I saw a guy eating alone this morning. The fucking queer started reading a book he brought along with him
How pathetic.
What are the rules on going out to eat alone? Are you expected to bring a book or a phone to keep your eyes on...
Brandon Murphy
Connor Wood
yes I'm sure you have that webm saved because things are going so well for you
Caleb Rodriguez
1) Make sure to dress like you're coming from work and just looking for a quick bite
2) Go during lull hours where there won't be much of a crowd
3) Request a table for 1, preemptively requesting a corner somewhere out of the way
4) Order your food as normal
5) Enjoy your meal while checking your phone every now and again to seem like you're busy
6) Avoid eye contact with any other customers
7) Pay for your meal (plus tip) and depart immediately while staring down at your phone the whole time
Parker Foster
I usually pull off my fedora and remove my l*licon manga from the brim and read that while supping.
Lincoln Martin
So lonely
Landon Murphy
I dress up in suit and tie and pretend I'm a jet setter business man. I have an app on my phone so I get a fake phone call and I pretend it's my wife, we have a small fight but come to an agreement, end the phone call with "I love you, pick me up from the airport at 7pm"
After this little show, people show respect and understanding towards me.
Gabriel Mitchell
>go to chinese buffet at 6pm
>ask to fit in a corner booth by myself
>order a beer and pot of tea
>touch neither of them
>go and grab every single piece of sweet&sour chicken on a single plate
>spend the entirety of my meal trying to look people in the eyes especially people with children
>smile and lock eyes with anyone who notices until they eventually look away
I know it's deeply unsettling to people since it's something so far out of social norms, which makes it funny.
Samuel Diaz
why would being alone make me sad. I sit and reflect on my success in ridding myself of annoying hangers-on and my independence
Isaac Scott
Kek
Easton James
When I go out to eat by myself, I buy a shitty bouquet and keep looking at the door forlornly. About halfway through the appetizer I either give the waitress the bouquet and order booze or I ask the waiter to throw the flowers away and order an extra entree.