Poetry Critique

I'm a shitty poet. Pls Help

Other urls found in this thread:

4chanlit.wikia.com/wiki/Poetry
twitter.com/NSFWRedditVideo

My feelings reach towards spring
New life, Green life, Red and Pink life
Where you, so strong and statue-like
Lording over my fresh green
Are but a goal in a fool's reality

Or so it seems

It seems as if you are the rock
Immovable, and wise
From years of hot metamorphosis
And cool sedimentation
And me like water
Turning, Twisting, and Loving
But letting the fruit of life slip from under me
And nothing of beauty willingly hold's water

My feelings, they reach towards spring
New life, Green, Red life, Pink life
Where you so strong and statue-like
Lording my fresh green over
But a goal in a fool's reality
Or so seems it
If you are the rock
Immovable, and wise
Of years of hot metamorphosis
Of cool sedimentation
And me like water
Turning, Twisting, Loving
But letting the vital fruit slip from under me
Nothing of beauty willingly hold's water

>doesn't even rhyme
What's the fucking point?

● don't capitalize each line
● don't start anything ever with "my feelings"
● your metaphors are weak. Stretch your self.
● nail the ending. It's important
● "And nothing of beauty holds willing water"

I like it

what kind of poetry did you want to write

Yea my metaphors are kinda weak sauce, I guess I'm scared of being pretentious and esoteric.

I like free verse a lot

there's a lot of forms of poetry and many different schools—it's hard to decide what you want to do without anything to go on.

Esoteric isn't connoted to anything bad. Edgar Allan Poe is esoteric, Anne Sexton is a little esoteric.