I love going to the grocery store at two a.m.
No one around to bother me I can meander freely like humans were meant to do, we're not a herd of cattle. I even work overnight because I am a nocturnal being so I just stop working and visit the store, it doesn't even take time out of my night or day.
it truly is the best. although you have to check out your own groceries. idk about the latter part though cause i dont have to talk to anyone or hear crying children
What do you work as?
I drive.
I live right next door to where I work to. I have a very placid existence, at least.
>I drive.
you drive what?
>I live right next door to where I work
You live next door to your car?
I go to the Asian stores that close at eight or nine. They're crowded, but no one bothers me because obnoxious honkies don't shop there. Some of my stable vegetables are four times cheaper there. I can buy a bunch of something and the cashiers don't interrogate me about it.
self-check is great, now that they've worked out a lot of the bugs when it comes to weighing items.
beat me to it
>tfw will never ride bitch on a motorcycle behind Ausuka
No mister I live next door to a bakery amongst some other things like a prostitute and a bus depot and a marijuana depot. I take people bread in the night so they have bread every day. I don't own a car, it's kind of funny actually, this is one of my times my schemes worked out just as I planned. I was never a very good driver, I went too fast and didn't really have an innate talent for it. I got in an accident and I decided that was it and I sold my car since I didn't need the darn thing anyway. I wanted to learn to slow down. Another benefit of this is that it would clear my driving record. Employers only really look back 3 - 5 years. Since I hadn't driven in that span of time but kept my license valid, I appeared to be a model driver when really I just cheated by not driving at all. So when I got dismissed from my job I picked up work driving bread and they actually hired me and I didn't even have to lie to them. They just didn't ask me the right questions. I was proud of that, because it worked out just as I planned so long ago. And now I am actually a good driver. But it might be one of those things I am more impressed with and others don't care about like when I got that prostitute to bang me for free. That was a real moral victory cause she said she was a lesbian and wouldn't bang me for free in a million years. She's a funny girl though, she can't get girls to bang her for free, so the money she gets from prostitution she spends on female prostitutes for herself. Everyone's got problems, I guess.
>this whole post
I'm not sure if this is adorable or disturbing but you do you booboo. Straight up as autistic as The Goose
goose?
Let me explain to all you non-Minnesotan fuckers why "Duck, Duck, Gray Duck" is the superior game. "Duck, Duck, Gray Duck" is not only a direct translation and thus more accurate representation to the original Swedish game of "Anka Anka Grå Anka", but offers more strategic depth than the plebeian form known as "Duck, Duck, Goose". For example, by having an adjective to describe the "duck", it becomes a game of psychological warfare where faking out any other players by changing the adjective (i.e. green duck, great duck, etc.) becomes a key tactic. This superior form of the game was appropriated by filthy casuals who thought the game wasn't beginner-friendly enough, and completely eliminated any strategic depth to this traditional Scandinavian pastime.
Nah I designed a better version of the game when I was a kid where we had a big circular soft thing we sat around and it was full contact and you could toss people into it with no qualms
reg grocery stores close at 10 u talking about like walmart?
No, although Wal-Mart is open 24 hours, other stores are too.
Theres no such thing as a good grocery store that is open at 2 am. You must be thinking of wal-mart
>Tfw you'll never deliver bread to prostitutes and potheads for a living
That honestly sounds quite comfy, they' probably give you less shit than if you were a pizza delivery driver.
Ryan Gosling, aka Driver
Well I dress more approachable these days though I could still look fearsome if I wanted and I don't think my employer would care but there really isn't much a point in it because it's like a repel in pokemon silver. An outwardly offputting appearance will scare away weaklings, but weaklings were never going to give me trouble either way. The only real purpose it served was alerting me to truly troublesome individuals since they were not dissuaded by my first line of defence and also sometimes people gave me free food because they assumed I was homeless. You can't correct those mistakes because even homeless people give a phony bluster about how they don't need it when they really do so they don't believe me when I say I don't need it, even though it's true, because I looked the part of a hobo. Anyway, people giving me guff was never much of an issue, and I would make more as a pizza driver, but I would have to have my own vehicle most likely, and I would have to work in the daytime, and deal with people and work further from home. I really like my work being next door and no one ever bothers me as long as the job is done everyday. I can take a slight pay cut for that, and this bakery has a few more fringe benefits like free bread and the owners are nice and in the future they might expand so who knows what might happen if I stick around. I've lucked myself into a senior driving position because everyone else quit.
If your grocery store is open at 2 AM then that means you are shopping at Walmart and are likely poor and I look down on you.
I guess you could call me poor, but I have everything I want, don't I?
At least anything money can buy.
I guess I could add socially maladjusted and an underachiever as well.
how can I be an underachiever if I have everything I want.
>implying Meijer isn't open 24 hours per day
>implying Meijer is any better than Walmart
Post your receipt from your last grocery trip. Let's see what the grand master purchases.
I would unironically watch a movie about your life my good sir
maybe someday I'll tell the full story of the hermit basement dweller who has already seen it all and now just spends his life relaxing
>I even work overnight because I am a nocturnal being
Enjoy your shortened lifespan.
Thanks mister I'll try.
Sounds like a Wes Anderson film desu
well he must be a good film maker if his name alone carries some sort of weight but I don't usually engage in such tabloid trifles. My knowledge of the people behind the scenes of works of art exists exclusively as a result of certain people's tendency to bring them up. I rather wish they didn't, I have no interest in it but alas.
Years ago I liked to shop at the 24 hour Pick n Save, before they remodeled it into some modern-ish thing. Back then it was more a generic large grocery store, but somehow it had more character. There was the self contained video rental store inside, and an "institutional food" aisle with paint can sized containers of beans and vegetables. It was fun to shop at 1 or 2 am. Sometimes when I'm there at that hour, a little tired and hungry but in a good mood, shopping takes on a bit of a "twilight zone" atmosphere. Everything looks good or interesting and I'm more inclined to buy some weird stuff just to see what it's like. And with the place all to myself it's like maybe I turned a corner and slipped into some parallel pocket universe with nobody else there.
Woodman's isn't a bad 24 hour replacement. I like that it doesn't look too modern, and has that fake brick floor in the produce section. Could do with more generic store brands but oh well. Surprising how doing late shopping in an almost empty store can be much more leisurely and less hectic. There's always stockers about so it doesn't quite have that "am I the only one here" feeling.
We used to have a local grocer (Shoprite, no relation to the East Coast chain) that was exactly like that. Unfortunately it got gutted and turned into a Value Village about 7 years ago.
man I was at value village today or whatever and the deals were so fantastic
one pair of work cargo pants at marks work warehouse is ruffly fifty dollars but for fifty dollars at value village on boxing day I got 4 pairs of work pants and nice pair of mechanic's coveralls and two plaid shirts! I can get the prostitute to sew patches in a few places where they need them and I am good to go and anyway it sucks that I can't buy meat at the grocery store at night because I only buy meat with pink stickers and there is no pink sticker meat around at night that's a daytime thing.
>He's never been to a WinCo
Easily the comfiest thread of the year
thanks mister
Woodman's is a godsend, I never had the honor of shopping at a 24hr Pick'n'Save. They replaced the one I used to go to as a kid with a Piggly Wiggly.