Write what's on your mind

Write what's on your mind.

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that that that that dont kill me can only make me stronger

Pussy in a sarcophagus

post a thumbnail I'd want to see for the next several hours and I might.

Kanye "Obama ain't got not Jewish oil money" West

Being a woman is hell. I'm a man in a woman's body and the world has no way of dealing with it. Men are annoyed or confused by the fact that I don't want to be their slave. Women are all willing slaves and impossible to date.

Being a woman is only bearable if you're unconscious cattle. As soon as you individuate and become a human, there's no place for you in the world.

STROPB ROWING SA AND ACTUALLY r e a d R E A --- D ! ! (books)

How old are you?

you are literally me.

>tfw virgin
Feels gud lad. Only have 11 years before wizard status

I'm supposed to write a research essay on anything I want and I can't find topic. Was thinking of just sperging out and doing some Nick Land topic with similar obtuse prose

>not wanting a willing slave
Your loss

Just mustered courage to ask a girl out, it was cringy as fuck and she will certainly block me but I can't die without never having a gf or never taking risks.

You stop caring after a while. The key thing now is not to overthink it. Just let the cringe happen, accept that the worst might happen, and laugh anyway.

Think of it like being a paratrooper. The way to be a good paratrooper isn't manning up and agonizing over one jump. It's jumping 50 times.

Fuck she just messaged back, I'm going full spaghetti.

Spill the beans, user.

She's laughing at me, how tragic.

I put on a facade of cheer and happiness when really I’m fucking depressed
Therapist wasn’t any help so I’m just wait for an act of god to take me out

Great name for a gun though

Laugh back. Tell her it was a joke, you knew she was a lesbian.

user.. easy on the lesbianism

Wew, it turns out she was laughing because she thinks she's too ugly to be asked out.

I'm so tired of dealing with the shitty people in this town that I'm ready to go into isolation until I'm 40 and people may suck less.

Herzog and Adidas man you know they love me
If Nike ain't have Drizzy man they would have nothin, woo!

Goddamn plot twist of the century right here.

Fuck, she accepted. It's happening lads.

ive written up and erased a post for this thread three times now
im too afraid of even the slightest critique against my presonality/character and the only way i know of dealing with it is alcohol and pretending to be someone im not at all times
i often catch myself thinking of something i said and then wondering what some of my more confident friends would have said instead
i'm void of any social traits and steal my behavious from others, no external originality at all
like a joint nightmare of dostoevsky and hesse
i wont go over this post again i'll just make it worse on myself

I have ideas, too many ideas to count. All these ideas float in the vacant room inside my head. Like scattered papers the ideas will touch the ground and then be carried off by the wind again. An endless cycle of thinking and forgetting and remembering and scrapping. And when the ideas anchor down in my head, I feel the need to act, but my body stays grounded. Is it fear of bearing my ideas out unto the world? Or is it that I've become too lazy and complacent to utilize my creatitivity? Whatever it is, it has blocked my road for too long. And I have cemented an order onto my heart. A message to imprint into my soul for all eternity. With a fire in my eyes, and a pep in my step, I will start writing today. And if I break my own pact, may the Lord prepare a punishment beyond comprehension. For lying to myself is a sin I would never forgive.

YEEZY YEEZY YEEZY

Right what's on your mind.
Wright, what's on your mind?
Rite: what's on your mind.
"Wright, what's on?" "Your mind."
"Right, what's on?" "Your mind."
...right? What's on your mind?

>As soon as you individuate and become a human, there's no place for you in the world.
This is the case for anyone. If it wasn't, anyone wouldn't be individual.

>Smoke marijuana because I am degenerate
>Get a really great idea for a novel/essay/whatever
>Go to the computer to write it down before I forget
>End up being distracted by Youtube and music and Veeky Forums
>EVERY.
>SINGLE.
>FUCKING.
>TIME.
I'm beyond feeling shame or anger. I've just accepted that this is a natural occurrence that happens, the same way some people get the munchies when they're high. I also try to justify it by telling myself my ideas are probably shit anyways.

Does the Indo-Tibetan scholanon (from the last Buddhist thread) lurk this thread?
youtube.com/watch?v=qUmU-AL2GMI
What's that ritual at 15:00 about? Is it Bon or Buddhist?

kanye west is so self-absorbed that he feels indignation towards himself, because of his own antics

example; talking abut bleached assholes over a remixed gospel hymn and referencing god and chaining profanities in one breath

I'm getting sick of him not replying. it frustrating. My mind starts to wander and create spooks. I am pathetic, I am weak. Maybe I don't deserve to love. either way It hurts.

They won't, you'll just get better at accepting this.

Where is there a place for those that escape? Will it always be lonely?

Also, move.

Because you aren't communicating the importance of him replying to you because you're too insecure to be vulnerable about it.

Fucking teens.

I keep it 300, like the Dorians

No, there's no place you can arrive at where there are no problems. And there's no person that could give you refuge or comfort at all times. But it's expected of you to have these desires. Still, it's not something you should hinge on. So what can you do? When everything will fall apart, what is there to be done? You can't do nothing, because that's impossible anyway. And when you yourself are falling apart, how are you going to fix the world? But, if you think back, how was it that there was "you" and "the world"? If you think about it, all you have is your experience and even if you get surprised, it's still your experience. You might think so much you go blind and deaf to what's outside your body, but that doesn't make your body not be on at all times. So then you might say you're at the mercy of your body, or you're entrapped or some such.

People cling to what is good, or, to be more in line with our times, what is "successful". Only when you resolve a problem you allow yourself to be yourself. The drunk, the procastrinator, the masturbator, the anger, the envy, the gluttony, the greed, all of those couldn't be you, right? There's no way. And yet all the successful things are born out of the much larger realm of failure. I've thrown myself to the filth looking for a diamond, but since I wouldn't dirty my hands I never found anything--but that's simply a metaphor, I'd be more clear saying me solving the problem was the problem.

Humans are weird in that at their core they don't want to improve, and yet they don't care for their own benefit. This is because most people can't even fathom some of the problems this world faces, and yet because they don't try their hands at it, it's much less of a mess.

So maybe the place you're looking for is very close, or maybe it's far away. If you want to go there, go. If you want to talk to somebody, just talk to whoever you find. Or perhaps you can't do any of these things. But don't rattle yourself about it. It won't do anything other than rattle yourself. If you're alone, let yourself be alone.

Oh, your two desires are kind of contradictory.

FUck you nigger bitch its an anonymous image board. How the fuck do you expect to make tracks in any form in life without at least throwing a piece of yourself out there. Just look at your fuck ups as practice and keep on fucking up. One day you will stop fucking up as much but for H.Christ's sake keep trying.

Even though I know I would never have been able to do what I wanted with my life anyway, knowing the best I can look forward to in my life is quietly collecting NEETbux, reading, and playing video games is kind of miserable.

I'm in the same boat. Do NOT stop fighting, and don't try to fight it in the same stupid ways either. Outsmart these behaviors.

Also, weed will slowly destroy your body and mind.

Perhaps those desires can be, but I don't believe that need to be. I may be naive, but the that doesn't mean that I can't choose freedom and good, and all aspects of the world. It may tear me apart, but I refuse to believe that it is impossible to embrace all of that.

I've eaten lunch with a girl three times and overall sat with her for over seven hours without asking for her number. I think there was even a point where she was scrolling her contacts list in front of me, but I didn't make the connection until a day later.

She is also more intelligent than me, which is not something I'm used to. She makes connections that throw me off. I was worried I'd find it intimidating but if anything it's endearing and adding to the intrigue, like static on a balloon.

I don't know how many more opportunities I'll have. I am likely to see her on Thursday. I am trying very hard.

I don't want to do anything. All my life I tried to force myself to do all sorts of shit, but the truth is that I really don't want to. I'm not depressed. I'm not sad. I just really don't care and I never have. I'm not exactly sure where to go from here. Maybe I should just off myself because I hate effort so much.

don't say no

I hate myself, and don't believe I'm capable of succeeding at anything, so I never really try. I just feel shitty for not accomplishing anything, but don't know what to do or how to get out of this hole of shame and self-loathing.

I had that this year with a girl and it ended up being nothing. Hope but also brace for disappointment.

>I am trying very hard.

If you wait for the perfect moment, the perfect moment will never come

If it's going to happen, then it will happen despite imperfect conditions

Go for it you motherfucker

I want to study the brain and the mind and the soul. I don't know whether to study Psychiatry or (clinical) Psychology, in that matter.

I cannot align myself with a perspective that considers all biochemical, yet by not choosing it I feel like I'm ignoring some major truth. I still feel like Psychology fits better with my artistic and scientific aspirations though, as if it were more versatile.

But I'm not sure of anything.

I'm lost in confusion cause my things are material

Posts like this are what keep me coming back to Veeky Forums

Studying both neuroscientific and philosophic understandings of the mind allows you to balance between soulless determinism and useless idealism.

Feeling must not be forgotten, or else the world becomes bare and worthless, but evidence cannot be forgotten either, or else you will never actualize your mind in the world around you.

Ideas without action are dead.

You have no idea how much I appreciate these words. I could have not said it better myself.

Thank you

This is blocked it my country, but perhaps it isn't in yours?
youtube.com/watch?v=Z2cbvHdrYOg

Adding, maybe it's pure heart at talk, or naïvety, but I feel that the second options permits me better to branch out to Philosophy, Neuroscience, Arts, without restricting myself to a scientific and methodical understanding of the world

I've decided to become a "security guard" (night porter) and pursue my dream of getting paid 12 dollars an hour to read

Don't forget about anti-psychiatry

there're two sites that worth visiting in my entire experience on the internet: Veeky Forums and scribophile.org. Gonna take my time to dwell here for a while. I'm too lazy and don't wanna get anymore frustration from keeping exploring.

hey, at least your not black bud

How did I go from not talking to anyone for 2 years to craving attention so much that my whole week can be ruined by a girl saying she can't go out for lunch today. How can I go back to functioning normally in society, I already pushed all my old friends away and now I'm desperate for attention.

anyone who writes their problems on this site unironically is a fag lol

If I don't make any sense, please ask me to clarify what was misunderstood.
How does action come about? What are its causes and conditions? How does every kind of action (body, speech, mind, consciousness) interact with each other? Are there any other kind of actions? Is there a hierarchy? Can they influence each other and change? How do I change myself (mainly my instincts) to be more like my goals? It's not about what's reasonable and what's not reasonable; I became skeptic of reason a lot of time ago [what now seems a lot of time].
Today a woman fell in front of me while boarding the train; the city's subway is a jungle, I tell you. I think she had some kind of degenerative disease. Her body was disproportionate and small, her high heels seemed too big on her and she was wearing sunglasses.
She fell twice in a row. First with the initial punch of the mob trying to get into the train and then while trying to stand up. Why didn't I rush to help her? She was 2 steps away and I wasn't in a rush at all. Of course the people immediately next to her helped, but why didn't I?
I kept my distance from the mob and went deep into my thoughts. I knew I felt compassion for her, I was the same as her.
She got down in the same station than me. She was limping in a really painful way. I directed my thoughts, honestly and humbly, to her pain and wished for her well-being.
I wasn't regretful that I didn't help her (I try not to keep regrets, to not cling to the past), I was just surprised by my inability to act (in bodily form and in speech). I felt compassion but didn't do anything about it.
Is it a gradual training? It's been a while like this, not being able to act; I'm losing hope (effort is hard for me to build).

There is humming in my ears. It becomes louder during periods of rest. It's like sitting at the bank of the stream up the canyon, it's a wonder why it doesn't bother me. It's rather peaceful.

When I was a child my hearing was perfect, I was able to hear the blood rush from each heart beat with my ear resting on a pillow. I remember that noise keeping me up.

But it is my age I guess. The humming is damage to my body, mostly from using a rifle without ear protection. My age finds comfort even in the familiar stresses. Even the rising pain of my sad heart when it thinks of her, it blooms with a spiraling helix of pain and joy connected with dusty images of true connection. I couldn't then, but now, in this leathered corpse I can honestly say - "I can see you love."

Trump could dispose of Hillary and Bernie easily but wouldn't know how to run against Kanye.

What is action?

Landlord wants to check condition of my apartment. There's nothing bad going on but a lot of random broken stuff. I don't know why I'm stressing about it. He shouldn't freak out and it's probably a matter of like $200 from deposit when I finally move out. Still it's annoying to have a stranger with power over me peeking at my miserable existence.

I don't know why I'm even here. I don't like to read. The book I'm trying to read now completely bores me. I'm just doing it so I might just become a little less ignorant.

Congrats :)

> place for those that escape
> those who escape enter the place
> will it be lonely?
lmao

I handle the pressure of the world by pushing away the people who want to be closer to me.

This week I ignored a girl I'd been fucking because I couldn't deal with the rest of the shit in my life.

No response from her anymore. So long whore.

Fuck dude.
Are you me?

I blocked a girl on FB who I had been seeing casually and messaged her saying I couldn't be friends.

Started out fucking, become friends, she didn't want anything "serious," I can't be physical with someone without developing feelings, so I told her I just wanted to be friends.

After that she seemed like she was less "real" with me, not sure if I was just paranoid or not but something at the back of my mind told me she didn't really want to hang out or talk anymore since I didn't want to be physical.

Shit was stressing me out everyday, would check her facebook constantly trying to read between the lines.

So I decided the only outcome was either A) me growing more attached to her and eventually losing her as a friend (even though I at heart wished for more then that, just not friends with benefits).
Or B) Cutting her and I off, and secluding myself from the world further.

I went with the latter.

I've been much much much less stressed as a result, but nearly everynight I can't help but question if I made the best choice.

And even if there was never anything serious between her and I, small little things remind me of her.


Fuck relationships holmes.

Dragged away from my future, looking back on what never was, can never go back, can never have it, future looks bright, but lost potential and wasted years will always taint any future happiness. It will never be as good as it could have been. The best years, the most important years, the formative years are gone, and I will always be alone. The window is gone and I will never be who I could have been.

Sorry to hear that bro.
Personally, the biggest mistake I made with women was sticking through a really shit relationship with a girl because I was afraid of being alone. Maybe I fell in love, maybe not. Love's vague.
But after ending it I came out the other side feeling free as a bird.
We're strong enough to be alone.

The reason I ignored this girl was because I had a lot of work and I was stressed out about family shit. Just didn't want to deal with a girl during those times. She's there for sex, the girls will always be there for the good times, but they're fickle when life hits you in the dick. My homies will be there when the hard times hit.
Protip: Best way to deal with these scenarios is to not say shit then whenever you feel like talking to them make up an excuse. Better to say my phone broke, or I had to visit somebody in the hospital then telling them something like "we shouldn't see each other this weekend"

Yeah, I realize that my question was contradictory. I don't want to be alone, but more than that I want to know.

Everyone steals behavior traits from others. It's how we learn how to interact with other people. For some of us it just takes longer, and for some we just possess an odd ability to shed our social skin and become completely new people when we encounter different circles. Maybe we're just trying to find ourselves. Not sure.

Find ourselves and find the kind of people we need to be around. For me, imitating the people around me was just something I did to get through periods of my life without having a breakdown (which happened anyway in a few cases).

>but a lot of random broken stuff
what and how?

>Protip: Best way to deal with these scenarios is to not say shit then whenever you feel like talking to them make up an excuse. Better to say my phone broke, or I had to visit somebody in the hospital then telling them something like "we shouldn't see each other this weekend"
....no...not likely

>Protip: Best way to deal with these scenarios is to

Tell the truth:
>The reason I ignored this girl was because I had a lot of work and I was stressed out about family shit.

So there is a chance you will talk again, and things are still ok between yall, but shes just paying you back for not answering her and you are being over dramatic with your post, but if not, and even still, you could have just said the truth

Blinds torn and paintwork on floor messed up from drunken rummaging.

I'm really happy that your emotional risk paid off, user. Honestly. Good on ya! :)

There is no difference between the Christian God and the Atheist Cosmos.

try psychedelics, one i was able to experience a transcendent moment, life became much more bearable and interesting.

>ive written up and erased a post for this thread three times now
>i'm void of any social traits and steal my behavious from others, no external originality at all

it's a hard life and i don't know what i did to deserve it.

Several emotional incidents today and this evening.

Today I reread Roz Chast's graphic novel. It made me laugh and cry.

Then, later, I read a few of Kafka's stories again for the first time in a while. They were so beautiful, one excerpt in particular, that I can't help but feel devastated about my prospects of continuing to pretend there's something more to be said. I feel like I've brushed against the summit, against the absolute limit of something. I don't know what to do. I've been writing 1000 words a day for the last week, and looking back on that work, or on any of my work, in light of what I read... they're absolutely incomparable, hardly even the same genus--further apart than a wolf and a chihuahua. I feel the horrible feeling of being thrown back down into the infinitesimal minor leagues of nothingness. I'd thought I was at zero, at least. At least you can build on zero! But I'm not even at zero!

I'm at some point between zero and negative infinity, and I'm still so far from the former that I'm not sure if I'll ever get there. To say nothing of reaching one, or two. And you have to understand, that through all this, the work of Kafka's that I read was somehow dwelling at an absolute magnitude, that is to say, it was somehow positive infinity.

***

Normally I'm not so spiteful and narcissistic as I'm sure I seem here. This was a special case. As usual, it takes me lines and lines (which are still nothing by his standards, aren't even enough words to make up an opening paragraph in his works) to even begin to swim around the honest concept that has been burning as bright as the sun in the center of my vision the whole time.

I saw a post on Facebook by a beautiful girl that I'd known. It was a beautiful painting that she'd done. When I'd last seen it, several years ago, the figure reminded me of Blake's paintings. Now that I know a handful of other things about art, or have seen a few more works of art, I think it looks more like the bodies limned by Michelangelo. I can't say what I mean without sounding stupid: They seem more true to life than reality.

Well that made me think of how lucky I was to have known two beautiful girls, personally, who were capable of creating beautiful things.

And that other one I have to pass over in silence, or at least treat more obliquely than anything else. Let it be enough to quote the poet who said that "he who can say how he burns has little fire."

And I certainly burn. In various ways, I burn. That is the navel of the whole thing, the sinkhole at the center of the ocean, the point that can't be avoided just as surely as it can't be explored.

To see her rocket to heaven, which is where she belongs, while I spend my languid, empty days here on earth, unclean, unhappy, out of step, ahistorical, backwards, debased, degenerate, dumb, maudlin, bad--and to have failed to reach zero, on top of all that! That was the final degradation, why I came here, why I can't be consoled, and why I still burn.

Feel like dying again. Wish you understood my feelings but you never really were the empathetic type. I am pretty close to apathy, teetering on the edge of indolence and carelessness. I wanted you to realize that and save me from the vanity, but you were too busy being vain yourself. I guess this is how these tragedies play out.

Thanks

I can treat you right. You know that deep down, you need a man. I am that man. I'm a big man, I can protect you. I can satisfy you. Be my woman

oh look it's a man who thinks he is amazing for no reason, how unusual.

Right back at you roastie. You probably look like Ayn Rand, it would explain a lot. You could have ME, the magnificent gentleman, but I am unfortunately a pearl before swine.

I thought I had a pretty good insight about American culture on /v/ earlier, but no one cared, and I'm anxious to make a thread just for this. Would anyone like to give some feedback?

boards.fireden.net/v/thread/393787934/#393806509

It's not a completely original thought, since it borrows from things like the paradox of tolerance, but I've never come across an in-depth look at this. The implications seem massive, and may explain idiosyncrasies like the cruelty of American slavery and our clinging to pop culture. Suppose this sounds like generic post-modernism written down, but it feels real now, and I'd like to discuss it.

I hate christmas. Like I legit hate it. I hate the music, I hate the red-green color palette, I hate the cold, I hate paper snowflakes. I HATE THE RED-GREEN COLOR PALETTE.
I'm dead serious. I hate christmas because I hate the aesthetics of it. It started when I was a little kid and it's gotten progressively worse as I've gotten older. I suspect that by the time I'm 50 I'll have a grinch like psychosis from the middle of october to the january 31st.
I HATE GREEN AND RED SO MUCH! LEAVE ME ALONE!
The only reason I'm not actively burning christmas decorations as is, is because now I live in germany, and christmas colors in germany are blue-silver and white-gold

I've been out of my mind. A long time.

I've been out of my mind. A long time.

I keep stalking you, why? I have no feelings for you anymore

Did you get diddled under a Christmas tree or something?

I just jerked off, but I didn't come so now I'm kind of annoyed.

youtube.com/watch?v=N3g8kYC8WfE

me 2. Are ye the same person?

It seems to me that they're saying pretty different things. I don't see how both could apply to you at the same time.