You are boiling a boneless skinless chicken breast when this man sprinkles a pinch of cayenne over your girl

Jamie Oliver couldn't beat himself in a fist fight.

naw dude, have you seen chef john's hands? they are the type of fat hands that would knock a nigga out if someone got in the way of his cayenne.

I promptly kiss him passionately and deeply

Any proof Chef John was born outside the U.S.?

He's mentioned being uncircumcised in several videos

This seems unbelievable.

Some say he has a nuclear warhead stuffed in his underwear just in case.

I woULd stARt talKINg in a hyPNOtic sINg-sONg.

I'd give him the olllllll tappa tappa, if you know what I mean

He sometimes cooks in the nude too and there are a few videos where you can see his junk reflecting in things around the kitchen.
The microwave oven is especially revealing when he deigns to use it.

tell him I voted for donald trump

>boiling a chicken breast
no im not

No one poaches a chicken breast

>remember, you are the Quinton Flynn - of your intact foreskin.

r e k t
e
k
t

call him out for getting paid to shill products in his youtube videos and watch him chimp out

You memes... end here

BTK?

FrrrreEESHHllyy ground BLAaack pepper!

Gee, boss! How am I supposed to catch the BTK killer? I'm just a bag of popcorn!

>not wanting him to ram you on a Silpat brand baking sheet

he's a cuckold in chastity. Him and his wife are on fetlife.

gonna need sources on that claim

(i wouldnt even be surprised)

...

>le cayenne man

Cooking in the nude is a bold gamble.

proofs?

Legend has it he used human meat in place of veal once

im not familiar with ck memes, but what is wrong with a pinch of cayenne pepper on chicken

Shit, I live in the US and my mother said "why would I cut a bit off of my kid" and didn't do it. I remain intact. It happens, sometimes.

remember when Ja/ck/ got bamboozled and put cayanne pepper in his eye to "cure" himself of pinkeye?

bless your mom

He mentioned crossing the boarder with Canada several times when he was younger in one of his last videos

Fuck you

No he went to canada for booze and strippers

It was literally his last video you mong

Open up, big boi

"""poach""" myself then

I'm white and was born in the US and am not circumsized because my parents didn't get pressured into abiding by some barbaric Jewish ritual. Feels good to not be mutilated.

...

Any chance you were born in the South, possibly the really anti-semitic part?

underrated post

I love Chef John, made his miracle fudge yesterday and it turned out great

his recipes are really good and easy to follow desu

Wonder how some random skank and chef john ended up in my neet attic

I'd shove ghost pepper puré up his ass

It only gives him more power.

ADD CAYENNE TO EVERYTHING

Hot roux cold milk no lumps!

I'm sure you've all heard the rumours about Chef John being into weird shit and having a fetlife account? Well I'm here to tell you it is all true because I have had sex with Chef John, kind of.

Basically me and my wife used to be into this sort of fetish swinging and we'd often attend interesting parties in California, not too far from San Francisco. Anyway, every so often we'd go to this one place at the house of a woman my wife met at work. It was a nice place, pretty big with lots of rooms. Anyway the theme of this particular night was 'Cerviche Cumming' where everyone would cover themselves in citrus juices and fuck whilst pretending to be pieces of fish in a Cerviche Salad.

I was in the kitchen rubbing lemon juice over myself whilst watching my wife have her pussy eaten by a man dressed as a Buddhas Hand when this fucking disgusting fat naked guy with a creepy moustache came in, looking really nervous and unsure of himself. He was completely naked and smelt like a combination of Grapefruit and heat (which I assume now was from Cayenne) which made my eyes water so much that I missed my wifes leg spasms. Anyway the fat guy looked at my wife getting her pussy eaten and walked over to her face and lifted his stomach to get to his penis which he tried rubbing on her face. She looked disgusted as fuck and said something to him and he walked away looking nervous.

Later on she said that the guy had rubbed his cock on her whilst saying something about 'shaker shaker' or something, and that his penis was no more than 2 inches fully erect and tasted kind of like butter and celery mixed with burnt flour. On the way out the next day we saw a Chefs Coat hanging next to the door but apparently nobody knew where it came from.

I'm making his shepherds pie right now, I'll tell you how it turns out

Doesn't sound like the Chef John I know. Your asshole would register as a seismic level event if he decided to lay waste to it. Consider yourself fortunate he hasn't torn you asunder.

I'd fight him off with a freakishly small wooden spoon

I wish I still had my woody hoody. But I was saying it seems unbelievable that he mentioned it in a video, not that he wasn't circumcised.

> boiling
> skinless
> chicken breast

It's okay OP, I'd already be dead inside anyway. Maybe a little cayenne would do me good.

>tfw black and uncircumsized because my parents felt it was my choice
>every time someone makes an uncircumsized joke or insult I just laugh it off and pretend like I'm circumsized
Why the fuck is this so stigmatized holy shit

>boiled chicken

BITCH I AIN'T MAKING NO SOUP

>chicken breast.

I'M A FUCKING LEG MAN!

Post pics of your weenie cheese.