Worst injuries while cooking?

I cut my middle finger to the bone when I wiped my knife clean with a tea towel while drunk..

Never pry apart frozen sausage patties with a large knife or any knife besides that used for butter.

I cooked bacon while drunk and poured molten bacon grease on my fingers and melted the skin off two of them.
the skin eventually grew back and you can't even tell anymore.

I slit my wrist open with a box cutter on memorial day weekend, on my third day of work at a grocery store. That was before I knew how to cook. Never hurt at all because the blade was sharp.

Havent cut myself in the kitchen, just harsh burns from the heated metal pulling shit out of the broiler.

reminds me of the shredded hand that got eaten in a grinder

I cut off my hand trying to cut an onion once.

Really don't have many aside from a couple of small cuts on fingers. The most noteworthy one was cleaning metal tongs and the lock got jamped beneath bottom screw and trying to wrench it past I somehow managed to jam the teeth of the tongues into my thumb. Really large and messy cut from a pretty blunt edge. Stung like hell.

I steamed my first finger the other day pouring out a large pot of water for pasta into a strainer I was also holding. Felt like I accidentally poured water onto my hand but it was the steam coming up. Managed to hold on to pot and strainer. Thought I got by without blistering but there wa minor blistering the next day. But the pain wouldn’t subside and kept me awake when I tried to go to bed. Indirect ice helped but wasn’t a good solution for bed. So I rubbed honey on it and put on a disposable glove. That worked.

I spent a few months cooking for a restaurant. Managed to cut myself with :
Veggie peelers
Can lids
At least 5 different knives
A cardboard file holder

Got some burn marks too, mainly from oven grease that dripped from the oven's resistance. Small 3rd degree burns because it sticks to your skin.

I've done some real stupid shit before

>lets smell the soup to see how the spices are
>crack open lid and lean in for a smell as hot stream comes rushing out

I didn't burn my face but my nose was sore inside like a had a cold coming on or something for a while

That's why you waft it towards you, user.

I have yet to recieve any kitchen related injuries, but i was witness to a pretty nasty accident once.

>be me
>playing vidya in room
>hear dad yell my name from other side of house
>sounds angry
>whatnow.jpg
>slowly walk at first but hear name again
>dad sounds angry and worried
>go to kitchen
>mom is holding right hand and is missing 3 fingers
>Dad is applying pressure to wrist
>"user, get the keys and take us to the hospital!"
>we get there and fingers are reattached
>ask mom what happened
>"I was making healthy vegi smoothies and a piece of celery wouldn't blend so i pushed it toward the blades without turning off the blender"
>mfw

I cut my hand brushing against my knife after opening a coconut with it (the correct way, don't get triggered). I just forgot I set it there and I got a small, but really bloody cut.

I also burn the shit out of myself every other time I bake bread, and I get lots of small grease burns and such at my fast food job.

Not while cooking per se, but when someone stacked some shit next to the sink, a piece of a equipment started falling. By the graces of my super duper reflexes, I caught the fucking lettuce slicer inside my hand.

I was a prep cook in a scratch kitchen for a couple years, so various missing finger tips/ nails knuckles Rex. Nothing crazy. Worst part is throwing away a cutting board full of 20 minutes of work because you cut a tip of a fingernail and alittle bit of your finger tip off. Any blood or pieces come off and the whole mess goes in the trash. Worst was cooking at home drunk. Knives are all super sharp. Layed my finger open when an onion rolled over once. That was pretty shitty. Worst was actually saunteeing chicken for stir fry. Super hot, lots of oil. I stepped back in a bit of a stumble when I was flipping shit in the front of the pan, sautéed style with no tools. I was shirtless and a tablespoon or so of smoking oil landed on my stmach and settled along the elastic of my boxers. Had a scar for a long time but after a few years it went away.

I severed a tendon in my pinky. Still recovering.

I burned the back of my hand on the top coils of a toaster oven when I was little.

i cut my finger. wasn't too bad, but it made me so upset that I passed out, which has never happened before. I was in the bathroom and then woke up on the floor.

i accidentally put myself in the oven

i was warming up a pizza in the microwave and i hit the plate in the microwave too loud and my dad ran in and beat the shit out of me with the meat tenderizer.

dropped a knife once and it went through my foot, wouldn't recommend

Dude, I just got small cut on my left ring finger. It wasnt bad, but it is bleeding quite a bit. It is even more annoying because I am a guitar player and i cant play well with a band aid there.

I was more careful when I started cooking. I guess I've become overconfident on my abilities.

I'm the kitchen lead at a small restaurant. The owners hired some crazy hippie chick that cut off the tip of her finger in the first hour of her first shift.

Unrelated but humorous, she was on the run from the cops and had to flee to Seattle a week later.

Slightly drunk and making pancakes.
Tried to airflip one and it landed on my shirtless belly.
Apart from that just the usual fingercuts and underarm burns from the oven.

I cut through my fingernail and a lot of my finger while cutting bacon last year. The pic is hella blurry but it extends from black arrow to black arrow.

I was pretty scared it was gonna kill the nail and it wouldn't grow back. Turned out the nail didn't even fall off like everyone said it would. I had to deal with catching that shit on EVERYTHING for like 5 months until it grew out to the point where I could just bite it off.

>Wasn't thinking and tried to take a casserole dish out of the oven with my bare hands
>Lifted a tight lid off of a vigorous boiling pot angled toward me and got steams burns on my arm

Oh and I also witnessed a pretty bad accident.

We make pulled pork by smoking the butts for 8 hours and slow cooking it in mop sauce for another 8. So after they're done they're in deep hotels pans full of boiling grease and mop sauce. We put them in our walk in on racks, the bottom rungs only because it's safe. Well i was teaching a new guy how to do it, and I had cleared the necessary space on the rack before hand. I told him to put them in the walk in. I check on him a minute later and he moved everything else down and was putting the boiling hotel pans on the top rung. Like 7 feet in the air.

I go "Whoa, dude we put them on the bottom rung because it's safest." And he goes "now you tell me." and HE FUCKING TAKES THEM DOWN. I go "NO" as he picks one up and pours boiling grease all over his forearm and stomach.

He gritted his teeth and took it well. So well that we actually thought he was ok. Looked at the burns and it was a little red. Didn't seem that bad. Asked if he needed me to finish his shift, he declined. Next day he goes to the hospital, and shows up for work covered in bandages. He blamed me for months. The retard.

Chicken Fat sloshed onto my hand while saute-ing shit at work. we used to roast half chickens in a charcoal burning cast iron oven. Shit was intense it would get up to like 900 degrees.

>be 6
>mom is slow cooking chicken and dumplings in the crock pot
>come home
>smell something good
>too short to see inside
>try to pick it up and look
>it's too heavy, I end up pouring it all over my chest and forearms
>scream, loud
>crock pot is too heavy to put it back on the counter
>forced to stand there holding it while screaming as more trickles down my chest for several minutes until someone hears me

I was pretty fucked up after that. Sat in a cold bath for a few hours. Didn't go to school for a week.

had the door of an industrial oven bounce back on me once, and got a really nasty 2nd degree burn over a good portion of my forearm and elbow
one of the older guys who worked there said another dude caught a door to the face a few years before so uh i guess it could have been worse

I spilled a boiling pot of water on my torso when I was 13 and passed out from the pain. The next thing I remember was waking up in a hospital bed in the middle of the night next to some old dying guy.

Never cut myself too bad but constant burns. Drunkenly removed a hot glass crock lid last night, that was fun. Buddy in the kitchen i used to work in split his hand pretty good trying to cut a frozen tuna fillet in half.

cut a tiny bit of my thumb off on a mandolin at work

didn't hurt much, mostly just felt a numbing/fuzzy sensation

My dad cut the tips off of three of his fingers with a mandolin. Those things are really dangerous.

Even the king of Veeky Forums cuts himself occasionally.

youtu.be/mkkHh2zW1bA

>dropped a knife once and it went through my foot, wouldn't recommend
I'm cooking with shoes from now on because of this post.

why on earth would anyone put anything near a moving blender??????????????????????????????????????????????????

>cleaning meatslicer
>guards off
>slide pinky lengthways under the blade to clean the base
>cut from the tip of my finger to halfway up my pinky

aside from that i probably get about 2 cuts and a couple burns every shift

Doesn't look bad but that image shows my pinky afteshowglass broke while washing it. That was one giant chunk of akin down to bone.

Bled for nearly 3 daya

Nearly cut the end of my pinky off trying to extract the dry noodles from a cup of instant ramen. The knife went all the way to the bone. Really should have got stitches but didn't want to make a scene so I refrained from going to the hospital and it healed up all mangled and deformed.

I managed to take part of my nail off while chopping a carrot. Saved my finger, but took off about half the nail and a bunch of skin right under the nail. I had fingers set as a guide for the knife, but apparently my middle finger on my left hand was out just slightly. Cut straight down long the nail and took most of it clean off.

Other than that nothing big to report. Small grease burns and a burnt finger or two.

Now, I did manage to cut my foot open and bleed all over my dad's kitchen floor, but I wasn't cooking at the time. I had the flu and vomited on the floor and slipped on it, hitting my foot against the bottom of the cupboard and it ripped my foot open. That was a fun night.

>putting fingers in your veggie smoothies

Its not vegetarian if you do that.

Mandolin blade slide under my thumb nail all the way to the bottom!
Fuck those things!

Got distracted grating something (cheese, I think?) looked to the left, looked back at my hand to find I had removed the skin from the foremost knuckles of my index, middle and thumb. Naturally I had to bin the cheese. then clean my counter.

>keeps handling the food while bleeding

Small cut on my index finger about 2cm deep. Got it from cutting onions.

Qhy just not stop lufting the thing dumbass?

Severed the tendon on my pinky finger while stabbing a knife through the sandal of a girl I had fucked in the brush outside our house into drywall while shitfaced. Hit the spacer board and my hand slid over the serrated part of the blade.
Didn't have health insurance and was flat broke so I just cleaned it with alcohol and bandaged it.
Still can't bend the top of my finger, so now whenever I drink tea I stay classy with the pinky out.

Fun times.

How could you not feel that happening?

Ouch.
Yeah mandolins are dangerous, gotta be careful.

mandolins are the only time i bother with cutting gloves

I've never cut myself at work, but as a kid I put my hand on a frying pan. strangely, the skin still has a crispy texture

While I don't know how long ago this was, I think it might be time to cut back on the painkillers.
They're affecting your typing.

Not cooking, but I was once brewing leaf tea in a metal teapot me and my parents bought at an Istanbul market when I was 11. The handle felt funny, so a short time earlier, we gave it to my uncle to repair it, but instead of welding it, he just used some hot glue. The glue was supposed to be temperature resistant, but it wasn't. When I was raising it, the handle stayed in my hand, while the rest of the pot fell down, spilling hot tea all over my arm. My father called me a pussy until I showed him the blisters next day.

>mandolin
kek.
retard.

im a drunk not a druggie. jeez

>it's fucking contaminated

How can you play a mandolin while wearing gloves?
It would be impossible, the frets are very close together.

Not cooking but butchering right before cooking
>Cutting up deer night before thanksgiving, as is tradition
>Cousin and Me are still the youngest so we are on skinning and hoof/horn removal until some of the other boys are old enough to do it all without help
>We are untying deer off the cherrypicker, we used to string them up like bass
>I go to get us a couple beers, cousin starts
>Come back to him bleeding everywhere, he tried to cut the rope and slipped cutting his pointer almost clean off at the second knuckle
>His girlfriend drives him to the hospital, uncle starts hollering about what a dumbass my cousin is
>Uncle walks over, pulls one end of the rope, slipknot drops a deer
>Biggest loss was the short measure rope that got (almost) cut off

>Your kid gets boiling hot water all over his arm
>Call him a pussy
It baffles me that people like this exist.

His line of thought was that it wasn't boiling hot (true, it stood for like 3 minutes), so it was just a minor burn. But in reality, there was a lot of this water on a relatively small area and it was a moment until I cooled it down with water, so I guess it was a penetrating burn.

I remember when I was young my dad had a big pan of hot oil heating up to make something and I put random stuff in it to see how it tasted, then I put a collard green leaf in it and because leaves are filled with water the oil exploded at me and the whole side of my little preteen hand was pink and swollen from a painful burn.

...

Ah. Well, I guess I'll cut him some slack.

>in elementary school
>mom isn't home but i'm hungry
>cook up some ramen noodles
>i'm weak as fuck, can't lift the pot to dump it in a bowl
>drop boiling water all over my legs
>i'm wearing skinny jeans so the boiling water is soaking and sticking to me and i can't take them off in time
>finally take my pants off, skin is red and inflamed
>two hours later there are massive blisters all over my thighs
And from then on I listened to my mom when she told me not to cook without her.

Probably when I cut off the tip of my finger. I didn't even notice anything when it happened till my veggies were covered in blood. Surprisingly it didn't even hurt, even after a few hours had passed. I guess "workers hands" will lose the sensitivity of the nerves over the years. Overall I'm not that clumsy so kitchen accidents rarely happen.

Split the tip of my middle finger in hallf with the meat slicer.

Not a very pleasant experience, i fainted when i saw how irreal my cut looked, i had the impression that i was in a dream.

i hate ellen so fucking much. like ... i ... hate.. ellen.

your redneck stories are amazing

Oh jeez that's terrible dude feelssuperbadman

>while stabbing a knife through the sandal of a girl I had fucked in the brush outside our house into drywall while shitfaced.
What?

I was chopping vegetables while super high and dropped the knife and it stabbed my toe on the way down.
I learned to pre-chop my shit before I smoke.

Holy shit dude is she okay

Frying up some chicken and for some reason the grease popped for a split second... right into my fucking eyeball. It was awful. Learned real quick to stand back when dropping my chicken (or anything else) into Hot grease.

you didn't waste the smoothie did you?

Too bad you didn't learn to keep your chicken dry so that it doesn't' splat at all.

I've taken off a third of my thumb.. Meat slicer.
Asshole at work knocked my chefs knife off the table.. stuck in my foot.
Slipped on grease grilling steaks grilled my hand.
Bolied my other hand checking soup, wrong pot. Grated knuckles, fondue on face.. don't work in kitchens desu!

one time my dad was frying squash in a kitchen with like 5 drunks dudes in it (he was drunk too) and somebody fell into the stove and like a cup of hot oil went all over his arm.

he had like 3rd degree burns nd shit

Ikr, his mom sounds like a retarded faggot

Are you still shitfaced? Because your post makes no fucking sense

When I was a kid I somehow managed to tear the flesh on my ring finger on a tuna can badly enough that it required five stitches.

Haven't really had other shit happen to me in the kitchen since besides small cuts on fingers/grater burns.

I'm the doctor and she died

Ive actually left the woods, I go back just to butcher with the family/friends.
>Skinners arms covered in blood whenever we butcher
>Wrestling coach (owns the barn we were based out of between drives and when we process animals) brings out a bucket to clean our hands in after we finish
>Deer were cold from hanging outside in winter, our hands were numb as shit because gloves are for faggots
>Coach, in his infinite kindness, made the water warm to get feeling back
>Poured in bleach to kill anything in the blood that might make us sick
>Poured in peroxide to clean any knicks we may have had from using skinning/fillet knives with numb frozen fingers
>Bleach/peroxide blend goes into about 30 little cuts, become acutely aware of how much of the blood on my hand was mine as I get feeling back in my fingers
>One of my knuckles flayed to a tendon or whatever that white thing was
>Wrapped in paper towel followed by scotch tape
>Some sort of flammable raspberry booze for the pain
>Learned how to debone from the hip and cut steaks that night

I haven't cut myself yet, but I have a funny story that happened to my cousin once.
>Cousin is living with us
>My father asks her to hand him a knife
>She grabs a knife and some how drops it
>It lands on her big toe because she wasn't wearing any footwear
>She gets a cut and begins bleeding
>She begins to cry and panic
>She says the cut is really deep
>And that she can see the bone
>She is freaking the fuck out
>Dad tells me to bring paper towels and rubbing alcohol
>Don't have rubbing alcohol so I bring him tequila instead
>He pours it on the wound
>It's literally a tiny cut on the skin
>She tries to play it off by saying that she knew it wasn't a deep cut
>Put a bandage on it and that's it

My hand no longer opens all the way cause I cut through tendons and shit while cutting an onion. It's mostly just my pinky and ring finger that don't work very well. I still don't know how I did it because I was very very drunk.

I cut myself with a plastic knife once

>4th grade
>skipping class to make pancakes
>Not paying attention
>Put my wand on a flat surface
>Have to be told my hand's in the frypan to feel my hand burning
>Hand stings for the rest of the day
At least the pancakes were good

Not me but my dumbass boss

>Cooking a dish which requires a very high pan temp
>we use a wok burner so it gets extremely hot
>just about to add all the prep to the wok
>he steps in to cook the dish instead because
>"he likes doing the flamey flame"
>immediately adds too much oil
>Flips the pan
>3rd degree burns up to his elbow

another but not an injury

>Uses a smaller, less treated wok
>Immediately sets fire to it
>act calmly and turn the heat off to let it burn out
>he immediately grabs the wok, turns it upside down and pours the burning oil into the water bath
>FWOOOOOOSH
>singed ceiling and a bigger fire

bump

...

a few 'bacon kisses'

These are both real classics. I assume most people here who actually cook have had them to some degree.