What is this weird utensil I got with my knife set?

What is this weird utensil I got with my knife set?

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aldi.us/en/grocery-home/wine-cellar/white-wines/white-wines-detail/ps/p/winking-owl-pinot-grigio/
twitter.com/AnonBabble

The complimentary anal plug. Have you never bought knives before?

open it up

You shove that in your whore wife's throat when she doesn't cook dinner by 7pm

Portable cork screw. Take off the sleave to reveal the screw inside. Put the sleave through the hole to use as a handle.

zucchini whistle

Its a wine open you philistine.

Nice

Your complimentary crack pipe to prepare for your crippling drug addiction. Everyone who cooks for a living gets one.

nigger... It's a wine bottle decorker. Pull off the long cap and feed it through that hole until you've made a handle. God help you if you can't figure out the rest at that point.

this

Oh shit is that a spaghetti sorter?

>almost 2018
>not just buying wine with screwcap bottles

Does it summon zucchinis?

>being this anglo

Oh man, I'm jealous that they put a French cookie cutter in with your knives and didn't notice.

By God this made me smile

An autist hand ?

tfw my 2 dollar aldi wine only comes with a cork....

>$2
Good god, do they just mix some cheap vodka into store brand sparkling grape drink?

Not sure, but it's honestly not that bad. My gf who pounds a bottle of the moscato each night says it's decent. This is my choice aldi.us/en/grocery-home/wine-cellar/white-wines/white-wines-detail/ps/p/winking-owl-pinot-grigio/

Elongated finger box you noob.

throwback

Sauce?

muh dick

It's just Gallo sold off-label at cost to get people into the stores. There are worse table wines for a lot more, and it definitely beats Mad Dog or Wild Irish Rose.

Is...is that an ovipositor dildo?

yes

that is used to straighten the shafts of arrows. Your knife set is a kill kit. welcome to the world of mercenaries.

Always remember where you come from if you want to succeed in the future. Random set me on an path of ultimate shitposting and I won't stop until I'm a Canadian tier derailer.

this

>not drinking your $1,99 wine out of bags

>Drinking $2 Chuck

yeah im sure your pre diabetic retard of a girlfriend is a real talented sommelier . I'm glad she approves for us