Poetry Thread

Didn't say anything about the idea, just that the rhythm is a little wonky

>I'm a walk inside a mosque on Ramadan,
>And say a prayer that every time Melania talks,
>She gets a mou- ah, I'm a stop
What was he going to say here?

Genuinely awful

curious too, no fitting English word that starts with "mou" come to mind.

mouthful of cocks

ah, that makes way more sense than what I was thinking, thanks

this

is more like
A
Pottery
thread

Whitey, whitey, whatchu doin
Why yo appropriate ma sheit
Whitey, whitey we wuz rulin
An yo lived in som caveman pit

better than anything youve written bro

I genuinly don't know what makes free verse technically great, so here it goes for criticism. I can pin down the style of free verse authors in my mothertongue but I don't know what I'm looking for in my own. It's either too flat or incomprehensible and the alliterations and rhymes I'd use to keep in touch with poetry's musicality feel too cheap to use in the latter case.

They blow even the ashes
And they look through all the
Closets. Come with me and
Hide among the rocks so
We're washed clean by the
Tame sun and the dry shadows
Of old trees.

Don't you see? Here falls
All we expect and others
Are long buried under blunt,
Heavy weights. Let's run,
When the last spots of the
Moon have ran off we return,
And you will remain like me:
A mound of ashes, awake.