Things that make you immediately drop a book

>Purple prose

>Racism

>Misogyny

>Story starts with character waking up

>Racism
>misogyny

That's the only reason I'd ever pick a book up. Praise Kek

Feminism

>>Story starts with character waking up

What's wrong with that?

>The Caucasian male homosapien arose from a deep, etherial slumber, greeting the rising magnificence of Helios' fiery chariot racing across the heavens with a growling, stretching yawn.

>Looking down, he coldly regarded the draped, prone form of his inferior quadroon paramour.

>quadroon
Nice. Thank you.

epic post

Book starts with:
>be me

You just fell for OP's bait

>Open book
>Limp Bizkit starts playing

>TFW I just started his book for him
What a fool i've been.

fpbp fellow gentlepolack

Biting a hook ironically draws ire not blood

You're both incredibly dull people.

>reddit spacing
>hyperrealist ""art""
>capitalizing greentext
>subject field
>numale sensibilities and autismal grievances

trolled hard

whenever a book or short story starts off with "My name is [insert name] and this is my story"

It drives me up a wall

>rayddit obsession
>caring about spacing
>liking what I don't like
>""muh special memeing rules""
>literally not even a thing
>babby poltardian slang
Underage faggot three months off plebbit really overeager to fit in into ""special secret meme club"": the post.

>Racism

>Misogyny

I mean I know it's bait but the excellent trend in exhaustively searching works for inherent Misogyny is a great way to identify pseuds

>>Story starts with character waking up
So much this. I unironically dropped The Metamorphosis and Gravity's Rainbow because of it.

t. OP
fuck off back to whatever subreddit hole you crawled from, vermin

>female author

>t. OP
>literal special club embryo can't even into IP counter
Just stop, you're already dead.

>Doesn't start with Bismillah ir Rahman ir Rahim

Dropped quicker than a faggot falls off a rooftop.

>a redditor's riposte

>unironical LE RAYDDIT

>the redditor squirms: "I've been found out"

...

...

...

Wow that's realistic cum.

Is it just me, or does that dragon have a genuinely troubled D: look on its face? Like it believed he queen that she was single and now feels kinda shitty?

is reddit spacing the hottest meme?
I'm absolutely certain it only came up a couple months ago

>author thanks page or dedication
>doesn't acknowledge the Lord Jesus Christ

I like the Queen's expression. It's like "Yeah, I'm fucking a dragon. How about that, pussy?"

>>Racism
>>Misogyny

Pfft. Thus you arbitrarily eliminate large swaths of excellent literature written lo these past several hundred years.

Thus you constrain and castrate the passion and power of literature and change it into your own personal hug box.

Sad.

Boy I love Lovecraft too

Doesn't seem like the worst point in life to be cucked by actual Lucifer.

...

Any book written by an American or Bulgarian.

>not thanking your current Patron Saint
Garbage

>promotes backwards world views
>excellent literature
These stories lack merit and are barely applicable for our world sans the technical aspects.

No idea how OP feels about it, and it's probably bait either way but for me it's not the hug box aspect, neither thing ever affected me, it's just like reading a story from a child who thinks thunder is caused by angry clouds and babies are brought by birds. If it's written very well, it can be still entertaining but there isn't much else to gain.

>author is a woman
>book written in the last 50 years
>book is a bestseller
>author's name bigger than title
>reddit likes the book

all these are enough to stop me from picking it up.

>has words in it
FTFY

frick off back to r*ddit

>getting this triggered over an opinion
It's like you're an oversensitive little faggot.

>the text on the spine is upside down when the book is sitting with the cover facing up
AAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA
AAAAAAAAAA

Wow, a homophobic slur. That's very. . .backward of you user. I'll be sure to let the Diversity Officer know about this little chat.

>pick up a book
>it's scalding hot
>drop it immediately

>*record scratch*
>you're probably wondering how my dick got into this mess

Veeky Forums talks more about not reading than reading

If Veeky Forums tells me I'm a pseud for liking it

Never read the Trial

You want to know how I know you enjoy BLACKED?

>reddit likes the book
>reddit doesn't like the book
>Veeky Forums likes the book
>it's printed on paper
>it has a title
>it's a book
>it was written by a person

a mind I don't respect or care to explore, that's the only reason I'd ever put down a book once I begin. I imagine it as being similar to someone you'd find repulsive to be around, for me Gabriel Garcia Marquez comes to mind: a perverted hack who has absolutely nothing of interest worth noting.

Nice post fellow kekistani,
wubba lubba dub dub

>Author is Jewish

ROLLING ROLLING ROLLING ROLLONG

no its been around for years
t. not newfag

I want to go read some Howard now

Under rated.

>Inability to detect bait

Look at this faggot. Look at him and laugh! Ahahaha!!

>author is gay

Mishima is the only gay author I've read that wasn't complete shit

>purple prose
Do you mean actual purple prose or do you mean prose more difficult than in an airport novel?

Overrated

>he thinks he can apply morality to text

fuck I love Howard

gravity

>main character is a depressed writer

I demand photographic evidence of this.

>the metamorphasis begins with the main character waking

...

What actually is purple prose? Is there a better definition than being a tryhard?

>es ist schreiben im Englisch