How do burgers clean themselves?

how do burgers clean themselves?

dunno, just wondering.

For me, it's the three shells.

Clean breaks.

Shower.

I wipe clean like I have been my whole life. Then I take a single wet wipe and wipe my ass. Then a quick dry wipe. Flush and I'm done.

Toilet paper

Because I'm not a human savage.

i would be at a loss here.

I'm confused as well... is this some ayy lmao shit or what?

If you don't have a strap on bidet in this day and age, you're basically a rampaging, shitting monkey looking around and shitting on things with rage and determination.

Food&Diarrhea

Burger who grew up with a bidet in his house but don't prefer it to wiping. AMA.
I shit at the same time every day anyway and it's always before I shower.

They don't?
Wouldn't the bun get soggy if they did?

omg did you create that? its perfect. can i burger it?

How do I burger this entire burger? I was thinking a plastic burger would burger my burger issue but I'm trying to play a burger my new game so I hope to burger this before I start into my new burger.

Is wiping not enough? Why the fuck would I waste money on a literal ass blaster just so I can be a tiny bit more clean after taking a shit? just take a shower every day like you're supposed to. Fucking eurofags

I was already fanatical about post-shit showers for years. So I installed a bidet seat and never looked back. The toilet paper jew has you all by short hairs. Never again will I need to bother with running my paper covered fingers along my shitty asshole. Just let the water and gravity do its work.

If you're a vile, filthy piece of shit that likes shit up his own ass then don't. Otherwise get a bidet and you'll not be a disgusting shit in the street Indian who doesn't wipe, but you also save half the cost of all your toilet paper for a year, every year.

my fucking sides
jesus christ lol

lol, having a bidet doesn't make you clean, while I was in Italy everyone had a bidet, ironically no one showers in Italy

And I can afford to use toilet paper because i'm not a poor faggot who likes getting his asshole molested by a piss stream every time I take a shit. All of your problems could be erased by wiping you ass more than once. So fuck right off with that gay shit

You wipe your ass 5 times or twice. How the fuck do I have to school you when you've "had a bidet"? This is child science.

Why do you people even bother to live? It's like talking to human bacteria most of the time.

You both failed the underage test.

I wouldn't trust a bidet to get every shit spot. What if it causes shit/water droplets to fly onto other surfaces? I need the reassurance of clean tp.

I'm not them and 32. Is it a gender thing? I don't get it.

stop being an idiot. use one, then fucking learn. God, you people are like kindergarten.

Do you people every just feel really out of the water stupid? Because that's how most of you sound. Like you've never done one thing in your life at all.

>How the fuck do I have to school you when you've "had a bidet"
What? I've used a bidet before and it is fucking stupid, you still have to wipe your ass off because it soaks your asshole, unless you walk around like you have swamp ass after you take a shit

Not my problem, my toilet paper is soft as fuck and I actually look forward to wiping, it feels like i'm using an angel's hand to wipe.

Also for both of you fucktards, what do you do in the winter when you just wake up? Freeze your asshole?

>32
>gender thing

lol wew flyover normiefags everywhere tonight

You're like if a flyover state had a flyover state. Just adopt the smelly asshole disease and become a third world state like you people are.

You realize that people who live in the midwest are just disgusting people, right?

I love how we have a thread about shitty butts on the food and cooking board. Keep up the good work faggots

what's the other product of cooking, dipshit? A physics paper? God you people are just so stupid to listen to.

>People that live in the midwest are just disgusting right?
Bro I live in Houston why the fuck would I care about flyover states?

Fuck off and just admit that bidets are fucking stupid and useless because you still have to wipe after using it.

>God you people are just so stupid to listen to.
How do you listen to words on a screen faggot?

Houston, so worse. No one listens to people in Texas. You fucking people are sun addled idiots and now you're drowned. No one cares. You're literally living in feces.

“Oh no, he has a point about how shitty bidets are, and how toilet paper is the ultimate patrician ass cleaner, I better make fun of his city so it looks like I won”
Also Houston isn’t my hometown, I just moved here for work and it is awesome

>not sloshing a stream of toilet water all around your butt spreading poo germs all over your unshaven boipucci like I do
>Do Americans do

>so worse
Lol okay buddy, bidets are better, if I ever have a concussion so bad that it makes me retarded i’ll come join you with your ass tickler

If you want to pay 3 times more for as paper, go nuts you fucking moron. You really don't need even 1/3rd the paper. So.. Yeah. Play your fucking game.

Didn't know there was a massive anti-bidet russian botnet.

i'm older than you, shithelmet
not everybody knows about the three shells

You people are freakish about this, aren't you? It's tap water, right? Is this like knealing for the anthem? You people are weirder than a latvian whore looking up at you to eat cum.

Only need for a bidet is if you have extremely messy shits and if that is an issue for you then you don't need a fancy toilet, you need to stop eating garbage.

Haha those retards paying a Kings ransom for toilet paper. They probably waste money on soap too.

Totally the only reason. It's not universally accepted.