Best of Veeky Forums

>customer
>acts like a shit
"I'm never coming here again!"

Is that a fucking threat? People really think that'll make us feel bad?

Bonus points if they're drunk, because it is a beach locale after all. Extra bonus if they act like a total shit because they think it's an entirely different store.

I worked retail many years ago and I recognise all of this.
I had people threaten to beat me up because they could accept that the thing they saw on sale was in an entirely different store.

I make a point of being as nice as I can to the retailworkers I come into contact with. I know they have to put up with a lot of bullshit.

A true classic:
>item won't scan.
"haw haw, it must be FREE!"

yeah, man. You're the first guy in several minutes to make that joke.

Used to work in a starbucks on a train station. We sold 330ml bottles of peroni at £4.20 a pop which is like 5/6 dollars i think. Most of the time it'd be "4.20 EACH! Fuck me dave we're leaving, fucking 4.20 each...."

The amount of idiots i would have ask if i could do a "special offer" or ask if its 2 for 1. Some people used to come right up to me and joke about stealing them.

Also most of england isn't big on coffee. The amount of people that would come in and say "coffee please" was rustling. They would then lose their shit that it wasnt 40p for some disolvable soil in hot water.

>work at walgreens
>everyone comes in on their phone saying "yeah I just walked into cvs"
get the fuck out

that 4:20 thing didn't go where i was expecting

i don't even work in shops and i've heard people say 'blaze it' after they pay that amount about a million times

>haha so its free?
Is this an American thing? I've never heard that

Retail workers are just such stuck up whiny assholes that customers often make comments or jokes to break the tension. The only workers who act more entitled for doing so little are servers.

If you weren't a minimum wage pea brain you'd actually feel bad.

No. It's never happened anywhere. Just a /r9k/ wagie meme

I make this joke in a really obvious and retarded way just to piss you people off.

>work at CVS
>customer is furious because she can't apply her "rewards points to the purchase"
>leaves and grumbles something about Walgreens being racist

I don't even think that's a thing anywhere, much less Walgreens and definitely not CVS.

Fuck off i work in costco in canada and its all too true. All of it.

You'd be surprised. At a busy intersection drugstore you still have a small team to work with meaning that you work longer hours than expected sometimes many days in a row with some of the most stupid, shallow, childish, and entitled people on the planet.

You'll see everything from a customer unironically calling you racist for not having enough money in your register, to some old lady having a heart attack, to people straight up stealing shit and not being able to drop them then and there.

It's a special kind of hell.

>threatened beatings
Damn, I've never had that, but once an elderly man threw a loaf of bread at me because it wasn't on sale any more. My manager could have been less of a dick and just given the guy the small discount, though.

Stocking a meijer

>fat diabetus welfare shitbag rides scooter to ice cream isle
>where the sugar free fudge sicles
>"We havent gotten any in, they might be discontinued"
>I GET THEM AT WALMART ALL THE TIME
>ILL JUST GO TO WAL MART
>YOURE LOSING MY BUSINESS
>YOURE COSTING SHEKELBURG MONEY!
>YOU SPECIFICALLY!
>rants for another five minutes at me down the isle Ive been stocking on
>wheels away

Thankfully I never DID see them again

I would have beaned him with that loaf. Anything happens I could get a Jewberg lawyer and sue his old ass for assault of person and steal the rest of his SS money.

Fuck old people.

oh fuck off and die

highlights of my customer service career include
>someone throwing hot coffee at the counter girl because it was wrong
she just hands it out you shitbag she didnt know
>creepy men old/young/awkward/ugly hitting on me while i have to stand there and be nice or risk losing my job
>the shouting like a petulant child because they cant get their way, when its company fucking policy you stupid shithead fuck
>customer lying about one of the employees risking their jobs to get free shit that costs like 5$
the skin you develop from dealing with the most toxic dredges of humanity barely makes it worth it

lel I probably should have. Still was more angry at my manager at the time, she was a total bitch. The man being all pissy and chucking the loaf of bread at me with all the force and spite that he could muster actually brightened up my day, however dickish it may have been.

Are you cute?

only on the outside

It's not a joke. There is no setup and punchline. It's a question, and a retarded one.

Tell them you'll ask the manager to stock it, then make a text message to the manager if they're cool which 99% of them aren't gonna be, or some random google voice phone if your managers are dicks. Then every other time they pull that shit on you, just show them your text convo and say, "Sorry man, I asked them, I did what I could". That stops them from throwing tantrum in the future.

LONDON
O
N
D
O
N

I too know that retail feel. In addition to the "so it's free?" joke that I hear 100 times a week, retail has also taught me that people are scumbags who will steal anything and everything that isn't bolted to the floor. And before you /pol/ fucks mention niggers, 9 times out of 10 it's a white redneck meth-head or douchey white teens who steal shit.

As a vendor I deal with this shit all the fucking time.

>Where is this
Dunno mate I don't work here
>You have a badge
Yea I work in this store, I don't work for them
>Well I need help
Go ask one of the customer service reps
>But I need help now

...and so on. If it's a little old grandma or grandpa I help them, but otherwise I pretty much tell them to fuck off. Shit gets old, especially considering I'm paid by the hour, and if I go over hours I get emails from my manager whining.

I used to be a supermarket cashier, people asked me for where things were all the time and I had no idea since I stayed on my fucking register. I got bored pretty quickly of saying I didn't know so I just started sending them to whatever aisle I came up with.

>you're not going to do this one really specific, ridiculious thing for me that you never do for anyone?
No, I'll be looking foreward to your yelp review.

I live in a mostly white area and in addition to never stealing, customers will check to make sure that I scanned everything and correct me if I missed something because they want to make sure that they're paying the full amount.

Customers are usually shit, but I try to remember that for the few minutes they take out of my day, they're not worth getting butthurt about.

What really pisses me off is working with idiots that don't want to work or show up for the few shifts they get every week.

>I sneezed last night, I don't think I can work today
Next day
>I never get any hours, how am I supposed to survive?

I hate that shit

That's the thing. I only shop at Aldi man, and unfortunately I don't work inside the store. So when I'm at all these other grocery stores doing my business people expect me to know where all this shit is even though I've never even been in the isle or purchased one item from the store.

I that's proof to me that it's a culture thing and not a race thing. I also live in a predominantly white area and people steal costantly. We try to keep an eye out but we can only watch people for so long. Soon as you turn your back they're opening boxes and slipping things into their pockets. If retail has taught me one thing it's this: people in general are greedy, hateful, selfish scumbags who will do just about anything to get what they want.

I think it depends on the area too I live in the bad part of my city but the white part so you get a lot of crackhead and stuff causing a scene

>they show up late
>they ask manager to leave early
>every day I have to listen about their money woes

Yea man I'm not Bill fucking Gates, but you know what actually working means you get paid moron

>coworker has "chronic back pain" that he uses to constantly call of off work
>invents doctor's appointments and etc related to it so he doesn't have to go
>makes up excuses about his nonexistent kid being sick and guilt trips you
>can't ever refuse or doubt him or else you look like a total fucking asshole

I've heard it's a meme here in Finland too.

>on lunch
>service desk calls me saying a lady is complaining about her purchase so I go up there
>lady bought two items
>they're basically the same item but different sku and color, might have been an older and newer model too
>one is clearance (and a lower price) and the other isn't
>the clearance one is marked as such and the other isnt
>lady thinks they should both be the lower clearance price
>tell her no
>it doesn't work that way
>"if i were a different color you would have given me my money back"
>she, a middle aged white lady, says this to me, the whitest most melanin lacking motherfucker
>slams her hand on the counter, stuffs her shit in her purse, and storms out yelling and making a scene
>customer service associate fucking laughing behind me
I just barely stopped myself from laughing as well.

Also
>30 day return policy with a receipt
>fuck this, i've been a loyal customer for years, i ain't giving you my business anymore, imma go to walmart, they'll take it, 30 days ain't enough time to know you want something

>retail "workers" thinking anyone gives a shit about their feelings or what they have to say

You're nothing, you deserve to be treated like shit. I personally don't fuck with plebs but you've got to be exceptionally retarded to believe that you deserve to be treated better than dog shit.

Why even bother treating them like trash? What kind of mindset even is this?

>go to starbucks
>catch barista snickering at my speech impediment
>report her to the manager
>never see her again

>have speech impediment
>leave the house

It's not about how we get treated, it's about the stupid shit that people think they can get away with.

I don't expect to he treated special or any different than anyone else. I am a consumer/customer of as many stores restaurants as anyone else here, and I would never dream of doing some of the stupid shit that I have to put up with at my job to other people.

>Return/exchange period
Shouldn't be an issue, but people think they're so special and important that I am changing rules for them.
>Wah wah price is too high
Go somewhere else or find let's try to find it cheaper for price match.
>Making up some bullshit product/service
Things don't work that way. A+b=c. No exceptions.
>I'll go somewhere else.
That's your right.
>Service is taking too long
If I'm sitting on my ass slacking off, you're in the right. If it's screaming fucking busy and everyone is doing their shit, be fucking patient. You're not the only person here.

I have been working in restaurants for 20+ years. I can't be arsed to please every fucking person anymore. Whoever said "the customer is always right" never worked in retail.

l-l-lol
To add to this, if you are being a shitty prick about everything, I'm only going to do so much to help you. If you are being reasonable and understanding, I'll do my best to make any exceptions I can.

The main thing retail has taught me is that people by nad large just don't give a fuck about anyone but themselves. It's an obvious thing but I close at one job, blocking/zoning/etc. at night and you see everything everybody didn't give a fuck enough about. It's crushing. It's such a small thing that doesn't seem like a big deal but it's just the sheer overwhelming insight and realization how little anybody gives a shit when nobody is around for them to worry about, and that's just how I happen to see that fact.

Though, for me this holds true for me because I've actually never directly experienced an unforgettably horrible customer directly, and also when people don't god damn show up to fucking work. They just don't know or care about how much that fucks things up for the people who give enough of a shit to show up sometimes.

It boils down to management. I have worked in some jobs where the sick days/calling in get abused so had that the boss makes you take 2 days off if you call in.

...

I've never made that joke because even I've heard it a ton of times and I've never worked retail, but ever since having a now-ex gf who worked in retail, I'm now more conscious about my interactions with retail workers. I stopped making most small jokes/comments (grocery-related ones at least) because I assume that they probably hear it several times a day. I'm also more sympathetic to how monotonous their job is and therefore more forgiving internally when they're acting short/rude/perturbed.

I've been threatened with a stabbing from a trumped up manlet who couldn't get his stolen ipad removed from his victims icloud account.

Also saw a guy physically abuse his mother when she failed a credit check for a phone.

Then again I live in a shithole.

>stocking shelves at CVS
>black woman asks for help on makeup in the aisle over
>tell her I'm new and am still learning but will try to help
>we boy can't find what she's looking for
>she goes back to looking for a replacement and I go back to stocking shelves
>walk to put product on shelf, walk back to cart of stock, rinse repeat
>black lady get furious all of a sudden
>"YOU DON'T HAVE TO KEEP CHECKING ON ME! I'M NOT GOING TO STEAL ANYTHING!"
>explain to her that I'm not paying attention to her and that I'm stocking the shelves
>"THIS IS RIDICULOUS! I DON'T HAVE TO TAKE THIS!"
>storms out of the store
I got people like this all the time after that

>>explain to her that I'm not paying attention to her and that I'm stocking the shelves


Probably more like: "B-b-but mmmmmm, I , ma'am, I'm not trying to. "

Nice projection.

How are you supposed to fit any words into a heated argument with a customer. You really think I believe an angry person waited to hear your side of the story?

Jesus is that true. Worked grocery in the cheap/ shitty/ mexican store. Always the same shitty poor people, black and white that would steal, but not many of them. Mostly alcoholics stealing cases of beer. We had to keep the wild irish rose and other wino consumables behind the counter. The mexican immigrants ate nothing but the cheapest, prep it yourself whole foods imaginable, just sacks of peppers, beans, tomatoes, onions and huge bags of meat. Never caused a fuss, were mostly too afraid to even fill out the loyalty card stuff.

Oh, I'm not him. I just thought that post seemed an awful lot like projection.
If you have a confident posture and speak clearly you will stun them for long enough to say "I'm not watching you, I'm stacking these shelves" before they recover and continue berating you.

Everyone poor and american had a shit diet. Part of what led to me quitting was that they started trying to get us to shill crap quality store brand cookies at the register to poor, unhealthy, obese people using EBT to pay for most of their stuff.

>sacks of peppers, beans, tomatoes, onions and huge bags of meat
pretty balanced, desu. add lots of greens like parsley/cilantro, some garlic, maybe carrots once in a while, (I'll just assume they bought rice, too)

That's pretty crazy. Hope you are able to move soon.

Actually it was
"Ma'am I'm just stocking these shelves over here, I'm not watc-"
>"UH-HUH! I'M SURE YOU'RE NOT!"
"Ma'am I don't really know what you want me t-"
>"I DON'T HAVE TO TAKE THIS! CAN'T EVEN GO SHOPPING! FUCKING RIDICULOUS!" storms out
>nearby old lady "don't pay her any mind, dear. She clearly has issues"

So I heard that Veeky Forums has this meme about soy turning you gay because of all the estrogen in it
And uh
>Be me
>hear about that
>Have pantry full of cereal and eat it exclusively with almond milk every morning, and sometimes throughout the day (I fucking love cereal)
>Initially slightly scared
>Shrug it off because even though I have the libido of a horny teenager I've never once thought about fucking a man or getting fucked by a man even though I've been having soy shit for most of my life since I can't stomach milk very well
>Two months ago
>Get increasingly gay thoughts every now and again, but only when I'm horny
>Usually it's of dudes sucking my dick but other times it's of fucking traps
>Shrug it off again
>One month ago
>Get Chocolate Almond milk
>goodshit.jpg
>Drink a lot of it because for a while it's all I've got in the fridge to drink
>I am now having twice as much soy as I usually do
>Five days ago
>Get home from 10 day exodus for unspecified reasons
>Didn't fap because didn't feel horny
>Home again and suddenly horny as hell
>No matter how much I cum I'm still horny what the fuck
>Having hour long fap sessions daily
>During one particular fap session, it seems like the madness is about to end
>Then I'll find something else that'll set me off and I'll cum to it
>Find some really good trap shit of this dude who swears he's not gay
>Has really nice feminine body
>Sits on huge dildo while swearing he's not gay
>Sinks down on it and can only spit out gibberish while cumming
>Get obscenely hard
>Cum
>Immediately search my living space for anything phallic I can put in my ass
>only find sharpies and shit
>Spend a few minutes cleaning out ass as best I can
>Then spend at least 30 trying to make myself cum fucking myself with sharpies
>It's not doing anything for me, but have raging erection
>Jerk off, cum, boner has been kill ever since

Did I meme myself into becoming a limpdick homo or am I just retarded? Can I reverse this?
Pic related is my brand

enjoy being gay, faggot

you were a fag this entire time, the “soy turning you gay” thing just made you realize it

It's more of a /pol/ meme that gets discussed on Veeky Forums because soy is food
And you're gay dude, cut out the soy and see a psychiatrist

You must live in an area with not too many Blacks. Black people come in all the time and regularly try to steal things. That being said, my issue is with the broke-ass, ghetto-dwelling, niggers and broke-ass, inner-city, white folk. Its not really a race issue, but Blacks arent that clwver so you see their theft more often.
What pains me is that we're too cucked to so much as stop the thieves but it's the companies profits, not my own. Upper management thinks we can deter people just by giving good customer service but maybe we'd do better if we could actually call out folks on their bullshit.

Bro, you work fast food. Your life is a joke.

>just started my first job ever at a deli in a little supermarket a week ago
>co-workers tell me about bat shit crazy customers they had to deal with in the past
>so far the only bad thing I had to deal with is just grumpy, rude customers

Can't wait.

Almond milk doesn't even have soy in it

>Upper management thinks we can deter people just by giving good customer service but maybe we'd do better if we could actually call out folks on their bullshit.

This. When I worked as a cashier and saw someone obviously stealing, I was supposed to approach them and ask "is there anything I can help you with?" and hope they don't stab me. A guy did whip out a knife on me once. My manager told me it was my fault due to my approach.

>almond milk
>soy
Am confus

I hate it when they make that """joke""" after like one second. like it's one thing if you gotta call for help or find the price strip to get the plu or something but they're so desperate to make the """joke""" they blurt it out the microsecond after you pass it past the laser scanner.

>druggie shot up in the bathroom, now you need to clean up the blood that's all over the place
>druggie wondered off before their food was made, now have to stay open an extra half hour waiting for them to come back of risk getting stabbed when you leave because they think you ripped them off
>shitfaced customer getting increasingly angry that you can't understand their slurred orders
>cooks that put the ticket up before it's entirely done and forget half the order
>unannounced smoke breaks every hour that last 15 minutes and are always timed to happen during a rush
>"I'm only going to be ten minutes late," "I'm on my way just a couple minutes," "Almost there," for two hours until it's too late to even call in someone to cover the shift

Management was a mistake.

one time some old lady was being a cunt to me and some big Arab dude threatened to hit her. deplorable behaviour by him but fuck if it wasn't awesome.

Big Lots and Kmart have reward points for discounts.

Basically you get a gift card that puts a penny on itself for every dollar you spend.

BP gas stations have a similar setup

>>unannounced smoke breaks every hour that last 15 minutes and are always timed to happen during a rush
Turn their own crew against them.

>Gee it would be great if (x) was here, too bad the cig was more important.
>>when he comes back
>WELCOME BACK!

The hate will spread.

Log the lateness. To be honest 10 mins is not that bad but two hours is, unless it's very rare. Hire a replacement, have that person train him, then fire him. No better feeling.

They desperately throw the joke at the cashier any chance they get because deep down they hope the cashier will actually give it to them for free, but half the time these people are dicks and say it with such tangible scumminess it comes off as a plea than a joke.

You reminded me that the Wendy's near here (Mt. Washington, Cincinnati) is terrifying. Now the restaurant itself is clean and well managed. However it sits in the backyard of some PJs.

The kids at first just caused trouble with spraypainting and loitering. Now that they are adults they have graduated into rushing in with gats and demanding money and valuables. Nobody wants to work there due to the ever present risk of 'gun in your face'.

>PJs
Papa Johns? What does a chain pizza have to do with gangsters?

>Had the job to check receipts at the exit door
>Coworker is new and asks to check a black dude's receipt
>Black dude calls him a racist and demands to talk to a manager
>Black dude just bitches to the Store Manager saying he doesn't deserve this racism and returned everything

I dont even know

I feel bad for you buddy.
Your kind doesn't desserve that kind of poor treat.

I actually just had a customer wanting to fight me in the parking lot of the diner I work at over his food not looking 5 star restaurant quality. Supposedly he was a professional chef, but couldn't give any reason on why he didn't like it (like being burnt or raw) and just kept saying it was shitty food. Luckily he's banned from the store now.

He probably ran out of heroin and was taking it out on you

I'm dying just imagining it.

Just a fucking druggie looking to beat you up for some money. Should've beat his ass and walked away.

Walgreens employee here, we do the rewards points thing and if you get enough of them you can use them to pay for part of your total purchase.

She already had stolen some of it. Even the shitty makeup that places like drug stores and grocery stores have has a horrible shrink rate, super easy to pocket and cheap enough that the trash don't think they'll get in trouble for taking it.

The setup is the item not scanning and the punchline is the comment.

I work as an AM at a gas station that is right next to a Wal-Mart. I get threatened or called a cunt at least once a week because we don't take their fucking gift cards.

Working retail for any length of time gives you a special kind of hatred for humanity

Spot the fucker that's never worked a day in his life.

I work at Rite-Aid and we also have points that can be used for sales as long as it's not lotto, cigarettes or gift cards. It used to be really easy to abuse the reward system until they started setting transaction limits a couple years ago.

If it is bolted down they tend to steal a wrench or bolt cutters lol

>work at food retail
>middle aged woman checks out egg box to see if any of them are broken
>somehow manages brake an egg and stain her fur coat
>finds one of coworkers and starts screaming at him
>DON'T YOU SEE MY CLOTHES ARE STAINED HELP ME HOW DARE YOU TO IGNORE ME
>dude is not retarded and does what boss told him to do: call the boss if there any loud client
>he asks her politely to wait because he would bring the boss to her
>she said ok
>he walks barely 10 meters and the bitch screams WHERE ARE YOU GOING
>"i told you i'm going to bring the boss here"
>walks away saying "i don't have time waiting for you"
>later we have been told that she called hot line and started crying said that we tell her to fuck off.
What the fuck

Baby, I make 90k at 26 yr old, i'm hitting manager soon. How bout me and you get together and bang out a few kids and you file for divorce in 10 years?

>work in the meat/seafood department at big grocery store
>old man on one of those motorized scooter carts gets my attention one day
>very slowly asks me for whole pickled herring fillets, talking to me like I'm retarded, stating everything down to brand name and the size of the jar
>the only one we carry are little chunks
>he insists on needing the whole fillets
>call my manager over
>manager says he'll try to special order them but it will take at least 2 weeks to get any
>the next day the same old man shows up in his motor cart
>very slowly asks me for whole pickled herring fillets, talking to me like I'm retarded, stating everything down to brand name and the size of the jar
>tell him that the manager said it'd be at least 2 weeks to get them in, if we even can
>demands to talk ro manager
>manager tells him the same thing he told him yesterday
>a few days later the same old man wheels up in his motorized cart again
>repeats the same request for pickled herring fillets again verbatim
>call manager up again
>etc
This went on for 2 weeks until we finally got them in. He bought only 1 jar and the rest sold out by the time he came back, he seemed to think they were going to be permanent and got all up in arms about it again.
For a while I thought someone was playing a prank on us or something, or maybe that he was senile or something. As it turned out, he was just an asshole.

Tbh if you sell a whole minimum order that quickly it probably is worth stocking normally but I see what you're saying.

Normally if I special ordered something unusual I would tell the customer to give me their number and call them when I got it in. My company was a little anal about shelves following the planned layout so I just had a few places to put forceouts and temporary products that weren't deemed seasonal.

Unfortunately we're at the mercy of corporate when it comes to what we can and can't order normally. My manager had to call the supplier for it directly and it was actually a huge hassle to even get the 1 single case of it.
We've tried getting other products on our shelves permanently and the corporate cocksuckers just told us no since they think we don't know what will and won't sell at our store.
Meanwhile we get customers pestering us for the product every day and we basically just have to tell them that corporate won't let us get it.

I have that issue with black people all the time. My store has a ton of niche/obscure specialty items, so employees are expected to give customers a lot of help and attention. But many black people take it like we're watching them specifically.

That is unfortunate, my company was good about getting us odd orders or spike demand fulfillment even if I had a hard time placing it.

Right around the holidays for instance we always had the two local bake shops come in and try to buy ALL of the fucking coconut and condensed milk. I don't know why they thought it would be cool to just get every single bit if an on-sale item when every single large retailer is going to tell you in ad print that they can and will limit quantities. Fortunately a couple calls to the warehouse and I was able to get dozens of extra cases just for those shop owners throughout the holiday season and even programmed it to stop as soon as a particular date was up.

Never could figure out why they didn't go to a wholesaler, we still had significant margin on the products and it wasn't a loss leader.

Further unless something was no longer in production at all I could still get it on the next truck with about two days notice.

But I am sure fucking glad I'm not a retail manager anymore, fuck me that area was awful. 1/3 EBT saturation and the population was very heavy on melanin.

Rule one of working in Customer Service:

Everything, and I mean EVERYTHING, can and will be blamed in you. If you're an entry-level person in any customer service profession, you're the scapegoat. Take it from me, with 2 years of fast food experience and almost 6 months in a call center, any uncontrolable crazy person who walks in and decides to blame shit on you or gives you bad reviews or whatever, your management can and will find """problems""" in your performance, and blame that on you for not being able to calm down the crazy person

>blacks imagine racism when there is none
You don't fucking say

>work at jimmy john's a few years ago
>our owner wasn't owned by Jimmy, so he did his own thing
>this included delivering outside the Jimmy endorsed 2 mile delivery radius
>new owner who is IN with the John
>shuts that radius back down to 2 miles
>get multiple angry calls for the next few months when we tell people we no longer deliver out there
>explain the circumstances
>THAT'S DUMB I WANT YOUR MANAGER YOU CAN'T DO THAT

Along with that, we had a driver get in trouble because he said "do you need your change back" to a man who handed him money. A lot of people complained about bread being too dry or we gave them the wrong sandwich, but would mysteriously be ok with it when we asked for the wrong sandwich back so they can get the new one.