Drinking coffee

>drinking coffee
>immediately want to poo

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I only drink decaf cold Brew now because of this. It tastes better anyway

that's the fucking point user

most coffee tastes like shit or is too expensive, why the fuck else do you think people buy it?

and better yet you can avoid the caffeinated jew by doing what does

>drinking tea
>immediately feel comfy and warm

This. Even better with butter or cream

>drink coffee or tea
>get more thirsty

Caffeine has nothing to do with why coffee makes you shit. Caffeine is actually a diuretic and causes constipation due to excessive urination. Idiots.

livescience.com/45465-why-does-coffee-make-you-poop.html

See
Caffeine is a diuretic and causes dehydration.

>drinking coffee
>want to poo even though it's not done brewing yet

Fuck off jew

>DON'T PROVE ME WRONG REEEEEE

Precious.

one time I bought very cheap grean tea, and after a couple of days of drinking it I got diarrhea that lasted for weeks
not good times, made me appreciate my solit poop

Oh look it's le ebin Reddit science man here to save the day and educate everyone! Blog post source and everything!

Look kid, some people have fucked digestive systems (ibs or ibd) and their insides react to all sorts of weird things, caffeine being a common one. This can cause an urge to poo, believe it or not.

Caffeine doesn't promote peristaltic movement though, so... you're memeing in vain friend-o. On the plus side it's impressive to reject factual biological science/fact in favor of screeching autistically about reddit.

:^)

ahh ah ahh, no pooing until you finish that cup of joe

Exactly, I’ll take the solid shits of coffee over the feminine diarrhea of a fucking tea anyway.

Congrats, you just proved you can't read. I didn't say caffeine was the direct cause of diarrhea, just that it can agitate an already fucked digestive system and exacerbate the problem. I know this because I shit 5 to 6 times a day on average, when I drink coffee it's usually more than that.

>I shit 5 to 6 times a day on average, when I drink coffee it's usually more than that.
mein gott!

I didn't mention diarrhea. Way to shift those goal posts after being proven wrong. If you can't even digest food correctly you should swan dive off the nearest overpass into oncoming traffic.

>drinking hot cocoa
>immediately get childhood flashbacks

I wasn't about sure about coffee being a diuretic until this. Cool

>drinking blood of my enemies
>immediately get their wisdom and fighting skills

>Take a 200mg caffeine pill
>Instant pop
What were you saying again?

just don't kill any down syndrome guys when you do this... I made that mistake once

>butter
????

>he doesn't know

>get up
>piss
>shit
>shower
>brush teeth
>piss myself while brushing teeth
What is this shit? Why? There is no water running, I just stand in front of the sink and I pretty much lose control of my bladder. What is this sorcery? I have no problems otherwise.

Do you shart in the mart as well?

wat. you gotta get that shit checked mate

Post feet if grll

Sounds like floppy bladder. I've seen this before.

You should consider a prostate exam, manchego.

But it only happens in the morning and only if I stand in front of the sink. I have no problems with my bladder otherwise.
It's the sinks fault, not mine.

when you piss (the first time), do you piss in the sink?

>instant pop

What popped?