Date and or eating out pet peeves

Lol your funny for that. Its not made up its true! Now tell me some of your funny stories.

One time i went out with a friend who brought some girl that was second cousin or something.
At Marietta Diner.
Waitress is young Russian or slavic girl.
She seems upset and or pissed.
Mess around with her like "i want b water with Ron temperature of 67 degrees."
Me and friend laughing saying absurd b things like. I want 2 slices of cheese on the burger 1 on top 1 on very bottom with exactly 3 pickles.
Cousin starts apologizing.
Im like apologize for what? She can tell were just screwing around we made it very obvious by us laughing.
Says we're rude and blah blah.
Tell her when i was a water i would laugh at that shit. Cause i know what a real rude customer is like.
Gets upset abd stops talking. Made our fun time into a boring ass lunch.

I wish redditors would at least learn what greentexting is before writing their shitty stories here.

I wish you could read so you could see that i said i was on my phone. And that's i would love. To read yours and cks funny stories about restaurants

I greentext on my phone all the time

>green text
'Sup, Reddit?

Not any of these anons but there wasn't always a time on Veeky Forums when you could greentext.
If that's the only way you can read things please seek further education.

What a surprise, OP is an insufferable faggot.

>t. came here for the 2016 election

Why. Because i. Don't like kissing fish breath roasties? You eat fish on any date. Your automatically garbage. Fish stinks. And to purposely eat Stinky food before you get to know them is insulting.

Take your shit stained ass back to /pol/ Rahul we don't want you here.

thinly veiled shit/pol/ting thread? cool!

bad thread desu

>Thinks getting to know someone means that entitles them to kissing that night
Man high school is going to be rough for you in a few years

How is this pol related? Post funny stories! Or. Do you never go out? I know. You work at restaurants to and have funny customers

Your dubs are wasted. This actually did happen in highschool 8 years ago. It was called college aka daycare dor big kids. Dropped out svc started working after 1 year.

>date
>doesn't even kiss
lmao do you really go on dates just to enjoy food

Yeah I’d like a chicken BLT 4for4, no mayo or cheese on it, add mustard, and with a Coke to drink please.

None of this shit happened tho did it

That did happen. Is it really a surprise to you that some white chick would try to act all offended for others? Because many of your sisters sleep with Black men just to show how progressive they are.

13 year old pallet, cant eat fish

>13 year old pallet

be me bored when some roastie chick asks me out, again, like always
rolling my eyes but whatever
she tells me she's from denmark... what a stupid fucking bitch
she says she's got a groupon for a really fancy meal that only cost her 95 ameribucks
using groupon, 2017, i should have just slapped her and left
walk into the restaurant and immediately i smell like vinegar and seared hamachi
what the fuck??
everything smells like fresh fish
first dish is fucking hamachi collar
I just stare at her while she devours it
fried foods and eating fish, you know the downstairs situation is going to be terrible right away ,can't think about anything else
then they wheel out just a bunch of raw fish for the second course
wrapped in sea garbage and rice
this roasties eating dried sea garbage that disgusting fish shit in
her vagina must be super nasty
i just slowly push away from the table and leave without saying a word
slash her tires on my way out
what the fuck is wrong with women these days, and how the fuck are these restaurants open that involve the ocean in any way? thats the real mystery

Phones. Yes, I know it's 2017, but you don't need to reply to your sister's text about the funny thing her cat did in the middle of the fucking date. Put it on silent, and go check in the bathroom every 30 minutes if you have to. 90% of these people are not on-call doctors or have kids with a babysitter. Pattering on your phone during the first 3 dates is really insulting and basically saying "I'd rather fuck off on my phone than interact with you"

I've been here since 2011 or so and I never knew that. Never heard it mentioned. Learning is fun.

I laughed real hard at that one.
Yeah, i dont get why people are so obsessed with their phones. Any date i go on if a women checks her phone for text i am just leaving.

But i got another funny story now that im home i can green text

>be me. old "friend" wants to meet up so i drive 20 minutes to his city.
>Hey lets go eat at this one place i hear its really good.
>Arrive at place, looks run down, but hey whatever it may be good.
>We order some soup, it is actually really good.
>Friend stops eating, as he is bringing spoon up to his mouth. Looks at spoon.
>Fucking ant is dead in the soup.
>he WAITS for a waiter to arrive instead of asking for one so me and the rest are eating and looking out for any bugs in ours now.
>waiter finally shows up friend ask for a replacement and gets one.
>Find ANOTHER ant in his food. At this point i would have raised hell to get my money back and to inform others that they have fucking ants in their food.
>he just picks the ant out and refuses to complain. Still ends up paying.
>As i leave i say out loud. I cant believe they had 3 fucking ants in your food man.
>hear other peoples disgust and overhear one saying she wants a refund.

Fucking dont understand people who dont say anything. Really? just because you like it means they should get away with that type of shit? Whats it take a live cockroach in your meal?

some people would rather just be trod on than even slightly inconvenience people. I had a coworker once that couldn't even dream of asking for easy substitutions in customizable foods because of a worry about appearing fussy (he couldn't eat dairy so instead of just saying 'no cheese' he'd order whatever didn't have it on it naturally).

Once he had a cashier give him a 5 dollar bill when he should have gotten a 10 and I asked him about it and he was just like 'no it's fine I can't prove it' and I just stood up and told the cashier and he was like oh fine and gave him his additional five and apologized and he was SO MAD at me for that

You're fucking stupid. Lurk more and learn how to greentext newfag.

*BRAAAAAAAAP*

*SNIFF SNIFF*

MMM YUMMY

>women orders fish so her pussy and body doesn't smell like death from meat
>Her date goes autistic
>she offers sex he declines
>All he can think about is fish
>Mfw

>t. beefcuck
god your shits must smell terrible. sorry you have such pleb tier tastes. enjoy your estrogen hormones. i'll just be over here enjoying my delicious wild caught natural fish.

Seriously dude, your palate's shit, fish only smells if it's bad. There are few things in this world better than good seafood. And word up, pussies smell. Your balls smell, why the fuck does it matter if a pussy has a little funk? As long as it ain't like surströmming, what's the problem?

Why are you obsessed with fish, nationality, and vaginal smell? Reading what you write you sound like an asshole.

He's a sperg. What can you expect. A nice white fish paired with a fine white wine is excellent eating

fpbp

posting dem fantasies

i get dates and can relate to these stories haha

dude it does not need to be a date with women. I posted a story of me and my old "friends"

sure dont laugh at life or share funny stories. just bitch and moan on internet

scandis detected. Go back to your frozen wasteland where you have to eat fish that is rotted and put in snow for 3 months.

T im not gonna share funny life experiences and just will make everyone around me misterable.

Another funny short story ill share.

>Be me on lunch break want pho.
>go to Pho restaraunt at 11 AM before all the regular 9-5 cucks show up.
>sit down at table that can seat 4 people.
>eating my food and relaxing cause i got a large pho and spring rolls.
>all the normies start stockpiling in.
>Place gets filled up real fast.
>Me single, eating at a table that can seat 4 or 6.
>see entire groups of 6 people come in. And they dont wanna sit next to me at all and so they just leave.
>No fucks given im enjoying my delicious pho.
>Give a tip of 2.00 because im not a white americansky and can get away with.
>MFW the entire time.

THE ABSOLUTE STATE OF NORMAL FAGS!

So real

Wow, i live like 10 min from marietta diner. What a small world.

>date ate fish
>me don't like fish
>date scary
>me ran away
Good story, user.

They're all texting because they don't want to talk to you and only you. As soon as you get home the mobile phones are back in their pockets

Lol yerp and a larper

Don't worry the story is bulls hit

You have a very elaborate fantasy life m8, a bit sad

Seriously why do you come here and make up these stupid stories?

Are you 12?

OP is such a faggot I couldn't even enjoy his made up stories ironically. Stop fucking saying roastie you virgin fat fuck

All these people come to be jealous and say its fake.

Yet are suc social recluses they cant even share a simple fucking story of a time they went out with their family. or friends.

Again white ppl are such garbage they cant even enjoy their own family. I bet they will send mommy and daddy to die in a nursing home. And when its their turn they will say something like "BUT I WAS A GOOD PARENT!"

fish is gross.

10 yr old detected. quite obvious you cant fucking read it was a group of 10 ppl. and ALL OF THEM were doing this each other. study more on reading and not from fucking Veeky Forums go read your damn book assignment.

This place is filled with female plebbitors.

>ask girl out for date
>go to a nice place
>she wants to go to somewhere less expensice even though im paying
>try to convince her to stay because I really want the food at this place
>end up going to some other place
I don't get it, if youre not paying why the fuck do you care where someone offered to take you for a meal.

Not a pet hate story but still
>ask absolute bombshell out for lunch
>she agrees (i was convinced it was a set up and people woud laugh at me when i got there)
>i suggest somewhere nice
>she insists on this place that opened up near her
>whatever
>get there
>didnt get laughed at
>all going well
>she orders the kids nuggets meal
>alrighty then
>jokingly tease her about being a child
>food comes out
>She dips her nugget in sauce and is about to eat it
>make another joke about her being a child
>she laughs and drops the saucy nugget on her dress
>sauce everywhere
>bitch starts sulking and carrying on like an actual 5 year old for the rest of the meal
>take her home and still make a few more jokes about her being a 5 year old
>she is getting annoyed at them now but she started calling me daddy
>have sex
>drop her off to school the next day
>teachers give me weird looks

Lol no but I don't get actually insulted if my date orders the red snapper

When do you say you were just acting retarded and you were le ebil mastermind all along making us think you were stupid

Honestly if somebody asked me about my race and then refused to answer about theirs, then started lying about their race while making stereotypes about mine, I'd be incredibly irritated and would start arguing with them, or leave.

>phoneposting

Faggot

Nice instant reply there, i think someone's Almonds are Activated!

I like the idea that OP is an is an insufferable asshole who does incredibly rude things and then starts commanding people around and telling them how to think or behave, but he doesn't realize that everyone's just confused and annoyed by his pointless desire to control every situation with useless judgements and rules.
Like, even the fact that he didn't bother to format his post because 'fuck greentext on phone' for no real reason, he's just weird and socially incompetent and when other people don't enjoy his dumb behavior he just retreats and outwardly judges them for not playing second fiddle to his anti-social behavior.
And that's if his stories are real, if they aren't then he really is a weird asshole daydreaming about being difficult in social situations.
He also has a really bad sense of humor. I don't know, I'm really interested in this character of his, he just has no consideration, isn't fun, and seems to thrive on controlling every situation by being impenetrable and rude and blaming others for not loving it.

Your not Mexican Stacey. Its plain and simple facts. If i go to China and live there 20 yrs. Do my genes magically change and my brown skin turns yellow? Will my eyes turn from round to slants? Exactly

I do like being rude to other Mexicans. When Spanish is being spoken near me. I like to say in Spanish that the language of Spanish is the devil's language and that im going to call immigration. It is very funny to me.

I don't try to control anything though. Why. Try to control that which i cannot? Waste of time. Im Also not rude at all. Or. Judging like you. I mind my own business.

I bet your the kind of person who brings fish to the office and stinks up the place. You are just so use to the awful stench of fish and fish markets. That you have no idea how bad the smell is. Maybe you should shower.

So basically we have someone who takes people on dates and then spends his time thinking about how their vagina might taste based on what they're eating, can't tolerate the smell of an entire protein group, and tries to be as difficult as possible leaving the people he's with no opportunity to have a conversation that doesn't revolve around his complaints about them.

I'm more concerned about how you grilled her on race, wouldn't answer her questions, and immediately revolved all your words around insulting her sensibilities which she was trying to be open about.
I mean I'm not defending her or anything, but you've got a really weird and impersonal train of thought, all these stories are basically you taking the conversation in an insulting direction and then calling them crazy while you daydream about what their vagina might taste like based on what they're eating. I think you like to argue more than you realize, and a lot of people don't find that fun or attractive on a date. Or as a greentext story. You just demand a lot of control flr being difficult for no real reason.

>Believing Veeky Forums fanfiction fantasy

I'm just saying all these stories are just you being rude and people not liking it.

I'm enjoying them, please more whack ass stories OP. These people here are probably all boomer redditors by the looks of it.

Great thread

Fuck you. No i don't. But fish is the exaxt opposite of aphrodisiac. She could have ate pho or anything else even a piece of bread and cheese and i would have no sexual thoughts about the food or body odor. Fish stinks! Get over it ok. I hope you go out with friend or date and they start eating entire garlic cloves and tell me you don't b have thoughts about how bad they are gonna stink

>not liking seafood
Goddamn it I'm embarrass by my country. So many midwest little bitches.

In their defense it’s probably difficult/impractical to get seafood a thousand miles from the source.
>coastal education

Ok let me think for a sec. I get to work 2 hrs before any 1 else so.
ook

> be me ask friend to go out to eat. He's cambodian and very funny says racist shit in public
> have korean friend who is the same.
> go to Korean food restaraunt we order our food friend knows owner.
> boomer fucks arrive with their wifes son and shit
> ask my friends if they would ever raise another man's child.
> they say fuck no and we start talking shit about americans and how they accept cuck culture.
> pretty much talking about this stuff and how americans worship hollywood and accept nasty trannies.
> both friends talk about how in their countries ppl get beat up for trying to hit on you if they are trannies.
> boomers upset and nervous. Because they can't talk like we do. Owner thanks us for showing up and being frequent guest.

That's just 1 story ill. Have to think of another. We talk pretty loud too about this stuff. Not yelling loud but we aint hiding it either

>weabo stuff

This meme is funny. I laughed i live hear the cost too. But would never live in cuckfornia or cuckington. Oregon who? Where?

Anyways enjoy your fish breath. Take like 5 mints and chew gum you stanky breath hipsters

Actually you two cuckoos just reminded me of a funny ass story when i was on the cuck coast

> be me visiting friends who lives in shitattle
> go to bar in downtown start drinking and talking.
> start saying shit just to laugh cause we drunk 2 amfs
> i start talking about how im gonna go home and hut my wife if the food is not ready when i get back we both laugh at the joke.
> some cuck over hears us and starts talking about how offensive. That was and i guess is hoping he will get laid for it.
> tell him to mind his own business
> say to friend. Ya know i think ill hit the kids too just because of that asshole.
> Hey pal you think your so tough huh! Bartender kicks him out for being loud. Asks us what happened.
> no idea we don't know that guy.
> tells hostess to never let that guy in again.

I don't think you understand what a joke is. You seem to be the type of guy who thinks that going to the ghetto and stepping on the Jays of nigger is a social experiment or a prank

Sauce on this semen demon?

Im not some white cuckold. I lived in those ghettos and that will get you killed. I think American societal norms are joke. And so is your foolish belief that sending our kids to die for israel will get you into heaven.

Are you gonna post funny stories orv what you damn boomer?

Im just going to tell you that I don't really care. But you do sound like a moron

You assume way too much, and I don't know why you've settled on the word 'boomer' as a word for anyone who doesn't like you.

Was this post generated by a neural network?

Is this you?

>”natural”

Marietta Diner the last time we went wasn’t remotely as good as it was the first two times. What the heck happened? They had to ask someone if they stocked real butter. Service was friendly but not great. I forget exactly what I ordered it was a combo with a different cut of steak - maybe London Broil? - and stuffed chicken I think. The steak was delicious, nothing else was really worth the money or the space in my stomach.

Are you a female? I’m starting to wonder if there really are some other females lurking on here because females make arrogant, condescending jabs and I think men usually make more blunt, aggressive jabs but usually seem either less arrogant or more extravagantly arrogant.

This made me laugh out loud. I love it on multiple levels.

You’re right that was underrated

>slashed her tires on the way out
LOL I could picture this in my head as I was reading. It was great.

Are you trolling? It's called greentext you idiot, it always has been.

>”friends”
Why did you put it in quotes like that? Are they your bi butt buddies or something?

>doesn't eat fish
Americans

No they were shitty friends who i honestly would not call friends. Just ppl that would do events that i could go to. Only a few i kept contact with. The rest were really not worth staying in contact with.

Are you gay or female? You sound like an insufferable cunt but I guess you could be a “male feminist” total cucked man too.

To sound this conceited and psychoanalyzing dumb stories on Veeky Forums while simultaneously being this insecure that you have to look down on others this hard... I just don’t see how you could not be one of those 3 things. Curious to know though!

I could agree that perhaps people find OP off putting/argumentative or not as funny as he thinks he is. But at the same time we are reading dumb stories on Veeky Forums. Even if real, it’s far from a full picture of what may have happened and OP is allowed to have personal preferences.