Juicero shuts down

Bought a $400 DRM juicer?

Well, they’re shutting down. So now it’s a paperweight.

theverge.com/2017/9/1/16243356/juicero-shut-down-lay-off-refund

Other urls found in this thread:

youtube.com/watch?v=_Cp-BGQfpHQ
nytimes.com/2015/11/05/fashion/organic-avenue-close.html?_r=0
twitter.com/SFWRedditVideos

Not like it matters, you could squeeze the juice out of the bag by hand already.

lmao that's what you get for buying a shitty unitasker.
Next time get a blender like a real person.

It seems like a decent idea if it wasn't a DRM shitbox for 400 fucking buckaroos.

surprised they made it this long

You can get Chinese knockoffs for that.
They even come with open-ended bags so you can use your own fruit.

No surprise. The idea itself was retarded but with clever marketing the Juicero could have survived as a hipster status symbol.
But after all the bad press this target group was gone and the juice is simply way too expensive for regular people.

kek

Everything that is wrong with modern Silicon Valley all in one product.

Just as planned

Now that the competition is dead, Juicilicus will be able to finish development on that pine nut annealer for my J3000.

That juiser thing looks like exactly what it should have been from the start
>choice of pre-made or DIY recipes
>choice of reusable or one-time bags

>DRM
>juice
Explain.

>3 years
> $100 million
>btfo by Bloomberg
If bulletproof coffee can make it as a stsrtup Juicero shouldn't've had such a hard time

Why re-invent the wheel at all? We already have juicers that work great. It is not new technology.

That device has DRM inside. It only works with the special "juice bags" you buy from its maker. Those bags contain RFID tags which prevent the juicer from working with other brands of product or DIY alternatives.

>juicer only works with certain type of prebagged fruit/veg
>bag has unique QR code
>juicer scans QR code
>juicer won't juice if QR code is invalid or has been previously used

It was touted as the Keurig of smoothies, if that makes sense

My girlfriend got gifted a used Keurig machine. I instantly rejected it, stating we have a percolator and loads of coffee already.
Never once did I buy a kcup. I bought a reusable kcup on Amazon for $5 and you just scoop coffee into that and it's good for one cup. I still thought it was bullshit, but at least I'm not buying kcups.

It ended up being great. I can make myself a cup in the morning, the strength I like, in less than two minutes. She likes operating this machine too, so whenever I ask for a cup she is happy to oblige. I end up stealing a ton of fancy kcups from work regularly anyhow.
Overall I would say it's a good thing.

>Why re-invent the wheel at all?
The same reason you buy bread from a bakery instead of flour and yeast.

Sure, there's a labor savings between baking bread vs buying pre-made bread. But that juicer you pictured is no better than extant technology. There are no benefits like in your bread example.

Wait what, I thought it was an actual juicer. But it was just a thing that squeezed a bag? Is that for real?

>The same reason you buy a bread machine*

it was always intended to fail, it's a tax write off

I had one of these machines too. It broke down after about a year. Plus all the cleaning they require and having to scoop your own coffee into the reusable cups was such a pain and a mess. I spilt more coffee then i could get in! The cups are too expensive and the coffee was too weak. Its not a machine for the coffee lover.

Yeah bruh I sure love getting up at 4am

Bag juicers are a thing. The technology is old as fuck.

How do you think people made juice before electric appliances? Put fruit in a cloth sack. Stick in a press. Smash the fuck out of it.

No, but I mean it seems the bags they sold were pre-made, with the juice already liquid in it. Like, it was just a device that pressed a bag of liquid juice for you, not even a juicer.

Supposedly the bags contain fruit sealed inside rather than just juice. But I'm not exactly sure.

How many sales could they have possibly gotten?

Agreed. I am not a coffee lover by any means. My coffee is actually two cups, very strong with 4 splenda, no dairy. I drink it for the slight buzz I get and mainly to kickstart my nootropic.

They contain masticated fruit and vegetables. They're sufficiently beaten up that you can squeeze juice out of the bag with your hands

An embarrassingly high number

What's the advantage of that over buying a bottle/can of juice?

you'll feel obligated to get your value out of your shitty juicer so you'll drink healthy juice consistently

Man that's smart, no wonder those silicon valley dudes make the big bucks.

At least with a Keurig you can put whatever coffee you want in it as long as you buy the refillable plastic kcup bullshit

it matters because now you can't even get the bags of juice.

>Overall I would say it's a good thing.

The environmental clusterfuck from people throwing those plastic k-cups in the trash is not overall a good thing.

or you could just get a normal coffee machine with a timer built in
put your shit in at night, set time for it to go off
it will be ready when you wake up

But then how will I get juice now?!

>Implying the environment is real.

Juicer by the (((juice)))

>never cared about this
>still don't care about this
It's not like the adverts for that product were ever misleading. People just really wanted to pay top dollar for a bag squeezer.

brb guys I'm going to design a DRM almond activator

It's going to have DRM water and DRM almonds.

Not only that but most recycling centers won't even attempt to recycle them. They're a huge waste

Not anymore. My fiance has one of the newer ones and it can only use official k cups. Cucked again,

>has to connect to the internet, authenticate your password, and check to see if you are paid up to date before turning on the low powered motor that squeezes out the fruit juice from Ecuador

I guess you haven't heard of the tovala yet. It's basically an easy-bake oven for adults with a smart phone app.

They'll accept the individual components (plastic cup, metal foil[coffee goes in the compost obviously]) but there's no machine to separate them automatically and like hell if anyone bothers to separate them at home or work.

How do I invest in this brilliant idea?

You need to be Jewish

Are we still getting this at least?

>tiny laser-etched QR codes on each almond
FUND IT

>oh no i can't buy my $10 bags of juice to squeeze to make juice

Now you'll have to go back to the old way of juicing!

...

Isn't that basically a Replicator? Or does it not print molecule by molecule?

It's an automated piping bag that shits out dough and chocolate.

So, you do exactly the same thing that "hackers" did with the Keurig DRM -- you cut out the RFID tag or bar code (whichever it is) and you stick it in front of the sensor with some tape.

Voila, DRM-free instant-coffee maker and juice dispenser.

Is that the "2.0" machine with the bar code scanner inside? You just cut off the bar code from a "genuine" K-cup and tape it in front of the scanner. Voila, no more DRM.

If they've come out with a newer generation machine that doesn't work that way, then she's SOL.

Someone link the AvE vidjeyo talking about this thing. Skookem as fuck.

>juicer won't juice if QR code is invalid or has been previously used
what part of reading comprehension don't you understand
it's always-online DRM and it refuses to work if offline.
Once the ID of a bag has been used anywhere, it's unusable anywhere else. It's HMAC'ed too and they're truly unique. This isn't like the Keurig - This is DRM done "right".

>HMAC'd basically-/dev/urandom QR codes as DRM
Time to ban "intellectual" property.

Nathan Myrhvold is that you?

there's nothing QR about it, it's RFID/"NFC". I had a go at dumping the bags and they're just MIFARE PLUS tags but they're unique, not just the (N)UID bytes. They have on-block storage encrypted as well as the tag implemented crypto. It's basically easier to just hook into the machine and have the RFID reader reply "yes" for every scan.
No, I'm a scandinavian security engineering student.

hmm, what could i say to you to help you through this difficult moment in your life, where you made a decision and are now dealing with its consequences...?

its incredibly overengineered. check out the vids on its interior by a guy with tools to open it. its crazy tight inside, all milspec millwork and molding. like how a hemoglobin molecule cradles a teensy weensy O2 molecule.

the contents were partially broken down, so that all you needed to do is press it and the liquid came out. and remember: juice is the liquid elements AND the sugar, minus the fiber and any other nutrients retained in the pulp. so really no good for you at all. juice is always inferior to the whole food. what you want is a Champion juicer that just pulverizes it whole, creating more of a paste or thick liquid.

and still, all it does is squeeze a bag.

...

couldn't you literally just squeeze the bag yourself without a machine?

I think the bags contain cut of fruit/vegetables rather than just actual juice. It's still a stupid concept.

...

Reminder than Juicero now hold the patent on juice and it is illegal to sell or make juice in the Continental United States without leasing the technology from them.

Silicone Valley can't design anything. Stupid fucks know nothing about manufacturing.

hahahah nice cute elephant hahaha

someone linked me this vid a few weeks ago, i think it was on /v/.
it's long, but it got me hooked on this dude's videos and is a good look at how over-engineered this thing really is.
anyway
youtube.com/watch?v=_Cp-BGQfpHQ

people have squeezed the bags at home successfully.

Market it as brain food

Will they keep the servers running until all existing bags of juice expire or are some poor souls going to be left with bricked juice bags?

the bags expire within one week of arrival m8

>(((scandinavian))) (((security engineering))) (((student))).

nice try

or you could just a fucking french press

i tried a keurig with a reusable cup and it was a horrible experience

i also have used a tassimo and a $500 breville auto drip / grinder machine

they are all fucking stupid and pointless. i use the brevilles built in grinder and then remove the ground coffee and dump that in my french press. all you need is a good grinder and quality press. everything else is bullshit.

>Yo, Engineers make us a juice machine
>What's the budget?
>As much as you need

I like how it even has a meanwell driver.

His old juice store chain shut down in 2015:

nytimes.com/2015/11/05/fashion/organic-avenue-close.html?_r=0

But what if the bags expire and the juice squeezer can't access the servers that tell it whether the week is up?

Do you think the people who can afford to pay $1200 a year for juice are ever more than 2 minutes from a wifi signal?

Can't disagree with that.

A Wi-Fi signal does no good if your juicer gets a 404 error. In that situation will the juicer refuse to squeeze or will it default to squeezing icky juice?

>bricked juice bags
capitalism was a mistake

Link to vid?

It's full of DRM to stop people from pressing regular fruits, what do you think?

>Link to vid
Already in this thread
youtube.com/watch?v=_Cp-BGQfpHQ

PIRATES BTFO!!!

If it can't access the server, you won't get any juice. It's that simple, sadly.

But you can do so much more with a keurig than coffee. Tea, oatmeal, ramen, instant rice, hot chocolate. I can make my morning coffee and oatmeal from the same machine in less time whenever I please and don't need to let a coffee pot dictate my schedule.

I also have one of the new ones, it came with a reusable cup that I use all the time.

kek

who would be stupid enough to buy this in the first place?

I'm thinking the target market would need to be:
a) rich enough to afford the insane price
b) a tech geek who loves introducing computers where they don't belong
c) a health nut and/or pretentious foodie
d) has a disconnect with extant cooking processes. Has probably never sliced a vegetable in his life. Has never broken down a chicken. Has never once visited a farm, planted a garden, or picked a fresh veggie. Is most likely a big-city dweller who has never known life outside a small apartment.

Pretty small market segment if you ask me.

I'm a hard light hologram though!