Worst ending lines in literature?

Sorry

What was the reason for posting it?

Is this real? Ive nevwr read Calvino btw

>And that's the end of our once brilliant protagonist. What used to be an upcoming great figure of literature for the years to come, reduced to a shaking, trembling and deranged stain on the corner od the room. He had become, alas, a Stoner.

>And as I awoke from my cryopod on board our star-cruiser I turned to the precision chronometer. Sure enough we had been asleep as long as the AI said. My eyes were not yet accustomed to the light but I could easily make out the bright red LEDs displaying the time and date: 12:00, Jan 1, 2666.

Cant believe its real

LURK MORE

What do you even mean?

Roll

>and that was it, the contest was over, it was a fact that i was the longest one of all. Truly, there was no longer human

>And the Devil, whore of Babylon, stood defeated at the end, and in shock and incomprehension could only exclaim, 'Holy Bible!'

>The auctioneer cleared his throat. Oedipa settled back, to await the crying of lot 49.

Ok, that's getting ridiculous.

>after much shitposting, Gwyon's 'name my band' thread on /b/ had finally paid dividends; truly, they would call themselves The Recognitions

>And as Jim turned the key in his car's ignition, he suddenly came to realize that it all had been nothing more than a bunch of Intermediate German Grammar, Third Edition

From some recent Nobel winner:

>How does it feel? Ah, how does it feel to be on your own with no direction home? Like a complete unknown? Like a rolling stone?

>"what is that?" the little tyke cried. "Why," the old Jew replied, "that is the bastion of our culture and intellectual achievements; the weapon that ensures our safety from all discernible foes; the thing that stands between us and the talentless hordes beyond! That, my boy, is the Western Cannon!"

And with that, as i tasted the sheer fragrance of memories to come, I realized in an instant that really was an eternity of clerical cul-de-sac that I had been In Search Of Lost Time all along.

What exactly are you trying to do by "self-bumping" a thread you didn't create? You are indeed shameless.

>So to make a long story short we all just went through a bunch of War and Peace

>He stared out from behind the bars. He saw now that what he had committed was a crime, and this would be his punishment.

I bumped my thread and I already apologized for doing it too soon

>So that was the end of the geezer,
>I hope this has been a crowd-pleaser,
>I think I did well
>as I strove here to tell
>The Tragedy of Julius Caesar

This isn't your thread. Seriously, what the fuck do you intend to accomplish? Other than showing that you are a liar.

This is an anonymous board and It is pointless to claim autorship, but I did create the thread as hard to believe as it may be.

No, you did not. What do you hope to gain by lying? All you're proving is that you have literally no conscience.

did that autist actually reference the title on the book?

>Is this real? Ive nevwr read Calvino btw
Yes it's real, it's like 8 stories within a frame story.
Really good but Invisible Cities is clearly his best IMO.

This is going to blow your mind, but the phrase "infinite jest" is originally from Shakespeare.

I won't waste my time arguing with you as this isn't the purpose of my thread, but you may believe whatever you want if that makes you feel special or creative. Just to let you know, this isn't the first good thread I create and although I admitted bumping it once, the other posts were voluntary.

You haven't attempted to "argue" anything. All you've done is evade the question: What do you intend to gain from lying? Because you did not create this thread.

I was actually lying -sorry- Ive read Our Ancestors, are the stories of Invisible cities and if on a winter... similar to the three novellas of ancestors? I admit I disliked all but the nonexistant knight

>And Sam sat down at the table, and Rosie tied the bib around his neck, and set down his potatoes, and he said, "Well, wasn't that just a Lord of the Rings"

Ok, this is becoming truly distutbing...I won't engage with you anymore and I truly hope you do the same for our best. It has never been my intention to offend David Foster Wallace - I assume you are angry because of the line I have chosen - I actually think he is an ok author, though I don't consider Infinite Jest his best...
Anyway, I no longer want discuss anything regarding this thread, let's just keep posting last lines and talking about them.

Holy shit, how long have you been on Veeky Forums?

There is a lot of intertextuality between the two authors

For 2 months now, I only brwse lit and an, why?

I don't need for you to admit to your lies, despicable as they are. Even though you have no sense of shame, the nature of the world will ensure that you receive karmic punishment for your misdeeds. My goal is merely to understand the mind of a liar such as yourself. However, it appears you are too self-absorbed to even offer that. Thus, I wish you the worst in life and revel in the knowledge of your future suffering.

Fine, if that's the path you wan't to pursue... Again, I have no recollection of offending or initiating some sort of hostility toward you. This reached a point that I truly wasn't expecting and certainly was not ready. It's not my intention to cause harm to anybody here but to discuss literature with like minded people and that's all, I don't even want improve my writing as I don't write fiction.Therefore, I ask you to reconsider your thoughts towards me, there's no point in being angry against me or anybody for that matter.

> Phoebe couldn't believe but her own dear brother had finally become the Catcher in the Rye

kek

Roll

Lady Bracknell: My nephew, you seem to be displaying signs of triviality.

Jack: On the contrary, Aunt Augusta, I’ve now realised for the first time in my life the vital Importance of Being Earnest.

God, what a fucking hack.

And what I have to say, little Pip, is that you have Great Expectations!

Ha

underrated

>less than 5 minutes old
>underrated

I've read the first two stories of Our Ancestors, they're okay but I didn't like them very much either. I couldn't really get into Marcovaldo or Cosmicomics either.
Invisible Cities and If on a Winter's Night are great though IMO, especially Invisible Cities is very poetic. Path to the Nest of Spiders is nice as well.

Thanks for the response, I will certainly look for those works

Won't claim credit for this, but I saw it in a previous thread and it had me dying.

"That was amazing! What do you all call yourselves?"

"The Brothers Karamazov!"

>Virgil my loving father figure,
>as I look at thine omnipotency
>I'm ready to climb that mountain with vigor

>Dante that mountain is not for the common see,
>you will climb only if ready,
>to truly laugh at life's Divine Comedy

Better than Pinecone tbqh

>Sonechka
Ouch. Are all translations as lame?

That's fine.

Kek.

>And when, after being adrift for six days, the world turned upside down, landing on the moon, he was truly the sailor who fell with grace from the sea.

what a hack.

>Sonechka
>Ouch. Are all translations as lame?
It's Coнeчкa. What are you talking about

The E doesn't work. Though guess Sonjechka would read even worse or Sonichka quite off too.

>William in a dying breath finally finally found his senses, his life had been truly that of a Stoner.
I'm never reading John Williams again.

>The rain ceased. The wind fell. I was now All Quiet on the Western Front.

Ah, that explains it. You just seem to be misunderstanding a heck of a lot of the slang, memes and inside jokes of this place. But it's okay, it's a bad place anyways.

The E is perfectly fine. An accented E is very often transliterated simply as e (instead of something like ye). You're not complaining about how Chekhov is rendered, for example

A) No
B) Fake quotes are a test to see if you'll read or reject the guy's book based on the fake quote alone

First ever shitpost?

>And suddenly he understood the terryfying ambiguity of the fact that the product he was selling already,in a way, belonged to the customers - the Dead Souls were inside them all along.
>And as his consciousness was fading, all the pretty particles of it, in the upcoming nothingness he saw that the journey was reaching its station; he travelled, as if his life was a book, from Moscow to the End of The line.

Russians are such hacks. The second, at least, you can blame on translator.

Great Gatsby

John Stalvern waited. The lights above him blinked and sparked out of the air. There were demons in the base. He didn't see them, but had expected them now for years. His warnings to Cernel Joson were not listenend to and now it was too late. Far too late for now, anyway.
John was a space marine for fourteen years. When he was young he watched the spaceships and he said to dad "I want to be on the ships daddy."
Dad said "No! You will BE KILL BY DEMONS"
There was a time when he believed him. Then as he got oldered he stopped. But now in the space station base of the UAC he knew there were demons.
"This is Joson" the radio crackered. "You must fight the demons!"
So John gotted his palsma rifle and blew up the wall.
"HE GOING TO KILL US" said the demons
"I will shoot at him" said the cyberdemon and he fired the rocket missiles. John plasmaed at him and tried to blew him up. But then the ceiling fell and they were trapped and not able to kill.
"No! I must kill the demons" he shouted
The radio said "No, John. You are the demons"
And then John was a zombie.

>Yes well it's been a very interesting day as I lay here in bed on the evening of Bloomsday and that's so interesting that they call today that and wow hey that's my name too isn't that something and yes and yes I certainly was a clever lady today I had Blazes over and right here in my marriage bed and but yes I am still a good wife and I'm going to tell myself that and say I still love my husband so and yes I deserve to do it somehow and oh that's right it's been ten years since my child died or however long it's been yes that's it that's why I deserve to do whatever I want and yes a bunch more times and yes I am still a good wife and yes I said yes I will yes

>And thus the kid turned to speak
>"I realize now, that I am living in a Brave New world, by all this hustle-y.

Dropped the book right then and there.

"And then I woke up. It was a dream the whole time. Truly, I was Alice in Wonderland."

Women are subhuman.

>The thing Alaska did next scared and shocked and surprised me in a way nothing had ever ever scared or shocked or surprised me until that moment, a moment which lasted no longer than one sharp intake of breath but one I have no doubt will last my entire life. She said 'I love you'. Not 'You're cool' or 'I had a really fun time' or 'Do you always kiss like that?' I love you. As in 'I, Alaska Young, love you, Miles Halter'. As in 'I Alaska Young have not only noticed that you Miles Halter exist but I positively adore the fact that you do'. I exhaled. Alaska did too and for the first time I realized she was as scared as I was of admitting the way she felt. I stepped forward and held her hips. 'Are you sure?' I asked. 'I think so!' she replied, smiling. I must have pushed her backwards because just then her body nudged the lightswitch and the room became as dark as my life was without Alaska in it. Laughing, she slipped out of my grasp and disappeared somewhere inside the room. I reached out like a blind man searching for the object that might grant him sight. Truly, I was Looking for Alaska.

>-and then they realized that they were no longer little girls. They were little women.
I was super disappointed when I found out that's not how it actually ends.

>On the contrary, Aunt Augusta, Ive now realised for the first time in my life the vital Importance of Being Earnest.

>It was then that I knew I had finally became Walden.

>Whats the year? cried Winston, calling downward to a boy in Sunday clothes, who perhaps had loitered in to look about him.
>Eh? returned the boy, with all his might of wonder.
>Whats the year, my fine fellow? said Winston.
>The year! replied the boy. Why, it's 1984"

>samefagging this hard

Pynch fucking knew about this the absolute madman

how much of this is real
the beginning stinks of john green but the ending just seems to be a Veeky Forums shitpost

>... you must go on, I can't go on, I'll go on.

>What was the reason for posting it?
Boundless buffoonery.

And that was part of The Life and Strange Surprizing Adventures of Robinson Crusoe, Of York, Mariner: Who lived Eight and Twenty Years, all alone in an un-inhabited Island on the Coast of America, near the Mouth of the Great River of Oroonoque; Having been cast on Shore by Shipwreck, wherein all the Men perished but himself. With An Account how he was at last as strangely deliver'd by Pyrates.

>last sentence name drops the title

The End

Wow what a fucking hack ghostwriter

I'd read it.
Jesus, get a room you guy.

>"Meursault looked up at the large blade. The glare of the sun, reflected off the bright metal, caused a sharp pain in his eyes; he turned his face to the crowd. In that moment, those faces - some near, some distant - became his entire world. To them, however, the condemned man was nothing more than... 'l'etrangent'."

Deep.

Romeo: Songbird, why let your flying figure dart
In my chest, a broken lonesome urchin
Takes hold if you choose to truly depart.

Aside: pain of pains, to be not one flesh, but part
Bereft of the sense of godly merging
horror of horrors, to die a virgin!

Finding myself in the cold dark lurching
The lengths I'll take to join in song our hearts
Make blackamoors pale (as to them do tarts)
Being longer than noses of merchants

Juliet: Your seeking heart comes, for the first time, late

Aside: surely, now seeking me only to fellate!
A deathbed will not give the full mood of life
Will not permit the once-barred invader
Yet here, in yearning loins, this thought seems rife
As if grasping death, finding purchase with hate
Could of a Mary, a Jezebel made her!

My heart seeks now the pure coldness of the void
Growing dark, of any love I become devoid
Our union burgeoning, yet killed so quickly
Would have joined our two fair houses so sickly.
Even to rejoice in love, I am unable.
To greater depths of darkness, I am now buoyed
From my view, the colour leeched, to a dead fable
I find in the end all my missed beginnings
Yet rise as a dove, unburdened of my sinning
I leave as a rose in a river of souls
Into Hades' open maw we trickle thickly.
But know this rose, only ever rose
With you.

Romeo: Stay the slowing of your heart, for mine beats still
But the stillness of your eyes suggests no ill
No ill now, no ill ever, only silence
From now to the end, your beauty will ever last
The purity inside will be unsullied.
This roaring absence brings me to violence
And upon whom can this deadly wrath be cast?
Who but I, a man so woefully cullied
As we were, we will always and ever be
For those who have hearts to feel and eyes to see
A love beyond the grasp of the (((universe)))
Romeo
And Juliet

No, I actually make that same post every time I see one of these threads.

alas, the mermaids gathered together in the briny depths of the sea, and wistfully sang the love song of j alfred prufrock.

>And this, my dear reader, was the story of Raskolnikov's Crime and Punishment.

>l'etrangER
you fucked up

>L'Étranger
you fucked up