Al/ck/ general

Where in god’s name do you get so many photos of animals with watermelons? I feel like this is all one long, delirious hallucination

bullshit try 1-931-626)
-3337% and you will reach me

but the southern part is correct.

nigga my life as an al/ck is a long delusional hallucination

eat it! you ugly fucking cat

Fuck me I'm going to drink all weekend aren't I?

do not pretend to be me.

>cat

if nobody calls im gonna kys
I almost just got arrested for public intox
but speech checked my way outta it
please call i am so

How about some Whiskey from Sierra Leone?

>including all these boring reaction posts
It's the screenshot equivalent of those buzzfeed headlines ending in "...and that's a good thing" or "and it's awesome!"
I don't need some faggot telling me how to feel about a fucking picture on Veeky Forums.

No one cares about your opinion on the format of the image.

fug you suck den

Shat blood for the first time today.
What do i do? more fiber?

...

Actually I am either him. We don't need the equivalent of a laugh track on an image. It's one of the things that popped up in the last few years concordant with site quality flying into the dirt

You go to a doctor, idiot.
Shitting fresh blood means you're bleeding from your colon. Do you honestly think that's something you can fix but eating an apple?

It means you have a hemorrhoid. You don't go to the doctor for a hemorrhoid unless you're some soy boy toy

Don't listen to this drama queen. Just eat some cotton balls to plug the hole

>Few years
It's been around since at least 2011 you fucking newfag.

i switched to a low carb beer and but some lime in it for vitamin c

i'll be fine

>just eat some cotton balls to plug the hole
Omg

gotta get your vitamins.

my grandpa always said breakfast is the most important drink of the day.

your grandpa was a wise man.

Plum wine tasted like shitty cough syrup

is this good or bad for a bleeding anus?

A year ago and in November I started shitting blood. To cut a long story short I almost died and was meant to die month later.

if you shit red, you have bleeding below the stomach. If you shit black, you have bleeding in the stomach. Each can be caused by several things. So... tell me more about your shit.

Just bought 3 steel reserves after waking up hungover at 1:30 am

I'm sober enough to know this would be a bad idea. Mighr just chug water and shower

An anecdote that’s amusing me that I can’t really tell anyone irl: I’m bulimic and threw up nearly everything I ate yesterday into a huge puddle of vomit in the corner of the backyard. My lazy stoner cunt of a roommate has a dog that appears to have eaten it all up since I just checked and it’s completely gone now, and I know for a fact he lets his dog slobber him on the lips and kisses it on the mouth area. It’s the little things.

FUCK YEAH! Got my money early, gonna go to the grocery store once they open in less than an hour's time to get about $40 of food then gonna go to the liquor store when they open in less than 3 hour's time to get a bottle of 20% wine that I've been looking forward to trying out!

As for the threads moving fast during the festive season, for many this is a depressing time of year. I have no family anymore and not really any friends, I'm in a new city and on welfare, my first time ever being on welfare, so yeah, not the HAPPIEST time of year in theory. Still, I do my best to try and treat myself while also being mindful of my minuscule budget. Since money came in early though, I'm really gonna make sure I enjoy New Years Eve and New Years Day. I think today I'll treat myself to some Subway, that sounds nice, but for breakfast I'll have two hummus sandwiches as usual. Apparently home-made hummus goes bad in about 5 day's time so I don't want to waste it.

... weird, I just felt kind of empty inside even though I'm so stoked about getting money early. Well, like all things, it'll pass.

Ah, I see it's snowing out... beautiful. I'm quite looking forward to the walk to the grocery store. I fucking love snow, don't know why so many people hate on it just because it and the weather it comes in is cold.

PASTA PASTA CHEBA ITAILAY

Boozing and stopping (yes, stopping) smoking caused me to be in ridiculous amounts of pain and shit pure blood 30 times a day for 6 months when I was 22. I eventually decided that perhaps I should go to a Doc. Turns out I’d caused “acute severe ulcerative pancolitis”, and could choose to either have surgery to replace my large intestine with a bag of shit which would be strapped to my chest for life, or I could bleed to death/die from malnutrition within 6 months. Decided that fuck it , I’d just die, so turned down surgery, went home, got drunk and instead turned to the net. Same day found gaps.me, had no symptoms within 2 weeks, still have none 17 years later. If I deviate from the diet I’m very ill within 24 hours. Plus my weight normalised and I eat nothing but healthy stuff. Modern diet is a killer, eat only what you can find while ‘living off the land’ like all humans have for the entirety of human history.

I know that feel, middle of the month I scraped the last few cents I had together, to at least have a few beers to taper. Decided to check my bank, because desperate. Back-payment came early and I went on a bender till christmas.

Why did you leave your last city? Assuming not for a job if you’re on welfare?

So some texas alck called me and then he turned his phone off cause i kept calling him back.
come back texas user

I like to try and limit myself to getting drunk only every 2-3 days, and just last night I drank, but I only had 188ml worth of pure alcohol. VERY low by my standards, still got me feeling pretty good but still couldn't sleep much. Gonna get drunk again tonight but likely to make it a proper 250ml or so day, maybe even a little more.

Familial issues, ongoing for years. Last time I cut myself off, things went to shit in a big way so I was kind of lucky they were there but it didn't take long for them to turn on me again, as usual. Lived in homeless shelters on two occasions and been kicked out more than once.This time, I'm gonna make my way. I miss my aunts, uncles, and cousins. Why I got stuck with the family I ended up with, it's a pretty evil joke, but we have to deal with the cards we're dealt. It's to the point now that I've put the cards down and left the table once again, I'd rather go and play slots alone.

Metaphors aside though (if that's what I was doing), I have no interest at all in gambling. I've spent a total of roughly $30 in gambling in my lifetime, and that's on two different occasions, one of which was because I had seen a 'Princess Bride' slot machine so just had to stick $5 in it to see what it'd do/say. That movie is fucking hilarious. Anyways, the store will open in 10 minutes, gonna go and do those groceries. Almost out of bread.

If you’re in a position where you’re able to limit how much you drink, you should keep your tolerance as low as possible until NYE in my opinion.

Sorry to hear about the family stuff. Was moving entire cities away the only option available? I ran away once when I was younger due to some family abuse issues but I don’t have experience with being definitively kicked out so no advice there, I’d imagine you’d be quite driven to make it on in spite of them.

>neetbux arrived early
>waiting patiently for the liquor store to open at 9

neetbux came. Been waiting two weeks. No more beer with nickels

Gonna score 4 fifths and go to the homeless shelter later for dope or pills

Yeah I can limit how much I drink, I've even gone 4 days straight without booze before, in fact that's what I did from December 3-6. I drank on the 2nd and 7th. Also Nov 6-8, there's three days straight between drunks. I get what you mean about keeping my tolerance low, but nah, I'm too psyched about that 20% wine. If ever I was going to indulge, might as well do it during the holidays!

The family stuff was a long time coming, I had moved to a different city before and this is the second time. I want to be as far from them as possible. I had been definitively kicked out before, at least twice, the first of which I had the cops called on me. Hardcore feminist mother, also a raging alcohol, she had physically attacked me while drunk on a couple occasions. The cops were completely unnecessary, it was also during the winter.

I'll make it, no worries. Yeah it's a bit tough, I do miss some of my family, but I'm determined to make something of myself before getting back in contact. Also, ended up getting $49 in groceries. Really stocked up, the only things I should have to buy in January ought to be bread and milk, basically. Gotta save up for a new computer; this laptop is almost a decade old and on its way out. In an hour or two I'll go to the liquor store to score that wine, looking forward to it! REALLY affordable price by local standards! 1.5L of 20% for $22!

The surveillance van finally left, it was here from 6 pm to 4:28 am. They didn't think I'd stay up and surveil them back but I did and now I know.

Why would anyone have you under surveillance?

literal fucking niggers

Literal brat :^)

I literally dgaf

Got the bottle; Kelly's. "An easy sipping wine with a touch of the Old Blarney." Beau Chatel Wines, Truro NS, Canada. 1.5L of 20%; 300ml of ethanol. Certainly enough to get me fucked up at least once, or if I drink fast it might get me all the way there one night and then halfway there the next. Normally I drink bloody fast, but this time? I think I'm gonna make a day of it. Come noon, I'm cracking her open, and I'm going to take my time drinking it all day. It'll be hard to break myself of the habit of going full-tilt but I'll try to take my time with it.

Too lazy to take a pic of it, but what's everyone else drinking on this pleasant day?

>but what's everyone else drinking on this pleasant day?

Nothing. I've been on a week long bender and today my anxiety is so bad that I cant leave the house to go to the liquor store. Feels bad, but I had to stop at some point I guess. I think I'm going to order a pizza and watch movies all day.

Sorry to hear about the anxiety, but sounds like you've got an otherwise great day ahead of you! I might drop by Subway later to get a footlong, or I'll stay home and make some ham and cheese sandwiches again. I make kickass sandwiches, but I don't enjoy them as much as Subway's. Could make some mac&cheese instead, or some simple ramen, but I feel like treating myself to something special. Pizza sounds incredible but I still have to keep in mind that I'm on a budget. There's a place nearby that I can get a burger, chicken nuggets and fries that's less than $10 after taxes so I plan on having that on New Year's Eve. Got a can of gravy and meatballs, if I get some proper cheese I could make the fries into poutine. It's not REAL poutine without GOOD gravy and actual cheese curds, but I'm an anglophone peasant; poor man's poutine is good enough for me.

You know you're an alcoholic when the liquor store cashier stops saying "have a good day" and starts saying "be careful"

You know you're an alcoholic when you walk to a liquor store and they deny you service because you're already obviously drunk

You know you're an alcoholic when you don't worry about whether or not you have your ID because the cashier will recognize you

You know you're an alcoholic when you start paying for that morning pint with change.

You know you're an alcoholic when you feel your heart beating through your chest.

You know you're an alcoholic when you walk to get booze without underwear on.

You know you're an alcoholic when you call the "gas station" the "liquor store"

Mate I've been having blood on the toilet paper and inside bowl (fresh) for around 4 years with no pain when shitting. Sometimes people just bleed

likely an internal descended roid. Harmless. Still, get a colonoscopy at 35 to check for irregularities.

How many drinks do you have to drink before you're considered an alcoholic?

And how many do you have to drink before your liver gives up?

Twice your age squared, multiplied by the circumference of your cock, minus 0.468, plus your favourite root vegetable.

>general

Yesterday I drank myself stupid and fell asleep from 8:00-9:00pm

tossed and turned from pain and panic/anxiety until 5:30am

was able to fall sleep at 6:30am, slept till noon

first time in ... months that I've fallen asleep sober, the booze had completely worn off by the time i fell asleep

i woke up feeling fucking amazing and not anxious at all, the opposite of how i usually feel

i had forgotten this feel

is this what being sober is like?

I got 11,615.532 potatoes, is that bad?

get a consult with a surgeon and have him band that fucker

you are fine. you are not an alcoholic until your favorite veg is a guy named Mitch you know from AA.

Stupid file size limit, I have a few drunk.webms

There are no answers to these questions. Depends on the person and context.
Alcoholism is when you have physical or psychological withdrawals, and/or when it interacts negatively on other parts of your life.
Liver isn't necessarily the first to give up. Can be brain damage, pancreas, blindness, nerves that fuck up first or together.

Post on and link here.

Won’t fit there either, dammit.
Plus they’re nsfw.
Here are a couple regardless. Pls contribute, s’all I’ve got that’ll fit

i used to know a chick like this, total degenerate, kinda fun tho. i put her head through a wall after she woke me up with disgusting unwiped ass in my face, never heard from her again

can you link to that /gif/ thread, i dont know how to find it

Shaking and vomitig bile lads. Not having a great time

Link is right there... >bile
Eat more, dude. I used to puke bile like 20 times every morning if I wasn’t eating, awful

vodka drinkers report in

I've walked to get booze without underwear on, but that's just because during that time of my life I went commando. Just... didn't see the point of underwear... or at least didn't care. I think all those are signs of a HARDCORE alcohol though, there's some who are functioning alcoholics and don't deal with stuff like that.

Vodka is great, but I prefer rum or absinthe.

>absinthe
leave

Why don't you like it?

>Trying to drink less
>QT cashier at liquor store flirts with me
>Almost out of tequila, hardcore tempted to go back and get more liquor even though I shouldn't so I can see her again
Life was easier when it was the old man working the register

>absinthe

Can we get dome PAWS experiences posted? I’m 3 days 100% sober today, fucking devastating mood swings, insomnia, lethargy, general ill feel feels. Not having fun here.

>day 3

good luck with your seizure mate, do you have anyone around?

I tapered for three weeks.

ah nice man. how much were you drinking, what was your taper?

seizures are rare, and the risk of having one is over in about a week. Leave him alone and let him shake it out.

day three guy... go take a shower. You are getting better. Keep at it.

I began a cider taper from around a couple of bottles of vodka daily. I had benzos and weed too. Still a fucking nightmare, but death was too close, I didn’t have much choice. The fear has gone completely now but has been replaced by a horrendous lethargy and irritability. Last time I had PAWS it was still fucking with me after seven months, when I relapsed.
Thanks dude. I’ve had seizures, not nice. I’m showering every day, for a change, and eating well. Still feel like utter shit. I feel like it’ll never end

it wont... day 97. It just gets more familiar, and that is at least more comfortable. there will always be something missing

God dammit. I kind of thought as much. PAWS doesn’t end, you just accept it and cope, I guess.
Fucking hell.
Life feels boring as hell. I feel boring as hell. A team of Hollywood hotties could walk through my door dressed only in money and I’d shrug them off. Can’t enjoy a damn thing.
Well done on 97 days though mang. I only managed 7 months because I had a ‘fresh start’ in a new house, new area, new neighbor who’d sunbathe half naked in her garden.
Christ I’m bored.
Will. Not. Relapse.
Probably.

Shit.

Oh and the nightmares, horrific, and the brain fog. Horrible. I feel like my I.q has halved, like I’m half asleep all the time, like life isn’t... quite real somehow.
A stomach full of ethanol and within 5 minutes I’d feel superb. Don’t have much confidence that I’ll manage to stay sober much longer. Sigh.

00:03. Day 4 begins.

how old are you? how long were you drinking?

Hahaha, my fuckin' roommates are retards! One of em got their girlfriend over, I gave them a couple shots worth of this wine and soon they asked for half a flask of it. A small flask, like 250ml or something. maybe 200ml. Anyways, I played my cards right and they paid $10 for it. Seriously took like 20 seconds and they OFFERED $5 and I showed the SLIGHTEST apprehension and they offered $10! BOOM! Then as the conversation went I mentioned that my room mate owed me a little over $5 from several months ago, he played it off as "one or two months", and I said it was "DEFINITELY over two months" which it was. He has issues with his woman over money because he's an idiot who's horrible with it, and in the end she forced him to pay me $10 "for interest"! So I basically got this $22 bottle of wine for FREE for sharing... what... 300ml of it? It's a 1.5L bottle, 1500ml! FUCK YEAH!

I also got offered pot. I was a stoner for years, but I much prefer booze. Passed on the offer both times and they didn't offer again. Also, his woman is way into me. Kinda weird since she's literally over twice my age, but kinda funny because she seems to really enjoy cucking her 'boyfriend'. Honestly, I'd never touch her, at least not without a rubber, because fuck knows how many men she's been with. Both considering her age and her attitude. What a nightmare woman, thinks that "animals are poor defenceless creatures" and men who hunt them are "savage murderers" and shit like that, fucking idiot.

youtube.com/watch?v=JzwbOZKfrUQ

I wanted to show her this vid SO bad... which would you rather? Get eaten alive by a fucking bear, or get killed instantaneously by a skilled hunter? I'll take the bullet, thank you very much.

97 here 3... smoke weed, but do not depend on it. Mood control has to be relearned.

I’m not far off 40, I’ve been drunk since I was 15.
Yeah weed is a godsend. My tolerance instantly goes batshit though, it cost me thousands on extracts and buds to get sober this time.
Did you find new hobbies or anything? Thinking maybe I’ll look for a gf.

The first week or two really suck.
Have a routine, shower daily, eat healthy, go out and have some physical activity (you don't have to exhaust yourself, walking a mile or two is better than staying in all day in the couch. It'll help with sleep.)
I don't remember what pills help. Melatonin, St Something Worts, stuff like that.

Sleep will come back eventually. Continue the routine until anhedonia and brain fog leave, this can take months.

Nah, it's just very slow, you don't feel yourself going better much. And that boredom is anhedonia.

I shit post and fight liberals and women. It's fun. I also play a lot of texas hold em and work a lot

i just turned 32, been drinking *heavily* for about 5 years. moderately for 11. I drink whiskey. Does vodka have the same amount of alcohol as whiskey? I can't imagine drinking 3 bottles of whiskey per day