Holy shit...

Holy shit, I just drank coffee for the first time and I totally get it now! What other food-based lifehacks have I been missing out on?

You ever microwave a donut?

No, what superpowers does it give me?

Well, you could start by finishing middle school.

Also stop using the word lifehack.

I'm 24 years old. I agree to abstain from using the word lifehack.

microwave an egg

Put chips on a sandwich.

Or just use fresh lettuce you fat cunt

>whoa! did they start making fresh lettuce out of fried potato slices?!

faggot

Eat 3 grams of nutmeg with your meal to give it that extra zing

Only reason to use chips on a sandwich is for the texture and crunch.

Unless you mean French-fried potatoes, in which case I hurl my previous insult at you thrice more.

This, make sure to grate a fresh nut instead of using the pre-ground stuff.

>fresh nut

YOU JUST USED IT AGAIN

>microwave a honey bun for a few seconds
>add ham/bacon to a grilled cheese, salt and pepper it, hot sauce optional
>chocolate milk in coffee
>lemon and/or cherry syrup to tea
>fry up onions alongside proteins

L I F E H A C K
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You can freeze donuts. They still taste fresh and moist when thawed.

So does your mum

>he's never enjoyed the rush of fresh nutmeg on his morning oatmeal

Also helps cure hangovers too

But how many more years will it be before you finish middle school? You have our permission to use your fingers to count. You can take your shoes off if you need more. If you still need more, you can take your pants off.

Dog semen makes a tasty ice cream topping. Ye great ball-gargling ponce.

First, why the fuck do you keep posting promotional art from the lamest porno to ever come out of Denmark?

Secondly, a handful of raw kidney beans can be ground into a decent protein powder, if you're into ness at all.

ginger beer gives you the jitters