Do hagfish actually taste good, Veeky Forums...

>crash in which a truck full of eels was involved
Oh, I was not expecting it to be real. Would have given 10/1 odds it was a movie prop.

ACT I - 10:17pm, Modern Day Osaka
>The scene opens on a bustling evening in modern day Osaka.
>Sugo Shi, formerly an investment banker, has recently been fired for loosing a major client.
>He has tried fruitlessly to find new employment
>In desperation, he settles on a janitorial position in his former company
>At 10pm Sugo Shi gets off work.
>He exits the downtown skyscraper into the night streets of Osaka, careful to avoid bumping into his former colleagues
>Too poor to visit a real bar, Sugo Shi buys a glass of beer from a nearby vending machine.
>Sugo stares into his cup as he laments his woes.
>ripple ripple ripple
>concentric ripples appear in the frothy surface of the beer
>thud thud thud
>Sugo hears a deep bass thumping noise but thinks nothing of it
>boom boom boom
>The pounding grows deafening, but Sugo is too apathetic to even turn his head.
>Crump! A giant foot smashes down, fatally pressing Sugo and his beer 3 feet into the asphalt sidewalk.
Camera pans up
>A giant woman wearing a tiny american flag bikini stands even with the Umeda Sky building
>She pauses for a moment to correct her lipstick before returning the tube to her ample cleavage

Press any key to continue

>a footfag and a giantessfag
Holy shit do you have some pleb-tier fetishes. Get better taste.

Thank you for pressing a key. Continuing.

ACT II - 10:29pm, Tokyo
>Sir!... Sir! Trouble in Kito Ward. Your presense will be required
>Prime minister Primu Ministawri brushed the sleep from his eyes
>I'm awake. He quickly rose and followed his aide to the conference room
>Ministawri's Generals gave him the imperial salute
>It was bad then. Ministawri had told them not to salute in private. If things were nominal the surely would have remembered his directive.how girls swear
>Prime Minister-San, we have a situation in Kito. The Americans have unleashed a most terrible weapon.
>Nucular then? What containment protocols do we have in place?
>No sir. I'm afraid it is far more destructive. There is an American woman on the loose. Even worse this woman is reported to be several hundred feet tall. Many lives have been lost The city is in turmoil.
>Ah, so it has come so soon. I was expecting Mr. Trumps betrayal, but not so soon. It seems he wishes to make Japan a vassal state of the Imperial States of America. Dr. Yukimori, how is out progress on project X?
>Nowhere near ready sir. I was told I would have six months on the project.
>It will have to do. Release project X

What the fuck are you doing

Just being stupid. It's leading up to something I promise.

ACT III - 11:05pm, Osaka
>Betty Busty turned around in confusion, knocking one skyscraper over with her buttocks and taking a chunk out of another with her bust as she spun. Dozens of japanese office workers fell out of the gash in the building as would beatles falling off a leaf
>Where was she? And more importantly, why were there no men around to offer her compliments? This place baffled her.
>Down below, Osaka Police Cheif Outgundu Verimachu rallied his men.
>Aim for the center of mass. Have no fear. We do this for the glory of Osaka and the Emperor. "Tennoheika Banzai!!!"
>"Tennoheika Banzai!!!" Outgundu's officers echoed.
>The aimed their weapons at the monster and opened fire.
>"Teehee" Betty opined. For some reason her breasts were feeling itchy. She licked her finger and gave them a good rub.
>"Ahhh, much better" Betty said out loud.
>Outgundu stared upward in disbelief. "Hold Fire! Hold Fire!". We need to regroup
>"Deploy the mobile flak cannons. Aim for the monster's head"
>Several 150mm WWII flak cannons had been mounted on the back of Outgundu's personal Toyotta Camry.
>It wasn't quite as good as the Ford F350 that Outgundu drove during his years as an international student in Texas, but it would do.
>Especially with the flak gun modifications, which had cost him the divorce of his wife.
>Boom, a shell flew toward the monster narrowly missing.
>Boom, another shell leapt out of the gun, traveling upward directly into the monsters face.
>Betty wrinkled her nose and frowned. She reached down for her emergency makeup kit which she kept tucked deep between her buns.
>It took a bit of jiggling to locate, but she managed to extract it with only a hint of trouble.
>She opened the mirror and exclaimed, "Damn, another zit must have popped"
>"Nothing a bit of foundation won't fix"

ACT IV - The White House
>First Imperial Donald trump gave a sigh of satisfaction.
>His advisors had warned him that forming an imperial harem would open him up to criticism from a weakened CNN.
>But Dr. Bannon's recommendations for the harem had been tremendous.
>Rosie O Donnell, Megyn Kelly, Chelsey Clinton and to top it off Ivanka Trump!
>Wow, what a treat
>Trump carefully arranged the cascades of caution orange hair emanating from his chest into his classic hairdo
>By no means a simple process, but years of experience had made the process automatic.
>He dressed into his most imperial suit and reached for his mobile phone
>Now, for the matter at hand.
>His plans had been long orchestrated and would require great care.
>Without much thought, he sent out a tweet:
>Best, most American, Ladies in the world! #trulygreat #betterthanbetty
>attached was a photo from his afternoon session

I don't like what this thread has become

Thank you for your discomfort. I usually post on r9k, so perhaps Veeky Forums is not the best board for this.

ACT V - OSAKA
>Boowhoop. Betty's iphone chimed an incoming sms
>It was Donald of course, probably a tweet
>She opened her phone
>WHAT? #betterthanbetty? She would like totally show him
>Surely one of these buildings must be trump tower
>She would tear them down one by one until Trump Tower was destroyed
>Betty removed one high heel and began swinging it wildly at buildings
>Smash Smash Smash
>The tower began to fall
>Outgundu's men were abandoning their posts
>Outgundu screamed a less than manly scream as he drove his Camry toward the creature, sending round after round out from the oversized gun
>Just as a giant pink foot was about to crush his car, the foot stopped and turned the other way.
>Outgundu looked up to see the American abomination looking toward the sea
>For the second time today, Outgundu could not believe his eyes
>A giant lizard man emerges from the sea

This one is for the user on /r9k/

ACT VI - Part I - Tokyo
>Dr Yukimori can feel blood vessels begin to pop in his brain.
>This can't be healthy, but the prime minister insisted the project must proceed
>Dr Yukimori open's his large reptilian eyes and looks out onto the coast of a burning Osaka
>It's working!
>The mind control project to control reptilian animals began last year
>After a successful test run on small geckos, a crew of Japanese Navy Imperial Submarine commandos set out to capture Godzilla
>As a reward, Ministaru-San allowed them with personal use of the emperor's own holy harem.
>Initial attempts to mind control the giant lizard had cost the lives of many experimenters, whose brains had burst from within.
>The so called Project X had been stalled for several weeks until Dr Yuimori came up with a breakthrough
>Reptiles are cold blooded animals, so the blood in the warm blooded human brain was overheating.
>By injecting cooling fluid directly into the tester's brain 20 minutes prior to mind control, the subject stood a chance at survival
>Dr Yukimori continued his advance onto the Osaka soil
>It wasn't long before he found his target, the degenerate gaijin woman, who was making quick work of another skyscraper
>Dr Yukimori leaped forward and lashed out with his tail
>The giant woman leaped back with surprising speed
>She shouted some foreign gibberish that sounded like, "Eeek, eeeww it's a lizard!"
>She hurled a construction crane at Dr Yukimori, striking his host in the chin
>Yukimori responding with a quick claw, cutting at her skin and slashing the bikini bottoms
>The woman swung a purse at his head, hitting it for a second time.
>Yukimori screamed again. Another blood vessel had popped, this time a bigger one.

ACT VI - Part II - Tokyo
>He opened his eyes and found himself back in the lab in Tokyo
>The connection must have been severed when he got hit
>He needed to get back quickly before anything happened to the Host
>Yukimori croaked out, and three research assistants came running with another shot of the mind control treatment.
>Yukimori's vision faded to black
>Back in Osaka, "heehee, you're not actually that bad looking for a lizard. I'm sorry I hit you"
>"But you hit me first. Actually, I kind of don't mind it when a man hits me, teehee"
>"At least if he's cute"
>The woman's arm was brushing at Yukimori's chest
>Yukimori felt a shifting of his scales, something was growing
>Yukomori snapped at her, pushing the woman to her knees
>"Oh lizard, I can't bare it when you do that, you are so powerful"
>Her hand reached down softly to the Reptiles undercarriage
>Yukimori tried to move but felt an overwhelming paralysis
>Was the mind control failing?
>The western monster began at a slow pace
>Building up from slower to slow, moderate to tempo
>Each stroke created a fire in Yukimori's mind
>Far below, Chief Outgundu drove his gun-car Camry toward the abominable couple
>Truly this was a kamikaze mission
>Carefully and steadily he took aim at the Reptiles sensitive region
>Pow, right in the testicle
>Three things happened at once.
>In Osaka, Godzilla let loose his load, landing directly on Chief Outgundu's Camry (OP's Pic Related)
>In Tokyo, Dr Yukimori's brain exploded, leaving goo in all corners of the lab
>In Washington, Trump received a tweet: "#nooneisbetterthanbetty", the hashtag read

EPILOGUE - Washington
>"Did you know, some reptiles can live birth their young in the male's ejaculate, skipping the incubation process altogether?"
>That's very interesting Baron. Did you remember to sabotage the cooling fluid like I asked you?
>"Yes Sire"
>"That's a good boy. Go and play with your autism spinner. Your mother and I have an invasion to execute"

FIN

Thanks for letting me hijack your thread OP.

what the hell

apparently they use the slime in rural south korea as an egg white replacement

Google sucks.

Hadn't noticed, but their patent search tool has become fucking useless. They even disabled context searching, after going to all the trouble to implement it. Now they come up with the weirdest shit results you can imagine, and when you try to drill down within a subset of the results it's almost like they intentionally screw it up to give the worst results possible. Not to mention that their interface now delays displaying individual results and sucks memory/CPU resources like a virus.

Between that and their blatant partisan censorship -- they're now deleting all videos that show Antifa attacking people -- it's almost like they're intentionally trying to destroy their company.