Red pill me on Italian food. It seems like no matter what the dish is, Italians say it isn't "authentic enough"...

Red pill me on Italian food. It seems like no matter what the dish is, Italians say it isn't "authentic enough". Show me authentic recipes or at least photos of "real" Italian food. Because I'm starting to think you're full of shit.

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Italians are the most pretentious cooks out there despite them only being able to cook Italian food. Don't bother, just cook what you like and what tastes good

Italian is highly regional; and very snobby because everything is based on their family and their town.

Italian outside the country usually got adapted due to local ingredients.

Real authentic Italian food is done without a recipe user. It's by feel and by your soul.

You wouldn;t understand.

lol

>It seems like no matter what the dish is, Italians say it isn't "authentic enough"
Are you a flyover? Are the exotic olive-skinned eye-talians the most foreign people you've encountered? People do this for fucking everything. No BBQ is ever good enough for a Texan/Carolinia/whatever. No Nanaimo bar is ever good enough for a Canadian. No deep fried fish with vinegar poured over it is ever good enough for a bong. No fried dog snouts are ever good enough for a Chinaman. No vodka is every good enough for a slav. No Australian toaster biscuit is ever good enough for an emu fucker

If anyone is "from" some place, and you serve them a thing from that place, and they say it's good, it's not because it's good. It's because it was so hopelessly bad, in their eyes, that they've decided it's better just to get out of the situation as quickly as possible by saying it's good so you'll leave them alone.

Except most of the other foods you mentioned have metrics they base their conclusions on. Whereas every Italian I've come across has pretentious or nonsensical reasons why dishes are not authentic.

Which is why I asked the question. No ones replied with an "Authentic Recipe" or even a photo yet...

if you don't say 'justa howa mama useta make!' then it isn't authentic italian. sorry.

Did you expect people to find this clever?

>reasons I don't understand are pretentious and nonsensical
Confirmed for flyover

I live in Seattle.

I flew over Seattle on the way to Asia several times

>No Australian toaster biscuit is ever good enough for an emu fucker

Holy shit you cheeky nob head, take that back.

Man you're a bit of a cunt

Ok, so I live in a flyover. Whats your Authentic Italian recipe?

>no vodka is every good enough for a slav
Not true, slavs will drink anything if you tell them it has a high alcohol percentage.

Authentic is overrated for pretty much anything.

I wouldn't dare suggest one because I am not eye-talian. Last night I had saffron malloreddit with fresh ricotta, brown butter, and mushrooms. But I am sure it is not authentic

Italian food isn't even that great
its just a meme that everybody fell for
cause there's just a bunch of italian who said it was good and everybody bought it
kinda like whats currently happening with mexican food.

Authentic bolognese is pretty good. It's not necessarily better than the ordinary tomato/meat sauce that a lot of people call bolognese, but it's definitely worth trying.

agreed

Maybe, but I do love myself some pizza.

Preferably with pineapple.

Nice bait, mate.
>pasta
>bread
>garlic
>tomatoes
>beef, veal, pork
>basil, oregano
>wine
>olive oil
Yeah, those damn Eye-talyans really missed the boat culinarily.

As an italian, the dishes from JoJo's cooked by Tonio Trussardi are pretty authentical if you want to have an idea.
Food in Italy is HIGHLY regional. We have 20 regions in this skit of a country and every single one of them has a different culinary culture. Not only that, dishes varie wildly even between regions, even from town to town.

Just so you know, concepts like spaghetti and meatball or pineapple pizza are completely alien to most italians.
People would never even think about putting pineapple on pizza, because it's so inherently wrong that it's simply not an option. Like putting gummy bears on a burger. A lot of people actually laugh at the americans that ask for this kind of stuff.

Yes, fucktard, every cooking culture does this, but Italians do this 10000x more often and 10000000x worse

This guy.

Question, how can Italians claim their recipes are authentic when tomatoes were non-indigenous to Italy?

t. has never gone out to eat with Chinese, Mexicans, French, Indians... seriously do you actually have any friends who aren't descended from 19th century potato blight refugees?

Tomatoes aren't as heavily used in Italy as you think. They're popular, sure, but the way you hear Americans talk you'd think every single meal was just tomato soup with wood pulp grated on top

>Are you a flyover?
Confirmed for flyover

What does that have to do with anything? I grew up in Ohio. My best friend was Italian. His parents and grandparents all spoke Italian in the home. Thankfully, they had enough respect to only speak English outside their home, unlike the filthy fucking beaners that are currently invading, but that's another story.

His father did all the cooking. Had a vegetable garden out back. The food was simple, rustic and absolutely outstanding. Did I eat authentic Italian food, you pedantic faggot? Did I?

I lost touch with my friend decades ago, but he, his brother and I think a cousin own several restaurants now.

Italians are fags. Sicilians are considerably nicer and have better food. And if you happen to tune a recipe to your tastes/what's readily available/etc they aren't going to send the mob after you.

>onions
>garlic
>cilantro
>limes
>rice
>pork
>beef
>chicken
>cheese
>sour cream
>flour

How can Mexico even claim to have a cuisine?

I lived in Ohio for a while. The locals literally believe Fazolis is good

>my friends are twats so yours must be too

>so yours must be too
What is the point of this thread, if it is not op complaining that his friends made him feel uncultured?

Carbonara with guanciale and pecorino romano, no cream in the sauce.
No Italian would be able to deny that this is authentic.

I'm sorry you have douchebags for friends.

It's just bantz m8. I do it to them when it's my people's food and their choice of restaurant. I'm sorry you have no culture and your friends are all whitebreads :(

Genuinely curious, what are some good Italian dishes that don't use tomatoes? Scampi? Cutlets?

>Italian food
As in 4 of the same spices with some different shaped pasta and tomatoes.

Jewish artichokes

Carbonara, hare/duck spaghetti, all kinds of risotto, all kinds of pies, cakes, cookies and anything sweet really, most torte salate, almost all kinds of meat like arrosti or spezzatini, and holy shit the list goes on and on man

Get the unlimited soup, salad and bread sticks.

Carbonara, alfredo, cacio e pepe, pesto? Just olive oil and butter with cheese and seasonings to your taste is normal pasta sauce.

there are non-tomato sauce based pizzas, just to state the most obvious

I'm sorry that you and all your friends are pricks.

I'm not Italian, but I've studied Italian history and language, and been to Italy numerous times, and this is basically the reason right here. Every region of Italy has a different food culture, and even dishes that are familiar throughout the country vary from region to region, and every region thinks they are the best at each dish as well. Italians take a lot of pride in their culinary traditions, going way back to when each region was it's own city-state, and older. If you want to have a discussion about "authentic" Italian food, you have to pick what region of Italy, because none are going to be exactly the same.

Man I dropped the ball on that one. And all these dishes use ingredients only native to Italy?

I lived in Missouri for a while in the mid nineties and can confirm, the locals were all about fazolis

I don't know from where all the ingredients are from, but we've been using them for centuries so they became part of our culture. Just as an example, I hail from Vicenza, in Veneto (same region as Venice). In Vicenza we have one of our typical dish being baccalĂ  alla vicentina, wich is a special way to cook nordic codfish. Codfish is not something we have here, It comes from Norway, we don't even have the fucking sea at Vicenza, but we've been using it for centuries and you can only eat this kind of codfish here.

Retard.

food in Italy is god-tier with exception of business hotel food. Italy is about 3h by car from here, but anything near to it is very rare.
don't believe it? fuck off, have not been to .it

...

pasta, pizza, olives, cured meats, tiramisu, risotto, peroni

peroni is in a league of its own

I asked a guy working the front desk of a hotel in Siena where I could get some authentic Italian food and he got all pissy "NOT ITALIAN YOU IN SIENA YOU EAT SIENNA FOOD" like chill nigga damn

>No BBQ is ever good enough for a Texan/Carolinia/whatever
This is true.
>t. North Carolinian

You fell for the "almost all the Italians who immigrated to my country are from southern Italy where they use a lot of tomatoes therefore all Italians use a lot of tomatoes" meme

The northerners are known for white stuff

...

>pretending to have contrarian opinions for (you)s

moretti is better

When it comes to cooking, the only thing two Italians can agree upon is that the 3rd Italian is doing it wrong.

I just eat whole wheat pasta with butter. sometimes with whole foods tomato sauce and homemade meatballs. Also whole foods has a lot of good frozen pizzas

Yes, as in Moretti is barely drinkable. Peroni is absolutely foul - it's skunky like Eastern European pil

>watch italian recipe online
>get told to use these VERY specific ingredients in very specific amounts, else it's not "authentic italian"
>visit italian grandparents
>cooking the same thing I did beforehand
>they just make do with whatever ingredients they have on hand in unmeasured quantities

I still enjoy italian food a lot (pizza, any pasta, lasagna, tiramisu) but I can't say I'm a fan of the "culture" surrounding it.

morreti is pure dirt.
i got tricked by a waitress ina resturant into having moretti it was terrible
peroni is crisp and refreshing, it is clear as a summers day in Sicily

...

>dad works in company that designs, builds and installs machines that label and package wood
>dad has to work with italians sometimes
>dads company built and installed one machine, while an italian company built and installed another machine which came afterwards in the packaging process
>italians come over to my dad, waving their hands around like they are swatting at flies and claims my dads machine is fucking up the machine
>they don't even question their own machine, instantly blames it on dad and tell him to fix it
>dad calmly and humbly does a test run and send a few planks into the packaging machines
>the planks are perfectly fine when they exit my dads machine, and as they enter the italian machine, they exit completely broken
>italians are now shouting at each other and waving their hands around

From Italy here.
There is no "authentic Italian cuisine" because there's no single, unified Italian dish but dozens of regional variants with each claiming their version is older and therefore correct.

Whenever I give Italian recipes on Veeky Forums, I always preface it with "it differs for every region, but here's how we do it in mine." Invariably, Ameritalians who've never been to Italy, can't speak Italian and don't know anything about our culture that wasn't carried over to New Jersey 50 years ago by their goat-fucking grandparents, will flip shit about the recipe being 'wrong' or something.

This. So. Much. This.

I've been to Italy, and the cuisine just doesn't do it for me. Too bland, too carb-heavy.

Also, Oregano is a shit-tier spice and I have no idea why it's used in so many things. I just replace it with marjoram when a recipe calls for it.

>Italians.
HEY IM WALKING HERE.

Brings to mind an interview with Umberto Eco, the Italian author, where he describes conversing with a Pakistani taxi driver in New York. After vaguely comprehending where Italy is located, the taxi driver asks Eco eagerly, "Who is your enemy? Who is the enemy of your people?". Eco at first has no answer, and relays how the taxi driver emasculates him with a single look. Reminiscing, Eco answers that the Itlaian people have historically fought amongst themselves, region by region. The taxi driver doesn't speak to him for the rest of the drive.

Italy as a country hasn't been around that long, so they are authentic to Italy. Just not to the kingdoms that existed there a few hundred years ago.

Italians are full of superstitions around their (pretty basic) recipes. Just as anal as japanese about raw fish and white rice.

>HEY IM WALKING HERE
That was Jew.

To be quite honest, I would say that I've never seen any "authentic" restaurant of any type anywhere.
Sometimes some authentic items, yeah it happens. But believe me, the average Joe doesn't want to go for anything authentic. He's just happy with what we serve him, whether is Italian with tomato sauce and meatballs or Chinese with lemon chicken.

Japanese aren't that anal about sushi besides Jiro

But those are ingredients, not recipes

Why the fuck would I associate with degenerate shitskin subhumans?

You're right, you never will because the shitskins have too much self respect to be seen within 10 feet of you.

Where is that "self respect", is it on the same street they shit in?

Authentic Italian food:
>pasta with olive oil and grated cheese
>sliced tomatoes and mozzarella with basil leaves
>cornmeal porridge and a fried sausage

Non-authentic Italian food:
>anything a mongoloid couldn't cook

There are few things in this world more overrated than Italian cooking.

OP here. That's not the case. I'm not hurt, I'm genuinely asking. I know every culture has its own pride in their food. I was asking, can someone explain what an authentic Italian meal is to me? No one has been able to do it yet, they just say "x" meal is not the "real" thing.

Wheres the best place to get BBQ in N Carolina?

Al Pacinos a jew?

For the most part, Sushi chefs can agree on what makes sushi good. That is what I don't hear from Italians.

I saw a movie yesterday and it made me want some italian.
I have pasta specifically farfalle and angel hair, butter, garlic, pasta sauce, oil, and cheese and herbs. What should I make? I kinda don't want anything with the pasta sauce, but I would like the pasta to be creamy and saucy. Shame I don't have any heavy cream, it would have been perfect.

I figured I shouldn't make a new thread for this

Dustin Hoffman sure as hell is....

pls ck i am so hungry

youtube.com/watch?v=bJUiWdM__Qw

My issue with Italian cooking is that 90% of it is based around doughy, fattening, carb-packed pasta.

I'd rather eat BBQ and wings and shit I can stuff my face with for my muscles instead of fatty carbs. Italian is great but it just feels unhealthy to me.

Really not sure why you fags have such a problem with this. Skipping the details in any culinary endeavour is a really retarded idea nevermind whatever preconceived notions you have about Italian pretense.

Let's get a drink, I'm in Wedgwood.

>a bunch of greasy meat is healthier than some complex carbs

Pasta is not only healthier for your heart but all those carbs let you do more cardio so really its twice as healthier for your heart. Not to mention BBQ is generally slathered in sugary sauce.

'Talian here...family is from the North though. Americanized Italian cuisine has adopted the Southern style, which is what you're referring to. Our family meals usually had a chicken or veal with tons of vegetable sides. Roasted red peppers, steamed artichoke, grilled asparagus, so on.

Pizza was NEVER a meal. Always an appetizer; thin dough, square cut, just tomato sauce, cheese and seasonings. Don't get me wrong; we had pasta and conventional stuff too, but it was never "pasta wit dem meats and cheeses" meals that you see represented in America.

Also--insane soups! These things go ignored, so I feel the for the fellow 'Talians who grew up eating so much more than "pasta with meats"...

This. Sicilians are pretty cool. fuck those mainland faggots and their food snobbism. i had a guy at a local italian restaurant freak out because i order cheese on some pasta dish i ordered. motherfucker went full retard on me...."no no no ...no cheese on this authentic italian dish...you crazy...our tradition"...you opened a restuarant in Belgium you retard. hand me my cheese or get the fuck back to Napoli. never ever encountered this kind of shit with other cultures.

It cant be authentic unless its made by a grandma from the old country

naturally there are a lot of other problems with "other" cultures around here (fuck muslims)...but never about food.

My mom is Italian and this is her too. Actual Italians don't have anything to prove about their day to day cooking. The flavor of the food is all intuition