Coffee shop tells me I can't have cream unless I buy a coffee

Just walk in like you're in a hurry and slightly annoyed and say you're girlfriend/boyfriend got a few coffees but you forgot cream.

>not taking cream with your complimentary water

Guess OP and I are the only smart ones in the thread.

Oh yes, just mention your genderfluid girlfriend/boyfriend and they'll shut up, for fear of getting sued for hatespeech. the puurfect crime.

I just laughed audibly.
"Oh sorry, but xir forgot to get some cream for us". It's a coffee shop, they'll know what you're talking about.

You can walk into starbucks and ask for a cup of water and drink the water and then pour yourself the entire jar of whole milk from their condiment bar into your cup and walk out.

They're not gonna stop you, and you need the calories, right?

I don't need a whole cup I only need enough for my tea.

You're not a homeless?
What the fuck are you doing begging for milk?

I need cream for my tea.

tea shouldn't take cream

You brought tea to a coffee shop with the expectation that they would give you free cream to put in it?