What's the Thanksgiving damage, Ameri/ck/ans?

What's the Thanksgiving damage, Ameri/ck/ans?

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I ran an 8k in the morning (54:48 was my time) and had corn beef hash with scrambled eggs afterwards. Then I went to my parents' and snacked a little on chips and Crudités while food was getting prepared. Drank some beer. Had two pieces of dark meat and one bigger piece of white, some stuffing mixed with sausage, a couple spoons of green bean casserole, spoonful of mac and cheese, and some corn bread. I always disappoint myself on Thanksgiving for not going hard enough on the food. Didn't even have dessert.

I went outside today to see how bad things were. The streets are almost entirely empty, save for the occasional skinny vegan walking around, I assume the rest of the population is at this point still too fat to fit through doorways, or unable to move more than 15 feet for fear of having a heart attack. Watching the news, there were reports of emergency rooms being beyond capacity, as sadly, many Americans have eaten themselves to death yesterday. There were also reports of several skyscrapers and apartment buildings collapsing accross the nation's cities from the added weight of fat. I walked up to one suburban household to see the family (all of them fat) guzzling leftover lard-based gravy straight from the ladle. I think this was their breakfast. Glancing down I noticed the dog was fat, too. Luckily there are many pizza places, chinese, and other fast food establishments that are busier than ever delivering greasy slop straight to people's doors, otherwise many would likely die from the physical shock of not getting their high fructose corn syrup and trans fat fix. I suspect many were eating straight the night, and still stuffing their face at this very moment. The president has declared a day of national fat-rest, meaning all citizens are excused from going into work if they are too fat. Entering a grocery store, I see most of the shelves are empty, as everything has been eaten. I can hear occasional outbursts of clapping in the distance... perhaps advertisements for food being shown on TV? I look to the sky, a gunshot rings out somewhere. I think to myself, "America." Yes, this is America. I feel a single tear. Freedom.

10 deaths, 105 injuries so far since 2006. Waiting for this years numbers.

blackfridaydeathcount.com/

NEET reporting. I've been laying in bed for five weeks now. I smoke pot, eat, and chat online. I ate too much a couple weeks ago and took a massive shit that clogged the toilet. I busted the clog with a gallon of detergent but never plunged it so I'm still shitting in bags. I had thanksgiving alone for the third year in a row with my two cats. Yesterday I'd planned to eat a can of jelly over the sink for thanksgiving but discovered that I'd accidentally eaten the last can a few days prior, so yesterday I ate some yogurt, granola, bananas, and this microwave coconut brownie.

>Shopper opens fire, killing one, over Walmart parking spot in Reno, NV

>Reno

all that needs to be said

LIVIN' LARGE

>what is fake news?
They shot them just to watch them die, user.

kolotv.com/content/news/One-dead-near-Reno-Walmart-as-road-rage-incident-turns-deadly-police-say-402947846.html

Corned beef hash is my jam yo. I'm running the Dark Side half marathon next year.

upvoted, unironically

>I can hear occasional outbursts of clapping in the distance... perhaps advertisements for food being shown on TV?
Fucking kek

running is the dumbest exercise in the world.

Please kill yourself.

I haven't had a leftover turkey sandwich yet

That's really fucking slow, that's slower than my 10K time

A 55 minute 8k is walking speed

Whatever I'm proud of it.

Ok soyboy

Eat my dick

Gladly

What about your pussy (male)?

Had a milkshake stout before dinner
Had another one before dinner
Then my mom brought out champagne so I had a glass of that
Then my brother in law brought an even stronger stout so I had one of those
Then we had dinner. I had a few pieces of turkey, mostly dark meat, a big pile of stuffing and mashed potatoes slathered in gravy, some cranberry jelly (the delicious shitty kind from a can), big scoop of mac and cheese, half a sweet potato, and a small scoop of that good awful green bean casserole out of politeness.
Felt like I was going to die, got home a couple hours after eating and just laid in bed in pain for a few hours then went to sleep.

My neighbors felt bad for me because they knew I was all alone and brought me a plate of food; it was a nice gesture but unexpected so of course I had to make the mad dash of throwing clothes/praying nothing embarrassing is out on before I answered the door since I never get visitors.

I got:
turkey
asparagus
mashed potato
stuffing (which was excellent)
pecan pie

All of which I gobbled down in less than five minutes because I had not eaten that day. I'm also not sure how they knew I was going to be alone without eating, I guess I'm more obvious than I think.

Your neighbors sound like nice people, user. In what form was the asparagus?

I spent last night with my cat since my family lives very far away. Didn't get a single text or call the whole day.

Ultimately it was alright, since I bought some cornish hens and coocked them up, shared with the cat. So far she has proven to be a better companion to me than any human has ever been.

yeah cats are good companions. Some better than others. I'm still really lonely with a cat though so I think I'm gonna pick up a dog some day here soon. Maybe that will fill the yawning void in my heart.

Don't forget to get back at them at for christmas

>Corned beef hash is my jam yo
back to l.eddit with you, faggot

I had the flu yesterday and ate basically nothing. Just oolong and this bland porridge my Korean roommate made for me which he said invalids eat back home. So I'm about 5lb lighter.

I made the same mistake of getting a dog along with a car last year. They both seemed to be friendly to each other but i came home from school that day and the dog had my cats neck in its mouth. Nothing I tried stopped him, they both ended up dying that night.

>The joke
>your head

>doing something our species has been conditioned to do over our entire history
>dumb
K.

im sure you'll burn it off before christmas

t. hamplanet

How did you prepare the hens? Post pics of cat

you sound so fucking cool
what kind of projects are you working on right now

t. 300+ lb & 5ft 10

samefag