Write whats on your mind

You dumb bitch! How can you say you are available on Sunday and then somehow become unavailable.

I hope my wife's surgery will be okay. Fucking noncaring doctor's don't help. Almost everything in this world run by the almighty dollar and I hate it the most.

I dunno what to do with my life. I am a soon-to-be college graduate. I feel very resistant to the idea of working. I've had a few part-time jobs and full-time internships and I know I don't want to spend a significant portion of my life doing that sort of thing. I'm thinking about working from home and/or doing freelance work of some kind. Perhaps then I would have at least a little bit more freedom than if I worked in an office. Of course it wouldn't be ideal, but the world is fucked and I need to support myself somehow.

I dropped out of sixth form 3 years ago (21 now) and I only leave my parents property once a month or so. I just sit and read in a insulated cuckshed around back. Wouldn't trade this for anything the last few years have been the easiest, most fulfilling years of my life, I don't talk to anyone except myself and only speak to my parents around once a week.
Sure I'm a little sad when I realise I'll probably have a meaningful relationship with a female but works of literary merit are a decent enough substitute besides I have the sky to look at. I'm still young though so maybe the dissatisfaction and regret will only set in when I'm older.
Fuck being around other people though, I can't deal with them I always presume they take a dislike to me immediately even though they're probably just indifferent I still get anxious around them anyway. Still have nightmares about merciless bullying throughout the years before this, I was born a weak cunt and I'll always be one, I've become weaker and more scared of people as I've grown older.
At least this degenerate civilisation lets weak cunts like me enjoy all the prominent works of the entire canon in peace.

I don't want to be gay anymore.
>my parents say they accept me for who I am but I know they're just saying that to cover up their disappointment that I'll never be like everyone else
>I know being gay is almost certainly something you're just born with but I can't help like I did something wrong to end up like this
>I didn't know what love was until I hugged my last boyfriend for the first time
>I know deep down that spark is something I'll never feel with a woman
>even if I kept up the lie and brought kids into the world I couldn't live with myself for raising them in a loveless relationship
I-I think I need a hug

1. What are you going to do when your parents die
2. Do you have any hobbies other than reading and vidya
3. What part of Britbongistan are you from out of curiousity

I truly cannot imagine being in a meaningful romantic relationship. I have had two serious girlfriends and my time spent with both of them was mostly miserable. Are some people just meant to be alone?

Soldier on and find the guy that can give you that hug.

Cheers mang, maybe I will. Either that or the good lord will finally hear my prayers and cure me of my unquenchable thirst for fuccbois

You didn't do anything wrong. Please don't feel bad about it.

Your parents truly love you.

I want a flat chested Veeky Forums gf

gotta piss

find a really passing trap

>he good lord will finally hear my prayers
He is closer to you than your next breath is

>unquenchable thirst for fuccbois
oh honey bee, God is the biggest fuccboi of them all, you'll see when you realise who HE is

I'm too stupid for this world.

im 2 $mART 4 dis whirld

Become a monk

I made accidentally created a sort of popular thread full of weird awful shit on /b

link dat sh bih

So, what'd you meet up with? Like an Alien, Demon, AI, the realization that you've been deluding yourself the whole time?

You can choose not to be gay and slowly reprogram yourself to be straight, asexual at the very least, there is a level of choice even if you are biologically and conditionally grown to incline that way you can work on it if it's seriously not something you want for your life.. or, you could just figure out how to not make their problem "disappointment that you'll never be like everyone else" your problem.

I want another bite of the apple but my soul can not afford it.

When you realize that the first of TS Eliot's First Quartets is LITERALLY a copy of St Augustine's Book XI in Confessions... Tom, you fucking madman!

I'm alone. I'm tired of not having anything that I care to work towards because the lack of anything to do is making me reflect on all of the stuff I rationally should choose to do; Working out, finding a job, education, making myself available so I can start a new relationship, etc. I'm worried, not worried, that waiting around for something to happen to inspire me to want for life is the wrong action but I trust in the part of me that quietly says wait patiently. I'm tired of waiting for something to happen but not frustrated enough to make something happen so I'm in this weird place. this weird in between place.

I feel like I've matured emotionally faster than everyone else. I never could enjoy the things that could've made me fit in. I even remember forcing myself to listen to top 40 radio, just to listen, to see if it resonated with me. It didn't.

I just want people who'll be good friends. I can't find it anywhere.

seconded.
i'm in the same place right now.

Let me carry on... I just spent a week in a monastery. Compline at quarter to eight with the snow falling outside, and the soft smell of candle fire, with the gregorian chants, and the small south american woman singing behind me every night of the week that brought the tears to my eyes... these are the moments I live for.

dude, its okay man.
its okay to be gay.

What exactly is an enough amount of work per day that would make me not lazy? This question has tortured for most of my life.

Because that's how life works

Just read more books they said. Your grammar and writing will improve they said.

5 years later and here I am. Still is bad at verb tenses and constantly misused words.

I want to die knowing I will never be good at this.

Can suicide be justified philosophically? I say no, but I don't think it can be condemned either. Something is justified if it's rational, and, for the individual, rational if it ultimately furthers their happiness. But this becomes irrelevant after death. We think suicide can result in a "net gain" of happiness because, on a number line where suffering is negative, we place nonexistence as an equilibrium, or zero, and conclude that the change would therefore be positive. But in a more accurate analogy, suicide would cause the number line to disappear entirely, making comparison impossible. Things can only be rational or irrational in the context of existence, and since the question itself has a scope of both existence and nonexistence, suicide can neither be called "rational" or "irrational." Fuck I just want to off myself

Killing yourself won't erase the past. What's after death is not necessarily what's before birth. Infrared and ultraviolet aren't the same.

I'm disappointed how hard it is to find good Cressida Campbell prints you can buy.

gays get the rope

My parents are alcoholic because of my failure at college and i hate myself for being the reason they will kill themselves. Also fuck this rotten culture that glorifies sexworkers, juliette club was fucking published while great voices will always be silent. Fuck vice for writing about drugs and sexuality like those are the only things that make us human. Fuck them

I have the chance to put my peenus weenus into pucci haha but her face...

whats on your mind
whats on your mind
whats on your mind
whats on your mind
whats on your mind

>Also fuck this rotten culture that glorifies sexworkers
if you think sexworkers are glorified you clearly have never talked to a single human in your life

>tfw no literary Jewish gf

you fucking idiots, you retarded fucking idiots, fuck, fuck, you stupid fucking piece of shit faggot fucking retarded fucking shitty faggot fucking fart sucking fucking faggot retarded stupid fucking retarded idiots, you fucking piece of retarded fucking faggotry, you fucking shit fucking retarded faggot licking cunt whiffing testicle kissing piece of retarded fucking shit you fucking idiotic retarded fucking faggot shit fucker cunt scum clit dick retarded fucking schmuck

lel
u always kill urself 2 late my dude

It was the 25th of october when i started talking with someone i dearly loved, my now boyfriend.
We came to know each other through a Discord group about shitposting and other great hobbies such as playing games with flat chested chinese cartoon girls and unclothed milfs. On that day me and him started to talk about degeneracy and surprise surprise, we both liked things that were, a bit out of the ordinary.
So we started linking each other links to sites about unimaginable filthy things and giggled about it as the moderators of the group threw a hissyfit. We ended up on each others DM's and started talking more and more, it didn't take us long to realize that we had more in common than just the love for masters and pets, we both loved strategy games and same kinds of books.
We talked and talked for hours daily, linked each other porn, books and video games that the other could enjoy. talked about cuddling and the gayest romantic shit you could imagine and the most degenerate stereotypical kink shit you would vomit at.
There was one problem, he lives in the UK, i live in finland.
I have no job, i'm a student for a degree that is useless, i have no talents or skills.
I will never be actually good enough for him, and it's not like either of us could just fly over to visit.
Now i'm here, someone who thought that long -distance releationships were a joke, now fallen into one.
I am desperately in love with him and no matter how much i say it to him and how much he tells me how he loves me too and that we will eventually meet, i can't think about anything but him getting snatched away some who is just better than me.
He was the first one who i opened up to about depression and personal stuff that i never could tell about to anyone else, he did the same.
Am i fucked Veeky Forums?

Connect with people irl

fish

why everyone in my country keeps saying "why aren't pepole reading anymore" but they keep rising the prices on books,they are so high in fact that it would be easier to go and see the movie,in 3d.
Fuck me sideways.

Tryna get some writing done so this here freewriting might help to get the juices flowing. Gonna be German though, sry anglos.

Die Entscheidung war getroffen: er würde alles ändern müssen. Die Go-Cartbahn, von Generation zu Generation (tatsächlich auch wirklich von einer zur anderen: länger gab es die Halle noch nicht) in der Familie weitergegeben, er fand darin keine Erfüllung. Die rotzig ratternden Motoren gaben ihm nicht den selben Kick, verschafften ihm nicht das selbe Hochgefühl, dass das Herz seines Vaters damals hatte so hoch schlagen lassen, dass er schlussendlich an einem Infarkt starb. Sebastian wollte nicht den Rest seiner Tage zwischen Miniaturrennwagen für Miniaturmenschen verbringen, er träumte von größerem: singen wollte er. Schon als kleines Kind, mit drei oder vier Jahren, hatte er das Singen für sich entdeckt. Im permanenten Lärm der Wellblechhalle blieb er der alleinige Entdecker seiner Leidenschaft: niemand hörte es, wie er mit seiner hohen Kinderstimme Helene Fischer gegen Betonsäulen schmetterte, wie er Andrea Berg auf schwarz verriebenen Reifenspuren tänzeln ließ, oder wie er im Namen der schönen Michelle verdreckten Öllappen leuchtende Sterne und liebevolle Nächte versprach, und er hatte sich auch nie dazu überwinden können, seinem Vater, diesem grobschlächtigen Bierbauch mit Schwielenhänden und Ölnägeln, zu gestehen, dass seine Liebe der Kunst galt. Aber jetzt, wo der alte Patriarch tot war, stand Sebastian alle Welt offen.

>Some faggot posts his thoughts
>He gets all the attention

>I post my thoughts
>Nobody replies

Fucking faggots, dude

fuck chrome. google is the final form of capitalism and will kill us all

>Die Go-Cartbahn, von Generation zu Generation in der Familie weitergegeben, er fand darin keine Erfüllung.

Kein richtiger Satz

>Die rotzig ratternden Motoren gaben ihm nicht den selben Kick, verschafften ihm nicht das selbe Hochgefühl, dass das Herz seines Vaters damals hatte so hoch schlagen lassen, dass er schlussendlich an einem Infarkt starb.

Ich verstehe, was du hier versuchst, aber der Satz braucht ein paar Überarbeitungen. "So hoch hatte schlagen lassen" anstatt "hatte so hoch schlagen lassen" wäre die erste. Auch dann habe ich ein problem mit "rotzig ratternden" Motoren und "Kick", aber das kann auch nur eine Meinung sein. Beides klingt oberflächlich und ich bin mir sicher, dass die deutsche Sprache bessere Mittel bietet, das gleiche auszudrücken.

>Schon als kleines Kind, mit drei oder vier Jahren, hatte er das Singen für sich entdeckt.

"Für sich entdeckt" ist noch so etwas. Könnte nur ich sein, aber es klingt übetrieben zeitgeistlich und ungenau.

> Im permanenten Lärm der Wellblechhalle blieb er der alleinige Entdecker seiner Leidenschaft: niemand hörte es, wie er mit seiner hohen Kinderstimme Helene Fischer gegen Betonsäulen schmetterte, wie er Andrea Berg auf schwarz verriebenen Reifenspuren tänzeln ließ, oder wie er im Namen der schönen Michelle verdreckten Öllappen leuchtende Sterne und liebevolle Nächte versprach

Sehr schön, aber beende den Satz hier, würde ich sagen.

Ich erkenne mich darin wieder, besonders in den kleinen Spielereien mit der Sprache. Erkenne auch viel von Kafka wieder. Es ist nicht schlecht, du hast mit Sicherheit Talent und Leichtigkeit im Umgang mit der Sprache, aber insgesamt wirkt es auf mich wie Effekt ohne Substanz. Kompetenz im Ausdruck, aber dabei eigentlich nur die Reproduktion eines Klischees (der zarte, künstlerisch begabte Sohn und der dumme, geschäftstüchtige Vater), gespickt mit amüsanten Sprachtricks. Du solltest weitermachen, aber ich vermisse die Schärfe und das Gefühl, dass dir wirklich wichtig ist, was hier gesagt wird.

revolutionary stuff

Just read The Myth of Sysiphus by Camus

The decision was taken: he would change everything. The go train, from generation to generation (in fact really from one to the other: long had not yet passed the hall) in the family, he found no fulfillment. The snotty rattling engines gave him the same kick, gave him is not the same as feeling "high", the heart of his father had hit so high that he finally died of a heart attack. Sebastian did not want the rest of his days between miniature racing car for miniature people spend, he dreamed of greater: he wanted to sing. Even as a small child, with three or four years ago, he had discovered the singing. In the persistent noise of the corrugated metal hall, he remained the sole discoverer of his Passion: nobody heard it, as he did with its high child's voice as he smashed against concrete pillars, Helene Fischer Andrea Berg on black levels, or how he had tire tracks prance verri, on behalf of the beautiful Michelle dirty oily rags shining stars and loving nights, and promised he would never be able to overcome this, his father, this grobschlachtigen beer belly with calluses hands and olna, to confess that his love of art was. But now, where the old patriarch was dead Sebastian all open to the world.

y-you really mean that? (a-and in a good way?)

no, sorry
this is interesting to a psychoanalyst, not to someone interested in literature

they’re glorified by the new media and by feminist activists and by a lot og gurlpower whores on ig, tumbr and twitter with significant influence and followings. every single hot cool chick ive met follows at least one of these accounts that pimps women out. they’re normalized among young men now too to the point its good fun to interact with then casually online. There’s no doubt its being normalized, pretending its not is doublethink or a sign of being ignorant which you‘re probably a mix of both. Also they don’t deserve any nice words what they do for a living is pathetic.

Actually going to them and using their services hasn't been normalized though, it's weird

I'm so fucking sick of being impaired after hitting my head and getting a traumatic brain injury. It's been 8 months and I've put down so much work on getting better, I feel like I deserve faster progress. I'm sick of being a social outcast who can't handle hanging out with more than two people at a time, I really thought today would go better. I'd love to lean back and be confident in that I can handle noisy environments, just looking forward to be able to work out and party again. I get that everyone goes through difficult times but I'm so fucking tired of being stuck in some kind of cognitive limbo. I just want to feel quick again, being able to express myself sharply anytime I want to, as I used to. I used to be an animal when it came to retorics and discussing shit, now I'm so sluggish I forget words and lose what I intended to say the second before I was going to say it. I'm so tired of it all, I want to be healthy again

I'm depressed to the point that I can barely comprehend a book, yet I've got to make it through undergrad or my life is essentially over. Supposedly lifting weights helps a little, but if that doesn't work, I'm not sure what I can do. I have no insurance, so meds are out of the question. I have no motivation, no interests, little energy, and no sources of support. Part of me feels like it's already over.

Are people not interested in literature somewhat interested in psychoanalysis, does that not go hand in hand in the nature of character and story, and the intrigued consuming of such? And really out of all the writing in the thread, what you responded to was the worst offense of being low art? 70-200 posts will there be, tfw no girlfriend, tfw dark and brooding fedora in the shadows and girls are weird and annoying and my parents and work: I summarized it all for you buddy, your welcome

ah yes, indeedfully so, moscovite thanks to you my fellow hard-hatted gentleman

Lifting weights does help. Do it until exhaustion. Maybe doing something until exhaustion will teach you in some little way or at least give you some comfort
Why would your life be over if you dont make it through undergrad?

Well, I took up jogging for a month, but I never saw that rush of good feelings (endorphins?) that people describe. I'll still give lifting a try, though.

>Why would your life be over if you dont make it through undergrad?
I'm already several thousands of dollars in debt, both of my parents are unemployed (and nearly homeless), and having to work retail again might drive me to suicide. My goal in life was always to live overseas, but with the onset of mental illness, that resolve is weaker than ever. If I mess this up, I doubt it'll ever happen.

because "the new media and by feminist activists and by a lot og gurlpower whores on ig, tumbr and twitter with significant influence and followings."

Is a small pond surrounded by giant seas

Danke für die sehr ausführliche Kritik zu so einem kurzen Geschreibsel. Ich schäme mich ein wenig, dass du dir so viel Mühe mit diesem doch eher dahingeklatschten Häuflein Buchstaben gemacht hast. Darf ich dir den Text zur Beschauung anbieten, an dem ich gerade arbeite und verzweifle?

How did you manage to hit your head that hard? Not even bait, just curious

Is normies a majority thing (if there were more goths than any other type of person, goths would be normies) or is there an abstrac, eternal realm of forms, prep and proposition of normiedom?

wasn't much harder than what would cause anyone a regular concussion, but I've gotten a couple of concussions before and you are more vulnerable to getting issues if you've done it multiple times. About 30% of concussions last longer than 3 weeks and ~5 of those % lasts for longer than 3 months. Don't get concussions

Barely read this year. Last year I read about 35 books. This year 7, though I should be able to complete 2 more before 2018.

work is mentally draining, and usually I only have energy for reading after a few glasses of wine. I seem to read more quickly and confidently after a few glasses. Anyone else experience this? I think I'm too neurotic without alcohol.

humans are the only creatures with true intelligence and this intelligence has its origin in the abstract which is a divine realm distinct from the physical realm. it is the duty of humanity to gain complete control of the physical realm and unite the two in order to create a perfect reality

normies are people who do what they’re supposed to socially, make up about 60-80% of the western population, are agreeable, like top 40 music, have no serious hobbies or interests outside of meme things like watching movies or hiking, cannot into lit, math, science beyond the most plebiean entry level shit, are incapable of empathizing with down and outs beyond being hysterically emotive or pedantic cunts, are basically p-zombies with no imagination outside of acting out media sequences they’ve consumed with self-inserts, cannot have ecstatic experiences, cannot be spontaneous, dress horribly (even if they are fashionably dressed), have absolutely no will power, are unthinking consumers, are unthinking voters (or vote at all), are usually very meek and agreeable, love tv more than anything, think casual sex is meaningless and has no bearing on your value or who you are as a human, speak with uptalk, vocal fry use filler words such as “like” to move their speech along because they’re impulsive socializers who are uninterested in other people or themselves, get lonely extremey quickly, have garbage taste in food, eat mcfood constantly, love animals but don’t hunt or go out into the wilderness ever, are scared of weapons or only use them where they are supposed to, would never talk back to a police officer, professor, manager, employer, politician, journalist or physician, trust corporations, enjoy watching the news, feel like they are friends with podcast hosts, day time tv hosts etc and so on. I could go on for a lot longer but that’s the gist of it. I think i may have left out: ignorant of pricing, technical details, quality of automobiles, can’t drive a car fast without being an idiot, can’t drive stick, can’t bench two pl8’s, can’t sprint fast, have an above 5 second 40 yard dash time, have a weak unwilling grip, do meme things in bed like say “choke me daddy” and choking women because they saw it on tumblr, are afraid to pull hair or pin down in bed, only have iud/birth control or condom sex, afraid of being seen alone in public, are afraid of batner stopping, are afraid of being seen as outstanding or dominant, defer constantly to others as if they’ll be safe doing so, are afraid of averting gaze during conversation, talk disingenuously about social relationships, loves dogs, loves camping and traveling, loves ice cream and sugar foods, loves condiments like ketchup and mustard and other subhuman pastes like that

dumb normie

yes

> intelligence has its origin in the abstract
kek

shit i was actually wrong. intelligence is rather the ability to see into the abstract. that's what we are doing when we discover new mathematics, we are looking into the abstract

I feel you. Better get some talents soon, you'll need them.

Antidepressants are cheap. $30/month for the newer generation ones.

I've tried various things for depression. Working out only helps out temporarily afterwards. Looking better does help day-to-day though. I've tried stimulants like adderall and they do not help at all. Working regularly (yes, wage slavery!) and keeping a schedule was probably the biggest help for me along with anti-depressants. Cipralex and wellbutrin are pretty good.

yes but intelligence does not only extend to "new mathematics"

I don't believe that some people are meant to be alone, but I do believe that some people are better off alone.

But what actually caused the concussions in the first place tho

I feel like wageslaving only made it worse, or at least solidified the sense that I was lying to people, since I had to put on a mask in order to function. That was a cashier job at a grocery store, though, which is possibly the worst one for someone who's depressed.

How did you get antidepressants? Just schedule a doctor's visit, tell them about your case, and try to get a prescription? Appointments are like $40 at my university, so I'll have to save up some. You mention Wellbutrin, which gets a lot of positive feedback, so I'll aim for that one first.

Yeah, but what have you been hitting your head against?

of course i was just giving an example

Yeah just talk to a doctor and say you think you are depressed and that you may need treatment. Say you have tried things like exercise and diet with no improvement in your mood (unless you haven't) and you would like to try medication.

Of course most people agree that they are pathetic, but seing those fucking "God bless Sasha Grey" t shirts makes me think otherwise. And hearing this god forsaken phrase "It helps me explore my sexuality" being spewd out by every degenerate, like earning money in the most pathetic way possible somehow widens ones horizons. But maybe I'm just a lonely bitter fuck

Thanks, user. That restores some of my hope. I look forward to the day we're both free from this awful thing.

Is this a reddit writing prompt

Best wishes

Don't try to force yourself to not be gay

my grandma did that and it made her life suck

Natürlich. Bin aber nicht sicher, ob ichs heute noch schaffe