ITT post worst/most notable experiences from writing classes

>Mature-age student asks a question

>A question that has now lasted 50 minutes

How do people become like this

>older student asks question
>gets upset at younger teacher answering it, pretends he knew the answer the whole time for 20 minutes

My writing class had donuts too but our lecturer always forked out for a large box from dunkin donuts and they always went quickly because Dunkin is fucking delicious. I probably got fat because of writing classes.

Our group was pretty small though and really only had a few girls (mix of qt and hipster) and three guys including myself (we were all kinda dorky). Although we actually got shit done so idk

> arrogant mature-age student who supposedly knows it all puts their hand up when the lecturer mentions an author
> "yes?"
> "I've worked with them before."
> lecturer pauses
> "That's nice."

Never had a larger internal smugface than that moment.

I took an entry-level creative writing course and it had That Guy, you know the sort, almost never talked except to criticise someone else's work and name-drop "obscure" writers or to argue with the tutor who just sort of gave up bothering and rolled her eyes whenever he spoke up. We were supposed to do several assignments but he wrote maybe two pages over the duration of the course and then when we had to read them out he got really nervous and stuttered his way through the thing so quietly we couldn't tell what he'd actually said but we acted like it was good anyway. I guess he believed us because he dropped out of that class and I haven't seen him since, I heard that he thinks he's a writer now, too good for us.

I took an entry-level creative writing course and it had That Guy, you know the sort, almost never talked except to criticise someone else's work and name-drop "obscure" writers or to argue with the tutor who just sort of gave up bothering and rolled her eyes whenever he spoke up. We were supposed to do several assignments but he wrote maybe two pages over the duration of the course and then when we had to read them out he got really nervous and stuttered his way through the thing so quietly we couldn't tell what he'd actually said but we acted like it was good anyway. I guess he believed us because he dropped out of that class and I haven't seen him since, I heard that he thinks he's a writer now, too good for us.

I had a professor that provided the Jacobin as an example of a reliable source and had us write shit analyzing Bob Dylan songs more than once.

why the heck would he drop out because of that

He thought he was too good for everyone else in the class.

but.... if he's really "that good" wouldn't it just be a free A

Gunno Padalsky
Gavnar Samoiloff
Reonid Sadkov
Aruslam Jidkiy

You tell me.

maybe

>older student
>looked like a bloated chipmunk
>wore the same purple clothes every day
>would regularly eat tuna fish right out of the can
>road around on a scooter
She ruined what was otherwise a nice class.
One time, she said that a widowed character remarrying later in life was just as bad as her husband having a gay affair in life. Seeing the professor's double take when she said that was almost worth putting up with her shit every class.

I was in a community college creative writing course. Most of my classmates were there for an easy English credit toward their BA; I was there because I was 21, unemployed, depressed and living in my mom's basement. For our 'final' we each had to write a novelette and critique each other. Mine was a shameless ripoff of Stephen King's Gunslinger, except the Jake character was recast as a girl. During the penultimate sequence, this girl is raped by a lecherous old sorcerer.

My peers made some very delicate word choices when trying to talk their way around the subject matter; it was one of the most awkward moments of my life. The professor dubbed it a 'fascinating effort'.

>rape in a community college bullshit class
Holy shit, YOU were THAT guy, hahaha.
Edgy fucktard.

I did a BA in Classical Studies and have two stories to share, both from my final year.

In one class we were discussing the collapse of the Roman Empire, and our professor noted similarities between the current refugee crisis and the Roman refugee crisis. Some bimbo dressed in a bellytop got upset about the refugee situation being presented in a negative light, interrupted him, and said that we couldn't draw any comparisons from the period because it all happened so long ago. I turned around and asked her why on earth she chose to study Classical history if there were no lessons we could learn from it and she was dumbstruck.

In another class we were discussing the plays of Seneca and our lecturer began to explain his influence on Shakespeare. A mature female student (who was a vocal feminist) raised her hand asked what kind of Latin did Shakespeare write in. The professor stared at her in silent disbelief for a full thirty seconds.

In my intro to poetry class, a girl asked our professor if ghosts were actually real.
It was hilarious, he was gobsmacked for a second, trying to process what she just said, and came up with that he believes in spirits and ghosts, but they haven't been 100% verified.
It was so hard not to just explode with laughter.

I only one of myself
>Be me
>Monday afternoon
>Spent previous night drinking , hungover af
>Go to American literature class where we discuss some poetry we read the day before
>Feeling like I'm about to fall asleep/pass out , but want to get good boy points for participation
>Open books, start talking about poetry n shit
>Notice one of the references in the poem is from Macbeth, from a soliloquy I had to memorize for AP English
>"Heh this will get me good boy point s, easy"
>Point is out , quote from the soliloquy
>Prof: "Yes user, it says so in the summary at the bottom"
>Shid :DDD

>day before
*Week before

Also, anyone else for this feel?

>Class has many cute girls I'd love to talk to
>Never speak to any of them because I'm a coward
>Go home to empty apartment

>They were literally all out of my leagu anyways

I'm you but smarter

>have tutorial on accounts of American colonists being captured by natives
>have to buy a tutorial book with all these accounts printed in it
>don't buy it
>outside the tutorial I ask everyone what their readings were about, tell them I haven't bought them
>"ughh it was full of boring Bible quotes"
>I ask what parts of the Bible were quoted
>tutorial begins
>professor asks questions about our readings
>"why do you think she quotes the book of Job here?"
>with a shit-eating grin I launch into a summary of the book of Job and how the writer is comparing her experience among the Indians with Jobs' suffering, which was part of a larger Christian narrative colonists used to Cole with Indian attacks
>professor nods and smiles and keeps saying, 'yes, exactly'
>professor shits on everyone else's answers to other questions, only gave approval of mine
>everyone in class is surprised because they knew I didn't have the readings done
>a girl approaches me after class and says "wow you must be really smart how did you answer his question without doing the readings?" (apparently having a knowledge of the Bible is unthinkable)

My faggot fucking “professor” raged at me because I used the term ‘limp-wristed’ to describe someone in a story we read. Also because I told a classmate their story was a ‘complete disaster’ in a critique.

Not writing class, but for an English 101 tutorial. Teacher got us to write a sentence for an exercise. She put up an image of a local beach during the 20s. I look at the beach and see a little girl, sand, parasols, actual horse-carriages near the waves. I decide to make the most long-winded sentence I can, since I wanted to add all the feeling I was getting from the image.
>Toes dipped into the sinking sand, waves retreated to find the pale ligaments shoved into it, Lucinda watched, as the sun, which was overcast, shone down on her and almost seared the flesh, which came to the protests of her mother by the beach...
It was something like that. Once we'd all written them, the teacher tells us to give the small slips of paper to the person next to us. We'd been reading Mrs Dalloway, and the teacher wanted us to emulate the way in which she wrote (stream-of-consciousness that switched between characters) through this exercise. I get to sit next to this grumpy sperg, whose eyes looked closed over from playing vidya all night or something. I think he was a STEMfaggot and was doing this as an elective, because he told me once he hated the books we were assigned and never read the set readings. I think he only talked to me to see if anyone else was as behind as him. He asked me once, 'Do you like this book?' [Mrs Dalloway] Yes, I said, and he was surprised, since he couldn't make heads or tails of it. I doubt he got through ten pages. So, everyone's ready. The teacher says, 'swap with those next to you.' I give him mine, and he doesn't even bother to read it. Probably too hard for him. I look at his and try not to laugh. It looks like it was scribbled by a primary schooler. The teacher makes the class recite the sentences out loud, tables represent clusters of sentences or a paragraph. It starts from the other side of the room. Nearly every table is some boring, basic sentence that is barely evocative. Most just describe ants from a distance on a beach or something. But the simplicity of everyone else is only matched by the sentence handed to me by the sperg. It then comes to my turn, I have to read it out loud.
>The sun was very hot on the white sand.
I say with a straight face. His turn, continuing for a *subtle* change in consciousness:
>Toes dipped into the sinking sand, waves retreated... what? to find the pale... liga... ligaments shoved into it... Lucinda watched?
His face is scrunched as he tries to read my sentence, it's probably gobbledegook to him. He should be at home enjoying vidya, not this.
>As the sun, which, arghhh, was overcast, s-shone down on her... ah... and almost seared the flesh... which....
The teacher stares at the kid as he goes red. I think the multiple commas are throwing him off.
>came to the protests of her mother by the beach...
>'Very good,' the teacher says, turning on her heels to face the rest of the class. 'Now do you guys see how Mrs Dalloway functions?'
I wonder if he gets the book now.

I have one of these

What was his beef with "limp wristed"

>punched in the neck
>did he go blind??

bro it's obvious he died.

This guy reminds me about one of my profs who detests any expressive figures of speech which relate to the human body. According to him everything needs to le pure, divine nature metaphors; no realism allowed.

>Knowing about the book of Job is now a patrician thing
What the actual fuck? The absolute state of western educational standards.
>I'm smarter
>Tfw I also was approached by people after class about being knowledgeable as well
>Even though what I said was basic bitch tier shit
101 and 201 classes are jokes desu

Isn't this a pasta?

>English 101 class in community college
>the theme of the month has been artificial intelligence and its ramifications
>told to write on the board the different aspects of ethical thinking from the human perspective vs. a machine's perspective
>I write "logic-based" under the machine's perspective column
>When we start talking about what was on the board a couple students say they are confused about what I wrote.
>Class know-it-all speaks up and says "I think the confusion comes from that fact if say a machine has to make the choice to save a thousand people by neglecting one, it will save the thousand people over the one person which we would of course consider illogical. Only a human is capable of making a truly logical decision."
>Whole class agrees including the professor and they erase my answer and put it under "Human perspective" instead.

I was never more ashamed of of being in community college. Emotional (Human) vs Logical (Machine) ethical decision making was literally discussed in the textbook we were using. How the fuck does the professor not understand something so basic?

>what kind of Latin did Shakespeare write in

Leave the board. Don't come back. You're a fool.

No thank you, edgelord.

Did you bring this up or did you stay quiet like a pussy?

Nah, he stated quite concisively ergo endwardly "(apparently having a knowledge of the Bible is unthinkable)" ye galabbersnapped kalunkiffer.

He said it was homophobic

It wasn't only my knowledge of the book of Job, but the fact that I connected it to an account I never read with clever generalisations that made it sound as if I had read it.

Here's the real kicker; my uni is in the top 3 of my country and the top 1% worldwide.

No I just typed it for the first time now.

My time in university has convinced me that women shouldn't be allowed to study the humanities. I'm not even joking.

>Going to community college
>I live in a very liberal town in a very liberal state
>Class is an acting class
>For some reason the professor wants us to write a 5-6 page play
>Fuck it whatever
>I create a fictionalized dinner party of what would happen if my former best friend (playing Poseidon), ex (playing Hades) , and me (make a guess), got to together for a dinner party (Basically he slashed her tires and shit, and claimed it was me, and I caught the charges since I had the motive).
Wasn't terrible, but not my best, tried to shoe horn some humor in it to make it accessible but got muted reaction.
>This other bitch's turn
>All she talks about in class is how she's a feminist and how superior women are
>Also hits on most of the decently attractive men in the class shamelessly, including me (gag me)
>Her play is about womens suffering in society
>Gets a hamfisted mary sue protagonist arguing with a white male about how women are persecuted
>She makes the white male bring up good counterpoints (I actually was impressed at the bipartisanship at first)
>Makes her protagonist completely "refute" them, entirely illogically, about how wrong he is
>Despite the liberal sensibilities of the class, almost nobody likes her, so they mostly say nothing

he's right, tho.

we were analyzing some stanzas from some poem and some dude said what he thought the author was trying to say, and then I said what I thought. The professor said what I thought was much more beautiful and better than the other guy's. In a way and of course, I'm proud of that, but at the same time it's quite awkward getting those types of compliments

Having your own apartment in the ages of 18-24 is like +3 to attractiveness.

This 'edgy bastard' is an archetype in almost every writing class.
>Raped by a lecherous old sorcerer.

Take creative writing class my last semester at community college before I transferred to uni. Professor's focus is Caribbean literature, which he probably got into through Hemingway since he would circle back to Hemingway often. Even had us read a few Hemingway short stories. I relate this because he seemed completely unsure how to handle the personification of YA.

Short girl kinda overweight but not circular in shape. Shit ton of make up and wearing all black like something out of a Hot Topic catalog. She also carried around a copy of H.P. Lovecraft stories. Our writing assignments were pretty open ended and he even allowed people to bring in chapters of larger works if they wanted. This pleased the girl who for simplicity sake will dub Mary. Her first assignment was Chapter 1 in her gothic romance novel about a small town city girl traveling across America who comes across a town full of werewolves. There she works as a waitress and meets a lone wolf character. Literally a lone wolf. Who is secretly the Alpha of the pack but left the pack because he didn't want a war for control to cause untold death to the pack. B

Oh and she had a lisp and we all had to read our assignments out loud. Her second assignment was about the girl and the werewolf falling in love and how she wanted to have sex with him, but he couldn't since you can turn people into a werewolf via sex in her book. Even if he is in human form. I'll never forget

"Sssh ssslurped his ripped pexsss and dragged her tongue further further down toward his ssstone hard member....

It was terrible. I can just infer that from the fucking synopsis.

This is why I'd never ever set foot in a creative writing class. You should have studied Classical literature instead my friend.

It was conversation based rather then setpiece chasing.
Most people went for an overall idea/setting that was interesting but lacked the content to back it up.

So I opted to go for what was likely a less interesting synopsis and instead focused on making the dialogue good/flow well.

>simplicity sake will dub Mary
why did you give her a name if you weren't gonna use it? take another writing class ya dummy
lol jk im no cyber bully, we're cool

I realized this after rereading. I had another story and was afraid I was getting near the character limit or something. Also just bad writing.

I shared it with another guy, he just travelled a lot for his work. It was also filthy.

Post the other story you had in mind, the first one was entertaining

professor gives us some advice one day
>Don't write about your feelings. I'm not trying to be a bummer, but nobody actually cares about any of your feelings.
Pretty good advice tbqh.

dude too real

>Also because I told a classmate their story was a ‘complete disaster’ in a critique.
Seems like a perfect thing for a professor to get mad at desu.

tfw I wrote a story about a school shooting for a fiction class and a play about a beta male who rapes an alpha on a camping trip for a playwriting class

This aspect of English/Writing classes is cringy, everyone in my English class feels the need to puke up vocabulary in the most condescending tone possible in order to earn brownie points from the teacher. It's so disingenuous that I'm starting to feel embarrassed for opening my mouth

CHRISTKEKS 1, HARD WORKING STUDENTS 0. WOMEN ARE INFERIOR. HIGH FIVE BRO

I'm not Christian.

I posted it a few times before, but my experience
>Took creative writing for fun, because hey I like writing and the uni has an english requirement
>Professor is an aging hippy, the "all writers are good in their own special way" type
>Only references literally-who female authors and assigns their readings
>Oh boy
Class consisted of:
>three indistinct basic bitches who write about the time they had underage sex and what an empowering moment that is
>one dago fuckboi who wrote about the same thing
>tolkien fanboy who only writes high-fantasy, regardless of structure
>hemingway fanboy who wrote about drinking and cigars and sounded like his lungs were made of leather
>barely literate redneck who actually wrote pretty well because he didn't try for any specific style
>a /pol/tard white-power-lifter who wrote about killing people, the time he kicked some drunk's teeth in at the beach, how Wyoming is so great because it is a libertarian paradise
>refugee who didn't really understand english and wrote about doing chores in bumfuck africa
>a black woman who wrote really edgy shit and always read them aloud; "'My mother is such a cunt' the nigger said as he shot up heroin" was an actual starting line
>the aspiring female author who thought her experiences were wholly unique and new
>and me, trying to improve my writing
The class actually turned me off from writing for three years and the professor would never provide criticism but would also never grade well.

Oh boy I have a few

>be 18
>sign up to Advanced Lit classes
>helps studying for matura, gonna be useful
>first lesson, studying style
>"Where does Hemingway fall?"
>modernism, says a student
>another shakes her head, visibly disagrees
>teacher asks if she has something to add
>"I mean, like, it's uh kinda dumb, because, Hemingway wrote in like the 50s, he can't be modern"
>she thinks modernism = contemporary
>teacher asks what's postmodernism in her opinion
>that's like, uh, futuristic
>some students smirk
>teacher doesn't want to ruin her
>"I can see the logic there Becky, but that's not how it works"
>Becky argues that it should, in fact, work like that
>excuse myself to the toilette
>read Veeky Forums and smoke cigarettes for 40 minutes
>now they're arguing if avant-garde poetry is still avant-garde
>Eliot, Kassak etc. influenced poetry after all
>avant-garde stops being avant-garde as soon as it's written down in their opinion, as it stops being "fresh"
>Becky raises her hand
>tfw I'm out of cigarettes

>2nd lesson
>analyzing poetry
>poem is about 50 words
>really basic
>"please be mine, I'll give everything" in verse
>class can't figure it out
>Gyros-smelling whale breathing into a Starbucks papercup raises her hand
>"I think this is disgusting, relationship is not trading where a man gives something in exchange for love"
>"what's next, prostitution?"
>teacher looks at her for a solid minute
>You wish someone would write love poems like that to you, you fat fuck
>I excuse myself to the toilette
>get myself Starbucks and a small bottle of jack
>drinking boozed up coffee for the rest of the lesson
>Fattie asks what kind of coffee I'm drinking
>Oh just cappuccino from Starbucks
>"oh I love starbucks"
>"Yes, I saw. You were my inspiration"
>smile and hold up budget Irish coffee
>"t-thanks user"

>next week she sits down next to me
>I think she took a bath in ketchup judging by the smell
>excuse myself to toilet
>sit down next to a cutie
>leave all my stuff at fattie's desk
>she spends the next 2 hours buried in her book, face covered in hair
>looks like depressed chewbacca
>tell her "see you next time" and smile
>take cutie out that night

>weeks pass
>now I drink before classes
>actually fun like that
>teacher asks me and another Veeky Forumsguy I'm friends with when class is retarded
>otherwise we do our own assignments
>teacher tutors us, we're friends with her
>known as the two poetfuckboys
>actually learning stuff now
>drunk one day
>sit in the back
>friend is rolling cigs on the low
>27 year old obnoxious dude sits next to us
>he signed up to meet naive 18 year old girls
>he's chatting up cutie I date
>"wanna grab some food after class?"
>"no I have better things to do sorry"
>"Like what?"
>"Just, things"
>friends starts laughing
>blows tobacco all over desk and floor
>I crack up
>fatty and Becky talk about big tobacco and their misogyny
>we're laughing and cleaning up the tobacco
>teacher interrupts the Tumblr duo
>"this is about literature"
>they sperg out

>tfw we're drunk off our asses dusting up tobacco and laughing like shit while a landwhale and a tumblrina discuss feminism during a class about literary aesthetics
>"The country's most prestigious university in the field of humanities"
>okaythen

>I'm you but smarter
being a bit smarter than an autist still makes you autistic

>beta male who rapes an alpha

..... go on.....

You're both taking bait seriously. Nobody wants you here. Go back to upboating posts

actually being smarter than an autist (this in a social context) would imply that you are indeed beyond the upper limits of autistry

living the dream

this makes me want to live the literary lifestyle
is it worth it?

>because he didn't try for any specific style
I don't know why kids in CW class get so defensive about their 'styles'. I always tried to write differently in those classes so I could get experience and feedback from it, but everyone else were just so stuck in their ways. Even if they were good at writing like that, it was just boring to hear the same kind of poem five times a semester from them. Where's the challenge?

please tell me he is collin yost

Tbqh I'm having the time of my life. This was 2 years ago. I have another 2 to go before I have to find a full time job, which my lit diploma won't exactly guarantee. Any progress I make in writing is unfruitful as getting published remains a pipedream.
In short it's fucking awesome for about 4-6 years, then it goes downhill fast.

I chose literature because I love it, but also because I hate almost everything else. I "had no choice" but to follow my passion. If you can bear studying something more practical and eventually working in that field, do not choose Veeky Forums. You gotta embrace the "no future" meme and have true passion for all things art to make a humanities degree worthwhile over STEM.

If you end up as a litbro, an advice: make those 4-6 years count. There's no better time to participate in or spectate the local art scene.

Post the story

Sorry, the arrogance and logical fallibility is usually a dead giveaway

Go ahead and explain my fallacious logic.

Story:
>Beta male feels left out, overshadowed by presence of Alpha
>A invites B on a camping trip
>A makes side remarks making B feel even smaller
>They share a tent that night, B rapes A to assert dominance
>Next morning, A is quiet, agrees to go visit waterfall with B and others
>B about to jump from waterfall to swim
>A hits him with a rock and he falls, eventually all realize he was murdered
>They go home to get help
>A later confesses to gf that he killed B
>She tries to report it
>He kills her too
>Everyone_knows.jpeg
>He runs back into the forest and disappears
Fin

I don like it

You are out here bragging about your knowledge of the Bible and your ability to draw comparisons to other literature given a basic idea of what it's about. Fine. But being so self indulgent about something so small and recounting the awe and total reverence your classmates felt for you is the pinnacle of arrogance and a sure sign of a small, insecure mind. If there was any doubt, you erased it with your comment about banning women from humanities.
>B-but you didn't refute my logic!!
Your entire life is a logical fallacy.

>one woman is a retard in class so all women should be banned from humanities
>pfft, what fallacious logic
Personally, I've found men miss the point or act retarded far more often then women in the humanities classes I've taken, but since I'm not a faggot I don't think that means all men are terrible at the subjects.

>he would not see the sun rise the next day
Moron

Did he know not to make the same post half an hour apart?

You were blown the fuck out neckbeard, accept it and go back to your subreddit

gay

I'm not bragging about my knowledge of the Bible at all, I think it's a given that any educated Westerner should be familiar with it. My knowledge of it is superficial at best. 'I'm you but smarter' is a common meme you dunce, I wasn't actually claiming that. I was laughing at the total ignorance of my supposedly educated classmates.

You haven't pointed out a single fallacy yet.

>one woman

All the women in all of my classes were retarded without exception, see

>Even had us read a few Hemingway short stories
No way bro!

so in two separate humanities classes you had one woman in each class? (I assume, since you linked to those stories saying "all women in all of my classes were retarded without exception")
Two women are so statistically substantial that you can dismiss the entire gender?

Unfortunately there were a majority of women in each of my classes and they ruined all of them. I have dozens of similar stories.

In one class on the Iliad, our professor was trying to discuss the concept of Kleos as the Greeks understood it with reference to Achilles' spat with Agamemnon over Briseis. He didn't get anywhere though, because girls were constantly raising their hands to go on long-winded diatribes about how Homer was really a feminist, that the entire purpose of Achilles and Agamemnon's falling out had nothing to do with Kleos, and that it could only be interpreted as a condemnation of misogyny.

Similarly, in the class on Seneca and Shakespeare, we never got to hear another professors view on Antony and Cleopatra, because the girls decided to have a discussion about how Cleopatra was really the protagonist and hero of the story. It really beggared belief, but there you go.

They were constantly upset about the ancient view of the traditional role of women, but ironically they confirmed it in doing so. The ancients valued women only for sex and reproduction. The girls in class proved this by only being able to interpret Classical literature through the lens of gender relations.

Sounds like you guys were just unlucky.
I managed to navigate through my English courses without any major 3rd wave tumblr feminist shitflingers.
Your results will vary.

>Homer represents Odysseus's wife, Penelope, as a woman who remains faithful to her husband and refuses to give in to her suitors by devising a clever plan to stall them
>Even though she couldn't use physical strength to help him she raised their son to be strong and used her feminine cleverness to her advantage
>"wow uhm..... Homer was trying to show how like.... everyone in Greece was totally misogynist and Penelope was like, totally against the whole stay at home and be a baby factory thing... so like, she refused to finish the weaving cause like, she was rebelling against the misogynistic status quo"
Feminists in classical literature courses are a fucking joke.

To be fair, a minority of the girls in my class were tumblrina feminists, it's just that the ordinary girls chose to agree with them by default. This was because they had no capacity for critical thinking, or any kind of serious thinking, at all. They weren't in the least interested in the subject matter, only in the appearance of studying it.