Everyone greentext your ancestry

>dad is from a kind of well known family in northern lebanon
>paternal great grandfather was quite wealthy, his estate is now a museum
>paternal grandfather gambled away all the money and had over 10 children
>dad came to the us to escape the lebanese civil war
>i have like a hundred cousins all over the world, one in lebanese parliament who i met for the first time while he was on the run hiding from hezbollah
>mom was a hippy
>maternal grandfather was a naval captain in ww2
>maternal grandmother was apparently a freemason who remarried later to some nudist masonic dude

What the fuck m8

I want to know more about your life

Daddy:
>tfw mommy has been a carpet muncher since high school
>daddy is sperm donor
>atleast he was white
Mommy:
>now we get some entertainment
>grandma is a military baby born so born in england
>went to middle school on a base in japan and shirt
>married 3 times grandaddy being 1st
>her dad played mini league baseball in mississippi
>her mom was really nice or something
>both german/British
>grandad now
>tannest aryan you ever will meet
>his dad is pure german
>senpai immigrated to minnesota in 1800's
>died of radiation
>his mom is norwegian swede combo master race
>one of the swedes died in a logging accident
>tfw he was squashed my some random guys wood

also thinking of getting a dna test so i can see if donor daddy is also pure northern euro

Fathers side
>Peasants in Britain since dawn of time
>Great-Grandpa moves to Canada
>dirt poor in Ottawa, family of 4
>world war, lives but is a cranky old fart
>Grandpa works for Bell and makes a decent living, moves all over Ontario with family of 4
>my dad joins the RCAF, flies helos in Yugoslavia
>raises family of 5 and doesn't go out on deployment again, becomes Colonel

>Be Celts
>Drove out filthy proto-peoples all the way to the Pyrnees
>Life is good
>What's this? Some tribes in the South have united?
>No big deal
>Those tribes have conquered all their Italic neighbors, including brothers in Venetia
>It's go time, their armies march on Gaul.
>Some of my ancestors flee, other stay to defend the homeland.
>Try to fight them, but they use tactics and armor while we hoot and holler and wiggle our junk at them.
>Remember, a Gaul always carries two spears
>Jealous Latins take over Gaul and the other neighbors.
>Ancestors that fled the combat settle down in Britannia.
>Filthy Latins land invasion force there.
>Oh shit
>Flee to lands so far north that the people living there turn blue every so often.
>better than Latins tbqh familia...
>Romans continue to rampage through Europe, but grow fat off of foreign laborers and slaves
>Ancestors adopt Latin lifestyle over time
>Knock Knock, get the door
>It's the Germans and Goths
>Turns out there is some apocalyptic horse niggers coming right for us, can we come in
>No
>Fuck you, we're comin in anyway
>Gaul falls along with Western Rome as enough Barbarians to rival Europe's modern immigration crisis enter West Europe.
>Filthy barbarians called "Franks" carve out some territory and fancy themselves kings
>End up learning a lot of Latin language and culture just like we did, become fast bros as the world grew a little darker as Rome fell twice to other Germanigs
>Ancestors in England weather storm of several Germanic invasions, but live well among the Celts in Pictland
>Centuries pass and the Franks became full blown Latinboos. Their language and culture change so much that their ancestors would not recognize their descendants
>My ancestors are some of the first to follow the House of Bourbon.
>Typed "sleep tight Bourbie" on ye olde 4chane
>Good fortune was theirs
>Colonized parts of New France
>The Eternal Anglos show up and fuck shit up, like always
- continued

>using PBUH
>claiming descent from Muhammad

Yea, nah. Fuck you faggot.

>Paternal ancestor was a Frenchman who was shipped to Australia for forging coins in Guernsey
>Paternal ancestor was also the Lieutenant-General of the NSW colony at one point and fought in the American Revolution
>Maternal ancestors were Sicilian fisherman who came to Australia in the 1930's before the big migration

>Ancestors flee to Michigan to continue their tradition of fur trading
>The Anglos encourage immigration to New World, my other ancestors travel there.
>Nova Scotia was their home for a while, but left quickly to take up work in New England
>Find it's more diverse than a bacteria sample off a public toilet seat
>Lots of intermarrying creates a unique blend
>Michigan branch of ancestors continue fine tradition of marrying cousins and qt 3.14 native girls, have a very narrow lineage
>Bongs decide to abuse colonies a little bit after they refuse to pay taxes
>The Colonies chimp out
>Years of war and devastation yield a need for skilled labor, enter my New England ancestors
>Start crafts business in New York
>Sell to both sides because fuck you loyalty
>Michigan branch continues being Frankonigs
>A century passes and the New England branch becomes unhappy with the crafts business
>Damn Micks and Dagos are crowding the place, leave for growing industry in the Midwest
>Try Chicago but that place had more Polacks than the November Uprising of 1830
>Head to Michigan
>Turns out a family there sold off much their lands for a fortune to developers
>Turns out that family are my French ancestors
>Celt/Anglo ancestors have no idea my French ancestors exist as they work jobs building up Detroit
>French ancestors use huge fortune to purchase vast tracts of farmland in Metro-Detroit
>Some goodie two-shoes argue slavery is wrong, but who cares we live in Michigan
>South gets rowdy
>Knock, knock
>It's South Carolina, let us in
>No
>We're comin in anyway
>The Civil war draws in millions of American men, including some of my Celt and Anglo ancestors
>French ancestors too busy being rich and French to care
>Civil war ends and some of the Celt ancestors stay in the South to work during reconstruction
>Remaining ancestors work, eat, play, die in Michigan well until World War I
>Celt ancestors move back north alongside millions of negros

It actually stands for "Piss be upon him".

>Dad's supposedly a direct descendant of Thierry of Alsace, no title though
>Mom's family were merchants from Brabant, The kind that owned ships, not the kind that rule over goyim, mixed with low Spanish aristocracy