Why are normie writers so fucking retarded?

Fuck you OP, they are learning to write. Stop the elitism you horrible piece of shit. It's just makes you sound like a truly insecure faggot that got triggered easily.

>Elitism
Pleb spotted

holy.....i want more.....

CRASH

>reddit
>unironically using reddit

>I'm blatantly copying the most popular fantasy/sci-fi of all time with zero attempts at contributing anything original to the genre
>I can't come up with a good last sentence, and am using reddit for writing advice

I know it's cool to hate on Harry Potter/A Song of Ice and Fire here, but it's depressing when someone with writing ambitions doesn't understand that what Rowling and Martin did was carve their own niche into popular fiction, not just regurgitate what had come before them. I doubt if that person understands exactly why those things became the popular culture phenomena that they did.

This guy is definitely joking dude.
>I don't know what to put for the last line -- maybe I shouldn't have one?

How retarded that sentence is shoulda clued you in.

This. It's funny and also a bit Borgesian tbph

I found the page on reddit. Someone asked what he has so far for his ending and this was the response
>"I bid thee, farewell, Hampton, you sly devil," and Mickey took the bottle and bit off the wax seal, he drank heavily of the milky poison, and the end came like a falling piano only much quieter , but many decades later, Mickey's son grew up to be a master of Bushido, he was walking along the street dressed in his electric blue Bushido Gii in Neo-Tokyo and he found an empty bottle.. the same bottle his father had drank, he smirked and tossed the bottle into the night sky, the never ending dark that encompasses us all, fading, fading, until we disappear into the void, the bottle also vanquished.

More lovecraftian or possibly kafkaesque desu

Holy...I want more!

I puked

Beckettesque

There's just... so much wrong with this post all at once. I don't understand...

Fuck off back to r/writing thanks.

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>tfw have a sneaking suspicion that both the OPs are the same person and that the majority of discourse on Veeky Forums starts with a piss glacier

"And that was the end of what was never true"

Yeah this has to be a joke.

Only one enemy remained; two if you counted God.

slick, what's that from?

...

>dialogue connoisseur

One of us, one of us.

...

UnderrAted

"But I suppose, after everything I've been through what I truely understand now is there will always be/I always was [title of the book]"

The poor girl is probably sobbing in a corner right now, what have we done?

>and THAT'S how I got into this situation! *record resumes playing*

/r/writing is pleb

/r/writingprompts is THE patrician sub thank you very much

>and then he turned around and stepped on a rake that hit his nose hard as fuck, the end

>>>/reddit/

>claiming intellectual high ground
>taking the time to insult colorfully instead of pointing towards the path of improvement
Truly nothing more despicable than an unvirtuous mind filled with hate and contempt.

>Thinking anyone on plebbit is redeemable

I like how he thinks "And Jenny slammed the door on her mistakes" is better than "And Jenny closed the door."

>thinks those were suggestions and not examples
I want to read this shit now

Everyone is redeemable. Even redditors. Even you, my jaded friend.

>on reddit
>one of us

>He thinks talent is irrelevant

what the FUG

>reddit

Sweet!

John Green?

>pm me if you want to be published

>the end came like a falling piano only much quieter

He didn't mention Hitchhiker's Guide to the Galaxy was an influence

This OP is definitely trolling, and they're hilarious.

>those were examples, not suggestions

>reddit author
do you expect tsarist russians to list the bible as an influence? It's implied

...

This is a joke post right?

hahaha, you epicly showed them the error of their ways haha
seriously though, kys

>the comment has a delete button

Learn to read.

This made me actually lol

That wasn't very nice

Why would you lose your mind over what may be the most generic thing ever written?

>he thinks talent comes without development

>upvoting yourself
>lest* you infect

Terrible fucking post.

>pretentious asshole
>lmao dae futa cocks?
>namedropping Veeky Forums all over reddit
>plays mobile games to the point of discussing them on reddit
>plays worst diablo
>recommends starting in media res as a way of artificially raising reading difficulty level
>spends more time shitting on sf&f than actually offering constructive advice or even just telling those people to fuck off
oh yeah and
>posts on reddit every day anyways
the only thing I found in your post history to give me a shred of hope was that you're sometimes suicidal

hahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahahaha

>itt tards knowingly take satire literally that they might call others tards
Man, Veeky Forums really has become something perverse. It's indulgence in the extreme, a disturbing level of being comfortable with meaninglessness, a literal celebration of nonsense. There's empty recreation, and then there's this...it's like you're trying on expressions, discourses, things of substance, with a knowing disconnect for the sake of it.

Sort yourselves the fuck out.

>hey guys! reddit told me to come here to "step up my game" haha
>woah, some of you guys are weird! you know normal people don't act like that, hahahaha..... I thought halfchins was a kool kids klub
waow ur so great i wish i cud be as spooked as u

It is precisely because I've been here a very long time that I know things weren't always so. Also, there's a time and place for meming Stirner user, this is neither.

>actual fucking thread about retarded reddit posts
>being critical of such proves you're from reddit
the level of cognitive dissonance here is staggering

it is a literal, unironic fact that redditfugees scream at reddit more than anyone else in an attempt to fit in
now then, you have to go back

>he said while screaming at reddit
just stop

>in an attempt to fit in
Its an anonymous image board user.

fucking kino

I can't read passages like this because it will trick me into thinking im a good writer.

>reddit posts = reddit posters
oh no, somebody has autism
yes, and? where do you intend to go with this?

>That's freakin' awesome, oh wow!

using the word "smirked" is the ultimate pleb giveaway

lold

>Stop the elitism you horrible piece of shit
Is there a more faggy sentence?

this

Everything ThomASS MANN wrote because he was fuckin GAY

Remind yourself where you are.

>many decades later, Mickey's son grew up to be a master of Bushido, he was walking along the street dressed in his electric blue Bushido Gii in Neo-Tokyo
This has to be a joke

Top kek this is genuinely funny.

They had taught Al that staying inside the lines was appropriate. This was the only way that he could reach his true potential. But this was Al's education. It was rote, he didn't feel any different to those children--adults now of course--who had worked in all those factorys because they could fit in the really tight places. The ones that were cramped and often contained one bolt that was a little loose. But it was enough to stop the whole operation.

And GOD knew AL had a lot of loose screws. They certainly did need a little fixing.

His pencil was always sharpened. He thought as he tested the sharpness of his pencils precariously on the ridged canyon that was his thumb.

"Ok, everyone." Ms. Rogoffo announced in a clear commanding voice. She was ugly. Her mole stood at attention when you talked to her. It had a couple of long black hairs competiting for real estate on that fucked up mug.

"I want you all to write a 1,000 word essay. I wanted it to be on the complexities of the non-linearization of ultra fast taylon atoms moving @ speeds faster then light in the atom rings of electrons."

But Al remembered that the human body emits radiation each day. Neutrinos passed through him seamlessely, as if he was porous. But Al also emitted a couple of NEUTRINOS himself. They attracted people. Al was charismatic. He was damn good @ being charasmitic. Except, when he talked too much.

"Excuse me, Ms. Rogoffo" Al said with an ambiguous grin. "I can't write if I have no fingers." Al held up his two bloody stumps.

Ms. Rogoffo looked unimpressed.

"Al please throw those Ketchup packets away. Immediately." Ms. Rogoffo said.

And so Al walked over to the trash can and spit out his gum.

"And you were chewing gum, Al?" Ms. Rogoffo said with a mischevious grin on her face.

She had talked to Al's mom. To be frank, Ms. Rogoffo thought that Al was a little slower then the rest of the kids. In fact, she thought Al was as dumb as a pile of rocks. She had had the conversation with Al's mom just now actually.

"Al is doing great. He's shown proficiency in all areas of maths. He's a poly-glot as well. He eats a little too much. We can fix that though. I think we should accelerate his learning a little. Only because he's so much more special then the other kids." Ms. Rogoffo said.

And so that was how Al's honors oral exam had gone. Al thought he had aced them. All the other kids couldn't have matched his charisma.

can't be real

>This has to be a joke
nothing gets by you user

10/10 to be fair.
Would read

>biting
>one of us

you NEED to go back

I've read graphic gay rape scenes that didn't make my asshole clench as hard as this did.

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