Have mustache and goatee

>have mustache and goatee
>like over easy eggs
how do i cope with the pain, Veeky Forums?
bathing isn't an option

shave your disgusting facial hair.

Trim your shit nigga

Don't smash them between two pieces of bread aka a "sandwich"

Eat them with a fucking fork, and use the bread to soak up the yolk

Simple

Or just eat it with a fork as an open faced "sandwich"

>bathing isn't an option

>how do i cope with the pain, Veeky Forums?

stop putting over easy eggs on your sandwiches, dumbass. I have a full beard and I still eat over easy eggs. I just eat them with a knife & fork like a civilized human. I dip my toast, potatoes, or whatever I'm having with the eggs into the runny yolk, but I make sure to never try eating runny eggs on a sandwich because:

1) that's disgusting, regardless of having facial hair. Seriously, why would I want my hands AND face to be coated with warm, viscous fluid while I'm eating?

2) As I said above, I'm a civilized person that eats my meals with utensils. How is this so hard to understand?

Shave your facial hair you degenerate.

Wetnaps. You can easily buy them in bulk, and keep one in your pocket or wallet. If you're at home, just use a damp napkin or paper towel.

study how jack takes his bites

Is that is that difficult to not end up covered in food after eating?

probably means in the middle of the day or some shit, we can't just run home on our lunch break to shower

Have you never heard of napkins?

holy moses, this might just be a game changer
thanks

>all the lowtest beardless fags ITT

Iktf OP, the trick is to suck the yoke out before biting and keep the toast soft.

lean forward over your plate instead of backwards with your belly as your plate you fat cunt

Are you retarded?

Wash your face over a sink?

Yoke hardens fast.

With mango and burritos, yes. arguably watermelon, too. when eating either of those its important that you've no fucks to give

napkins

Wet Naps, preferably in the style restaurants give you when you order ribs. Alternatively, you can dip your napkin in a glass of water and scrub your mustache.

>Eating a sandwich with utensils
Nu-males
He also can't wash his face by the sink
So how do you wash your face if you can't even clean up yoke

The only people that have beards are men with weak jaw lines.

We know you're trying to hide it.

Facial hair is literally the mark of a numale. What rock have you been living under?

>literally the mark of a numale
Opinion discarded.

>Wow what a weak jawline Mr Cavill. We know your hiding it.
I feel your belief might stem from some form of insecurity. Can you even grow a beard?
>Facial hair is literally the mark of a numale.
They said the same a century ago about peoples clean cuts. They removed identity and brought in uniformity. Of cause the plebs conform.

>have hair on par with my mouth length
>whenever it dips into my eggs or get yolk on it I just clean it up

Holy shit, just groom yourself and stop being such a fucking panzy fuck.

member when beards used to be a masculine thing?

learn how to eat with utensils properly like an actual human

>how do i cope with the pain, Veeky Forums?
You seriously came here to post this thread? You don't want a solution, you just want someone to mop up your pussy blood.

>shave
>eat different food
>stop eating like a fucking pig

There you go, get cucked.

>Have mustache and goatee
>Eat with utensils like a normal fucking person learns at age five

A blender and a high gauge straw.

Is this bait, or are you so young that you just managed to grow some hair on your face? Don't eat like a pig, use a napkin when you eat, wash your face and hands when you're done, even if all you can get is a wet towel or napkin. What do you want here, a congratulations on being an adult man? A pity party like teenage girls talking about periods? Shave or deal with it.

I eat the whites around the yolk first and then eat the yolk in one bite with zero spillage.

>age five
Was the retard you or your son?

you mean low gauge you retarded fuck

>What do you want here
you's
it was a success

Just let those ball buffers work and rub it off on him.