Remember your first handjob in the 8th grade? Try some of this. It takes you right back to that feeling. Holy shit...

I didn't get a handjob til college. Got a blowjob in 12th grade though
Life is weird

Im tryna get hand jobs

>just got an Oberweis shop built in my town
No thanks, I'm good forever. Their chocolate peanut butter ice cream is all I need. Also cinnamon.

Oh man, both of those oberweis flavors are so good, just not quite my favorite

It's mediocre shit with a couple decently creative flavors. Everybody in Texas just loves the shit out of it because it's all we had for a hundred years and we're used to it. Other regional brands like Tillamook are denser and don't use HFCS. Hell, to be honest even Haagen-Dazs and fucking Ben and Jerry's beats Blue Bell in quality.

Do self-handjobs count?

isn't it called a fingering when you're a girl?

>Remember your first handjob in the 8th grade?
No because I'm not a degenerate who'd want some girl to jerk me off when I'm 12 years old

I make gud stuff with frozen bananas and much less saturated fat.

>Everybody in Texas just loves the shit out of it because it's all we had for a hundred years and we're used to it.
Yep. Generations of Americans have grown up knowing "that guy" from Texas who can't shut the fuck up about how great Blue Bell is. Then finally they try it at the recommendation of the Texan, and of course it tastes like public school lunch ice cream, and they get confused, and try it again, and they're even more confused, and then they read the ingredients and it's the same fucking garbage they put in Bryer's. And this is why everyone hates Texas.

It's basically the Shiner Bock of ice cream.

My favorite is the Listeria Ripple.

>majority of Veeky Forums spergs out because apparently getting a handjob by grade 8 is unreasonable

What the fuck were you dummies doing in grade 8? Those were PRIME handjob years.

I was watching anime and learning how to cook because my waifu wasn't very good at it.

> Remember your first handjob in the 8th grade?
That first handjob was pretty weak, honestly. No thanks, shill.

Silly user, there are no girls on this website, only dykes and trannies.

I waited til 10th grade and went straight to blowjob. What flavor of ice cream should I eat?

>Remember your first handjob in the 8th grade?

Unsatisfying isn't something you want associated with your product, back to the drawing board.

Tillamook is not denser and they have worse mix-ins. The taste is subjective but I would rate Tillamook very slightly ahead.

Yes. That is the equivalent.

I was more sexually active when I was 13 then when I was in college.

Of course at 13 it was all gay stuff.

lost my virginity at 16
didn't get my first handjob until 30ish

>Remember your first handjob in the 8th grade?
that slut I was dating back then let me do whatever I want.

Don't you fucking EVER insult based Shiner.

>coastals BTFO because they don't have their own tasty delicious icecream to call their own

i was getting bullied

Really? Anything? How was it? Did she have daddy issues?

Being fat and playing Halo 2 until midnight with my buddies.

My first handjob in 8th grade sucked. It was from some fat fishmouthed feminist.

>unironically liking handjobs
what is wrong with you people

they always have recalls for listeria

>Yep. Generations of Americans have grown up knowing "that guy" from Texas who can't shut the fuck up about how great Blue Bell is. Then finally they try it at the recommendation of the Texan, and of course it tastes like public school lunch ice cream, and they get confused, and try it again, and they're even more confused, and then they read the ingredients and it's the same fucking garbage they put in Bryer's. And this is why everyone hates Texas.

This is literally what happened to me

FUCK YOU BLUE BELL IS AS FAR FROM AVERAGE AS POSSIBLE, IF YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND BLUE BELL YOU'RE A BRAINLET WHOS NEVER BEEN BRENHAM TEXAS.

I mean considering I was 15 it was pretty much anything
>anal
>throatfucking
>facial abuse
>aggressive biting
>choking
>flogging
>she was going to induce lactation for me
>public fucking
>she liked having a knife held to her throat while railing her
And I mean maybe she did, her dad was a schitzo and a literal cuckhold who blamed space aliens for the trailer rocking back and forth while I was cumming in his daughter.

>the trailer

you can take the white guy out of the trash but you can't take the trash out of the white guy. [spoiler]is it bad that I get nostalgic about it sometimes?[/spoiler]

I don't know, don't be ashamed of what you are, be yourself.
[spoiler]Your story of trailer trash teenagers having degrading sex just by their parents happened to remind of the stories my grandmother used to tell me about how degenerate white people are. So thanks.[/spoiler]

>trailer trash teenagers
No, see that's the real tragedy user, she was trailer trash, I was upper middle class, I plunged my benis into the filth because she let me act out my degenerate teenage fantasies like none of the nice girls would. I'm a weak man user.

And black people are not degenerate?
Dream on, nigger.

I was playing minecraft with my friends in grade 8, my man.

Didn't get my first handjob till grade 10

normies get out