Write what's on your mind

HEY I REMEMBER WRITING THAT IMAGE
That story we had going was fucking great

When does being man mean less about being himself and more about being in charge?

I sure hope I can get this short story collection published.

I don't plan on publishing anything before I turn 30. I'm 25 and I already know what I have written so far is a shadow of what I have inside of me. I have no idea what the actual publishing process is like, or what I have to do for prep (aside from finding an editor), but I know I don't want to show anyone my writing until it is more polished.

I'm wondering if I shouldn't try to build a presence in social media, like starting a blog or writing op-eds, just to get my name out there. The thought makes me sick, but if it helps me in the future I may as well.

phimosisjourney.wordpress.com/guide/

This guy found out very late in life and had very severe phimosis. He has pictures so you can see how bad it was and how far he got.

I don't have it so bad, but mine doesn't bother me. Why's it untreatable? Just get into Philosophy and become Volcel. Start with St Augustine.

s-so the jews were right?

>be me
>be at circus/fair thing
>getting a blowjob from a qt3.14 near a tent
>I'm kinda lengthy and don't feel much so she has to blow me for a while
>a few minutes pass
>some little boy and their dad walks up to the tent where I'm getting blown
>kid looks at me getting blown by some girl
>my face is bright red
>"I want one of those, daddy"
>wtf.jpeg
>girl looks at the dad
>dad nods in approval
>girl grabs me and ties me up
>folds me into the shape of a dog
>hands me to the kid
>TFW I'm a red balloon animal

Chloe felt tethered to heavy places, to cursed damp places where she'd sit and think and let the millipedes crawl over her fingers. One time a witchetty grub went up her bum.

there’s this giant centipede or prawn, or a cross between the two, crawling into me head first, my legs being really wide apart to accommodate him. As he crawls into me, his thousands of fuzzy legs fall off onto the sheets around me. He tickles and excites me as he undulates and wiggles from side to side getting further and further in, and he becomes drenched with my nectar, which he licks up and is strengthened by. He goes on up and up. This all takes hours as he is ten thousand feet long, but I like every inch of it.
The next morning, happily exhausted, I begin the ritual of carefully gathering up the thousands of orange fuzzy legs that surround me, and take them in a wicker basket to the kitchen. There I dump them into my blue enamel jam making pot, and add sugar, orange peel, lemon, nutmeg, banana peel scrapings, and a bit of hash when available (very optional). At the hard-ball, or so-called crack stage of cooling, I pour the orange mass into penis-shaped molds (can be bought in your nearest sex shop), and allow them to cool and harden. To be sucked later when desired, but I usually give mine away to my friends, as the penis-shaped mold itself is far more satisfying and I share him with no one. You’d be surprised how many of my friends drop by for their sucks. As you can tell, these aren’t things I really think about while fucking. They’re not even masturbatory fantasies, just the kind of idle daydreams I have after a bath, while I’m lying down for an hour or so, half asleep, half awake, waiting until it’s time to get dressed and go out for the evening.

the jews are always right

I hope I can finish this degree before I kill myself.
If only I knew what to do afterwards.

>go to bed early and wake up early feeling terrified I won't be able to get any writing done the next day because of whatever the latest reason writer's block is throwing up
>manage to get more slightly more done more easily every morning than the day before
>feels fucking great

Law school killed my will to live

Why is it untreatable? I had no luck with stretching and opted for surgery. Best decision I've ever made.

Does anyone really deserve anything, good or bad?

Define "deserve"

They will send me in army

I'm using earlobe stretchers but it's not really working

Mine too, user

to gain or be punished justly

'Just' according to what measure?

I had a sequence of dreams last night that concluded in a mid-dream acceptance of death, and it was kind of fucked up. Like, for several nights in a row (in my dream), I'd almost die in some super gruesome way, but barely survive. For example, the last one had me rescuing a puppy before crashing and skidding about a mile on the asphalt, yet we both were fine. At the end, I told my mother how happy I was to have God's favor, and she agreed. Right then, my mind turned to all the hideous end points of flesh - the decay of old age - and so on, and it all went sour while she was still smiling.

Who comes up with stuff like that? That's some Twilight Zone-level material. I'd rather have the incest dreams than this.

My job is too stressful for the pay. Maybe I'm too easily stressed out. But I'm sick of dealing with the dregs of society who feel like they can berate me as they please, and who don't understand the very simple rules of "the game". It's not my fault you're in your situation. I don't care if you end up homeless. Don't act like it's my fault.

I enjoy these comfy threads.

>been having dreams where im flirting with married coworker

In my dreams I am a Chad

I moved into the living with a single mom and her 10 year old son to save money as I had just moved from across the country and wanted to stay somewhere cheap while I worked on finding a job and a good place to live.

My fantasy of living with a sexy milf quickly evaporated when I saw that the woman was a short and fat Irish women with heavy jowls. She was nice enough but after living with her and her son for a month I think she is mentally ill. She rarely cleans up and the kitchen is usually a disgusting mess, I have to do most of the cleaning myself. She complains of not having enough time to do it but spends all her time at home watching tv, even going so far as to set timers for what she cooks and then going back to catch a few more minutes instead of cleaning while she's there.

This has also been a firsthand education in how single-motherhood leads to children not being raised properly. The kid is a brat who spends almost all his time on his computer playing games. Sometimes he switches it up by bringing out his laptop into the living room so he can listen to the television while playing on his laptop. On multiple occasions in the past few days money has been taken out of my wallet and when I asked his mom to talk to him about it she seemingly accepted his explanation of innocence and acted offended when I implied he took it.

Whenever he doesn't get what he wants he adopts a hurt and offended whiny tone as a strategy to get her to comply, just yesterday he ate all of the whipped cream she had bought for some pie and over the course of the day she berated him 4 or 5 times over it and asked if he took it only for him to whine each time about how he didn't take it even though all 3 of us knew that he did. It's depressing to watch. I want to find somewhere else to move but I need to save up the money first.

>mfw trapped in this situation for the next several months

Dad's not around at all?

Do you have stairs in your house?

Never seen him once, She gets child-support from him but it's my impression that they had a non-amicable separation. I don't know what the reason is but when talking about how hard she has it she has referred to herself as a single mother and says the dad is not around and so I assume they are divorced.

no sex and no friendship on the horizon as a continuation of the past through the present on to the future, bam

check that off the list of things to care about

now, to get down to business
this thing of being alive
the thing I would find most disgusting were I to come to know it as my future: work a job, come home and be passively entertained, rinse repeat

sooner would I hang myself right now

a job grinds you down, and I don't need to impress anyone with buying stuff, that's the dumbest thing I could think of pursuing right now

the less I need the better
if your life is creative instead of passive, you need less, because your mind and your hands are your entertainment, and only one or two tools are necessary
if you're a writer, it costs you practically nothing, and you can read from libraries and steal their pens and paper
if you're a musician, you just need your instrument, or your one decent laptop, a one time investment
all the other superfluous things must die off
the less time I spend making money the better
500 dollar single room rent, or fuck it if i can find a private place to wash my body in some natural water everyday then 0 dollar rent with me and my one man tent

no ties with family, with anyone, no cellphone, no distractions
that old messiah complex that swelled within me during the sleepless nights
I don't want to see lights at night anymore
I want to be in darkness at night, to restore my relationship to the darkness and to our dead ancestors, who dwell in natural darkness and shy away from the well lit suburbs and cities
everywhere is encroaching upon the benevolent darkness
I have visions of the type of world I want to live in
That should be enough to sit, and try to see, ever more clearly, those places
their interesting geometries, fauna, colorful clothing, strange customs, but the supreme virtue is the garden
would that we would worship the world as a garden and help it return to its glory as a garden
an endless garden no matter how far you travelled, or if it be deserts and tundra, then these are beautiful sacred empty spaces, the kind that are fast disappearing youtube.com/watch?v=DYey4L6hIWQ

>On multiple occasions in the past few days money has been taken out of my wallet
You're a fucking cuck. Take it back.

Put a mousetrap in your wallet. Or flash paper and armstrong's mixture. Get an exploding wallet.

I feel this insane urge to do something, but I’m not sure what and it’s killing me. There are things missing from my life that I cannot identify. What do you call this? Does it have a name?

God, some say

I have lost my will to do what I once found pleasure in, not all to long ago I was completely fine but at the moment I feel completely despondent about everything and like I've lost all my motivation, I sometimes oversleep in the morning despite not needing to, skipping breakfast to hurry to class where in turn I am an unfocused drone who is simply there, not paying any attention at all, despite me not caring I still feel overwhelmingly stressed and pressured to finish up any schoolwork I need to do, I have no idea what is happening to me.

Put cyanide in the cream.

I'm too fucking dumb to figure out modularized functions that pass inputs into an array in another function holy shit

It's not even complicated but my brain refuses to parse it

told my therapist id have the first chapter of my novel done before i next saw her but the appointments tomorrow and i havent even started

Stop procrastinating? If you didn't do it yet, either you're a lazy fuck or you have no inspiration to write an introductory chapter.

but i want to watch anime and play games

Y-you can't do that if you want to write a book, senpai. It shows that you have a shitty character if you can't keep your promises or just being superficial.

Also, I thought Veeky Forums isn't a big fan of anime and video games.

maybe you dont want to write a novel then frend
if you have to force yourself to do it then you shouldnt do it because it'll be shit anyways

Maybe somewhere deep inside he wants to write, but I think he needs to change a lot. A person that watches anime and plays video-games instead of giving his writing a chance to see how he does, needs to change. I despise superficial people (Because I was one a few years ago and I felt like shit after I realized that too), it's like seeing an old-self in the mirror.

But if he just "wants to write a book", then I 100% agree with you. Writing must come naturally, it must be your hobby at first and then to become your passion.

What the fuck does that even mean? is this what philocucks spend their life on? Not even /b/ deserves this level of trash.

Sounds like depression. Seek help, you are worth the effort. It does get better, with or (my preference) without drugs, depending. Set aside time to do what makes you happy, even if it's something new. Exercise, and spend time outside. It will get better, just don't get stuck in a rut or it will take longer. Good luck, friend.

I'm pretty sure Veeky Forums is a bad board
Just watch anime and live a plentiful life

...and think.

(I still trust the wiki, however.)

He who fights with monsters should look to it that he himself does not become a monster. And if you gaze long into an abyss, the abyss also gazes into you.

"THAT'S FATHERLY REASSURANCE THAT SHIT IS FUCKING TERRIFYING."

I swerved into oncoming traffic to avoid its hypnotic glare. I had become all too familiar with this suffocating blackness, this writhing mass of warm, intoxicating blood and scathing pupils.
"GO GO GO, I JUST CLOCKED AN OFFICER."
I saw the jagged red spikes emanate from the approaching vehicle, signaling a volatile mixture of terror and rage. I could feel the blood pump avidly through my veins, producing heavy, terrifying beads of sweat. The car screeched and bounced off the street while the houses shimmered in the edges of vision.
When left distrustful of physical sensations, you are only left with a torrent of psychotic mental apparitions to cling to, and even they are designed to cunningly mislead.

/a/ is a bad board

Or, these were jews pretending to have phimosis to quell all the 'evil jews cut my baby dick' discussion

I did not see this thread, made a different thread that I mutated into this sort of thread. Ignore the one with the same image as this.

I saw hand’s in that stream, faces, feet. Bones dashed against the rocks when they would not flow. A horde of onlookers lined the banks where I walked. Stepping among the stones and rocks and wide smiling skulls tilted towards the cascading mass. Each rough node another entity, silent with judgement. The trial closed, the current now carrying the penitents down down downstream further, through this savage gauntlet. On the far bank was greater hulking beasts, imposing despite of, or because of, their formless strength.

I remember one camping abckpacking fall, spending the night in the presidential range. Maybe grover cleveland or probably garfield, something with a g. We camped one hundred steps from a waterfall, and it leapt from pothole to pothole to the edge of cliff, then down. The day before was spent descending the upper portion of the falls, tracing a path from bank to bank and down the falls themselves, scrambling from rock with careful feet. Jon with his old knees tried to make his poles his other legs but they could not reach far enough, he slowed and went to six points of contact, the hands dropping the weight to his legs and the poles doing their best to push him side to side as they swung from his wrists.

I remember when the girls came into our tent trying to be quiet by revealed by the rush of nylon and zippers. We laughed and felt each other in the dark, they came into our mummy bags. We had been five days on the trail but everything smelled the same. I remember how the moisture collected on the inside of the bags and the space between us. They came the next night too but the next after we were too tired after pushing twice as far that day. I felt strong and thought to walk around the night without a headlamp. While my tentmate slept I zipped out and made my way to the stream to find some light in the clearer sky. While swinging my legs in the current another hiker came upon me. He had a full pack and one long stick, well notched at either end. His headlamp light up the trail, but i hadn’t seen it untill he was next to me. He stopped some yards downstream to get water, did not see me. But I saw his face, hallowed with sharp bones further marked by shadows, and knew why he walked through the night. The season was late and there were many miles left before katahdin but much less days before snow.

The ebook industry is worth tens of millions of dollars and I can't get people to download my free magnum opus jr.

: ^ /

whats your job?

where were you without your wallet and where was it that it was so accessible?

lock on your room door? hide your wallet better?

>seeing a female therapist
youve got problems alright

I spend the majority of my time lurking /v/ and /tv/ now not because I care about those hobbies, but because it's the only activity capable of stimulating my broken brain. After some coffee, I can make a little art, but I don't see the point - even if I did improve, I wouldn't be happy, and no one would care. Five weeks now I've been on the pills, yet my emotions are still gone. I can't keep living like this.

It wasn't clear because of a typo in the original post but I'm living in their living room for reduced rent. There is a loft bed accessible by ladder with a desk underneath it. In one instance I came home late from work, emptied my pockets including my wallet onto my desk, went to bed and when I got up to go to work the next morning the money was gone.

I'm assuming he snuck out and pilfered it while I was asleep. I hide my wallet in my bags now so it won't be an issue but it's just annoying that I even have to worry about that.

Unless it's for something like schizophrenia I would recommend taking up meditation or yoga and using it to wean yourself off of the pills, modern psychiatry is mostly a scam pushing outdated drugs that are 50-60 years old. Also stop using electronics before bed and take melatonin so your sleep cycle is no longer fucked.

It's not Schizophrenia, but I have most of the symptoms of SPD, and a form of Anhedonia worse than any case I've read online. Meditation helps with the stress of the condition, but you're SOL as far as treatment goes unless you have a lot of cash to spend on drugs that probably won't work. I just fixed my sleep cycle, at least.

I would recommend getting into eastern philosophy if you haven't already, the Bhagavad-Gita is good and has a lot to offer people who are afflicted with problems. The Tao Te Ching is good as well.

dlshq.org/download/bgita.pdf

Every time something I like gets popular with young people and the American mainstream, I immediately start disliking and losing all interest in it. It happened with anime, my favourite video game series, genres of music, even certain figures of speech. To take my mind off these things, I indulge my other interests, but they're all very solitary and I can't really discuss them with other people.

I feel sorta sad about it, but I otherwise have a comfortable and successful life, so I generally just accept it and try not to think about it when I can.

I sure do love fat girls.

youtube.com/watch?v=WuSiuMuBLhM

Reading the republic for the first time. I'm an undereducated loser, yeah. But Why did no on tell me how comfy this was? I have been putting it off for ages because I was scared of philosophy.

not posterfag but thanks friend. You helped me some.

Property management. I suppose I could have been more transparent in my op. The job has been great in terms of experience and realizing what my strengths and weaknesses are but holy shit is it ever stressful. Though I hate the term "red pill" there is no greater red pill than working in property management believe me. People are shit. White black or brown. Actually immigrants are probably the best tenants desu. It's always the white trash on disability that act like entitled cunts.

I have no idea how to control my desires.

>It's always the white trash on disability
maybe you can have a little more understanding about how hard it might be to do basic things with certain disabilities.

How did you get into property management? Do you work for a company, or do you yourself own properties? And do you actually fix things, or are you more of like a secretary middle man auditor?

Everyone feels that the first time through. Had a different take the second time though.

and how much it sucks to live in apartment without proper amenities, water, heat, electricity, whatever it may be.

Or what are some of the regular conditions? You also mentioned homelessness, so you make deals with people that are late on rent and stuff?

Go on

Don't worry. It gets easier with age

I have trouble reading intensive works due to a schizoid/OCD/ADHD hybrid thing where I fixate on something and it really distracts me. Besides that I'm literate and can comprehend things well enough.

I might just try reading poetry and focus on that. Easier for me.

Most people on disability are able bodied people with "social anxiety" or have a history of drug problems. Most people with disabilities could work if they needed to. As far as I am concerned, as someone who has dealt with hundreds of these "people", that is a fact.

Apartments can't be rented if they are unfit to live in. Must have all necessary amenities (though they may have to pay for them themselves) and be free of pests. As for deals, you learn quickly in this business that deals are for suckers. I can't even bare to tell you how many times I got burnt before I stopped making deals with people. Now I send out eviction notices on the 2nd if I don't get rent in. No exceptions. Part of the reason you can't make these deals is because of the bullshit involved in evicting a tenant. It can take up to 4 months to evict a tenant for non-payment of rent (thank you social justice/welfare state). Then after I am out 4 months of rent, plus legal fees, they just go and dupe someone else. Because it's illegal for landlords to share "Do not rent" lists. I am actively trying to find a way to circumvent this and create an open-source anonymous DNR list for Landlords in the area. Oh, and you can't garnish disability, or pensions because people with those are apparently immune from repercussions.

Are you starting to understand yet? Why I don't care if some dumb fuck in a wheelchair says "I'm gonna be homeless if you don't rent this place to me without me paying first and last months rent upfront!!". I really don't give a flying fuck because I've been burnt so many times by people just like him.

Thats why I am a marxist. You didn't answer my question about whether you work for some company, or you yourself are the owner of the properties?

Hey man I'm on disability but I try not to put people through bullshit

I was taking melatonin and over time it made me depressed. Suicidal, even. I stopped taking it and I'm insomniac again, but I don't want to die anymore. I should've known better than to take a hormone in pill form, our bodies have a very delicate balance and for some of us the baseline is low enough that it kinda sucks, bt not so much that you'd want to stop living.

Some people become depressed while taking melatonin, some do not, so the person in question should take it for a week and see how they do.

I will cut the bullshit.

You need to get out of your head and play your nature.
Challenges
Competitions
Exercises (I recommend boxing)
All sorts of relationships
Being good at something
Having a girl idolize you

You get the memo, don't fall for the "literary lifestyle" people preach here, you are flesh. You need to be the archetype of a hero, discover the means and get good at it.

The end game is being proud of who you are, every comfort you have in life will only be sweet the moment you believe you deserve it, and you can't bullshit yourself. I would be 100% at peace even if the world were to crash around me, knowing I could build it up again for me and those who rely on me.

Why so sad, Ladies? One in four ( that we know of) are on drugs.
huffingtonpost.com/2011/11/16/women-and-prescription-drug-use_n_1098023.html

the heroes journey is about overcoming ego, Might want to reread Campbell and Jung with that in mind.

>tfw on disability in socialist country
>do basic maintenance to help landlord out
he doesn't fuck me up on rent and i don't charge him for keeping my place in shape, though legally we both could. i think they have a special list for wheelchair accessible housing because you cannot make a person live in a house they cannot access. why does the government not pay direct to landlord if they are social housing?
t. yuropoor

>You didn't answer my question about whether you work for some company, or you yourself are the owner of the properties?

Why is the relevant?

You guys are good people. Not saying you don't exist but most people on disability can only afford low-income housing and that attracts a certain crowd. And yes, rent does come in direct but they can cancel direct payments at any time.

I feel totally baffled by casual drug use. I like to drink, but outside of that I've never done drugs at any point in my life. I've never even smoked weed. I just don't see the appeal of it all.

>And yes, rent does come in direct but they can cancel direct payments at any time.
here. what? the money goes from government to landlord. how can the person living in the housing stop payment?

there are very bad landlord here, so if you find a landlord who is good, you respect him. very bad landlords cannot become social housing, but the government pays for damages in social housing because the government holds the lease, no? here social housing is guaranteed pay to landlords for basic standards, and i think more if you modified for disability because that is less common property, to encourage landlords to register and modernize.

most people don't go through the system to work out repairs because it is less time and paperwork to just tell landlord that electrical or water things are broken and need fixing. you're meant to, so government has record, but then nothing would get fixed. you can stop money if you need repairs to make liveable, but that is because the government says do not pay for social housing that is health risk. you cannot stop pay for no reason. what if they are schizophrenic and think banks are evil one day? the government doesn't give them decision to live in shithole bad landlord apartment either, why do they let them stop pay?

saged. i do not understand how the disabled person is allowed stop payment from government to you.

Here disability is considered their money. Direct payments are encouraged by their workers but not enforced. Because it's "their" money they can cancel direct payments at any time just like you could do with a post dated cheque. Gov doesn't pay for damages or anything like that.

Really they should bring back mental institutions but because of alleged abuse they stopped funding them and all the disabled retarded got unleashed on society, driving up rents for normal working folks

the final redpill

Worked in social services for 3 years before my current job(logistics). Citizens are entitled faggots that keep delaying and lying. Immigrants do what the fuck you tell them they need to do almost every time.

oh. that makes no sense. rent is government to landlord for housing disabled here, because disabled person cannot provide for oneself. we consider some money the person's, but bills are also direct to utility from government, and if you go over amount, they put in timer meter for you. not paying is sign you are very disabled or maybe dead, if you understand.

the government also allow you ask for certain amount of money to be put aside for bills or other necessity, but that is normally for people who need nurse/parent to manage care, and money might go missing.

institutions here are no good. social housing here is good because most reasonable people realize government money is guaranteed. some bad landlords charge much much more, and landlord can stop social housing by asking to charge much more next year, but most choose to get about average rent guaranteed for i think seven year contract.
it's stopped a lot of very bad landlords. once i saw this place and landlord told me "oven is in wardrobe" as if that was normal sentence after price he mentioned and i thought someone or something just died in there from smell.

with disability, government has to inspect it for you because you are dependent. it is not like unemployed, because unemployed deal with landlord like private citizen.

I felt faith so strongly when I was desperate and needed help but now that things are okay i am like reflexively like psh I'm in control of this ship who needs Jesus

Why do I fall back into thinking I don't need God so quickly after I needed him so much

Am I a bad Christian

Ennui? Also, avoid the rookie mistake--it's a French pronunciation