I've been voluntold to make guacamole for an Xmas party. What makes good guacamole?

Buy 5 today, 5 tomorrow, 5 the next day, and hope that you have some decent avocados ripe on the day that you need them. Feel free to buy the junk in the tubs in the groceries by Dole, if you can't have actual ripe ones on the day.

Avocado, a roasted, peeled, and finely chopped jalapeno, chopped white onion, a couple chopped garlic cloves, two freshly squeezed limes, sprinkle salt and mash. Dice tomatoes and generously sprinkle salt and then gently fold into the guacamole.

Avocados
Diced Onions
diced fresh jalapenos
Lemon or Lime Juice
Garlic
Red Pepper

idk, but it could have changed the world

avocado smashed with minced garlic, salt, and lime juice.

fold in a pico de gallo of your choosing (usually i do tomato, white onion, jalapeno, little habanero, cilantro, lime juice, salt, and black pepper).

Don’t forget the tortilla chips. Bring a bag of those even if they didn’t explicitly tell you to because what the fuck else are you going to eat with guac? They’re cheap.

if I am out of chips I just slice the avacado into chunks and sprnkle lime juice then red pepper and garlic to stick against the chunks and eat with fork.

You can make chips quickly if you have corn tortillas by microwaving them for like 1.5min on a napkin. The flavor is slightly different because the corn is obviously not fried, but they'll do just fine in a pinch since the guac always overpowers the flavor of the chip.

Or you can just buy a bag of SanTitties for $2 at the store

>avocado
>onion
>tomato
>lime juice
>pepper
>salt
Add varying degrees of each to your tastes.

Mix it with a 3:1 ratio of sour cream. You’ll be an instant hit at your weird Christmas party.

add a little cum to it for fun

>Guacamole for a CHRISTmas party
>Calling it guacamole instead of the sissy “guac”
Are you a spic?

Does anybody actually say guac?

Avos, tomatoes, onions, some spices, tequila, mash it all up

>adding cum to sour cream
A little redundant today, aren’t we?

Most americans, the same kind of Tasty trash flyover that uses “veggies” as a substitute for vegetables
Them and Jeb! Bush

I say veggies but guac always sounded retarded to me.

Any I'm no spic, just a 100% potato nigger leaf who has the reputation of "the one who can cook" for his family whiskey tango Xmas party.

Perfectly ripe avocados, salt, lime juice, serrano chile, and a touch of minced cilantro.

Very good point, friend, but... if the store doesn't have any chips for some reason and you get/have corn tortillas, you can also cut them into quarters and fry them in canola oil at home. Don't forget to salt them once they come out!

>has the reputation of "the one who can cook"
I feel you, user, I fell you

Simpler is better, I usually stick to just pasted garlic, lime, salt, cilantro.

npr.org/sections/thesalt/2015/02/15/386409331/for-musician-jack-white-any-old-guacamole-just-wont-do

after going vegan (I cheat a little because bacon is so good xd) I have experimented in manny avocado recipes, after getting some inspiration at tasty and other awesome food networks I created the perfect guac:
>blend some avocados, you want the green ones, because the old ones get brown. use soy milk to make thing easer ^_^
>pour into a guac bowl and add cubed cream cheese, crispy bacon (CRISPY GOODNESS LOL), sharp cheddar, kale and siracha (dont add too much or else it would be too spicy!!!)
>no onion or lime cause their yucky (>_

Ok I've gotta ask; if you cheat with bacon, why bother? You know meat is good.

I said for fun, stop being such a culinary specialist

I hate you.

this post is deliberately bad but it still hurts as if it were serious all the same

>avocado
>salt
>pepper
>garlic
>mayo
>lime juice

>mayo
kys

>calling it Mayo instead of mayonnaise
>Using said "Mayo" on guacamole

Chunky guac is the best, and a bit of garlic can take it over the top

Get a molcajete, this is the most important part. makes for the best texture if you know what you're doing
All you really need is
>lime
>cilantro
>Tomato (optional)
>onion
>avocado
>salt
I like to grill my limes for a bit to caramelize the juice a bit. adds a tiny bit of sweetness
Then I put the cilantro in the molcajete and muddle it around a bit to release some of it's oils. Then you just put the avocado onion and a bit of salt in and mix to the desired consistency. once you're almost done check the flavor and squeeze some lime and put in some salt to taste

Follow this video. I've made guacamole at least 20 times and every time people have given it high praise.

youtu.be/vUkgvHQtwvc

2 avocados, 2 tsp of sour cream (trust me), 2 tsp garlic salt, 1/2 sea salt, juice of half lime, diced cherry tomatoes (I gut the inside of the tomatoes so the juices don't add to much to the guacamole, cherry tomatoes have a better complimentary flavor to that of a regular tomato) - from a 100% Mexican