How are bagel bites and pizza rolls?

How are bagel bites and pizza rolls?
I used to have them all the time when I was a kid and I kinda wanna get some again.
Are they good in a junk food kind of way?

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youtube.com/watch?v=K_gRtyybBG8
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they're gross trash
a suitable snack for any proper american

Why not try them? How much could it possibly cost?

There really isn't any frozen food out there that isn't at least kind of okay. If you're picky, you might not like it, but the vast majority of it is selling because enough people do.

Well it doesn't really matter since pizza rolls were outlawed in the United States back in 2003. There was an incident in Algona, Iowa where a kid microwaved their pizza roll for 61 seconds instead of just 60 seconds, resulting in third degree burns within the mouth. It might not have been so bad a situation, but in a knee-jerk reaction after chomping into the bite-sized claymore... he inadvertently dropped the rest of the plate and resulted in an explosion that took out 3 city blocks and the local fire department which was stationed just adjacent to his home.

It took 8 days to put the flames out and cost the city over $5.9 billion dollars in damages. On day 9, Bill Clinton signed into effect an executive order that banned all pizza rolls within the continental U.S.

>continental US
Hawaiian pizza rolls are superior anyways.

They're ok. It's easier for me to overdo it on pizza rolls than bagels, though.

The great pocket fire of '03

fo real tho in taste bagel bites is 5x better than pizza rolls

I wish reditors wouldn't post here ffs. They have the worst senses of humor I've ever had the misfortune to come across

You need to cool your jimmies man. Maybe you should... you know...
huffingtonpost.com/2014/03/02/guy-had-sex-with-hot-pocket_n_4885133.html

>huffingtonpost

Just fuck off please

Where else are you supposed to read about someone sticking their dick in a hot pocket?

You're simply asking too much.

Are bagel bites better baked or cooked in the microwave?

Daily Mail

I tried them for nostalgia's sake like a year ago and they were god awful. Really rubbery/soggy. Maybe I fucked up the microwave time or they changed the recipe.

Either way if your gonna eat garbage microwavable kid food there's a lot of better stuff out there.

pizza rolls are still godly

why don't you try both and let us know

>2003
>bill clinton
foreigners fuck off

Why are you microwaving them then complaining about sogginess?

My girlfriend is a camwhore and she coughed up some semen laughing at this

carcinogenic, bland, and hot. you get what you pay for, I guess

>foreigners
If this is a Japanese owned website hosted on servers in the uk who does that make a foreigner?

I've always disliked bagel bites but supreme flavor pizza rolls are pretty tasty once in a while. Worst to best cooking method: microwave < oven < deep fryer

Made by an American

Baked but microwave isn't too bad

>server time set to US East
>official language of website is English (real English, not British or its derivatives)
>founded by an American

I checked out bagel bites again a few years ago, they were absolutely disappointing.

Pizza rolls still top notch tho

They're really bad and not filling at all. Literally kid food. Of all the kid snacks, the best one was dunkaroos. I like the birthday cake Oreos because they taste like I remember dunkaroos

Pizza rolls are pretty good. Bagel bites not as much but still not bad

I remember that.

BAGEL BITES 10/10

PIZZA ROLLS 8/10

I wish I had either so delicious but all I have is a bunch of these disgustos

Do they taste bad? Cause they really don't look bad.

Hot Pocket used to look like this

youtube.com/watch?v=K_gRtyybBG8

I don't understand. Are they better or worse now?

Worse
Crust used to be kinda crisp, kinda good

Crust now is shit, chewy, tastes bad

Why do you buy them?

bc i'm an american and i can't cook so i buy these wonderful microweavable engineered pieces of food, they taste like freedom.

They must make some frozen food that you don't hate.

My mom does I don't

im eating pizza rolls right now, they are cheap(if you span them out) fast to make but kinda suck once you get sick of them