Just let the flavors drunkenly hook up only to regret it the next morning

>Just let the flavors drunkenly hook up only to regret it the next morning

>Seduce the onions for 5 minutes

>spank the turkey and call her.a dirty girl

>split the garlic vertically before coring

>strangle the nigger before hanging him

>bring the water to a steady stream of suicidal ideation

>Color the mixture with the forgotten wishes of a dead child.

>dice the water

>beat the egg whites until they develop PTSD and still have the scars of their childhood nearly 30 years later

Imbicile! Freeze it, then cut it,

>whip egg yolks and sugar until erect

>tfw you just reminded me of the Gogo comic
Hey, thanks.

>Test if it's done by sticking a fork up its ass.

>let the microwave do the work

>take the chicken for a nice walk on the beach and make it think you’re interested then don’t call back in order to tenderize the meat

>beat the egg whites as if they were egg blacks

>trick the bechamel by pretending to throw a ball but not actually throwing it so that it runs around, but don't do it so much that it loses faith in the game altogether

made quite a mess

boo

boo-urns

>allow the flavors to awkwardly participate in team building excecises at orientation, salt to taste

>Crack the pepper like Julie did to your tender, young heart

>Have the bread shoot the cheese and then have its mother say it was a gud boi he dindu nothin

I'm no Casa Nova. I'll admit it. But I've had a few one night stands and I've never woken up with dried sticky smelliness on my wiener and regretted it. And most of the flavors have been delicious even if they weren't because getting to eat is a good thing, right?

>serenade the steak

>romance the bone

>Tell the flavors you're taking them to Disney World but then take them to the dentist

...

delet

>just let the flavors elope in Vegas as a youthful act of rebellion only to find out marriage is a lot harder than either of them realized

SNEED

>beat the egg whites until stiff
What the fuck does this actually mean? I beat the shit out of the eggs and not once have they become "stiff"

hasn't this man been pretty much un-personed by everyone he knows

Do you even lift?

he unpersoned himself via a life long diet of trash

When you beat them enough, then pull the mixer out, it will form "stiff peaks".
This is as opposed to soft peaks, which curl downward more.

>mouthfeel

Why is this actually a word anyway? Is it just a sign of illiteracy that someone doesn't know the word "texture"?

Who knows man. I mean I understand that words can be made up but let's not make up a new word that both already has a word and sounds as fucking douchey as mouthfeel.

>just let the knife do 9-5 shifts at work for 35 years until its soul has been sucked out of them by the corporate rat race and it collapses of a heart attack at 63

>toothsome

Texture and mouthfeel is not the same.

>"I just can't explain how they're different!"
shut the fuck up.

How would you describe different types of wine then? Because they all have the same texture.

>all wines have the same texture, but feel different in my mouth
Just stop doing this man. Leave mouthfeel in the gutter where it belongs.

If they feel differently in your mouth, then they don't have the same texture.

"Mouthfeel" is like a baby's way of saying "texture" when they don't know the word.

kek

What the fuck? I despise stupid culinary meme words as much as the next guy, but 'mouthfeel' is a necesarry word, because we don't have another way to say it. It's not just a trendy term. Also, of fucking course mouthfeel and texture aren't the same.

He's dead now.

Well here we are again waiting for one of you mouthfeel lovers to explain the difference. Will today be the day you actually explain the difference?

>stiff peaks
try my stiff peak lol

>Still hasn't even tried to explain how texture is not the same as mouthfeel
You are a pleb and a joke. Go away.

>Also, of fucking course mouthfeel and texture aren't the same.
how

>milkshake recipe
>shake shake shake! shake what your momma gave ya! lol
Why do white women insist on doing this?

So no mouthfeel definition yet? Strange...

the visual or tactile surface characteristics and appearance of something

That's the meaning of texture, silly.

It's the good equivalent of tone

So no then...

I know that, I copied the Mirriam-Webster definition word for word.

>give the chicken thigh a hug, man

>baste the turkey like a master

>shoot a man before throwing him out of a plane

Taste? Flavour? Go fuck your mother?

>stir with tongue until fully erect

>Give that chicken the tender lovin' it never got from its daddy

>this recipe will bring the chicken back to life

Not him, but I'd describe mouthfeel as it pertains to wine as the viscosity, and how much it "bites".

I feel like texture is more applicable to solid food, but the mouthfeel of solid food also has to do with how "thick" something feels in your mouth.

I.e. mouthfeel is a subset of texture

That's a really pretty cat

>Crucifie the meat for 3 days until it vanishes

ARISE, CHICKEN. ARISE

>let the pan go to work, then have sex with the fridge

>Pay the rice a fair wage, but refuse any overtime hours

Mouthfeel is just a way of saying texture for people who think they are too high brow and experienced for words like texture and savory.

>say you'll be gentle with the beans only to vigorously slam them later.