Alright Veeky Forums I have a problem. What do I do when I have literally no way to cook stuff?

Alright Veeky Forums I have a problem. What do I do when I have literally no way to cook stuff?

My whole kitchen has been torn apart, had some water damage from my sink that happened during a trip, when I got back the floor was fucked. So I replaced the faucet and fixed that, had someone come in to check out the flooring and it has to be taken out. They found asbestos in the subflooring from the old floors one of the previous apartment owners. Whoever replaced it did a shitty job and didn't replace the old flooring, just stacked new stuff on top

My kitchen was all taken out, all the flooring in the kitchen area (and extending out a bit) was removed and I'm currently waiting for new stuff to come in, then they need to put it all in and bring all my stuff out of storage

So right now the only appliance I have is a fridge. No stove, no oven, no toaster, no sink, no microwave, absolutely nothing.

What do I Do? I'm sick of eating out. Give me some recipes that have absolutely no cooking whatsoever

Go out and buy something.

Cereal, snacks, canned shit. Not much more out there.

You have plenty of options. Go to a park and use a public grill. Buy a cheap propane camping stove or a plug-in hotplate. Buy foods that dont require heating

>Give me some recipes that have absolutely no cooking whatsoever

Uhhhhh

Buy a McChicken and a McDouble

Combine to make one McGangbang

Bon appetite

Make a fire dude. Check your burn laws, we have a burn ban til 5pm here. Get a trowel and go for a Dakota fire hole. Most family dollars sell little camping burners cheap as hell now too, but I won't cook on them ever because I own a lighter and wood is pretty much free.
Take a trip to the woods, no one will bother you.

We used to call that a McDank

The best foods are cooked, but there's nothing wrong with eating sandwiches for a while.

Salad

raw steak, filet mignon, salmon soaked in vinegar + prayers
get a pot, plant tomato seeds and wait a year

get a little propane grill

this you can get a little burner for like $7 on amazon and the fuel canisters are similarly cheap

Sandwiches

This.

Invest in a Dutch oven also. Dutch oven pizza is the shit.

A fair warning though, retail stores don't usually stock said burners in the fall and winter, but they usually have plenty in the spring and summer. Best bet is off Amazon like you said.
>t. retail cuck who's had to explain this to about a dozen pissed off customers at this point

Seriously look into a collapsible camp burner they are like less than $20 and will help you alot. If you can't just make fire on your own in a backyard or something.

Otherwise look up pickling stuff (alot of recipes don't require heating the pickling liquid up as it damages texture).
Taretare if you are feeling like dropping the shekels on good quality tuna or beef plus capers and other ingredients.
Cold cuts for antipasto is another way to add some variation to your diet that may not be super cheap but won't break your bank and will help you maintain your sanity.
Cheese boards too.
Look up different salads you can top with precut charcuteries
Forget the name of them but they are essentially fruits wrapped in cured meats with other stuff (thing a melon with some gorgonzola wrapped in prosciutto and topped with honeycomb) they are a subset of pass hor o durves that don't require much more than a knife to make.
Hell just buy a chicken breast from a restaurant with lunch and for dinner make a badass chutney/salsa to top it on a bed of greens
Sandwiches

crockpot faggot

Also look up recipes for Raw veganism the premise of it is that cooking kills nutrients and it's a complete load of new age bullshit. However they don't cook things (think it was nothing over 120 degrees) so you might find some ideas with a Google search for full dishes that don't require any actual cooking you might need to add something besides cashews for your protien though but it might be inspiration.

>sliced bread
>cold cuts
>deli-sliced cheeses
>baby spinach, baby kale or mixed greens
>condiments (preferably from squeeze bottles, given your predicament)
>assemble
>?????
>PROFIT

No stove, sink, oven, toaster, or microwave necessary. If you want, get a cheapo $15 panini press/george foreman grill to broaden your sandwich options to hot foods--paninis, melts and grilled cheeses. Just remember to line with foil to avoid cleaning anything.

You can also cook meat on a george foreman/panini press--chicken cutlets, burgers, sausages, etc.

Keep in mind crockpots and any normal pots and pans cooking on a small burner will require washing things, which OP can't do because he has no sink.

Most Chinese markets pick up the slack for fall and winter, since you need them to do hot pots.

>which OP can't do because he has no sink.
OFC he can wash dishes. He only has no kitchen sink. He still has a bathroom sink and a shower or bathtub. Or he can go outside and use the outdoor faucet on his home or apartment to do dishes. All he needs is a source of water and some soap. That's not hard to find.