>dad loves you
>have a career you absolutely adore
>religion isn't oppressed
>hope for the world and humanity
>handsome and well liked
who else loves reading Akfak? There's so much positivity in the worlds he creates.
ITT post things that are akfakesque
>tfw when you wake up and can't wait to start your day
Shortly after waking up today, hotel staff knocked softly on my door, asking if they could come in. Turns out they just wanted to commend me for something I didn't even remember doing.
>feels afkakesque man
>tfw used to be a vermin but woke up as a man one day
>tfw you're a mole who lives in his cozy tunnel network without the fear of prosecution or attack
woke up this morning, looked in the mirror to admire my gorgeous jawline.
enjoy breakfast with a family that loves me and leave to go to my very rewarding job.
I like how he makes all of that feel worthless in his work.
I can't believe how well understood by the public and even teenagers have a good understanding of him it's amazing.
I had to hand in a couple of forms the other day and had no clue where I had to go, but the receptionist was very friendly and said she would take care of it for me.
>when you are free to roam the seas as your kingdom takes care of itself
>impregnate lewd governness
>i offer to go live my with my uncle jacob in amerika out of shame
>they refuse, start to congratulate me, even allow me to pursue my artistic pleasures instead of menial bureaucratic employment
>truest afkak experience of my life
My lungs are as strong as an ox, always impress women with firm constitution and health even through damp cold winters.
"Oh boy!" said the mouse. "When I was young, the world was so wide and amazing. And now that I am older, I see how everything is connected, and it brings me such joy. And over there is some delicious cheese!"
"I'll get that for you," said the cat, and it gave him the cheese.
>be sentenced to 1 month in jail for a crime that I actually committed
>charges against me were made very clear
>jail was right down the street from my house
>got to see the faces of my accusers
Everything went better than expected
>be afkak
>meander through life as an obnoxious loudmouth
>bluff my way through all situations and browbeat limp wristed bureaucrats to avoid prosecution for my heinous deeds being well known and obvious to myself and others
>easily bored by this sobriety, time to get wasted with the boys
>beat some viennese ass cheeks at the hotel later
>wake up the next day as a gorilla
GUYS YOU DON'T GET IT AFKAK IS ACTUALLY REALLY DEPRESSING
>make a great living as a performance artist
>impress people with my ability to starve myself
>eventually i must stop
>the guys still love me, bitches still want me
>lousy circus tries to replace me with a voracious lion that eats as it pleases
>an angry mob burns the circus down to show their discontent at the distasteful lion exhibit
>used to make a great living as a performance artist
>people thought it was sad that I was having to starve myself to make money
>townsfolk and circus goers surprise me with enough money to live the rest of my life without worry and a Parisian cook who'll work tirelessly in order to find a meal that I actually enjoy
life's great guys
Akfak used to wake his neighbors up with his loud crying. He was very sad that there were actually people who live bad lives and he had a great deal of sympathy and pity for them.
>be me
>country doctor
>one pleasant winter night, I'm called for
>noproblem.jpg
>hop on my trusty old horse
>a nice ride to the next town
>arrive at the house of the patient
>console family
>treat the boy's wound with expert care
>he thanks me for enabling him to keep living
>family cheers
>fill with gratitude and purpose as I realize what a fulfilling life it is to be a doctor and help others
>at this point, the whole town is gathered outside, saluting me
>they even have a children's choir singing my praises
>smile warmly and wave as I head back home
>when I get home, my servant-girl Rose has prepared some delicious warm soup for me
>eat it while watching the beautiful snow fall outside
>after dinner, Rose and I make tender love to each other
>fall asleep in her arms, bundled safe and cozy in the blankets, thinking about what a sweet life it is I've been granted
>mfw my night is filled with good dreams
kafka was handsome tho
Idk about that, but he WAS well-liked.
Who?
literally who?
who is he?
wen meinst du?
>rewarding job
jump onto a spike
No one cares. Take your literally who hipster writers somewhere else.
Daaaaamn fuckin lmao m8
>be me
>country doctor
>one pleasant winter night, I'm called for
>noproblem.jpg
>hop on my trusty old horse
>a nice ride to the next town
>arrive at the house of the patient
>console family
>eldest child has red ring
>nothing I can do for him
>recommend they buy nintendo
Unnecessary, misplaced butthurt
>when one of my employees turns into a bug so i fire him
>woke up this morning got myself a gun
Qui?
>THIS ISNT WATER ANYMORE
>IRONY IS THE GREATEST!!
>be a dog
>have a wonderful, enlightening spiritual experience.
>feel confident about the world and its future
>I ONLY ASPHYXIATE AUTOEROTICALLY
Which Wallace Foster David book is your favorite, Veeky Forums? For me it's Disregard the Lobster
I'm a fan of Very Long Talks With Beautiful Women
...
Short and definite seriousness
That describes his life pretty well, oddly enough