What would your suicide note say?

i'm writing diff. ones for each person that I actually want to say something to...
it's your last chance to make your life have meaning--give it some goddamned thought

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youtube.com/watch?v=iYVO5bUFww0
twitter.com/AnonBabble

Srry Mom, It has nothing to do with you or dad, please tell my sister I love her.

God, i would never trust a .22 to off myself

yeah neither would i... which is why i feel safe owning one even tho i'm often suicidal--i'm more scared of ending up retarded, so I'd never try with a .22. there was this article in which this guy shot himself 14 times with a .22, finally died. it wasn't even a semi-auto, it was like a bolt action or something...

"Later nerds, I'll haunt you in your dreams"
To bad no one would read it

None of this is your fault; there are intrinsic faults in my personality that will cause me to fail, so I might as well end it early and not be a burdern to others.

After being on the internet for some time I've finally come to the conclusion that god is dead and this is obviously hell so Iv decided to take my life you have no one to blame but yourself and in a lesser extent god for doing such a shitty job with the planet you had one job god

Ps forget that I'm afraid of the unknown so no killing my self for me

You could just shoot yourself in the heart

>traps aren't gay
>what doth death
>goodbye cruel world

(to dad)
I'm incredibly angry as I write this, and I'm tempted to stick the knife in pretty hard. I could write something that would leave you with wounds that you would never recover from. I'm going to try and recall the love that used to be a more primary impulse when I thought of you, as a way to temper this. I guess, in my long-winded way, I'm trying to say "consider yourself lucky that I wasn't meaner".
When I first got sick, I was at school, so I didn't experience your reaction, really. It was probably some mild bemusement.
At some points you really tried to be supportive, and one time you even broke down and were emotional while telling me that you just wanted me to feel better. (I may be misremembering this incident, it may have had to do with emotional problems I had rather than sickness--either way you have been capable of great tenderness). Overall, however, your attitude has been that of an anempathic Stoic, or a male doctor who diagnoses his female patients as hysterics for every problem they have.
You bootstrapped or reasoned yourself out of every problem you have ever had, apparently, and you can't possibly imagine how anybody else could have problems that can't be cured by reason or hard work. This is the Protestant fallacy, perhaps.
You look at me with disgust sometimes. Of course you would say it's in reference to some specific action of mine--me "acting entitled" or "being lazy", but the reality is that you hate the gestures and ideas and ideals, that, in their entirety, compose who I am. I have lost sympathy for this awhile ago. i may hate myself, but I refuse to do it on your terms, because I'm not that slavish. I don't so much have "self-esteem" left as dignity--the arrangement of the scraps of oneself in a way that they might be in concordance with principles of tragedy rather than comedy.

My only regret is that I only have a few decades of solitude before you join me in hell.

i'm planning on shooting myself in the heart, anyway, but one could survive that with a .22, i wanna die instantly
.38 snubnose bitchhhh

You could have used fucking birth control, could have had an abortion. But you planned your life around having children. NOw you seem angry that I'm sick, like I'm an appliance that you spent money on and isn't working properly--you yell, red-faced, vein bulgin, at this inert piece of plastic that has failed you, as if it did so on purpose.
This may be a clumsy simile, but it's not a frivolous one--you're a vulgar materialist, without really knowing what that means.
All of your children are investments to you; I'm the first one that didn't pay off. Whenever you are angry, you take time to remind us that you work for us, that you are the primary breadwinner, while we are essentially parasites. You bellow this more than once a week, like some primal ritual to let us know who we are in debt to eternally. S__ and I remind you that we don't ask for your sacrifice, that we'd rather have you happy + home more often than have you paying for our college... But you don't listen, so I think you actually desire this, or your pride won't let you do anything but be an angry, stressed-out worker.
I believe you see things in primitive class-resentment--you as the productive and simple masculine worker, us as the womanish, leisurely and impoverished aristocrats leeching off you while posturing and playing bourgeois, libertine intellectual games.
I suppose this reflects your heritage to some extent--your Teutonic Protestant hardiness pitted against our Jewish parasitism
I’ve gone as far as I can with this bitchiness. I really want nothing more than to leave you with a document that could humble you. I think you’re wrong about so much, and I mean at a very basic level of yr thought. You’re materialist in the wrong ways, and idealist in the wrong ways. (Almost anybody who is an atheist but not a Marxist is going to have this problem). You think reason is the most important principle in life, or at least act like it when you cudgel people with it, esp. People that won’t fight back, like mom. Yet you have unreasonable a priori beliefs--like your belief in reason, or your refusal to allow your authority to be questioned...

Absolute pseud. This is a child trying to justify his actions with regurgitated dribblings of philosophy. You're an idiot, and you need to realize that and work at being a little better each day; if not to become a better person, then at least to create a suicide note that wasn't ghostwritten by a fucking eighth grader.

> be mitch heisman
> write 1905 page suicide not
> literally noone has read it

It would talk about childhood events and how they led to my depression. Probably a bit on my loneliness and my acceptance that it was self-perpetuating, but I was never really willing to break out of it because I slightly enjoy solitude. Finally, I'd reassure my parents that they are not to blame for any of it. I'd also keep from offing myself in a messy way so I'm not too much of a hassle for the paramedics or whatever.

Same

desu i've written some pretty good things, but this isn't one of them...
idk what was even come over me

my brain has been getting worse and worse and my writing going with it. I have written some really good fiction and poetry in the past tho

haha jokes on me i'm getting a little worse every day

you are right tho i can't have such a pseud suicide note be my final one, i'm gonna work on this

"Now that the dust has settled, who was in the wrong here? What did I mean by this? What was my fucking problem? Was it autism? Who will play me in the inevitable biopic?"

actually this raises a good point.
your suicide note is a part of your life's narrative that is treated with a lot of weight , even relative to other things you've written. You can decide whether your life is a tragedy or comedy with framing

Get off of the internet. It isn't brain problems, it's easily digestable idiocy and filth-on-demand churning your mind into worthless mush. Try not getting on a computer for two weeks, and if you stay in, read instead. You'll feel a lot better.

>All of your children are investments to you

ungh, the worst

My suicide note? This single YouTube link written on paper:

youtube.com/watch?v=iYVO5bUFww0

This is not all your fault, but I'm not going to let you totally off the hook. You treated me like a parasite, or an investment gone wrong.
I don't know what your deal is. When you have kids, you don't know how they're gonna turn out, and you're supposed to be in it for the long haul, sickness and health, etc... You could've used birth control or something instead.
Be better to mom. Don't beat yourself up too much. I still love you even though I'm mad at you right now. I need to go before I change my mind.

i mean i'm actually sick and it actually makes my brain worse. i don't really spend a lot of time online tho

>mfw .38 spl is more expensive and weaker than a 9mm from a $150 C9.

i am trying to read some molecular bio stuff so i can think of a cure for my condition, but my background is in the humanities so it's not working out too well ...

i do read, should read more,
I read moby dick the other week. was pretty good.
tryna read "tender is the night"
Just finished genealogy of morals

weaker? isn't .38 a larger caliber than 9 mm? either way, i wouldn't mind the expense if i was gonna die
i just chose .38 b/c those guns are stylish, and there's one at my local general store...
it's an impulse buy

(this is my revision)

Bullet diameter: 357 in (9.1 mm)

.38 SPL is an old cartridge, it is loaded to chamber pressures of about 13-15,000 PSI. Even +P rounds only go up to 20,000 PSI. The revolver frame design just isn't suited to higher pressures. Bog standard 9mm maximum pressure is around 39,000 PSI.

I understand about revolvers though. I'm saving for pic related.

that looks like a single action? right?
i'm not a huge gun person but i preferred double action to single action

yeh, single action Ruger Vaquero. it's Colt SAA look-alike, but the internals are more reliable.

That is a pretty personal question.
I would right it the day of but these are some points I would hit

>my uselessness and homelessness
>calling out my mother for coddling me and being a general bad single mother.
>calling out my step mom for being a hitch
>thanking my step siblings and brothers for being kind to me
>calling out my brother for molesting me
>telling them to forget me and don't norm over me, or tell my infant nephew about me
>admitting to being a pedo

awww damn dude that sucks
...
are you really a pedo? that's always been my worst fear (i have ocd where i worry about shit like that)

i've heard people that get molested can have fucked up sexuality, but it seems less permanent than actually being born a pedo? maybe u can work thru it with therapy? are u attracted to adults?

You sound like his dad desu.

"don't believe them" written with a half empty sharpy on the back of a receipt shoved into my sock.

gotta leave em guessing.

I remember drafting a 19 page one, with parting words to pretty much everyone I had something to say to. Eventually trashed it, because at the time I realised if I had that much to say, I probably had some vested interests in life.

Current one is "Jake- take care of the dog". Works as a nice will too.

>I'm 599 years old, it's time to kill myself now that the ageless medicine as seen in the Epic of Gilgamesh has worn off

"Tell the Coroner I love him."

>Aww yeah, finally we got to this! Goodbye and thanks for all the fun. It's not your fault. I'll haunt your dumb asses if you mourn for too long, your life is too valuable to waste on that. As my nigga Seuss said: “Don't cry because it's over, smile because it happened.”

Though I doubt I'd manage to keep it as brief, would've probably write a long ass recollection of the good stuff, apologise for my mistakes, and be an obnoxious faggot telling people to follow their dreams, and shit like that.

You have to be over 18 to post here

I've been swimming between the shores of sadness and emptiness for so long. I'm tired. I'd rather drown myself than wait for the inevitable.

Thank you for your friendship, love and company. Don't blame yourselves.

S, don't publish me posthumously.
A, forget me as quick as you can. I'm sorry and I can't thank you enough.


with love,

user

I hope you can forgive me, all I wanted is to just left alone

I honestly don't know why I'm doing this. Maybe I'm not, but something in me is. I wish I could beat it, but I can't. I'm sorry, I give up. I love you.

Yeah I am. I am too ugly and socially inept to have a relationahip with an adult. 5'3" 4.5" penis. Possible sperg