Tfw early start to the day here at the ancient and universally renowned University of Oxford

>eyes closed looking up at the ceiling
>eyes closed
>looking up

You can look at the interior of your eyelids and still be looking up dumbass. When the sun shines you can even see the sun through your eyelids to a degree, dumbass.

The idea that you'd think any of us would be jealous of your fictitious lifestyle is hilarious. You seem to think academic success is the same as intellectual success. Your ability to recite information and retain comprehension of "high end" texts is near invalidated by your inability to write. I'd hope this was a work of fiction because simply put if this is a work of cnf you're completely hopeless. And no, I'm not triggered by you're "amazing" lifestyle that I "wish I could have". I'm triggered by all the simplistic fucks that think college means anything.

>I'm triggered by all the simplistic fucks that think college means anything.

Wow, if you hadn't included this sentence I'd have been tempted to defend myself. As it is, I will simply join the other lurkers here who are currently pointing at their laptop screens or monitors and absolutely howling with laughter as they point and clutch their chest with their free hand so that their heart doesn't absolutely explode through sheer sadistic joy.

I bet you're an accomplished autodidact, not just some dillettante with a library card

...

grades mean nothing in the face of money

Private school virgin vs state school Chad

It's not really about his academic success or lack of it, it's about the storybook cosy lifestyle he's portraying.

bump

>tfw the top Australian uni I attend doesn't even crack top 30 anymore

Fuck you Ivy League and Oxford/Cambridge/St. Andrews etc.

preening yuppie b t f o

Stop impersonating Pessoa-chan.
Sage.

what the hell is "Pessoa-chan"?

I've seen it mentioned like three times this week on here already

Legendary shitposter who made up multiple elaborate personas to troll Veeky Forums with.
Feels like half the copy pastas on Veeky Forums were written by him.

dead link amigo

>not using 4chanx

>lectures and meetings over for the day here at the University of Oxford
>walked back to my dormitory on a surprisingly warm day for late October, bumped into a few of my new friends (all of whose fathers earn at least £87,000 a year in major London-based companies) and chatted for a bit
>currently listening to Morrissey's new songs that my hopefully soon-to-be aristocratic, well-mannered, highly educated girlfriend emailed me
>tfw she says that I remind her of Morrissey due to my having ascended a grim working class plebeian life via love of literature
>going to spoil her rotten tonight with a pasta-based meal and some du vin
>tfw a guy on my corridor from Kent invited me to shoot some avian wildlife with him this weekend for the purpose of experience intense pleasure and fulfillment and I said I'd think about it
>nice cup of tea (or "cuppa" as I say it in order to reinforce my working class identify around others) on my desk and I can literally sea the steam rising from it as I type this
>my hopefully soon-to-be aristocratic, well-rounded, genetically distinct girlfriend apparently knows a girl who lives on my quad since they attended the same Elite private school (~£36,000 fees per year) together so we may organize a faux-bohemian dinner party together soon in my dormitory where they pretend to be "poor students" and drink cheap wine and I play up my working class libidinal impulses and disregard for repressive customs

Another perfect morning down, another perfect evening to come here at the University of Oxford. Oh if only all of my life had been so richly furnished!

>some du vin
I envy your erudition.

You sound like a mediocrity.

*inhales

>Cambridge

Ah, the old rival. I look forward to trouncing them in every field for years to come!

>all of whose fathers earn at least £87,000 a year in major London-based companies
Is this considered wealthy?

I love these threads, OP.

One day I'm sure they'll run their course, but right now they're superb.

Maybe to OP.

I said at least kiddo. I imagine one or two of them are advanced in age and thus semi-retired, and that some are taking it easy (or easier) now that their children have completed their years in elite, high-fee private schools designed to educate the next generation of Great Minds.

>thinking St. Andrews is a good uni

My mom earns about that and she didn't get a degree until she was 40

Of course it is wealthy to me, having been raised in a post-industrial town where jobs were scarce and morals lacking. The most fortunate thing to have happened in my life, by far, is to escape from the peasantry who rot away in the countless obscure towns and cities of this dismal, unaesthetic country and join the ranks of the Elite here at the University of Oxford. My mission from now on is to do whatever it takes to remain in the upper class and to make sure my children do so also. And if that means paying tens of thousands of pounds a year, twice the national average wage if need-be, to make sure my child is educated at the finest institutions where he or she will not have to come in contact with the foul and mediocre masses then by jove that's exactly what I'll do. Literature is all well and good, but everybody reaches the age of thirty some day and although it may be "in vogue" to drift aimlessly through your early 20s attempting to "make it" in some artistic discipline I blinking well won't be drawn into such a fetid lifestyle should it risk my long-tern financial security. I have my eye on the prize, and that prize, dear readers, is Wealth.

Whether or not your mother moonlights for some extra dosh is entirely irrelevant to the main thrust of this thread. The very fact that your "mother" (biological, I hesitate to presume) earned her degree at the age of 40, no-doubt from some institution whose most famous alumni is some obscure Channel 5 presenter, confirms to me at least that her life is entirely lacking in fulfillment, fail as she did to experience the joys of an education here at the University of Oxford.

You're drifting into Pizza-Pessoa-Memoir derivative prolix again, friend. Where's that new angle we talked about?

My mother is a healthcare manager, I just found it confusing that that is considered upper class in England.

>in England

Are you not from the UK?

No. I have no idea what my mother would be considered.

She didn't start making money until I was already an adult though, so I didn't grow up in a wealthy house (she was a home-care nurse and my father is a roughneck)

I love the identity crisis of the working class boy at Oxford, trying desperately to fit in with the rahs and southerners. People make all the right noises to them, fawning over how authentic and tough life must have been growing up poor. Taking that working class culture and fetishising it, donning Adidas for their big night out at Bridge. Trying to hide that they were raised in a healthy home, free from trivial concerns about money.

But the lower class northerners are still a peculiarity. Behind the thin facade of acceptance and equality, they remain zoo exhibitions to be ogled and pointed at. Their peculiar accents mocked. Their inability to ski frowned upon.

"Oh, you grew up poor? That must have been so hard for you, I can't begin to imagine. Still, Oxford now. You've come further than I ever could."

You know they don't mean it, all the pleasantries. Deep down the disdain remains for your uncultured class. It may seem non-existent or inconsequential, but there are reminders. Whenever a mocking accent is put on to ridicule the racist Brexit voter. When you remember that you can't join your friends at Turf because it's too pricey and you have to stretch out your student loan. When some ill-dressed Wadham students are being vocal at an SU event, rallying for racial equality and diversity when white working class boys are still the most underrepresented group.

Keep aspiring to be around that aristocracy you desperately desire, escaping the culture of poverty from which you were thrust into the world. But remember that you will never be in it. You will never belong.

I'm afraid to say that your mother wouldn't be "considered" at all here judging by her educational background. I imagine she would sit in quite well at some second-rate NHS trust in Rochester, though even that would be above her station considering that she was not educated at the University of Oxford.

Your analysis of the class structure here at the University of Oxford is very perceptive indeed, and your calm, carefully articulated hostility towards me is evidence of an acutely intelligent mind almost akin to my own. However, while I may currently be the subject of the upper class gaze, my own disdain for the peasant hoardes of this country, in addition to my ability to not only fawn over but reflect entirely the gait, mannerisms and indeed the expressed ideology of those I am now acquainted with means that I am essentially a Fifth Column with no remaining ties to the "side" I am allegedly fighting for. When I do come out with words such as "cuppa" and "ta" whenever I do so I make sure to conduct myself as the ideal masculine at the same time, physically intimidating the well-mannered, repressed, refined male members of the group, whose female partners (for the evening) look first to me and then at my hopefully soon-to-be aristocratic privately-educated (~£36,000 a year) girlfriend with a mixture of detached, intelligent curiosity and the kind of impulsive awe native to their sex. While some young men here have allowed themselves to be essentially gelded by the strict formalities inherent among the upper class, I have managed to remain fully endowed while also meeting every single criteria necessary to be considered Elite.

...

>tfw Norwegian cabin / pizza box transcript / 6 volume memoir guy has created a new elaborate ruse after laying low for a while.

>we may organize a faux-bohemian dinner party together soon in my dormitory where they pretend to be "poor students" and drink cheap wine
Is this a joke?

>hes not studying in the oldest uni in the world

Stopped reading

nah that actually happens but with more pretence that it's simply engaging in the 'student culture'

You know, I really envy OP. I can very easily imagine the grand banquets, the formal dances, the ancient traditions and all the other experiences one may enjoy while attending the University of Oxford. While lesser universities and colleges are concerned only with maximizing profit and their appearance in the eyes of investors and potential future students and their parents, the University of Oxford contains so many experiences and traditions which don't exist merely to squeeze out more money and to churn out another relatively well-educated young person, but rather to emphasize the importance of high-quality aesthetic experiences in life and also to honour generations of former students long-deceased for whom these traditions and little in-jokes formed the cornerstone of an amazing and indeed incomparably enjoyable youth. The ancient buildings, carefully manicured lawns and wind-swept cobble streets are of course fine attractions, and far more appealing than some low-budget "block" of modern "state-of-the-art" student accommodation full of noise, rubbish and mediocre intellects. Truly, the University of Oxford can be said the represent the pinnacle of human academic achievement, a small, secure place where those delicate, sensitive, perceptive and intelligent enough may experience several years of unparalleled joy.

What is 'student culture'?
Being frugal with money?
Is this some sort of lite-larping?

I hate Anglos.

No way this is him.
His bait was way less obvious and only got more and more ridiculous after a couple of threads.
Also his writing was better.

Imagine you reach the age of eighteen without ever having to worry about money at all, not even once. Your parents paid more than twice the average wage in your country each year to make sure your friends and potential boyfriends / girlfriends were of the same social class as yourself, usually students in the same or a nearby private school in some quaint rural town or village. You then reach university, and are shocked and ashamed to discover that *whisper it* poor people actually exist. Heavens! Some carry on as usual, confident as they are in repeating to themselves the mantra of their former teachers, parents and peers that they are members of a select minority whose genetics and heritage justify their distinct place atop the socio-economic foodchain. Others, however, feel so ashamed that in order to have a more "genuine" experience of student life pretend that they too are struggling to get by, and thus several items of clothing from Primark ironically, drink cheap wine and beer, decorate their rooms sparsely so that the minimalist decor may suggest a sort of bohemian, anti-materialist ideology which is, however, not actually present (something their actually poor friends and acquaintances occasionally discover to their shock when Pippa and Ben(edict) end up landing high-paying jobs in finance only a few weeks after graduation!

It feels like someone imitating his style. Not too badly, but nobody's taking it seriously.

This is the 21th century, you don't "settle down and have a family" with your crush from school

>youtube.com/watch?v=kkA8openjIk

6:25 is your life.

newfag here. who are you guys talking about? is there's an ED article or something on this guy?

warosu.org/lit/thread/S9400985

In the UK working class culture is seen as this paragon of authenticity and reality. There's a lot of embarrassment and middle class guilt over being able to afford a good education and essentially getting a 'leg up' over other students, in addition to parts of working class culture being in vogue due to the struggle (a la hip-hop and the black experience in the US).

Student culture is quite complicated. There are essentially two parts - the general student experience and the particular university or college experience.

The general student experience is straightforward - going out to a club on a night out and getting smashed, the uselessness of Student Unions, complaining about tuition fees, deadlines, thinking medical students are dickheads and compsci/physics students are autistic. All, or at the least most, students share that experience.

Then your uni culture depends on where your uni is situated, the quality of students it attracts, the nightlife, etc. For example, Manchester students are notorious for clubbing all the time and being off their tits 24/7 as drugs are very prevalent there and it's a busy city with lots of nightlife. Loughborough is a sports uni so it has a lot of obnoxious bellends. You can distinguish the different cultures of unis by looking at their meme pages on facebook if you so wish.

Oxford's involves a lot of pretending to not be as wealthy/well-off as you are. This means lots of smoking, dressing working-class, and being not necessarily frugal but intentionally cheap to show that you aren't as middle-class as you actually are. This is justified by the 'poor student' persona, a part of the general experience for most, that many richer students hide behind so as not to seem like they are trying too hard to appear lower-class whilst still maintaining that low standard of living that gives them commonality with the lower-class students despite daddy sending them £150 a week.

>middle class

Why beat around the bush? Many of these people are upper class. To compare the son of a barrister who attended Winchester College to the son of a "middle class" district library manager in Aberdeen is to make class distinctions redundant. The former is upper class.

>tfw also a student at the University of Oxford
>tfw I am literally "that guy" on Campus

Feels so good.

Very true. The aristocracy is so minuscule in this country these days that the traditional class distinction is next to worthless

>Claims to be a BNOC but isn't Hamish
lmao

Am I the only one who thinks that upper and middle class people have nothing to be sheepish about or apologise or anything like that?

I couldn't give a fuck. Maybe it's because I'm an ugly autist who is an outcast everywhere. I've worked with working class people in crappy part time jobs, worked with middle and maybe upper class people, went to a comprehensive and I was an autist everywhere and an outcast at all workplaces.

This stuff about youths of drinking in the park you see from people of all social classes is alien. Where are my sheltered Vidya loving ugly autist friends? Nowhere in the UK, because it's a homogenous normie filled country.

Well fuck you

t. BA UCL MA SOAS and soon to join the Oriental Institute at Oxford

The estate-owning, title-bearing aristocracy may be small and relatively subdued these days (although they still own tons of land, which forces the plebs to settle for tiny houses in congested urban zones) however the upper class is as influential as it was a century or more ago. Many people in this country, born to upper class parents, educated in top predatory schools alongside upper class kids, then schooled (often boarding) at some isolated private school with upper class kids, then attending one of several top universities where they gravitate towards their own, and then onto London for a career working often alongside other upper class kids in industries where people like them are disproportionately in charge, you could transplant them back to the Edwardian era and they would take some time to realize. And it isn't really about family pride and genetic protectionism (which would be somewhat defensible) considering that so many gooks, arabs and jews now study at the same schools who are only happy enough to raise fees to make sure they land as much profit as possible. Several of the top private schools for example have had to introduce quotas to make sure no more than 15% of the student body are jewish, because so many of them have parents only willing enough to send their children to mix and potentially breed with rich white Brits.

>SOAS

Literally who?

>Where are my sheltered Vidya loving ugly autist friends? Nowhere in the UK, because it's a homogenous normie filled country.
No they're just indoors, same as you.

SOAS = individuals who are aware

en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Laudian_Professor_of_Arabic

Yikes, if I were do disgrace myself by attending a school like that I'd petition to have it renamed SOS! The University of Oxford it is not.

What's wrong with this exactly?

K. Keep me posted.

>tfw no Oxbridge-educated bf

It hurts. I don't want to settle for anything less :(

are these threads part of some sort of vast aristocratic ploy to turn public opinion against letting working class people attend university?

my main beef with this is the headline implies the opposite of what it's trying to say.

this.

the 'middle class kids' are usually not very well off or privileged, and shouldnt be conflated with the boarding school kids who go skiing 3 times a year.

imagine being proud of being at oxford

Doesn't it take a lot of time going from Oxford to London?

This book is really comfy. It's about Harvard and secrety psychedelic societies. Highly recommend. Reminds me of OP.

Not OP but hes actually correct - you can get a good job in finance with a 'failed' Oxbridge degree in Classics. Mathematics/Economics or something, even at one of the 'good' universities won't get you an interview at the shittest bank for an internship. Thats how important Oxbridge is here.

Gross exaggeration

>(~£36,000 a year)
What the fuck, I thought Oxford was meant to be a good school? DeVry costs more.

Write it down in a diary so you can write a best selling tragedy.

Not even slightly, in fact the upper end city jobs, the hedge fund types; think the likes of Prince Harry who failed his A-levels - a lot of them are straight from Eton to the City.

He's talking about Eton (essentially 'High School' for the British elite). Oxford and Cambridge tuition is £9,000/year, same as all UK Unis

I agree with you on that.

It's pretty much the same in every country.

>be born
>Grandfather was an earl, family has links to royals going back 1000 years
>Father works in the city
>Go to Eton
>Go to Oxford
>Get meme degree shit like anthropology
>Get a comfy job in the city like a financial consultant
>Become an MP for a conservative region
>Become minister in government

Lmao, that's basically the cost of community college in America.

Theres a pretty convincing theory that the entrenched privelege of the class sytem has stopped humanity from splitting into Eloi and Morlocks - imagine if you'd had 1000 years of true meritocracy with selective breeding for intelliegence. The fact Prince Harrys dopey inbred chums run the City of London is in a paradoxical way quite 'egalitarian'.

>tfw born in a low middle class brown family in the thirld world
>tfw top 10% global IQ mensa garbage
>tfw have to climb the social ladder and move from this shithole
>people will hate me for my skin color and because I'm poor

The morlocks are the superior race. They have a powerful subterranean civilization and they are farming the eloi as livestock. Meanwhile the eloi are fruiting about with flowers and stuff.
I suppose the crabs are the real winners in the end.

>Pippa and Ben(edict)
Kek. I know multiple people at Oxbridge and this is a very accurate portrayal

>genetically profound children
damn well memed, lad

The Eloi are retarded though.

>LARPing as an Oxford student
>constantly and only references Harry Potter as the only thing British you're aware of
I smell community college burger.

Congrats, you dropped 150 grand on a fucking education you could have got for a dollar fifty in late charges at the public library.

>tfw early start to the day here at my commuter 4 year public university
>tfw womens studies lecture at 8:00 a.m., so sitting alone in the smokers area reading buzzfeed in preparation
>tfw not going to Indianapolis as planned, but taking my lower middle class, ex-military($40,000 a year) soon-to-be girlfriend to dinner
>checked email this morning and discovered several unread parking ticket notices, seminars on 'being black in america', and rumba classes in the basketball court
>tfw texting 6.5/10 white girl with 'good music taste, bro" about potential date plans
>tfw she doesnt reply for hours, then responds at 11 p.m. with "i'll let you know"
>tfw mention to her, rather humorously (if i may say so myself) that an indie pop band is coming to town, and she replies with "idk who that is lol"
>read that then start hacking up a cigarette loogie, in awe of my life at 4 year public university
>think about the other guys i see her with, and what i should get from taco bell

this made me uncomfortably comfortable with my mediocre middle class self