STOP MASTURBATING

imagine signing this piece of garbage

it's not fair

Do girls get jealous when they see a woman like that?

Only one way to find out m9

>implying sex outside of marriage actually exists
>implying it isn't a two-person fantasy

but it clears my sinuses and helps me poop better

Kant

not an excuse

I've been trying to achieve nipple orgasm throughout the past week. I think I'm pretty close to making it, any advice from you guys?

stop trying too loophole you autists

The Virgin Kant
> be a manlet
> never travel 3 miles beyond birthplace
> be stuffy old professor
> prefer deadening systematic thought
> be notoriously difficult to read

The Chad Goethe
> herculean physique
> travel all around italy
> become nobleman
> have divine insight through powerful intuition
> be celebrity all over europe at young age

what do i do instead to ease these discomforts?

Keep at it user I believe in you.

if it's on the level of 'discomforts' just live with it

Having a strong libido can be such a pain in the ass, no pun intended, especially when you're a sexually and romantically unsuccessful asshole.

Here we go for the 4th round of the day. See you on the other side.

I only masturbate once every few months. Are you proud of me, daddy?

I feel this one hard
Strong libido + ugly and socially retarded is life on extreme difficulty Dante must die mode

Bruno mode.

I'm the exact opposite and I actually really envy you anons.
>socially well-adjusted and attractive
>libido so low, I usually can't stay hard for more than a few seconds and cum maybe once every 2-3 months
>tfw girls flock to me
>tfw all of them humiliate me for being impotent and then leave
Anyone know how to become a monk?

get your test checked m8

I'm Kant irl but Goethe on imageboards and chatsites.

I did, it was normal. Every doctor says it's a purely psychological problem and that I might be one of those rare true asexuals.

I've masturbated at least once every day for the past 15 years.

it's nearly impossible to poop if I don't ejaculate like 2-4 times a day. i think it might be a huge hemorrhoid or something.

You're gonna have a fag nipple. Then everyone will know.

b-but it helps me to sleep

You need to fix your diet, brother. get zinc-pilled, son

You might be asexual senpai.

if you want to have sexxual desires to please girl sexually, you eat two kiwis each morning

also, reminder that women hate
-baby dicks
-limp dicks
-long refraction periods
-early ejaculations

and that it will happen to you after you are 35, whatever you do and love and that whatever woman will choose you will despise the situation.

Wait user what the fuck get that shit checked out that is not okay

Will do.

...

Reminder that rarely cumming increases your risk of prostate cancer. If you're not having sex, you should masturbate occasionally for your own health.

W-what?

Is two times a day too much? I'm 25, my hormones are still going cray cray

hm

>all of them humiliate me for being impotent
>tfw no gf to dom me and cuck me

me: used to be good looking and well adjusted

me now: ugly, awkward and no sex drive

lol

>i'm 25 and I ask anonymous strangers on a Congolese fishing forum for advice on my masturbatory habits
google it you fucking retard

Can someone explain to me how masturbation violates the categorical imperative? I really don't understand.

instagram.com/baddangelofig/?hl=en

I think it's that you're using yourself as a means to an end.

I guess, but that seems to equate "myself" with "my dick" which seems disingenuous.

Please user please explain what that is, I'm so worried now

I think so but asexual girls barely exist. I just want a nice girl I can cuddle, do fun activities and have Veeky Forums discussions with, not some dick-gobbling whore who wants to do nothing but fuck. It's gotten to the point where the thought of trying to have sex again gives me panic attacks. No girl I've ever met even came close to understanding how I feel.

>i'm 25 and I ask google for advice on my masturbatory habits

I'm on day 9.

Go on OKCupid, there'll be at least 2 women in your area who are/claim to be asexual.

this guy is a clown, you actually have something wrong with your dick

I had a similar problem, I'd lose my erection after hammering away for about an hour. I explained that I was basically very unsure of myself.
I kind of got a weird kind of stage-fright at the thought of sex and it got worse the "sexier" and the more effort she put in.
I was also concerned about her pleasure as well.

My solution was to make things more casual and be completely open about my difficulties, which was hard because this was my first girlfriend.

After that conversation I gradually grew to enjoy more casual sex, my favourite position was vaginal but me doing it from behind, kind of like the missionary position.
It's low effort and blood can't help but flock to your penis anyway.

So I sort of cognitively-biologically helped myself perform better.
Just some tips.

Well, I had never heard of it, until an old friend came to me all worried about his "fag nipple" -- a prominent nipple (about 1/4") from nipple play. It was summer and he didn't want it sticking out of his shirt. He said, everyone who sees me will know I've got a fag nipple.

I wasn't too sure about that. I had never heard of the term before, much less ever noticed someone with a 'fag nipple.'

Then he says he wants me to help him cut it off, because the angle was too awkward for him to cut it off himself. He presents me with a pair of scissors and a knife, take your pick. And protested at some length: I DO NOT WANT TO DO THIS. But he sort of pleaded with me to do it. And finally, handling the tool, and imagining the required procedure, I simply told him No. I CAN'T do this. It's too much.

And that's where we left it. I don't know how or if he resolved the problem

Lmao. Is this an allusion? It seems very familiar.

that's why you have kids before that, and then hop on the gear for life. 2000 ng/dl for the rest of your existence

I know this feel
I think I'm probably addicted now, I can't sleep anymore unless I'm really tired or I've slapped the salami

I dated an asexual girl for about a year when I was in college. The only relationship I feel nostalgic about.