Be me

>be me
>fuck around most of my life, shit family, tons of drama
>mess about with the wrong crowd
>get my life together, somehow stumble into a career
>I'm tasked with overseeing this school, making sure things are running smoothly
>work my way up, never learn to socialise with the newer workers
> people assume I fucking do a lot of shit but I just spend time in my office with my pets that no one has noticed
>kind of lonely
>barely hang on to the job, pretty much cause no one else wants it and there is always some stupid fucking shit happening. Luckily we have a good PR/legal team so none of this gets out
>Every day I ask myself why i still deal with these shithead kids

fast forward

>1991, be me
>required to oversee hiring of teachers because apparently that's the role of one person
>We don't even have teachers licensed to teach math or science. Literally a bunch of new age religious programming, cause it's cheaper
>whatever, we hire some new teachers, start up new self-defence classes, pretty cool
>New regulations kick in, we spend all summer childproofing the school, making sure we're not exposing them to risks
>It's a really old school, not kidding, this fucking place is falling apart
>halloween
>homeless guy comes in stoned out of his fucking mind, roaming the halls
>couple of kids beat him up
>we cover it up, hush hush
>my ass is on the line, at least the staff are fairly competent now

>self-defence teacher gets into a fight with AN ELEVEN YEAR OLD and fucking DIES
>whatthefuck.jpg
>how am I going to explain this

"we hired the wrong guy"

literally what

he should have hired the kid to be the self defense teacher

(cont)

anyway, whatever

>No one seems to blame the school for hiring that guy. Good for me, I've been here too long to really retrain or find a career elsewhere
>Swept under the rug

1992

>I deal with shit left and right, hate my life
> vermin infestation in the school grounds, wonderful. Maintenance/grounds man is from poland or something, the fat fuck can't even put down bait
>tell him he better have it under control or else i'll have his work visa revoked
>sophomores steal car, joyride it onto school property and damage tree
>mfw that tree was protected by some obscure act of parliament
>Kids start some weird selfie freeze challenge thing, I don't really get it but it becomes a trend and some of the kids get scared
>Hire more security and staff, parents get really antsy
> one of the kids pulls my pant leg

>"mister, there's something wrong with mr janitor"

>he's actually trying to catch a snake with his hands through the hall

>I need a new job

>decide to check in on the self-defence course which is still popular
>teacher turns out to be a god damn pedophile, starting private education lessons
>he had no qualifications, faked his resume (my nigga)
>I'm watching him get escorted out, trying to mentally sort my flight tickets out, get the fuck out of dodge until I can find work at mcdonalds or something shit
>I will literally never get a job in the educational sector again

>never get called up to a disciplinary board
>no one fucking questions it
>got away with it TWICE in one year

1993.

>alright, here we go again
> try to get self defence class cancelled, on account of the fact that the past two professors I hired were a pedophile and unable to harm a child
>parents protest, it's widely popular
>uhhhhhhhh ok. I guess we'll just... hire someone else

We actually hire a former military guy, he's not even bad at his job. Students like him.

>sigh of relief
>things kind of looking up, life isn't so bad
>somewhere, somehow, polish fat janitor man convinced one of the only people able to go above my head to give him a teaching job

Yeah, I know. What's he selling? Pierogies?

>literally first fucking day on the job
>his parrot, which he carried with him rips a kids ear off in class.
>blood, skin everywhere, kids screaming
>therapy therapy therapy
>thank fuck this wasn't my choice, otherwise I'd have been gone
>expensive af lawsuit, kid's dad takes us to the fucking cleaners, so now we have to cut back costs
>kids reading about the glorious USSR from outdated ass textbooks to pay for little billy's reconstructive surgery

>get a visit from military police stationed nearby
See, the school was built near some black ops site, some dude escaped, yadda yadda.
>I see right through it, they're here to document my negligence
>I still don't even know how to use the intercom in my office
>accept my fate

>at least I finally got that self-defence class right

Oh wait no, he got recognized by a parent while walking out a sex club for FURRIES in the city over

>find out at HR mandated meeting
>tons of furry porn in his desks, closets, etc.
>fired asap
>fucking self-defence. just buy a gun

>I pack my things, sort out a place to live over the phone
>knock on the door
>everybody walk the dinosaur
>nah VP of HR for the mgmt firm I'm part of

>"hey user, wanted to thank you for being such an integral part of the school. Hope you have a great rest of your school year!"
>call for champagne
>intercom doesn't work

>Anyway, they wave wands and play with magic and shit

is this supposed to be the topic of a novel your writing?
If it's not, why it this on Veeky Forums?

idc if rill or not, good read op.

Nice blog faggot