven magic change molecularly in the bread? Surely it can be done with some technique without magic.

In the book it's kind of described as baklava but a flat bread and extremely calorie dense.

a gallery of RPG meals by race
imgur.com/gallery/BWnHF

Ahh classic /brit/posting

You could ask the same question for why Frodo's sword Sting glows when there are orcs nearby.
>Yea but what did the Elven magic change molecularly in the blade? Surely it can be done with some technique without magic.
It's a ridiculous question because you've already acknowledged in your post that it's magic and yet you still ask.

...

That takes me back

Alton Brown once claimed on his show Good Eats - and i'm not certain of the historicity of this - that Panforte De Siena, which these days is a pastry (of a kind, being mostly candy), was originally created as a sort of energy bar or field ration, being a cookie like pastry that was extremely calorie dense and preservable with nuts and fruits and shit for protein. I always figured Lembas is like that, a dense cookie like pastry or candy made into a flat 'bread'

Alton Brown is a tv producer not a chef.
I'd discard his opinions on culinary matters.

>There are references to the Crusaders carrying panforte, a durable confection, with them on their quests, and to the use of panforte in surviving sieges.

ayyy wikipedia backed me up

Who routinely had a nutritional anthropologist he referenced on the show

He is a chef, went to culinary school and worked in kitchens. Tbf he did it so he would be qualified to make a cooking show.

Anyone know where I can buy a bowl like that?

He probably meant crushing them to a powder.

try searching for earthenware

that's why they are crushed you dumb fuck

fuck off with oyre rebbit posts'

this is bait

I've always wanted to eat a brace of coneys.

I imagined something like MRE bread.

I wouldn't eat all of that.

I like that they tried to make it the shape of a slice of wonderbread, as though that would fool anybody.

WHAT IS IT

That's just the shape bread makes when you bake it in a pan, it has nothing to do with Wonderbread specifically.

No fucking shit, thanks for filling me in senpai.

cold hotdogs cut in half
cream cheese
white sandwich bread
Lincoln Log Sandwiches

>this is bait
Africa has an earthwork species that's about three metres long.

Here is a recipe that I found for the olive bread Arya eats when she's blind in Braavos. It's really delicious, and the website also has a recipe for the fried sardines she eats with it (which I haven't tried but it looks good).

innatthecrossroads.com/ummas-olive-loaf-2/

Hard tack but better.

I'll believe it, this shit looks calorific as all fuq.