Thoughts on this book? Is it worth the read? It seems like most everything in it is common sense. Will it make you care more about other people or just see them as automatons?
Is it still relevant after the last decade of behavioral psych discoveries?
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I don't care for that sort of human relationships.
>inb4 someone gets angry at me on the internet
Honestly, it's worth at least one read. I have friends who read it once a year. The approaches they suggest seem very superficial and fake, but it works for 'business-like' situations, and strangers. Having read it I became much more keen on how people might try to use their influence on me to get me to do things.
pic related.
Read it, but combine with more modern stuff.
It's good basic common sense advice but don't take it as some kind of bible, also keep in mind the time period it was written. Some of the advice is timeless psychological stuff but a lot of it is the typical :just walk in a look the manager in the eyes" type of stuff that doesn't necessarily work in the modern world anymore. Either way it's worth a read.
i dont trust anyone who owns this book
I read it and have no friends
...
> I don't care for that sort of human relationships.
I used to think this myself. Essentially, its about motivation on your end. The paradox is that you are simply not motivated enough to be polite to the people around you because they are all rather droll on the whole.
As Harvey Danger said
> If you're bored then you're boring, the agony and the irony, it's killing me
So its easy to be bored when you see the people around you as pretty much just sheep. You have to find something worth living for, and the rest will fall into place. The book is good advice, regardless of whether or not you value "those types of friendships". Its essentially the bible of modern behavioral psychology.
>Read it, but combine with more modern stuff.
I read Cialdini's influence recently. I would recommend both of these books in either order. Old philosophy has a lot of overlap with Carnegie and Cialdini. So ya I'd say give Win Friends a read, but also branch out to other forms of philosophy. Win Friends isn't the be-all-end-all of psych
I've tried for years to get people to like me.
As I'm mostly an oddball at heart, it hasn't worked much. I just subscribe to different philosophies than a great deal of people. It's probably congenital. Both of my parents are fucking weird.
BUT there's one thing that I've found to be valuable. I just do my thing and try not to care about socializing. I'll socialize with people the way I see fit, i.e. which ironically takes the pressure off of me to *act* any kind of way. Ironically, not giving a shit in this way seems to make people like me more.
In a nutshell b urself. It's dumb that this cliche is actually the truth. It's easy to hear and scoff at, and I think the path to achieving it is different for everyone.
My path: I eventually just got sick and tired of appeasing people in social situations. I pursue my hobbies and my work and talk to the people I think matter, drop the ones I don't. I don't necessarily go into conversations apathetically, but I do so with a somewhat don't give a fuck attitude. I don't talk for the sake of talking and I say what I think boldly.
God I sound like such a pseudo-intellectual. Honestly cringe stuff here. Carry on.
You know for the amount I shit on this book and things like it, I am currently sitting in my one bedroom apartment alone, my iPhone is still on the same charge from Saturday morning because no one texts me ever, I didn't speak to a single person face-to-face today, and it's legitimately going to cause my to kill myself soon.
you sound like kanye user
i am kanye
keep up the good work man we all love ya
Personally, I quit my job to be with my thoughts until anxiety was my bitch. Insecurities have to be ironed out in interaction if they aren't purely in your head/"don't matter."
Meditation made it quite a bit easier to get a bearing on things.
Good to hear. I meditate ten minutes daily myself. I've also really embraced Stoicism. Seems to help a lot.
>Meditation made it quite a bit easier to get a bearing on things.
meditation is underrated as fuck. since i started meditating it's easier to focus on things, remember things, commit to things, etc. it's good practice.
I read it 1.5 times.
It's a good book, but I've personally found it difficult to apply unless I've been actually actively meditating over the reading.
Harvey Danger ironically breaks up due to fan boredom.
He basically writes each chapter dedicated to some obvious and common social gesture and then backs it up by made up stories and situations.
It doesn't hurt to read it once and be reminded of some basic decency and social integrity, but it won't change much. If you were introverted or socially inept before it, you will continue being so after it as well.
It isn't a bad book, but it's highly overrated I believe.
I thought the letter from the father to his son was cute but that's about it
