TOMORROW!!

TOMORROW!!

Anyone copping this ironically? It will be top of the bestsellers regardless, it'd interesting to probe the minds of teenage girls through their obsessions. They will be the progenitors of the future

I've got a signed copy coming that I preordered months ago. I'm not a huge fan of his writing, but I've followed John and Hank's Youtube channel(s) for years and I respect him enough to give anything he writes a shot. I'll blow through it in a day or two.

People just expect more from his writing than they should. It's YA lit and was written with the intention of being so, so you're going to get a book that speaks to teenagers the way that they want to be spoken to. It's going to have cringe-tastic dialogue and dramatic teenage characters and a grand plot that doesn't make a ton of sense. Just enjoy it for what it is.

please stop

Professional reviewer here, I was given an advance copy.

This shit is a good read.

I'm a John Green fan. His books are cute and I draw a lot of my own personal meaning from them.

hey book fags
/tv brainlet here.
does your board have paid shills like ours>?

FOrealz?

no our boards shills do it for free

Really? Same here! I got through my copy and wrote an article. I titled it "YA Trash All the Way Through".

This is the first time I've seen people shilling for Green

Even from title I can tell this is awful

>trust me guys I'm an anime cunnyseur!
fuck off

I know what I'm getting my gf for her birthday

unironically anime is a better artistic medium than anything Green has done and I don't even watch it I just save pictures on a cantonese fish farm making website

You mustn't respect your girlfriend very much, unless she's underage

I've been reading this at work since we got copies early. It's not as bad as I expected. The depiction of anxiety is okay but the story is pretty contrived. A character gets a police report from a reporter by emailing them from a fake email address that looks like their boss's email for example. The prose isn't too offensive, mostly because he probably knows he isn't a great writer and only occasionally goes into overwrought territory. And honestly it does sometimes work. Ideally a teenager would go straight into the adult fiction but if they're going to read YA garbage this is probably better than 95% of the other stuff out there.

I also can't tell if the copyeditors missed it (which is weird because how many people must have read this?), or I'm an idiot but I think he used the word begged when he meant begged off.

"anything Green has done" isn't a medium

I was planning on going to Books A Million tomorrow. How packed will it be?

I'll try stealing and scanning it

My personal favorite part was when the time travel shenanigans brings the Buddah to the present time and he discusses how profound youtube is.

come and get it

AT THE TIME I FIRST REALIZED I might be fictional, my weekdays were spent at a publicly funded institution on the north side of Indianapolis called White River High School, where I was required to eat lunch at a particular time—between 12:37 P.M. and 1:14 P.M.—by forces so much larger than myself that I couldn’t even begin to identify them. If those forces had given me a different lunch period, or if the tablemates who helped author my fate had chosen a different topic of conversation that September day, I would’ve met a different end—or at least a different middle. But I was beginning to learn that your life is a story told about you, not one that you tell.
Of course, you pretend to be the author. You have to. You think, I now choose to go to lunch, when that monotone beep rings from on high at 12:37. But really, the bell decides. You think you’re the painter, but you’re the canvas.
Hundreds of voices were shouting over one another in the cafeteria, so that the conversation became mere sound, the rushing of a river over rocks. And as I sat beneath fluorescent cylinders spewing aggressively artificial light, I thought about how we all believed ourselves to be the hero of some personal epic, when in fact we were basically identical organisms colonizing a vast and windowless room that smelled of Lysol and lard.
I was eating a peanut butter and honey sandwich and drinking a Dr Pepper. To be honest, I find the whole process of masticating plants and animals and then shoving them down my esophagus kind of disgusting, so I was trying not to think about the fact that I was eating, which is a form of thinking about it.

>You think you’re the painter, but you’re the canvas.
Holy..

t. John Green

>I also can't tell if the copyeditors missed it (which is weird because how many people must have read this?), or I'm an idiot but I think he used the word begged when he meant begged off.

I just got to that scene. Aza and mom are having dinner in front of the TV. After a while, she "begged homework and escaped to my room."

So not begged off, but "invoked" homework in order to leave.

are there any YA books that accurately depict teenagers? looking at porn, smoking pot, etc. etc.?

The noble artist John Green accurately depicted the tense and tender expirence of teeange fellatio, pushing artistic boundries while accurately writing about the termoil of young love. I'm sure his artistic efforts will eventually be rewarded by the Nobel committee.

>teenage fantasy sex that doesn't result in pregnancy

I said realistic.

Guy who wrote this post checking back in, I finished the book and it was pretty much exactly as I described.

This is definitely the most autobiographical thing he's written since Looking for Alaska, and it delves really, really deep into his struggles with OCD. Definitely worth a read. The whole 'murder mystery' plot was overstated in the summary and what the book ended up being about was so much more compelling.

A Clockwork Orange

kek and tru

Why would this even matter?

I'm going to buy this book and nothing you guys say will stop me.

Eat my entire ass

is he still her favourite writer?

This can't be a real thing that happens.

No, Kanye West is.

Sage

I will be picking it up from my Oxfam bookstore when it inevitable pops up there

Place always has a bibliography of recently donated John Green on hand

I unironically I enjoy reading bad literature like this, Ready Player One is my favorite "how can people actually like this" lit

Trust me. This is the cookiest YA there is. It's locomotion alternates between the most hamfisted pop-culture references I have ever seen and pretenses of depth. Sometimes they coincide in truly bizarre moments like when we learn AMVs are art.


They are also printing copies like crazy, everyone on the inside expects to sell like crazy.

Had a really low-level English course today that involved multiple Harry Potter anecdotes, feminist critique of Disney films, a brief discussion about Game of Thrones and Breaking bad, and finally concluded in an excerpt from the first few sentences of this new John Green book.

what class were you in?

His class was really hell all along.

Can someone please post the pasta where the guy is real hype about this book but he's worried that John green hates niggers?

>the first things that comes to his mind about the accurate depiction of teenagers are cannabis and pornography

fucking degenerate

Chuck Tingle

that's not class, that's hell.

>the tense and tender expirence of teeange fellatio
>accurately writing about the termoil of young love

and here I am never experienced any of these things. life is not about second chances, so I will never experience these things. I wasted my teenagehood. and now I'm chastised for hating john green and all other faggot shit because deep down I'm furiously envious and want to kill myself.