Grocery store pet peeves

>someone who examines a product for ten minutes just to put it back and walk away
>children who run around the store and touch all the produce
>people who uses mobile scooters when they clearly don't need to

What's yours?

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>>someone who examines a product for ten minutes just to put it back and walk away
if i'm not blocking the aisle and i put it back where it's supposed to be i'll spend as long as I fucking like examining the nutrition content and package weight looking for the best deal by volume and protein/fiber content, thank you.

Here's mine though:

>EBT
>Just fucking EBT

fpbp OP is confirmed autism

When the Jester harassing me instead of others.
Why single me out?
I understand you were sentenced to 1500 hours of community disservice but why follow me around?
Pick someone who doesn't already know your games.

calling the cart a "trolley"

>big colorful price tag indicating a sale
>its not actually on sale
>its the normal price and has a big colorful tag to try and trick people

>Shopping for cabbages
>the Jester keeps sneaking melons into your basket

FUCK OFF AND NO I DON'T WANT A BALLOON ANIMAL

Oh stores do this all the time. Another thing they'll do is put stuff on the special displays at the end of each aisle, called End Caps. People automatically assume these items are on sale because they're highlighted.

If an item is on sale it is required to list what the regular price is and how much it is marked down. And "rollback" or "reduction" is not the same thing. Also something being on Clearance does not automatically mean it's being sold cheaper.

Cheaper items will usually be higher up, above the eye level of both children and adults

People who don't move out of the way and crowd the aisle.

>calling the buggy a "cart"

Whats wrong with taking your time and judging your purchases carefully?

I work at walmart so finding 10-15 dollar steaks in the clothing department, spoiled.

Could you explain, for someone not living in North America, what exactly is a Jester?

>keep glancing the jester grinning at me throughout shopping experience
>watching carefully but never see him doing anything
>pay for all my items without incident
>hear him cackling while leaving the store
>get home and check groceries
>everything appears to be in order
>don't know if he did something incredibly sneaky or just fucking with me
>about to throw everything away
>but what if that is his plan?
>break down and have a panic attack
>meanwhile groceries are slowly expiring on the counter

HELP

The grocery store jester is the jovial fellow that resides in the grocery store and pranks people. The pranks can run from simple embarrassment to completely ruining your life depending on the jester.

Sometimes when criminals get sentenced in America and on rare occasionally Canada they instead get Community Disservice as a punishment between 1000-4000 hours with 1500 being the average.

They are then forced to volunteer at grocery stores to pester and hassle customers as some sort of marketing tactic. Damn American laws are strange man.

>hassle customers as some sort of marketing tactic
America wtf is wrong with you?

>someone in front of you uses a coupon
>it’s expired
>hold up the line for 30 minutes

>someone in front of you signs up for the rewards card

Land of the Free
Home of the Pranks.

calling the scooter a "horseless tumbrel"

Careful user you might fall off that high horse

>people who uses mobile scooters when they clearly don't need to
Americans ladies and gentlemen

This jester shit isn't funny at all and you should all just stop, you should all feel ashamed for being such retarded unfunny losers, start a fucking grocery store jester thread if you wanna do this cringey shit

It's a failed Veeky Forums forced meme kinda like the no singles policy in theatres on /tv/

>this coming from a Varg poster

How do you get mad at grocery shopping? It's the easiest damn thing and you don't have to interact with anyone if you don't want to. Stop getting mad at every little thing.

What do you mean?

At least I'm not a faggot jester-poster

But the anvil and penis inspections are actually funny. Jesters are not

Also, my pet peeve is black people.
Just blacks in general.
They smell. Like coco butter, sweat, cigarettes, burnt skin, doo doo, menthols, burnt hair, just pure shit. They stink.
Ugly too. Like walking apes.

When an Indian couple is at the cash register with a full shopping cart and before loading each item on the conveyer belt they check ALL the ingredients on every item to check for cow subtances like gelatin.

Screaming babies, feral mexican children, people trying some coupon shit with their smart phone that inevitably doesn't work and takes 5 minutes to resolve.

People who use their credit card to buy one cheap item. ONE. It takes too long.

>no price tag for a product
Sure, it probably costs not much more than the one next to it, or i could flag down a worker and have him go to the register and waste everyones time checking the price.. or just buy soomething else
>Old price: 2.19; New price: 2.15
What a deal!

Don't you have paywave or chip and pin yet?
What thirdworld shithole do you live in??

While EBT is 95% deadbeat lowlife niggers and other varieties of human waste, there is a small minority of struggling white American families who actually need to use it for a little while to support themselves like the system was originally intended for

True.

>Going on about how "it rang up wrong!" and holding up the fucking register
>Staff comes and tells them they basically don't know how to read
>Acts like nothing happened despite the minor tantrum they just had
>Doesn't even apologize to the people in line or the cashier

I swear between these fucks and coupon hags, it's always on express.

>someone who examines a product for ten minutes just to put it back and walk away
wait is this bad
i'm just looking at the nutrition info
i'll stop if it's really annoying i'm sorry :

>when you take the last carton of milk on a row and catch a glimpse of the dairy reaper, locking eyes with him as he fades into the black ether, and for a nanosecond you saw the way you will die
Also black people spreading their kids and carts out over an aisle like a blockade

It's codeword for Reddit

>Looking for a slightly less-common product like sauerkraut or pate
>The "artisan" "select" version is very easy to find, usually in some fancy display case
>The normal -$10 cheaper version is hidden in a little corner of the store you'd never think to look in

I have seen some pretty horrible shit but so far the worst people at the grocery are the employees themselves
Every time you go to pay the cashieer rushes through your groceries throwing shit everywhere trying to get you out as fast as possible and as soon as she is done she starts with the guy behind, I shit you not I had my groceries mixed with 3 other people all trying to bag their own and the cunt kept going
But it's ok because I figured it out now, I won't even attempt to pay until I already took my time and bagfed every single thing, she can't actually charge anyone else until I paid

t. Jester

Don't stop, user. He's just a cranky pants. As long as your cart is off to the side, and you're not blocking anyone, you're just fine.

"Sesame seeds in baking isle - $5 for a small McCormick container.

Go to the Asian isle, and get a 1 pound bag of Sesame seeds for $3.

i hate the carts they slow me down, i will literally pack the basket so fucking full i need to carry it with 2 hands.

Fucking this.
So glad I have an Indian Market near my house. Giant bags of every spice you could ever need for pocket change.

nigga
>get reusable bags
>get shopping cart
>slowly and carefully slip half of my groceries into the reuseable bags
>Pay for the other half
>Get a full load of groceries half off
you just ain't usin them rite

>>people who uses mobile scooters when they clearly don't need to
you can't see all disabilities, dude

>Giant bags of poo encrusted metal laden mystery material for pocket change

What a bargain

Or they can just stop posting in /pol/ and get a real job.

These fucking threads.

>Chip and pin
Sure, I've got an hour to waste while my transaction is approved. Worst euro import since Europeans.

>t. Fatty full of excuses

Stop shopping in the nigger part of town at 3 AM.

yes I agree. But I see a lot of the same people throughout the store doing it with non-food items.

>Person standing in front of something I need
>Say "excuse me" as I get closer
>Give them 3 seconds, if they don't move say "Just gonna grab this" and push my way to whatever I need
I'll ask you to move once and if you don't I will just move you. It's that simple.

(((you)))

>Any customer that breathes down your neck while you're organizing the shelves. Speak, take what you need or begone.
>The faggots who put a frozen food item in the refrigerated foods section
>Anyone who puts a damaged item, liquid contents no less in the non-damaged items. Leave it on the floor, you idiot
>"Excuse me, do you know where X is?"
>Points to it right next to her.
>Stupid smile, followed by "My eyes aren't what they used to be."
>Any idiot that leaves non-food items in a food area
>Any mother (keyword) with multiple kids. I had to tell a little niglet to stop slamming the salami on the railing. The look he gave me was priceless. Any black kid that looks at me. I literally tell them aloud "I ain't your daddy.".

My current job keeps me from the front end, so I don't know what they have to deal with, but I know the game based on my first job at Kroger. Fuck, I can't forget the shittier days and customers I met during that time.

>come out of isle
>soccer mom power walking full speed
>yells MOVE and keeps going
>that person who stands in the middle of the fucking row and doesnt hear you
>that woman who peels open milk jug just for a sniff test
>that soccer mom who abuses the fuck out of free samples
>that indian man who shakes fucking soda bottles to test carbonation
>that family that buys a bike for their kid and their card gets declined 50 times
Ive never seen a successful bike purchase at wally world

This post made me laugh really hard

>EBT

It’s on a card. Cards are fine. The real niggers are the people who want to pay by check.

>that person in the middle of the fucking row and doesn't hear you

you're doing it all wrong. what I do is get closer and they usually move. It doesn't work on landwhales on scooters, though.

>Buy one get two free!
>price/lb is triple what it normally is

>they quietly raise prices before a sale
>the sale just brings it back to the normal price but they can get away with calling it "savings"

>the sale prices are higher than the original prices

That's the scary thing...it wasn't that part of town. The problem with mexicans is they keep breeding and spreading. They start to appear in places they weren't before, and ruin it with their fat undisciplined kids and their awful language. I hate everything spanish, the language, culture, all of it; at least in the US. They don't belong here and I wish this country would grow a pair and deport them en masse. Revoke citizenship for any infraction. Close the border and shoot any who try to cross.

>feral mexican children

The problem is you're too fucking slow.
>Finish ringing out an old woman.
>Stare at her as she spends the next 2 minutes organizing her purse and wallet before grabbing her last bag and getting the fuck out the way.

Get a load of this faggot.

t. 56% White Tyrone Gonzales

>Thing has a price on tag.
>Price is only if you have their membership card

Where the hell even does this anymore? Both Fred Meyers and Albertsons used to do that bullshit but they stopped forever ago, and just give you gas rewards instead

Food Lion, Giant and Weis all do this.

>someone who examines a product for ten minutes just to put it back and walk away
I do this, OP. Ask me anything.

Practically everywhere in the mid-atlantic

>I'm sorry ma'am, but it says here your card is declined
>"Try it again"

u wot?

We've got PayWave in .au where you just tap your card on the device and the transaction is as instant as the audible "beep". Done.

The tech for it in burgerland has been spotty and shit to broken since this has been implemented. It will probably take another 2 years before it to not be shit anymore.

For what it's worth, my card was declined two weeks ago in Napa for like a $30 tab of drinks and when the guy ran it again like I told him (I knew how much was on my card), the shit worked. I also used to work in retail for 5 years and trying the card again did work a lot of times.

Anyways...

>Cashiers who comment on your items
>Self checkouts that have no one around for an ID check on your booze or cold medicine
>A pushy deli person that tries to get you to buy fresh cut meat or hot chicken instead of cold packaged stuff
>Pushy sushi person offering me free samples
>The motherfucking parking lot

Seriously though, the comment/deli thing is the worst. I like to pick up an occasional cheap cold treat for my dog. It's none of your business if I'm buying a weird looking cup of sliced roast beef, or some fried chicken that's $4.00 off.

Funny thing is that it sounds a lot like our Victorian public transport MYKI system and that was made by an American company.

Now I hope they got their missile guidance software right because when Trump hits the button that shit could fly anywhere. lol

Aisle blocking is my main one.

TREAT IT LIKE ROAD TRAFFIC FOLKS

>Buying alcohol at the self checkout.

Face your shame like a man and and give kyle your booze money for the second time today.

I don't know where you shop, but the actual checkouts have lines of 4-5 people. At the self-checkout, I can get my 20 pack of Miller High Life and two prepackaged egg salad sandwiches out in under 3 minutes if someone is standing around saying I'm clearly over 21.

>be young kid with sister
>always go to grocery store with mom
>every time we get to register we go to that little side stand with the gum/chocolate/mints
>we take every pack of gum off the shelf and press our noses into them and sniff them
>smells really good
>always laughing having a good time smelling all the gum
>can only imagine what the other people in line / cashier were thinking

I regret my sins user

>Dairy reaper

>Someone takes up one half of the aisle with their cart
>They also take up the other half of the aisle bending down to "browse" for things

These people are inconsiderate cunts and they always just say "I'm just browsing" when you confront them.

sometimes i wonder if people do things like that deliberately just to experience some form of social interaction. maybe "excuse me!" will be the only words spoken to them that day.

slightly related
youtu.be/sZopkHLj_-Q?t=5s

>manlet pit by the meat section

>that one customer who tried to argue with me about Consumer Laws

It happens a lot more than you think.

I will out for people like u, I take things out of peoples carts while chatting them up. Not Walmart tier, mostly Harris teeter or the recently closed martins.

>work at whole foods as the designated jester
>take loaves of gluten free bread out of people's carts and replace them with regular bread with "GLUTEN FREE" written in sharpie

No one is safe

someone made this thread literally word for word with the same exact picture not even 3 days ago

is this a bot or

as a parent and impatient shopper i have to say i always get a warm tender feeling when i see kids having dumb innocent fun and i always feel bad when i see them subjected to mean parents or disapproving adults to the point where i will berate or intimidate the adults
you get a pass user

>people who bring their "service animal" in to the store when it clearly hasn't been trained and proceeds to run around and eat packaged meat or whatever else is around. Half the time they are like fucking chihuahuas or something.

>The Junior Internet Lawyer who wants to claim everything is false advertising or bait and switch
Here's a protip: If you don't buy anything (no transaction has taken place) then 99% of the time no law has been broken. Reserve right to refuse service and fuck off.

Happened to me yesterday with a lady who was like "you gotta charge me the lower price" on 2 very different items. I said "no I don't, because that only applies if the item scans at a different price than the price that is on the ticket" She lost her shit and I told her to get her things and leave.

Actually this lady was a complete and utter baboon, I had never raised my voice to a customer until then.

>people who cant stick to the right side of the aisle and proceed to walk down the middle of it at a snails pace while leaning on their cart to dick around on their phone
>people who take a cart to buy 3 items case they also cant keep to one side of the aisle
>people who traverse through the store the wrong way
>people who roll their carts right up to the dairy coolers and freezers and proceed to block the way for a minute deciding if they really want to buy something
>people who ditch perishables in non perishable areas cause we all end up paying for them fucking up products

the inability for people to keep to one side of the aisle pisses me off the most. like how do all these stupid niggers get their driving permits or avoid getting fired from their jobs for being incompetent?

when parents get their kids to stand in line as place keepers while they shop and then they just cut the line with a cart full of shit right when you should rightfully be next to check out.

Haven't you seen our television? We like mean humor. I mean, yeah, I've been burned pretty fucking bad by the Key Food Jester a few times, but would I rather have a boring shopping experience with no plot twists? Fuck that

>retirement homes that bus their residents to the store twice a week
I know it's a nice thing to do for them but it makes the front end grind to a halt.
>kids who are too focused on their ipad
They aimlessly pace around and don't look where they're going. We've already found a few who wandered into the stock room or started following behind strangers. Complaints from their soccer moms if our Wi-Fi is acting up.
>hearing at least 3 renditions of "last christmas" every hour during the holiday season
I just fucking hate Wham.