Would you guys read this comic?

fucking hell, how old are you?
i'm still in highschool myself (18 y.o.), but I don't use the same highscool setting for everything.
you just seem like some 13 year old who watches way too many movies
google writing prompts, and then write a story based on them
if you can't make anything creative, just accept that you're not really the creative type and have no imagination
because these are god-awful, my dudie

Why do you assume that this is all I write. I already told you, I wrote like a bajillion short stories.
docs.google.com/document/d/1jBndbRfJ-Uus_QtsLHdllo5fH8EZeV8j-bs9P3-J_No/edit?usp=sharing

How about this one?

I don't see any problem with using the high-school genre if that's what I like writing. But actually, what I enjoy writing the most is fantasy

docs.google.com/document/d/1_sa6d6U6u90pv0TSct9VX2XITdfDuT4CCsyoa-XThQw/edit?usp=sharing

Instead of saying it's bad(which I already know) how about you dissect it and tell me why it's bad ?

this one's fucking amazing, i take it back

Okay now I'm confused. Why do you think one is bad but the other is amazing? Am I being trolled?

am i?

Labor limae my dude

It's amazingly bad, that's what. Look, nobody's going to sugar-coat things for you because this is Veeky Forums, all the things you've posted in here have been terrible. But that's fine, you're obviously 13-16 years old. Don't be disheartened, just keep reading and writing.
There's no point in us dissecting your shit and telling you what's wrong with it because you need to learn the aesthetic sense to figure that out for yourself, otherwise you'll never produce anything good without someone telling you how to fix it first.
Go away and keep reading. Read a bunch of shit you wouldn't normally read; romance, SF, real literature, poetry, experimental stuff. Find some authors who have distinct voices and write short stories in their style, learn to get a feel for how different writers use language and what sort of ideas are interesting.
You're just young, you can do amazing stuff if you put the effort in, but you have to put the effort in first. It'll take years. Do that and one day you'll look back on this and understand. Or, more likely, try very hard to forget this happened because it's an embarrassment to the writer you will have become.

In the mean time, other parts of the internet might tell you that what you're doing is great, but that's because they're idiots who are more worried about not hurting your feelings than actually offering useful advice.

>I've written like a bajillion short stories in the past 8 months

That might be part of your problem.
Writing is your passion? Write sometime truly revealing, not this boring shit, write something that is actively painful and frightening to show of yourself

There's this word you may have heard bandied about: hackneyed. It means that something that is overused, unoriginal or trite. The issue with your writing is that it is hackneyed.

In for example, you have a cliche situation. This is bad, but what makes it worse is that everyone in your cliche situation is acting in a way we've all seen a thousand times before. Your shooter walks in and yells: "Everyone get on the ground!" This is typical of every armed bad guy trying to take control of the situation, from school shooters to bank robbers. When people react with shock, the shooter fires a round into the ceiling before repeating their demand - again, a terribly overused cliche. You do it again later that page: "Blow your brains out" has been so overused that no one even uses it anymore. It's a phrase that now exists in the world of parody. People don't use it as a threat, they use it ironically to express how they feel about that Monday morning meeting. Trying to use it sincerely is not going to work.

You're expressing yourself in a semi-visual medium, so if you're a good artist you can probably get away with mediocre writing, but try and avoid these cliches. Whenever you write a line of 'dialogue' ask yourself whether you've heard this said before, and whether it's something a person would actually say sincerely in that situation. If it's a 'yes' to the former, and a 'no' to the latter, rewrite it.

You're missing my point. I'm not asking for any sugar-coating. I'm asking for constructive feedback and actually telling me why it's wrong instead of saying "it's bad, it's terrible, blah blah blah" like a brainlet.

Trying to figure out everything on your own is completely written. When you're in the beginning stages of learning to write, getting feedback from peers and instructors is completely necessary.

completely retarded*

Then all I can say is listen to the other user; your writing can only be improved by making it about something else entirely.

THIS is the kind of useful feedback I was hoping to get. It's a shame that you're the only one who responded that wasn't a complete moron.

If you run into an idiot, you ran into an idiot. If you run into idiots all day...

You went to reddit, but reddit won't tell you the truth out of fear that they'll get a bad reputation or downvotes or however the fuck that works. So you came here, but here we have a culture of being toxic dickbags to people, so that's what you got. If anyone on reddit had had the guts to tell you the truth, you'd have had to have filtered it for their niceties to get an honest answer. Here you have to filter us for our obscenities to get an honest answer. Deal with it.

Can I be really honest with you? Please don't treat me like a bitter cunt or something. I'm a writer too, and I really don't like to criticize people unfairly harsh just for the fuck of it. The stories you posted are garbage. You honestly don't have any grasp on what's resonating, interesting or even just entertaining about fiction. Please just immerse yourself in good fiction for a while and stop writing. This is hopelessly juvenile.

I didn't go to reddit .The problem with a lot of these comments is that there isn't anything worth filtering out. Like I'm primarily an artist and when I get feedback, if someone says "oh the drawing is bad and it's shit" sure, that may be true but it doesn't help me one bit. If someone says "the drawing is shit because it's stiff, the pectoralis major doesn't connect properly to the deltoid, and the characters aren't drawn in correct perspective" I can say oh okay, that great now I can go study up on those things and fix it up.

>I didn't go to reddit
>I'm kind of desperate here to get some form of feedback since reddit isn't giving me any.

¯\_(ツ)_/¯

Another worthless comment. "You're bad so stop practicing". LOL

Look, you guys can shit on me all you want but I'm not gonna give up.

It's not worth it to refine your skills when you don't have any clue what makes a good story or screenplay. Good stories are made by people who can discern other good stories. Sorry but that's the truth.

Guy talking about hackneyed writing here, would you mind posting a link to one of your short stories? Or just a work of continuous prose that you've created that you feel is good.

You shouldn't give up, you should keep on practicing, but I feel like most of the advice you need is very basic (an excerpt of a prose piece would help confirm that) which may be why you're getting such a harsh response.

We're not telling you to give up, we're telling you to spend more time looking at how competent people do it so you can learn from them instead of cranking out endless garbage and blaming other people for not doing your work for you.

Telling people to 'read more' without telling them what specifically to read for isn't necessarily helpful.

We told you what to read and why. Start by reading the thread and not taking what you've been told as personal attacks.

Sure, but it takes time and practice you retard. Stephen king wrote a bunch of shit stories and probably had shit discerning skills in the beginning
I'm already doing that though.
docs.google.com/document/d/1edP62ZqkyNJ2vgIbCiLrNiw8pv62nf2kfvEyOuZLBbo/edit

At first I was writing it down but these days I'm just making mental notes.

You're not replying to the OP. If someone is just starting out, and they don't have a good grasp of writerly concepts, then having them read won't magically imbue them with the skills necessary to translate what they've read into original creative works. That's why 'read more' is, at best, mediocre advice (and at worst, no advice at all). 'Read more, and pay attention to how the author does X' or better yet, 'Read X, and pay attention to how the author does Y' is good advice.

>docs.google.com/document/d/1edP62ZqkyNJ2vgIbCiLrNiw8pv62nf2kfvEyOuZLBbo/edit
behind a share wall

docs.google.com/document/d/1edP62ZqkyNJ2vgIbCiLrNiw8pv62nf2kfvEyOuZLBbo/edit?usp=sharing

I'm tired, sorry.

Is that not the reason he was initially given for reading more?

I was hoping for fiction in the form of continuous prose. All I can get from this is that you need to watch your grammar.

It's 4:00am local, so I'm checking out. Hit up some websites that offer writing advice. If you have spare cash, I can't recommend 'The Little Red Writing Book' enough. It's great for working on prose and for expressing things good and stuff. Keep on writing, user. You're absolutely right: the biggest authors in the world today no doubt produced the most hackneyed, banal shit in the world when they were starting out.

"Read more."
>"Why?"
"To be less shit."
>"Less shit how?"
"Read more."

Yep. Top advice m88.

I spit up coffee when he said: Sigh. Then I shook my head too vigorously when you ended it with Chapter 1, of your screenplay. Wasn't it a comic? Did you die yet?

>Go away and keep reading. Read a bunch of shit you wouldn't normally read; romance, SF, real literature, poetry, experimental stuff. Find some authors who have distinct voices and write short stories in their style, learn to get a feel for how different writers use language and what sort of ideas are interesting.
Top reading comprehension mB4027