Where the chefs at??

Show a plate youve done this week or piss off

r8 me kake fellow 4chins
me made it me self

...

Venison chili with pinto beans and homemade tortillas and hot sauce.

Sick
I know who u r
Keep on posting OC my nigga

I made myself a hashbrown breakfast. Does that count?

New Zealand lamb chops, goat cheese polenta, sauteed baby kale, romesco sauce.... Paired with a big Cabernet, was delicious.

Pan fried porkchop with green onions, onions, garlic, ginger and portabella mushrooms.

Learned to make yakisoba this week, am pretty proud. Excuse the plating, as this batch was for husbando’s bento lunches.

Not a chef, but I like the way this turned out.

what the fuck is it

shakshuka

i see eggs, olives, cheese in some sort of sauce. id try some

Yep. Sauteed bell pepper, onions, and diced chillis with mashed up san marzanos, cumin and paprika, eggs, kalamatas, and French semi-soft cheese.

>bell pepper, onions, chilis, san marzanos, eggs, kalamatas, cheese

These ingredients sort of work together. I'm not 100% on what you're doing here, but carry on.

It's a pretty established recipe. Shakshuka.
Thank you for your blessing.

well that's different

Working on a few ideas, this is pork belly braised with anises, fennel, cardamoms, coriander, soy, and arbols. then heritage carrot shreds and watercress dressed in pomelo
I was thinking of adding some sort of a root puree/crisp to this as well for textural depth. Perhaps snowdrop carrot puree and a pomme gaufrette with five spice

could do without the skid marks next time, a drizzle would look more appetizing

Joe Rogan would be proud.

Thats a sexy plate brother

OP.. round 2
Carolina gold rice pudding with blue crab, grilled okra and fried capers

>Pan, nice but not hot enough

does it usually come with toilet paper?

>Not a chef
Yes we see that

>>wants to add root for texture
>>puree

???

Yeah, I'm a home cook. Are you a chef?

I am a professional home hobby chef.

Did you require my advice on something?

a-user, he's making fun of your cooking skills...

Isn't "professional hobbyist" an oxymoron? Are you paid to cook or not?

yes, what the fuck is a "professional" home "hobby" chef

Thanks, I understand that. I was making a play to see how deep his pretension goes.

I am paid in complements, good sir.

Exactly what it sounds like. I professionally, as a hobby, am classically self trained in the culinary arts of home cooking.

So it's a savory rice pudding? Is it sweetened?

It looks really nice.

Still not seeing how "professionally" fits in. How is cooking for yourself or friends and family a profession?

If you require clarification I can escalate your question to my supervisor.

Are there any food related questions I can assist you with?

>>complements

guy can't even spell, idk why you expect him to be able to know what "professional" means

I didn't say I was a professional writer.

>Shitty, sideway picture
0/10

I think this would be cooler if the strips of sauce ran parallel to grain of the pork belly so the two stripe patters echoed one another.

imagine being so self conscious about your job that you take pictures to post anonymously online to try to get praise. you suck, you don't know how to use Veeky Forums, and you'll fail

it's spelled anuses

how do you still not know how to post

What do you think, m8s? Beef stew with red wine, mustard dumplings and cheese and spring onion mash.

looks like a white bowl that you didn't clean well with some brown stew and mashed potatoes. color looks like you used too much wine as well

looks fucking good to a noob like me.

Thanks, you too. It's just a hobby but one I get a lot out of. It was genuinely delicious though. Here's something else I made that also turned out really great in my opinion, pic related:

Used an 11 spice dry rub and the next day made a Jack Daniel's sticky sauce to cook it in.

>too much wine

gravy only looks a little thin for my taste. Also undercooked onions.
Has me hungry though.

>>too much wine
yes it looks like it would be very over powering

Some beef stew and mashed potatoes? I'd grub on that. If you can get some Yukon gold or redskin potatoes though, those are choice. You don't have to peel them. 6/10, upgrade the mash to redskins or yukons, it moves up to a 7/10

I've got to agree on both points. Next time I would definitely use less wine. I used an entire bottle.

See above. Agree, too much. Not sure how to thicken, could have used more flour I guess.

>Not sure how to thicken
depends how you cook it. do you hard boil it for a while before simmering? if not do that. if you already do that, do it longer. save some drippings from the beef to put in to thicken it up as well

my main criticisms at first were just that stew will never look good or bad while plated, it will just look like stew.

I see what you mean. Tasted good though, so that's something. Nah, I just fried some stuff in a big pan then added wine and stock and set to simmer. Will boil some next time, thanks for the advice.

Not a chef, but i'd like to post here anyway.

Looks like it would taste good, bit I'd be more inclined to poach the egg and serve atop the risotto. You preserve the runny yolk that way, which could play well with the broth in the risotto.

thanks. Good idea. I'm just playing around with incorporating eggs into risotto.
My eggs probably wouldn't have been fresh enough to poach well.

Whoa,cool

Ani, actually

Doesn't look great, potentially tastes gooood

>skid marks

agreed, my first impression also was that it looks like shitstains.

also, why the fuck would you stand up the pork belly, rather than lay them down. they will probably fall during serving.

fucking beautiful, how'd a nitwit like you get so tasteful.

this looks good too.

forgot to mention one of the nice parts about it is that i didn't overboil the egg yolk. so it's firm but it's consistency is more like a fudge than a chalk.

So the yolk melts inside slightly into the warm risotto.

and outside it :^)

fucka you!
at least my plate is clean if my counter isnt

kek

this is some michelin starred trolling

that's not 'risotto', it's rice.

die in a grease fire.
Risotto is a rice dish.
If you're not going to explain what is wrong with it, then shut the fuck up.

that is too much

shut the fuck up then.

Not him, but it looks like you're taking pics of your pig slop hoping some "famous chef" tells you to lick his boots. Nothing personal kid, but...

Oh i see another person with no knowledge of cooking, or actual criticism has commented.
Here's your reply.
Before you consider responding actually come up with some specific flaws.

>no color
>way too large of a carb portion
>nothing but risotto and sauce on the perimeter
>really shitty random perimeter for what
>all the toppings on the inside
>not a clean serving bowl
>way to large of a carb portion
>what the fuck are you doing with those greens
>dude it's all white in the middle you're supposed to stir it all to eat it I guess
>couple brown things but not much
>uneven levels of sauce and risotto
how's that

like the colors.

>Way too large a carb portion
It's fucking risotto. infact the portion size is actually misleading as fuck as i flatten the risotto, out.
>no color
What color do you expect dishit, it's not a steak, it's not fried food.
Stop treating it like it's a piece of meat dumbass.

>Pic related
This is the carb portion you are criticizing, it looks like a lot because i shake the plate and flatten it out, it is the exact same plate as this. Just in a different lighting

KYS

>KYS
great argument, glad you ended well.

poorly mixed
poorly mixed and way too many retard drunk sprinkled greens on top
plus
>dude it's all white in the middle you're supposed to stir it all to eat it I guess
>couple brown things but not much
>uneven levels of sauce and risotto
>really shitty random perimeter for what
>all the toppings on the inside

0% chance this plate is as much as

>not a clean serving bowl
Based on having fresh parsley around the edges?
are you really this autistic? It's not leftover food or stains.
>way too large a carb portion
this is the main dish first of all, and it's a risotto after it's been shaken, so it looks like it's more than it actually is.
>what the fuck are you doing with those greens
sprinkling it on top for presentation. I could mix it in but i decided not to.
>white stuff in the middle
****Parmigianno Reggiano*****
yes you are supposed to stir it in just like the parsley.
>couple brown things but not much
Look twice, the only criticism you should have here is the porcini isnt all the same size.
>uneven levels of sauce and risotto
First off the "Sauce" is the part of the risotto. It's not like i'm making risotto then pouring sauce on it.
You could just say it's too wet, or too dry. Not some stupid shit like uneven levels of risotto and "Sauce"

You're not even qualified to give criticism, based upon what you've pulled out of your ass.

it is exactly the same portion of food.
i just shook the plate. pic related
when you shake the plate it looks like a lot more than it actually is.

>Drunk sprinkled greens
i've never heard someone refer to italian parsley that way.

risotto is quite sneaky isn't it.

Duck breast. Red pepper oculus. Snap pea. Poached pear and duck confit and humboldt fog stuffed vol Au vents. Also mushrooms and shit

>Based on having fresh parsley around the edges?
>are you really this autistic? It's not leftover food or stains.
yes, you can't serve that at a restaurant it looks like ass
>this is the main dish first of all, and it's a risotto after it's been shaken, so it looks like it's more than it actually is
it's way too much
>sprinkling it on top for presentation. I could mix it in but i decided not to.
it looks like ass and sprinkling it in would make it look way worse
>****Parmigianno Reggiano*****
>yes you are supposed to stir it in just like the parsley.
served unready to eat, it's shit and looks like shit
>Look twice, the only criticism you should have here is the porcini isnt all the same size.
k
>First off the "Sauce" is the part of the risotto. It's not like i'm making risotto then pouring sauce on it.
You could just say it's too wet, or too dry. Not some stupid shit like uneven levels of risotto and "Sauce"
presentation is ass, I said it was ass. Mail it to me and I'll tell you how it tastes, but from here it looks like shit

>Where the chefs at??
>Show a plate youve done this week or piss off
do you serve this in a restaurant? because I am critiquing restaurant service and yours is very very bad

voila
these are the same portions

you are so assmad. what restaurant are you chef of? I will visit

>you cant serve that at a restaurant
There are dozens of restaurants which garnish the rim of the plate with herbs or spices.
>it's way too much
it's less than a cup of rice you bitch, and it's the main dish.

the rest of your criticisms are literally.
>hurrr durrr looks like asss
>looks like shit
with no depth or valid points.
>served unready to eat
Do you know how many things are served unready to eat, do you go to a seafood restaurant and complain that your crablegs havent been taken out of the shell?
it's as simple as mixing it in dipshit.

According to you this would be "unready to eat"
>hurrr durr he didn't mix the sauce egg and rice together, it's unready to eat
Thats how stupid you are, clown.
refer to this

what restaurant are you chef of?

Holy shit, I've never seen anyone so defensively assblasted about criticism of their goddamned plate of risotto. You're literally worse than an italian grandma. You're the faggot that was talking about how you sold your risotto under the table and everyone was sucking your dick for it a couple of months ago, right?

>the rest of your criticisms are literally.
>>hurrr durrr looks like asss
>>looks like shit
>with no depth or valid points.
>>served unready to eat
>Do you know how many things are served unready to eat, do you go to a seafood restaurant and complain that your crablegs havent been taken out of the shell?
>it's as simple as mixing it in dipshit.
yes you pathetic retard this is an imageboard I can't taste your food, I am telling you how it looks

what restaurant are you chef of

>ramen/fast food posters think they can provide legitimate advice to someone that actually knows what he's doing

i've never sold my risotto
I have had a friend buy the ingredients for me just so i could make it for his family on short notice
>I am telling you how it looks
while still making dipshit criticisms like "its unready to eat"
you should know by now im not a chef, in my first post i stated i do not work at a restaurant.

why are you posting in this thread?

imagine going on a cooking board and posting possibly the most relevant type of thread there could be instead of fast food or webms. this isn't /b/, take your edge back there

cause other people who aren't chefs did, and there is no dinner general currently.

>see a thread for chefs
>gets mad for being told you're not a good chef
>continue to post because you're a retard
>can't afford all $0 to make your own thread
your food sucks loser and you know it sucks. if you thought it was any good you would've made your own thread

imagine being so mad at the quality of threads yet you don't make any threads of quality

i could probably outcook you.
you're talking to someone who knows more, does more, and is above you.
post your cooking then. WOW me

95% of the time those who talk shit to me, don't post their own food, or are less skilled.

>have had a friend buy the ingredients for me just so i could make it for his family on short notice

You ARE that guy, lol, you fucking faggot.

I am that superior cook to you buddy.