She isn't that bad

She isn't that bad.

does she spend her weekends trying to pick up 14 year old boys?

In what aspect

Something about her facial expressions....if I didn't know anything about her, but saw a bunch of photos of her face, I'd sense something off

her Veeky Forums-related aspect

>>Catalog

someone post the pasta about her sitting on her sons lap being a slut

...

I also want to see the pasta

She was bad enough to write the dullest franchise in the history of movie franchises. Seriously each episode following the boy wizard and his pals from Hogwarts Academy as they fight assorted villains has been indistinguishable from the others. Aside from the gloomy imagery, the series’ only consistency has been its lack of excitement and ineffective use of special effects, all to make magic unmagical, to make action seem inert.

Perhaps the die was cast when Rowling vetoed the idea of Spielberg directing the series; she made sure the series would never be mistaken for a work of art that meant anything to anybody; just ridiculously profitable cross-promotion for her books. The Harry Potter series might be anti-Christian (or not), but it’s certainly the anti-James Bond series in its refusal of wonder, beauty and excitement. No one wants to face that fact. Now, thankfully, they no longer have to.

>a-at least the books were good though
"No!"
The writing is dreadful; the book was terrible. As I read, I noticed that every time a character went for a walk, the author wrote instead that the character "stretched his legs."

I began marking on the back of an envelope every time that phrase was repeated. I stopped only after I had marked the envelope several dozen times. I was incredulous. Rowling's mind is so governed by cliches and dead metaphors that she has no other style of writing. Later I read a lavish, loving review of Harry Potter by the same Stephen King. He wrote something to the effect of, "If these kids are reading Harry Potter at 11 or 12, then when they get older they will go on to read Stephen King." And he was quite right. He was not being ironic. When you read "Harry Potter" you are, in fact, trained to read Stephen King.

For a young man in the 21st century, J.K. Rowling embodies just about everything that he hates about his own mother, but can't outright say to her. An aging neoliberal single mother with an inflated sense of self-importance using twitter to cope with her increasing irrelevance. The sort of woman who hasn't seriously thought about any of her opinions, but feels the need to push them on to others and condescend to anybody who might think differently.

She is an archetype. Neither insightful nor funny nor controversial. She is a consummate mediocrity basking in the praise of similar mediocrities the world over who have projected their own aspirations on to her, satisfied that somebody like them is a billionaire. Her Christianity is an accessory. She takes everything that she's been taught by public school and daytime television and fashions a god out of it.

She conceives of public affairs in the nebulous terms of "love" and "hate". The fact that an action might fall outside of either of these two categories, or that something she deems "hateful" might in fact be the wiser choice has not occurred to her. Despite this, she is shockingly easy to bait into a bitter, spiteful rage. Furthermore, her generosity only extends as far as her personal comfort. At the end of the day, it's little more than virtue signalling and if social opinion undergoes some vast sweeping change then she'll fall in line.

In many ways, she's already missed the boat. Her brand of comfortable feminism has already fallen out of style. She just doesn't know it yet. The second wave man-hating sexual phobia that sees rape everywhere. Its frigidity is evident in her writing. Then the bizarre merger with proud slut queer positivity. The post-hoc declarations of characters' sexual proclivities. The rationalization of racial retconning. It's like she discovered a Harry Potter fan tumblr, followed a couple links, and incorporated whatever she saw, resulting in an incoherent schizophrenic worldview. That's probably exactly what happened.

Her name is fucking Joanne. Need I say more?

>"No!"
Oh yeah that's the stuff

And one more thing. She has a surprisingly nice pair of tits that I'd really like to suck on.

She looks a lot like my own mother, but with nicer hair and way nicer tits. In fact, she's basically a more attractive version of my mother, which is great since the only thing that really held me back from fantasizing about my own mother is that she just wasn't good looking enough.

Rowling really seems like the kind of woman who'd suck her teenage son's dick. I mean it.

She gets back from le ebin GIRLS NIGHT OUT XD!!! Plastered out of her mind from sipping too much shiraz or perhaps pinot grigio. Maybe she and THE GIRLS even passed around a blunt at Samantha's house. I always find it funny when Gen X women think they're being SO BAD smoking weed. Mouth full of the most expensive cheese available at Tesco and whatever crackers Georgia had to get rid of. She's cackling with laughter and sobbing as she lurches in through the front door. She has zero self-awareness when it comes to her emotions, but defends them with religious fervor.

Clumsily, she makes her way toward the living room where her son is playing video games. She sits down on his lap, suffocating him with her embrace and exhaling the stinking fumes of cheap wine right into his face. For a couple minutes, she rants about what a BITCH Leslie at the office is, before muttering the he's the only on who understands her. Briefly, she looks into his eyes, trembling all over. Then she locks her mouth with his and begins to kiss him passionately. At first he is paralyzed, but his mom is kind of hot and he'll probably never have another chance like this. He's thought about it before. He kisses back and before long she's between his legs, pawing at his penis like the cats she collects. She takes it in her mouth and sucks it like she's back in college. She's STILL GOT IT.

The next morning, she pretends not to remember anything, but blames him for the incident, finding subtle ways to punish him.

unfortunately she cannot accept the saga ended and keeps writing new facts about harry potter on twitter that never were in the slightly implied by the books.

Veeky Forums memes are the best

>Mouth full of the most expensive cheese available at Tesco

Fucking lost

The books aren't, she kind of is.

delicious pasta

JK rowling. Wow! she's a superstar! She's so nice. When she smiles her brigh twhite teeth do shine like the sun! Or like the moon when the moon is full. Can't you imagine her dancing wildly to some smooth 80's funk in herbed room while spending yet another lonely night, while her husband is travelling shagging away at more attractive woman! But JK doesn't care. She's powerufl and independent and every morning she jumps out of her bed full of energy and positivity and says to nobody in particular: Every single day
I find supersway
And laughs hysterically and starts crying but then laughs again and forgets that she cried at all and runs to the kitchen and sings her favourite pop tunes. Then she takes a shower and dresses herself in clothes that some fashion advisor had laid out for her and says: I'm so rich it's crazy! and laughs and swirls in a circle and rans out screaming like a little girl out of her house until she reaches the mall and feels like she's in a happy film and pretends she's hanging out with teen friend sin the mall and laughs a lot and makes a lot of selfies of just herself. She buys lipstick and tries it out in the bath room and because her friends aren't there she emulates their comments. All the others are running but they won't catch me, she sings and celebrates her freedom and runs away from the bath room until she reaches the fountain which she jumps into. She splashes the water madly and sings 90's pop songs until she's so tired from exertion that she collapses. She crawls out of the fountain, falls on the floor and rests for a second. But then she jumps up again and resumes a wild dance in which she becomes very flirtatious with the men who move quickly past her, shaking her head wildly. The next book will be a hit she thinks while crying again which she again didn't even notice was happening and finds that she has collapsed on a bank crying hysterically and somebody has called the ambulance which makes JK jump up and run away screaming, claiming that she wasn't crazy but merely positvely-minded and embedded in her crazy and whacky fantasy world of hogwarts were magicians and she screamed i'm also a magician and soon found her groove again. She was actually qucik enough to escape and ran wildly until she found herself in the mortuary. In the mortuary stood a grand mirror. JK halted and gazed at her reflection. The make-up was smeared wildly on her face. Her eyes had a broken expression. Her lips trembling. Her nose breathing in and out in a way that made it obvious that great tension was inside her. Now she cried again but this time she was aware of it. She knelt down and let her head hang. Tears wear falling on the red carpet floor as suddenly tommy wiseau stepped out of the mirror and said oh hai jk. Jk looked up and shook her head in disbelief. "I can't bear this anymore" she screams and charges her energy into a single punch which destroys the mirror entirely. Tommy Wiseau dissolved and JK Rowling sees a thousand refl

This.

You just know the autist that wrote all this shit meant it.