Times people didn't want to try your cooking

She always has time for some of my meat though.
If you know what I mean.
It's a "I fucked your mother" type of joke.

American germophobia is why they can't have nice things.

I'm a eurofag though

Im pretty anal on food hygene (atleast when Im cooking for others), but holy shit, it goes on a bbq. All the bad stuff gets killed by the heat.

thanks, we couldn't tell

cold milk
hot roux
no lumps

Having roommates shows you how awful normal people are. I now pay more in rent but treasure being alone and not having to deal with shitty people once I close the front door. Never again.

I know, I was at a very nice steakhouse once and the lady next to my table orders a dry aged filet fucking well done, see specifically said she didn't want any red, and she sent it back when it had a little bit of red, almost fucking slapped her for doing that to a $60 steak

...

when i made pasta puttanesca my sister insisted i make a second set of sauce because my sister doesnt like anchovies

my mom made me do it even though my sister never ate anchovies outside salads which is not comparable to putting them in a sauce with a long cooking time

>>The absolute state of women for .. forever

Does she know it's in Caesar dressing

Definitely not

>mom and dad are typical, old, white boomers
>had to move back home after college for a bit
>mom insisted I cook since I wasn't working >finding things they liked on a budget that wasn't potatoes, meat, and steamed veg every night was a hassle
>mom complained that she was tired of eating the same things so I had to cook something new
>they don't like anything with "too much spice" or "weird stuff"
>don't like the majority of seafood unless they see other white people eat it and even then standard things like salmon they dislike
>but they like shrimp and they've made """gumbo""" before, so I'd make a good gumbo!
>foodnetwork.com/recipes/alton-brown/shrimp-gumbo-recipe-1946875
>didn't deviate from that recipe besides adding some okra, which my parents like somehow
>gumbo comes out excellent
>SO tries it, we can't stop eating it
>parents go to try it and I can tell mom doesn't like
>mom saw me make the stock from the shrimp heads and thinks that's "weird"
>she also doesn't understand why I didn't add the rice into the pot with the gumbo
>mom also thinks the gumbo is "too spicy"
>dad likes the gumbo because he's actually been to louisiana before
>mom thought gumbo was supposed to turn out more like the box mix she had made """gumbo""" from
>tells me how she only wanted "bland" food from then on

It was like feeding a toddler, so fussy. And it's only going to get worse as she ages.

I decided I was only going to cook for myself, making food for my family is a waste of time and ingredients, and I always end up eating everyone's portions. It's frustrating

Does it count if they refused after eating a large amount? Happened two years ago:
>have fatass aunt on my mom's side of the family
>I'm not the skinniest dude ever either, but if I'm the moon this bitch is fucking jupiter
>I'm at my mom's place for the holidays and she comes by to visit with a few others for christmas
>couple days after christmas I'm making a big pot of this mushroom chili for everyone
>nearly done, stir and leave it simmering the last few minutes while I go off to use the bathroom
>come back a few minutes later and aunt is sitting at the table by herself with a bigass bowl of chili in front of her
>kinda pissed because that was supposed to be for dinner but I figure there's still more than enough for everyone
>I checked the pot and in the time I was taking a shit I figure the bitch had to have eaten at least two other bowls from how much was missing
>become even more pissed
>"Oh user this stuff is so good! What kind of meat is in this?"
>trying not to erupt in anger as I list off the ingredients I used
>get to mushrooms
>she gets a weird look on her face and stops eating
>backs away from the bowl and starts to almost gag
>throws the rest of what was in her bowl in the trash even though it was almost full
>I had to leave the fucking house because I was very nearly contemplating homicide at that moment
There were a bunch of people there but I had just enough left for everyone else for dinner. I decided not to make a scene since the bitch was going to be there another like two days only and I didn't want to fuck my mom's christmas up. Later on she had the nerve to fucking tell me to make it with meat next time because "mushrooms make me sick."

Gordon Ramsay eggs are nasty though. My wife makes them all the time but I much prefer a classic fluffy scrambled.

What did you do to the mushrooms to give her the impression that they were meat, fatty?

>years ago
>make shrimp for family
>they all fucking love it
>try it again
>can't get it right
>they keep asking me to try it
GOD DAMNIT I DON'T KNOW

>throws old bread in trash
> roommate proceeds to eat bread from directly from the trash

" That's probably the shittiest bread you have ever made user"

Try just pushing them around, tilting the pan once there is room left from the made scrambed eggs till there is no liquid left. Top will still be juicy and prevent drying out. The sramblet omelett style makes it great for putting on sandwhiches.

What's the difference between his mom and a fridge?

fridge doesn't fart when you pull your meat out.

Not that guy, but mushrooms can have a vaguely meaty flavor to fatties with the palates of children, especially when they're masked with strong spices in a chili.

My grandma is awful for this. If I don't hover over whatever I'm making she'll sneak a FUCKLOAD of salt into it when I'm not looking. Whatever I WAS cooking is fucked, now it's just sodium gruel.

>Be American
>Cook
>No one wants to eat it because it is not McDonald's

>egg-cheese-dashi-sake soup with venison meatballs wtf? yea

This. I thought I hated everyone pretty reasonably, even for Veeky Forums standards. But when I got college roommates, I realised that about 80 percent of other human beings are just walking pieces of trash.

>be her
>he reads OP's story
>I randomly shift tenses in the first few lines
>our faces when the greentext story is completely incomprehensible

God, I was once the chef's guest at a Michelin star restaurant, he invited my entire family and my cunt mother refused to even try the wagyu because "it's raw". It was fucking melting in the rest of our mouths and she wouldn't even try it. I was so embarrassed that even though I was stuffed from all the other courses I ate a few pieces off her plate so the chef would think she at least fucking tried it. Thinking about the number of times we've gone out to eat at a nice restaurant and she's ordered a steak well done gets me fuming.

Doesn't sound that bad tqbh

My stepdad is afraid of anything "ethnic"... Trying to get him to try jerk chicken turned into a drunken game of horseshoes - about ten people in the garage trying to throw chunks of spicy, delicious chicken into his mouth.

He almost refused to eat Thanksgiving dinner because I butchered the turkey before cooking it, and put it all back together for serving. Apparently that's "Just not how it's done". Took him five hours and ten beers just to tell me I did a good job on the bird.

You're doing them wrong if you don't like them.

Y'all have some shitty families.
Stay strong. Godspeed

>mother in law loves something I made
>Oh user whats this I never had X like this
>"Grammas recipe"
>"Just a thing I wanted to try"
>"Its *french/spanish/italian gibberish* but Americanized"
>After she has gotten seconds, is sitting there eating more and asked me how I made it I tell her outright
>Yeah its giblet gravy
>Its the blood sausage from farmer Gregs
>Its stewed oxtail
>suddenly cant eat another bite
The worst was the mexican tripe soup, she didnt come back for 2 weeks. By worst I mean best

>be me
>hate ethnic foods
>make classical french cuisine from escoffier/larouse
>everyone loves it.

">BE ME"

What started this nonsense? If you remove that part it will be read exactly same and still assumes it's about you. Who else would it be if not explicitly stated?

t. triggered buttblastmaximus

you've been here all summer huh?
im going to try this without seeming like a faggot: >be me is a 4channel colloquialism, and you don't use t. when referring to yourself.
lurk more man seriously.

What a spoiled little brat.

There is no such thing as 4channel. Veeky Forums comes from futaba/2chan, which was an offspring site of 2channel (much like 8ch is of Veeky Forums) when Hiroyuki and Nigger Jim ran the site into the ground and sold everyone's ip addresses. We have never been "channel" just like 2chan is never called 2channel.

THIS.
>have fat ass brother at least 500lbs
>doing 4th of july bbq for family and friends
>bison burgers, smoked pork shoulder for pulledpork, brauts, potato salad, crunchy cabbage coleslaw, beers
>only like 12 people there so enough food for everyone, kept it under 100 bucks
>rest of family is having a good time swimming and playing volleyball shooting guns and stuff
>come back to the grill to find my uncle has been giving brother in question a burger every 15 minutes
>two bowls of potato salad, 5 burgers, 3 brauts, macaroni; but hasnt touched the coleslaw
>finish cooking all the rest at once for family sit down dinner on some picnic tables
>11 people havent had anything but snacks and there are only like 7 brauts a few burgers and a ton of coleslaw
>get pissed and bitch him out over it; he ate like 2/3rds of the food over a few hours
>"broanon, I was hungry, it was going to get eaten anyway"
>whatever fuck you, let me grab the pork shoulder and pull it so everyone else can have pulled pork sandwiches with the left-over buns from you making double-decker bison burgers
>pull shoulder out of smoker
>.... what happened to the foil, how long has this been open and on
>pork is dry as fuck and already has like 2lbs pulled off it which I assume he ate by hand or mixed into the macaroni
>sit back on patio and crack open a beer while I watch friends bitch and complain about lack of food
How is this even possible... How can one person eat that much.

>be me

It wasn't and the influence to use otherwise came from reddit. Just like "t." Regardless it's simply unnecessary to use "be me" when it's universally understood without it.

It's a meme you dip

Fight the bad memes bro.

Resist! the memes from 2007!

where can i get cayenne pepper in bulk

Restaurant supply - you can probably get anything from 1lb to a 50lb barrel shipped to you.

dad didnt even let me cook ever because it was his hobby and his stuff
i havent seen him in two years
in those two years i learned how to cook
if i ever see him again im going to make his favourite food for him only better and then im getting drunk and beating him up because now i am bigger and stronger you piece of shit

would that be enough to keep up with cheff jhon?

God that sounds fucking horrible, but I have a story kinda like that
>When my uncle married my aunt, her family fucking hated him, never really got it because my uncle is cool as shit and they're the only people who i've ever heard talk shit about him
>her whole family is super obese, probably around 350-400 pounds for the mom and a little bit for her siblings
>My uncle does 2 christmases, one with my family and one with hers, and I heard they do some fucked shit
>They made just enough food for them and made him go do something outside, and while he was outside they took almost all but a little of the food
>My aunt, not being a cunt, got pissed at them and shared her food with my uncle, but he didn't have a fork, because the cunt mom took it, when he asked for it back, she hurried up and licked both sides of the fork and handed it over
>uncle left immediately, and there was more shit but my uncle never told me about it
It might have to do with the fact that my uncle is relatively fit and they were all lard asses

You could probably do a line an hour for a year, and still have enough leftover for your friends.

He's like the Austin Evans of cooking.

That is vile. It's not because you're all fat and he's fit; it's because you act like pieces of shit...

Some people are just fucked.

My ex gf's family is kind of like that. It took some serious cuntery on my part to get any respect from them at all - now they fucking love me, and she's off with someone else.

It's like being able to sound out the words of what that angry piece of taxidermy is saying (koli loslav dwi godene na dovie i ne veslavsya), but having to beat up an old Russian woman to find out what it means.

>thanksgiving
>turkey
>wrapped in bacon, slow roasted in oven basted with wine and butter
>comes out beautiful
>tastes goddamn amazing
>i never got to try a piece of it
>[spoiler]I knew there was cyanide in it[/spoiler]

>home ec
>teacher told us to cook our favorite food and share
>made summer rolls
>people didn't want to eat because they've never seen shrimps before and the pork belly has fat
>whatever, me and my friend at it all

>be me
>in real life
>go make sausage and egg burritos
>theyre absolutely stunning
>like
>wow
>wrap them in tortillas so they dont get cold
>run outside
>find stranger
>offer xer some
>they dont want to try it
what the fuck /x/ why are people such fucking fussy eaters

faggot

Did you read the story? My uncle is my dad's brother, he married my aunt and it was her family, my family all hates them after we heard that shit, I was young when it happened, so i've only seen them a couple times and I think fat women hate the fact that they are fat and take it out on non fat people

Who knows why they did it, but atleast everyone knows they're pieces of shit

Don't get the russian reference, but yeah some people are fucked

>they've never seen shrimps before and the pork belly has fat

Where the fuck do you live that shrimp is something alien to people?

I fucked it up, but the text above that taxidermied cat is something like "Koli pospav dvi godini na dovu i ne vispavya" but I don't speak enough Slav to have any idea what it means.

How could a mother act like this? Shouldn't you be proud of your child succeeding in something? What a fucking cunt.

>having roommates

Women are vile, petty creatures.

I'd tell my mom to piss off then drink a raw egg in front of her.

idk OP. my grandparents were legit humble people that traveled with the seasons to work in agricultural farming, they were braseros, but they also had legit simple but great cooking skills. tgey wound up with an citrus grove and small farm. my grandpa would drink a raw egg if it cracked on the way from the coop to the kitchen. so tgey weren't picky but would grow fucking amazing veg on their land, chickens, goat and rabbits and a pig in special occasions. we had it good. however everyone ese in my senpai is stuck in not trying new foods. my dad likes sushi. that's it.

When I tried the ramsay method I realized every scrambled egg I had ever eaten in my life was shit. Fuck American style scrambled eggs. I've wanted to try French style where you cook them in a water bath and they come out even creamier. It takes long as fuck though and I never feel like going through the actual effort.

I was going to make wordplay with eggs but you begin saying it is your friend and then change into your mom

Reading this thread makes me feel a bit lucky that my family tends to enjoy my cooking. I can't recall them ever saying no to something I whipped up, and they'll happily dive into any dessert I make, and genuinely seem to enjoy it.

Reddit started it. That's why you should tell every redditor that uses
>be me
to fuck off

my mom doesn't eat any seafood products. whenever i make italian i use a bit of fish sauce, which is a fairly common trick. i've never told her and she has no idea why my pasta sauce is better than hers.

>Trying to get him to try jerk chicken turned into a drunken game of horseshoes - about ten people in the garage trying to throw chunks of spicy, delicious chicken into his mouth.
Was the deal that if you could throw it into his mouth, he'd try it?
>>two bowls of potato salad, 5 burgers, 3 brauts, macaroni;
I'm skelly and can do that if there's a grill nearby and if it's not rude to do so.
>he doesn't just bee his self
this guy memes
this guy summers

Whenever I don't bake fish or chicken, or when I don't make kool-aid or tea. At least my cousin likes the food/drinks I make.

He said if I could get it past his lips, he'd try it. So I chopped some up, and the whole gaggle of us started trying to throw it in his mouth from 10'. If you missed, you had to drink and go to the back of the line.

Who the fuck only eats baked chicken? That's the greasiest, least-pleasant way to eat it? Fried, grilled, roasted, sauteed, smoked are all better preparations.

>not cooking with your mom and both enjoying what you made.
Visiting parents for Christmas right now. It's fun cooking with my mom, but I think we have similar tastes.

Depends on if you leave the skin on, and how long you cook it. Also, fried is less greasy than baked? Nigger, what?

I apparently make my mom nervous when I cook - I'm always a few steps ahead mentally, so I just rock it in autopilot which usually means I'm just following my knuckles with the blade, and trusting my hands rather than my eyes.

That's a great way to cut your hands

sounds unironically like good times

Makes me furious when no one outside my family appreciates my pork belly, I always make the skin crispy and fat juicy but still getting hate for a "bit" of fat.

>gumbo without okra
Fuckingg yanks
I'm pretty sure gumbo literally means okra

Hasn't happened since my first year in the kitchen.

>It's like being able to sound out the words of what that angry piece of taxidermy is saying (koli loslav dwi godene na dovie i ne veslavsya), but having to beat up an old Russian woman to find out what it means.
what

I had it translated by a Russia bro... although he said it's probably Ukrainian.

The picture in (allegedly) roughly translates to "When you sleep for two hours and it's not enough sleep."

It is probably ukrainian or some other non-russian slavic
>"when you have slept on the oak for two years and are still sleepy"

The word originates from an angolan word meaning roughly 'okra' but Gumbo itself does not nessecarily have to have Okra and the best Gumbo I ever had didnt have Okra. Also I'm from South Louisiana.
There's also multiple kinds of Gumbo, Seafood Gumbo and Okra is good, Creole Gumbo is good with Okra, I do sometimes appreciate a good sausage and poultry gumbo but not that often with Okra, but my go to is Duck or Turkey and Andouille gumbo.
When I make gumbo, I by deboning my meat. I brown it, usually either turkey ,duck or an old hen cut up, brown it, then add a bit of wine to get up that fond at the bottom of the pot, remove the bones, then throw them back in, skim off some of the fat, then add a celery stalk, an onion some garlic salt and pepper and just make my stock that way. then I make a dark roux or just buy the stuff in the jar pre-made which is way faster and tastes no different than making it yourself, Savoie's is what I usually use. some andouille sausage, not too hot. Then sweat my vegetables, two cups onion, a cup of bell pepper, cup of celery, 3 cloves of garlic, big cloves, 3 bay leaves cracked, plenty of salt and pepper, then I throw this in with my roux and sausage, let it cook a bit, just enough to get it nice and all together before adding it all in together. into a nice big pot and letting that cook, reintroduce the poultry, some people like to put the file in when it's cooking, I dont, that's best done as it's coming out on the rice, and add a good bit of chopped parsely near the end of cooking so it's fresher.

The best Gumbo I ever had used duck and andouille sausage. Duck Gumbo is the best.

>First year
Look at him, look at him and laugh.
Every apprentice needs that one cut to pull their head in

>gordon ramsy invented scrambling eggs in a pan
>hard work
what i expect from someone who eats runny eggs