Why isnt this book a bigger meme?

why isnt this book a bigger meme?

heres a fun quote:

“I would argue that masturbation is the human animal's most important adaptation. The very cornerstone of our technological civilization. Our hands evolved to grip tools, all right—including our own. You see, thinkers, inventors, and scientists are usually geeks, and geeks have a harder time getting laid than anyone. Without the built-in sexual release valve provided by masturbation, it's doubtful that early humans would have ever mastered the secrets of fire or discovered the wheel. And you can bet that Galileo, Newton, and Einstein never would have made their discoveries if they hadn't first been able to clear their heads by slapping the salami (or "knocking a few protons off the old hydrogen atom"). The same goes for Marie Curie. Before she discovered radium, you can be certain she first discovered the little man in the canoe.”

Other urls found in this thread:

justsomelyrics.com/2184628/ernest-cline-nerd-porn-auteur-lyrics.html
youtu.be/cSp1dM2Vj48
372pages.com/],
docs.google.com/document/d/1sE7GSn7i0_FJRPNpsBk08VWu0DrMAeF7VPEH9KYAbOI/edit#heading=h.2jxsxqh
372pages.com/]
ernestcline.com/spokenword/npa.htm
twitter.com/NSFWRedditGif

...It’s a huge meme

“I wish someone had just told me the truth right up front, as soon as I was old enough to understand it. I wish someone had just said: “Here’s the deal, Wade. You’re something called a ‘human being.’ That’s a really smart kind of animal. Like every other animal on this planet, we’re descended from a single-celled organism that lived millions of years ago. This happened by a process called evolution, and you’ll learn more about it But trust me, that’s really how we all got here. There’s proof of it everywhere, buried in the rocks. That story you heard? About how we were all created by a super-powerful dude named God who lives up in the sky? Total bullshit. The whole God thing is actually an ancient fairy tale that people have been telling one another for thousands of years. We made it all up. Like Santa Claus and the Easter Bunny. “Oh, and by the way … there’s no Santa Claus or Easter Bunny. Also bullshit. Sorry, kid Deal with it.”
― Ernest Cline, Ready Player One

“The only thing crazier than hallucinating a fictional videogame spaceship would be to blame it on a frosted breakfast pastry.”
― Ernest Cline, Armada
tags: hallucinations, pop-tarts, spaceships
16 likes

Reminder this guy also wrote one of the worst poems ever written:

justsomelyrics.com/2184628/ernest-cline-nerd-porn-auteur-lyrics.html

How is this a poem? What a goddamn retard.

>If you're an intelligent woman who is interested in breaking into the adult film industry,
and if you can tell me the name of Luke Skywalker's home planet,
then you are hired.
It doesn't matter if you think you're overweight or unattractive.
It doesn't matter if you don't think you're beautiful.
You are beautiful. . .
And I will make you a star.

I'd kill myself but it's already too late

>these are actually fucking real

If you ever wanted to know WHY RP1 was a bad book, I should direct you to the podcast (concluded a few months ago) "372 Pages We'll Never Get Back" with Conor Lastowka and Michael J. Nelson (of MST3K fame).

One of the consistent features was how they challenged each other with a future passage of the book and some shitty fan fiction with a similar theme and had each other guess which one was real and which one wasn't.

"You and the other Sux0rz can all go fuck a duck."

kek

I tried to reason whether it could be a ''''joake'''' about some natural build-up of heavy water (haven't checked that), but then remembered that he's just a lamer who would still have confused protons and neutrons in that case.

Even then, hydrogen's got two neutrons at the absolute most, and that's not what he means by a few. He's just an idiot, no two ways about it.

This. A good writter could have used the same premise to satire how slavishly obedient to pop culture some people are.

Get hyped, geeks!
youtu.be/cSp1dM2Vj48

“An insult to life itself.”

I kinda wanna see a book like RPO that completely plays straight the idea that cultural stagnation is a wonderful thing and the antagonists are the ones trying to innovate and be creative.

>antagonists are the ones trying to innovate
That was (one of the many things) that bothered me about RPO. Halladay is credited as basically some sort of god that might as well have ruined the world with his invention (which isn't all that impressive or forward-thinking, by the time RPO was released, Second Life and World of Warcraft had been out for years, this isn't exactly William Gibson-like imagination), while the suits at the megacorporation literally did nothing wrong up until the point where they blow up the Stacks, yet Wade hates them anyway because "they're corporations and therefore evil".

>built-in sexual release valve provided by masturbation
>Newton
newton was pure, you degenerate filth

...

i feel like i've just been shot in the fucking chest what on god's green earth is this

is this what peak autism looks like?
>I memorized every last Bill Hicks stand-up routine.
wew, i like Hicks, but every single time somebody names him as their favorite stand-up comedian or as their only known stand-up comedian, you can be sure there'll be trouble

A man was paid to write this.

>Kill me

>When you write a self insert character who condescendingly lectures the reader on your atheist views, and imply scientists from the Renaissance were degenerates while thinking living in a culturally stagnate civilization that fetishizes 1980's pop culture is not just okay, but a dream come true.

>I wasn't some dilettante

Is it worth reading so that I can form a coherent argument for why I hate it? People frequently recommend this shit cause they know I read and they always ask why I'm not interested in it.

Because it's aimed at 30-something guys with lots of disposable income instead of teenage girls like Twilight, and culturally they're a higher-status group.

Which isn't giving Twilight enough credit. At least sparkling vampires playing baseball to a Muse song is an original idea.

Reminder that Veeky Forums is a CATHOLIC BOARD

...

>I was a Catholic for a few months, really changed my life even though I'm not anymore.

This will never be unseen and i’ll have to carry this weight til the day i die

Its trying way too hard

The optimistic reading would see the irony here as intentional, however...

Is he one of (((them)))?

I'm listening to this now. I can't believe how shitty this book sounds

No wonder everyone here can't write books for shit then.

Men no longer get to make fun of women for reading Twilight and 50 Shades of Grey if this is the shit they read

>You could say I covered all the bases.

Jesus Christ. This is a real, published bestseller.

HAVE YOU PREORDERED IT YET BOYS?

Not really a lot he can go from, and adding in pop culture references from the last five years or so would only highlight how bad RPO was (the premise of RPO was that the "Great Recession" never picked up). The only real way out would be to deconstruct the first novel and show what a piece of shit Wade is, but Cline has his head so stuck up his ass that there's no way he would do anything like that, even if he COULD write.

mfw it actually is a cynical look at cultural stagnation and mocks everyone that enjoyed the nostalgia of the first

If you want to know WHY you should hate it, give the podcast 372 Pages a listen [372pages.com/], possibly in conjunction with reading. The hosts (from RiffTrax) are not only funny but they'll also show you how objectively awful the book is. (See )

and the great part is you get opinions you can repeat without the hassle of experiencing the work itself

>not buying the defenite edition

This. But not in an ironic snide way.

Hey, porn stars.
I'm a nice guy, not like those other "alpha-male" porn viewers who treat you like shit and demand you have perfect bodies. You don't have to have a perfect body for me. I think fake boobs and lip injections are gross. I think the most attractive thing about a feemale is her brain. So if you're a dumb plastic bitch who doesn't even know the name of Luke Skywalkers home planet don't even talk to me. I'm too nice a guy for you.

>without the hassle of experiencing the work itself
You download the epub and have something read it to you while you're working. I listened to the first tenth during a 30 minute walk. This is the part where you greentext something disparaging about exercise.

The alternative is listening to a pair of 90s referencelords ragging on an 80s referencelord so I can feel smug about something being shit.

For what it's worth I expected the writing to be on par with that cringe page and it wasn't. Whoever edited this did a reasonable job of keeping the pace smooth and the only real "this is bullshit" moment so far is the stacks themselves where apparently vertical travel is only possible through scaffold climbing. Not calling this a classic by any means but for fucks sake Veeky Forums, relying on podcasts to read things for you?

Repulsive.

I like the book

please tell me this is a thing we're working on

>the introduction is them confessing neither of them have read GR because it's too long even though they love books and dismiss BNW as 'the other 1894'.

I think they're funny and all but I would take what these guys have to say about literature with a grain of salt.

This thread has me in physical pain. Why was I born in this age? I don't want access to all this. Why am even in the position to be exposed to this? I just want a homestead on the frontier GODDAMMIT not this shit. When will it fucking end?

Good thing the podcast has nothing to do with literature, then. They're picking apart RPO

docs.google.com/document/d/1sE7GSn7i0_FJRPNpsBk08VWu0DrMAeF7VPEH9KYAbOI/edit#heading=h.2jxsxqh
a bit late

Disclaimer, I read the book well before the podcast. One of the things they do point out is Cline's tendency to describe something, and then outright say it. So here's a quote:
>A millisecond later, I was standing inside a vintage 1980s phone booth located inside an old Greyhound bus station. I opened the door and stepped out. It was like stepping out of a time machine. Several NPCs milled around, all dressed in mid-1980s attire. A woman with a giant ozone-depleting hairdo bobbed her head to an oversize Walkman. A kid in a gray Members Only jacket leaned against the wall, working on a Rubik’s Cube. A Mohawked punk rocker sat in a plastic chair, watching a Riptide rerun on a coin-operated television.

Then three paragraphs later:
>Outside the bus station, it was a beautiful Midwestern day. The reddish orange sun hovered low in the sky. Even though I’d never been to Middletown before, I’d done extensive research on it, so I knew Halliday had coded the planet so that no matter when you visited or where you were on the surface, it was always a perfect late-autumn afternoon, circa 1986.

And yet a few sentences later: "Clues as to the time period were everywhere".

The hosts talk about how this was so obvious that Cline must have "stopp[ed] short of a guy in a powdered wig ringing a bell and being like 'It's the '80s here! Welcome to the mid-80's!'"

And in terms of cringe writing, this thread provides good (bad) examples. 372 Pages also points out that there was nothing Wade did to actually win anything, just memorization and not "you did something different because you have moral fortitude" or something.

>Galileo
>not swimming in pussy
Okay, "author".

Thanks for directing me to the hit podcast 372 Pages™ @[372pages.com/] user! That was not only absolutely rip-roaring hilarious, it also FINALLY showed me WHY I should hate Ready Player One. Now I don't even have to read the book myself. I mean, after thinking about it, why would I want to waste all that time reading such a horrible book when I could be hitting up the gym, doing productive things or browsing this wonderful board Veeky Forums - this podcast not only saves time, it really makes you guffaw and holler. Thanks for making my morning a good one. [372pages.com/]

I love how he uses the reference to Midnight Oil's song like it's an obscure factoid.

CHRISTFAGS BTFO

>just memorization and not "you did something different because you have moral fortitude" or something.
This is something that miht not be immediately apparent. The references are so exessive and that's bad enough but Cline refuses to engage with any of his favourite toys and games. Everything about the book is just remembering that things exist and not exploring them at all.

It was noted that for "80s pop culture" it curiously lacked Nintendo stuff among listing references.

ironically this

>it's actually spoken word poetry
>he actually performed it
>he has it online
ernestcline.com/spokenword/npa.htm

Is spoken-word the worst thing to happen to poetry since the end of romanticism?

I dunno.

So mediocre I can't even

The absolute state of the western canon. How would you feel if I told you I knew with 100% certainty that Cline's works will be taught in american public high schools by the time your kids are in them?

Honestly I didn't do shit in high school english and only recently did I care enough to actually delve into the world of literature.

I pray to Shiva, let me die.
But I do not.

>I watched a lot of YouTube videos of cute geeky girls playing 80s cover tuned on ukuleles. Technically, this wasn't part of my research, but I had a serious cute-geeky-girls-playing-ukuleles fetish that I can neither explain nor defend
I grit my incisors down to a bloody paste as my eyes roll back into my skull and electricity courses up my spinal column. A metallic drone resonates against the inside of my skull. If I'm lucky, my head will hit the corner of the coffee table as I fall to the floor, and I'll be dead before an ambulance arrives.

Never read the book but this comic about it amuses me.

The book itself fails to do anything unique. Its popularity is only perpetuated by being so entry level

I don't make fun of anyone's choice of pornography user.

Will Harold Bloom review this one?

>I fucking love le science XD
>And le nerd culture too :p

Fuck off

RPO "No!" copypasta when?

entry into what? Of which esteemed canon does this book sit at the foot?

It's a laundry list of entry level references is what I think that user was referring to

I have trouble articulating why, but I feel that Ready Player One is an affront to humanity

Same

I am also curious.

>failing to recognize that this is a critique

It's like you've never actually interacted with the kind of nerd that the quoted character is supposed to be, or the kind of nerd that the kid is and the kind of nerds he worships. This is probably one of the most honest passages in contemporary fiction, and you're too busy trying to figure out why the author feels this way instead of realizing that not everything is actually author-voice.

>plays it straight
The characters play it straight, dipshit, because that is what portions of society are already doing.

Jesus fucking Christ, does everyone on this board read every book like it's some pseud philosopher's self-serving thesis instead of an observation? You realize fiction can be used to observe as well as narrate, right? That the characters can represent honest characteristics and not just be a vehicle for you to self-insert with, right? That the story can be there to critique or analyze as well as entertain? That not all fiction exists solely for the purpose of mental masturbation?

"Ready Player One" is literally 2deep4/lit/, and it's blowing my goddamned mind.

Going in I accepted that their lit creds weren't that great but in the episode I'm listening to now they've compared this shit to 'melville goes on for 20 pages about knots' and 'dumb tolkien poems' so it seems like they're just spiteful losers who hate stuff.

> knocking a few protons off the old hydrogen atom
> knocking a few protons off the old hydrogen atom
> knocking a few protons off the old hydrogen atom
> hydrogen atom
> a few protons
> hydrogen atom

is Ernest Cline a high level satirist?

> "Ready Player One" is literally 2deep4/lit/, and it's blowing my goddamned mind.

I mean the ideology embodied by the protagonist in RPO isn't triggering because it's a lazy (albeit accurate) observation of contemporary consumer culture, it's triggering because it's literally what people have left the public space (and public internet space) to avoid, yet here it is again, a reminder, as if we had forgotten that Star Wars and World of Warcraft and Dawn of the Dead exist.

Living with these painfully committed people day by day, then choosing to read about them in a hokey not-too-distant trash-heap as part of your daily "escape" is like a marine biologist reading about ocean plasticity "for fun".

I just hope people read this and pick up Ender's Game when they are done, but there I go, commemorating media.

came here to post this.
he died a virgin and was damn proud of it.

This book is a meme

it's unbearable

> ECTO-88

another dog whistle i see