You're running a food stall at a renaissance faire

>i want something spicy and hot!

three moorish queens from andalusia arrive.

can you come up with a meal fit for royalty?

Wench, fetch me a Bang's Old Tyme Root Beer.

shit, what do orcs eat?

Dick

Dry dog food for the orcs.

Perpetual stew, rabbit most likely, and fresh bread.
Maybe a nice homebrewed beer as well. Something dark and sweet.
I wish we had renfairs here. They look like fun and possibly a good place to meet other archers.

>you there! get me hammered fast, or face the wrath of dionysus

If by face the wrath of dionysus means get fucked by your feminine centaur penis, then ok.

>tfw no centaur gf

You satyr; You brought her.

Eppsi

Traditional Irish stew and apple juice

Trenches full of spiced meat stews of 2 kinds: spiced pork sausages in lovage sauce, and the renaissance version of coq au vin.

*Trenchers*
Fucking autocorrect.

We've got a yearly renfair but I've never really felt the inclination to go.
I think I might go sometime but I expect it to be like the state fair ("If you've gone one year, you've gone every year")

I've been going to one in Ohio for years. They serve roasted turkey legs, soup in bread bowls, all kinds of meat, beers. Most recently, this past year, they had pineapple soft serve served in a whole, hollowed out pineapple.

Pretty much. They have some cool acts at the one near me and unique stores, but going once every few years is good enough for me. Titties everywhere though

I'm unironically down to oogle fatty corset cleavage.

So this is what the ten percent of tryhard tards that go right instead if left look like when they aren't nazi larpers. It's like bizarro world antifa.

That's the place to go then. Best part every year desu

Horseshoe theory.

Well, less embarrassing to his side compared to antifa, but still pretty bad.
More on par with your average sjw, I suppose, but less accepted by their side.

>thinks "antifa" is a real thing

Humans

Well, they we're until they got their shit pushed in on their home turf at Berkeley. They're still around but cowed.
Not sure what was the point of the Nov 4 Veeky Forums falseflag. That came out of pol.
Did make for a good picture of three lonely protestors in front of the Whitehouse while Pence and Trump were gone for the week.

>can't even satan
The absolute state of the alt-right

So Veeky Forums really is full of women.

Interesting you brought that up, alt right is less real than antifa. It was a group of like 5 larpers and the media assigned the term for a giant tent movement that scared the shit out of them to conflate the two.
I'm surrounded by hardcore pro-trumpers where I live and I've never once heard any use the term alt right. Not once. And they all know Spencer is a plant and hate him. Not even from never trumpers I hang out with have I heard the term alt right used.
Only from the media and online.

>I'm in a red state
>let me tell you how it is in a blue state

I'm actually in a blue state. Purple occasionally. I'm just not in one of the ghettos or hispter towns.

i wouldn't make a pint of beer 10$

Oh, and I had to move because so many fucking MS13 and illegals in my old town after liberals moved in. They moved as well after it got bad, of course.
If Democrats' white base voted with their minds the way they do with their feet, Democrats would never win another race.

Well, I'm in a "hispter town" and I can assure you, I'm literally wearing a Che Guevara shirt and we're currently planning the violent overthrow of straight white christian men as soon as our wounds heal (we all just got done chopping off our dicks because gender isn't real). Everything they tell you on Brietbart News about life in normal people places is a true fact.

Great anecdotal evidence. The alt right is a meme, but it's a meme that definitely altered the election and gathered a lot of frustrated young men and women underneath it. Labelling a large group of Trump supporters as alt right just furthered the success of trumps campaign. They lumped a bunch already angered votersinto into a category they defined as racist, homophobic, xenophobic, etc.
The alt right was just a self destructive term the dems grasped on to so they could generalize a large portion of the population. It became a real thing, but is now just a joke

MEAT

MAGGOTY BREAD

Dude I hear my neighbors shooting off guns including machine guns every couple days and everyone here is loaded to the gills. We can practice shooting in our own yards. You wouldnt stand a chance lol.

a centuar has 4 legs you fucking idiots

Sweet rolls

The alt right was a term taken from a small group of Nazi larpers and the madie applied it to a huge swathe of people that elected Trump.
The end. That's it. It's literally fake news.

We don't need guns, all we have to do is trick your fast food joints into slipping a vegetable into your chicken sandwich and you will instantly become a soiboi and die of the gay plague of AIDS

Well, I kinda wondered if that was bait. Shame on me.

>Furry rage

>nerdy butterface
Be still my dick.

Also want to have beers with Viking Phil Margera. Bet he knows where to get the sloppiest drunk food that I would love but never eat sober.

Went to the Sherwood Forest Fair in Texas a couple of years ago.

Highlights included the guy dressed as an elf screaming at folks from up the trees that they kept a sheriff deputy following just in case, and the dirty poet ambushing people from behind stalls with ballads about menstruation. The locally made mead was excellent, and saw someone unhorsed violently enough in the joust to make me believe it wasn't entirely scripted. Would go again.

Pickles. So fucking cheap but people will gladly pay $10+ dollars for one.

Well that's just ridiculous. You could probably get away with selling whole pickles for $2 from a $5 jar (not displayed that way, obviously) which is still a tidy profit, but no one is buying a $10 pickle. They'd just get a $8 beer or $7 hotdog or whatever by that point.

Sausages.
Lots of sausages

They sell whole pickles for 1$ there already

This is why renessaince faires and the like are so pathetic. I don't have a problem with historical reenactment, but people don't know the difference between history and fucking fantasy games.

last ren fair I went to there were literal furries running around in full dog costumes. It seems like they've become a free-for-all desu. just and excuse to dress up as whatever and larp or yiff or whatever

Dude get this... a few years ago I went to a Ren Fair and saw 2 people dressed up as Star Trek characters! Guess what I did about it! Nothing because it didn't trigger me.

is it lonely at the top?

Am I being pretentious because I don't give a fuck about what people dress up as at a fair? lmao It's fine up here btw.

They may have just been on an away mission back in time. Maybe they were tasked by a giant space tube to recover off season carney workers and mutton joints.

nah brah, just sayin everyone has their triggers. his just happens to be very specific

I don't even go to renessaince faires so so it's not a problem for me, what I mean is that it's fucking pathetic that there's so many grown people who see the word "renessaince" and think great, I'll dress up as fucking dumbledore

You're very optimistic if you think dude is only triggered by that if that's what his trigger is. Sounds more like a guy that gets triggered if he sees a Mexican dude making his Sushi but I'll go with you for now.

I understand where you're coming from, but I think it's more about fun than historical fact and custom. People are paying to escape from day-to-day life and forgot their problems, eat meat, drink beer, and oggle beer wenches. Simpler times.

>Right after the election the leftypol narrative was that Trump won on the back of super red rural states and the same people that always vote Republican, you didnt make a difference goy!
>Now the narrative is that shitposting on Veeky Forums is going to cause the fall of the west with memes
I swear they'll be praising kek next.

There's plenty of other larping venues, why not go to fucking comic-con if you wanna dress up as your favorite pony

Are you implying the internet isn't influential in western society?

>I am so mad over this place I never go!
You need to calm down, laddie. I think the larping venues are what YOU need to be hitting up because the RenFair is as fucking normie as it gets.

As a libertarian, I enjoy seeing the stunted believe an ideological extreme provides for them rather than circumstance or exceptional experience. It's not snake oil, it's a superior acception of reality. Reality sucks for most no matter what.

Ren fests are cheaper and less crowded and surprisingly have less autistic people there than comic con

>mfw no katawa shoujo centaur gf

Look at the legs on that fat bastard behind her. Carrying that much weight around he must have solid steel muscles underneath. I bet he could kick a horse to death.

We don't have state fairs either.
I just moved to a new town and it claims to have a "food festival" in 2 weeks that I want to go to but I suspect it's going to be like 3 stalls.
Well, it'll never get bigger unless people show up so I'll go.

And I find it amusing that you two fucking idiots think that obvious strawman is real.

Yeah. I was watching some documentary about one of those 400 lb. people the other day and thought the same thing; if you stripped all the fat off her in one day she'd be amazingly strong. I can't imagine having to carry around all that weight everywhere you go.

Maybe if you were really fat and decided to lose weight you could carry a weighted backpack everywhere and add to it as you lost weight. When you've lost 10 lb you carry a 10 lb backpack, after losing 20 you carry 20 and so on. by the end you'd have all the fattie strength without being a fattie.
I don't know.

Stealing memes by the point they're stale is their whole bread and butter.

That's how I don't get how these people end up on scooters. I'm fat by this point (thanks beer and booze), and my legs are like fucking rippled tree trunks that would make that guy from Jurassic Park blush.
That said, people with way bigger guts weigh less than me, so I don't get it.

>People with way bigger guts weigh less than me
Your body image is fucked, dingus.

Nah, like my gut sticks out less than an inch stabbing under with a ruler, and this guy only an inch shorter is rocking a boulder over his belt at twenty pounds less.
I know I'm fat. I just don't get how even fatter people weigh less. I barely work out. They must barely move.

Cinnamon sugar donuts.

And this guy has arms as big as mine, and not less defined.
I always had big legs. My quads must weigh a ton.
Girls liked it up, but I always hated it. Thank God I have broad shoulders.

Nah, I used to be fat, you're a goddamned elephant, your brain just won't let you admit it.

>they think this photo is real

i sometimes forget that ceekay is full of facebook moms

>thinks "alt-right" is a real thing

Maybe? I doubt it though. I've rockinrolla'd dudes taller and fatter than me with ease.
I'm not trying to pretend I'm not fat.

...

Those young nerdy people, which came along much later, refer to themselves as kekistani or something.

>They must barely move.
This is why, muscle is a lot denser than fat. If you are just fat you can still be a lot lighter than someone with muscle mass.

...

Maidens ass on right. This dark wizard pictured will slayeth?

The dredges of the left still manage to be more repulsive.

nice dubs

>resplendent

>Drinks dog blood.

Not to mention, that guy in the bottom right is an obvious false flag unless he just happens to be the last remain Redskin fan that still wears a pig nose, depite being thirty years too late.

>Even bob and vagenes are boarding the Trump train
Better make sure the fix is in, because posting gawky young people getting ready to be voting age that support Trump does not help your case.

...